The best relationships are the ones you didn’t expect to be in, the ones you ‘ve never even seen coming. Their happiness was measured in the amount of laughter and time they shared together. It may not be easy in the beginning but their promise to never give up burned in their hearts.

Within several months of having a secret relationship, N mostly had the most of it. Al, who was the head teacher of the academy where they work at couldn’t do nothing but watch as people around them pushed N to his limits. This wasn’t easy for N at all. He did smile to them but deep inside, he was about to get down to his emotions. Everything had a meaning to them. “Can’t we just be friends?” N thought. “N, are you couples or are you couples?” They always asked. Al, who was quietly sitting woke up from his deep thoughts. He gave N his stare as N had his lips trembling and was about to shed his tears. No matter how many times they asked him to speak out, N just remained quiet and smiled, trying to hold his tears. Al couldn’t do anything but to say sorry in chat.

“You’re being tortured because of me.”

“Sorry”

“I don’t want you to be an issue in the academy.”

“It’s because I love you that’s why I don’t like seeing you sad nor in pain.”

“I feel the same thing when you are sad.”

“I don’t want to lose you either. I cannot do it.”

“I wish I could do something.”

N could practically feel his heart shaking from this. “I’m still good” he replied while he was starring to his lover with an unexplainable expression on his face.

“Even though this is happening, always remember that I really love you”

“Regardless of how many times you ask me if I really love you, I will only have one answer.”

“I’m sincere about you, and I honestly love you.”

This time, N didn’t reply anything, seeing Al’s gaze had already drifted to one side. He suddenly felt as if a storm had been swept into his heart. At some instances, if given the chance, N would always rest his head on his giant’s lap to rest. This would always give him more energy to keep up for the day. This was nothing new. N would practically rest on the person who he feels comfortable with. But then again, some people won’t just be happy without anything to gossip about. One of their co-workers took a picture of them in this position. Well, it wasn’t really a secret because N didn’t react to her the fact the he knew about it. This picture was all over the teachers’ phone and the two became the stars of their conversation. Despite of being couples, N always had a practice of asking Al if he really loved him. This is not because he was in doubt but because of what he saw and felt sometimes. There were instances when N felt that being a head teacher was more important to Al more than him. There was even a time that N told his best friend about his tall lover. This might have been risky, but he didn’t care enough. N was actually proud about it. Yet he wonders why Al couldn’t do the same…There were also times when N felt nothing but an ordinary friend to him, just nothing, the same with everyone else. In some moments of the day, N just couldn’t help himself but to drift into his own deep thoughts till he fell asleep.

Everything went back to its place once Al dragged N inside the sauna in their academy. This place may not please everyone, but N once considered this place to be his favorite. This was the place where Al would entangle his petite boyfriend into his arms and whisper, “Everything will be alright….. I love you…. Never forget that I love you.” A small smile would always crack on N’s tightly shut lips after hearing these words. But this couldn’t last for long… Their happiness of being together could sometimes only last for some seconds or a minute or two is the longest.

The sauna couldn’t be the end; a small room at the back of the academy also became their house, Room 16 as what people call it. This was the place where everything started. In September 10, 2015, N finally said his yes to his tall admirer after several weeks. This was the day when they first hugged and kissed. You wouldn’t see anything else but happiness on Al’s face that time. They always stayed here after eating lunch. Most of the time, Al would sleep while N would quietly take several pictures of him and giggled by himself. Before going out of this room, Al would always hasten to N’s side, his voice ghosting to his ears. “N, I love you.” And their short goodbye would always be sealed with a kiss.

An eight years gap to their ages brought them differences. Al was open about his thoughts but barely had a bright smile, whereas N always had a rude and stubborn look on his face along with a quiet demeanor. Their differences went deeper than their personality. N liked his drinks sweet and always fool around Al. On the other hand, Al liked his coffee black and preferred practicality and realism over fantasy. People believed they won’t work well, but they were wrong. They might have not agreed on the same things, but still, being together was more important than anything else.

N, who was younger than Al really liked to act childish with him. People around them tend to misinterpret this but what they don’t know is that N only acted childish to people who he is comfortable with. N never had a memorable childhood. While other children lived their lives playing in the mud or climbing trees, he would always be locked up in the house left nothing but his pile of toys.

Sunday, October 10, 2015, this was the day of their first monthsary.

“Let’s eat out. What do you want to eat? Let’s eat what you want to eat.”

N has always been a fan of Sangyeopsal so he didn’t hesitate but to answer “Let’s eat Sangyeopsal today!” A discussion was always not needed.

“I saved money for this day, so let’s enjoy it, okay?

A small smile graced N’s lips as he pulled out a paper bag from his small bag.

“Here” he handed it to Al who was surprised yet curious about what’s inside the bag.

“What’s this? You should have not bothered yourself”

“It’s okay. I want you to wear that okay? I tried my best to pick that”

N never dropped his smile that whole time. He was eating his favorite food with his tall admirer and at the same time, he did not move an inch. Al was cooking for N until they finished eating. It may sound normal, but it was such a great time and night to N. The night did not end there, Al invited N to his friend’s party. N was not good with big crowds but he immediately agreed to his giant to be with him for a longer time.

It was a long ride till they finally reached the place. Everything went great till Al started to pretend as if he did not know anything about N. “What is he doing?” N thought. “Does he really have to do this?” For the whole time, Al pretended as if N was a stranger to him. This has greatly hurt N’s feelings. “If I’m in his situation, I will never do this…..” he thought. “Isn’t he proud?” Other than that, he drank in front of N when in fact; Al promised that he won’t ever drink again. N did not like people who drinks a lot and who smokes. He just couldn’t bear to smell their scent after drinking or smoking. N remained quiet to his sit till the party ended. Sometimes, he wondered off to get fresh air and to have space. Some of the guests were smoking and it made him uncomfortable, not only because he did not like smokers but because he was allergic to smoke. “Why can’t he remember that I’m allergic to smoke?”

N remained quiet for the rest of the night. “Why what’s wrong?” his giant asked. N walked quietly beside him and sight focused on the road. “Just nothing… I’m fine”

This lasted for several minutes till they reached the jeep stop in front of the church.

“Bye bye!~ be careful on your way home.”

“Wait, I still want to be with you. Don’t you want to stay with me?”

N just looked at him and did not even utter a word. Al grabbed his arm and dragged him to the church’s gate.

“I love you… don’t you love me?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m 100% sure. You know what, I’m very happy today because we celebrated our first month. Aren’t you happy?

Seeing the situation, N couldn’t help but to smirk and finally smiled again.

“Of course I’m also happy. I also waited for this day.”

“I love you...”

“I love you, too”

 

That night felt like an hour. Time always went fast when they were together. Their minute could turn to a second and their hour to a minute. N being aware of this, whenever they were together, he would always want to spend their time to the fullest. Unlike Al, he sometimes got preoccupied with his phone or by playing. If not, he would just always have his serious face and would barely respond to N. “What’s the point of going out if it would be just like this?”

It was not about being selfish; it was just that N wanted to give importance to their time being together. They didn’t always get the chance to be together because of their work environment so whenever they get the chance, N would want to have a memorable experience or simply a great time of being together.

To Al, he couldn’t do anything but to say his apologies. He couldn’t promise that it won’t happen again.

“I’m sorry if it happens. I’m really tired today.”

He couldn’t promise anything else because of his work ethics. Promises like those where impractical because he didn’t know if he could uphold them. It was better to give no promises at all rather than to give hollow ones.

“Please just understand me. I’m really tired today”

Al was the head teacher and this was a fact N couldn’t deny. Understanding his giant was the best thing he could ever do, so N would always shut his lips and not say anything else but “It’s okay. All good.”

Finally, it happened, Al told everyone about his relationship with N. Luckily, no one had a bad reaction about them. They were actually happy about the confession he made. It was the best thing that happened in their second month of being together. They had no reasons to hide anymore. The 10^th day of the month was slowly approaching again. “What should I do?” he asked his twin brother M.

M was not really his twin brother. They were just simply the same in all of their aspects in life. Their habits and favorites were almost all the same. But because of this, they treated each other like they were real brothers.

“Should I get him another shirt? He said he wanted to have new ones”

“No, If I were you, I wouldn’t get the same thing. Get him something new”

“I want to give him something sweet and surprising.” One wouldn’t need to ask if he was doing good. Just by the look of his face, anyone could say that something is actually troubling him.

Nothing could satisfy him. He even tried asking other people, but their suggestions just couldn’t do anything. One night, while strolling the net, he saw something that could get anyone’s attention.

“OH!!~ this is it!!” he said with his eyes glittering from excitement. After a second of excitement, he felt discouraged. N hated arts, and he hated cutting the most. N couldn’t even make a straight cut even with a pair of scissors. He just hated it. Cutting must have hated him as well because N would always feel dizzy after cutting. Cracking a large smile, N just sighed “I can do this. This is for him, so I will try my best.”

 

The project was a combination of cutting and folding which made N really much frustrated. To add, he needed to finish it the night before the special day.

As planned, Al would always call N after work. He never failed to call N every night. Their calls could sometimes last an hour or two talking about games or anything that would pop out from their minds.

“Hello!!~” His voice would always be different when answered. It never failed to make N smile but that was a secret.

“How are you doing? Have you eaten your dinner?”

“Nope…. I will eat later. I somehow need to finish this first.”

“Why? What is that?

N had a homework student. From the name itself, almost every day N needed to finish all of his student’s work...

“I need to finish Brian’s homework” N said. Well actually, he was doing his own project. He might have hated the steps, but all good for his good tall lover.

“Omaygad!~ Don’t get stressed, okay? I will just call you again later”

Without putting effort, Al immediately believed his boyfriend which made N laugh a bit.

N watched the video over and over again until he finally mastered the procedures. There was one more thing, he needed to color the project. It was not a big problem, but coloring made N really sleepy and bored.

His project was a pop letter. Once the letter got unfolded, series of flowers would come out. Each of the flowers had their own color and message to make it sweeter.

It was not a simple night. N finished at around 12 o’ clock midnight and needed to wake up at 6 to go to the academy. It was hard, but it was to surprise his giant.

Dragging along both of his shoes, N sauntered to the gate and quietly went out. He was dead excited to give it to Al, but he needed to save his energy for later.

At the academy, as if nothing special is happening. He just walked inside the sauna with his giant at his back. Al swiveled N around and pulled him closer to him. When N resisted, Al tugged a little bit stronger until N reluctantly went to him. Engulfing him in his arms, Al nestled his face against the top of N’s head.

“Happy 2 monthsary” he whispered happily. “I love you! ~” he followed

“Happy monthsary! I love you, too”

After that, N went further inside the sauna to put down his bag and prepare his simple surprise. N quietly prepared his gift as he waited for his giant to return inside the sauna. And he did come back after some minutes.

“Did you finish Brian’s project?” he asked.

“Oh yes I did, here have a look” N reached his hand with his gift to Al who was still clueless on what was about to happen.

“Wow!!! It’s so pretty!!~” Taken back, he went out the sauna without even reading or consulting his boyfriend.

“Guys look!!! Look at N’s work!!” Everyone was looking at the piece. N did not expect this to happen. He did not know how to chase his surprised giant.

“HEY!! Wait, wait…. Look at this” N persuaded. “It has your name.” he said softly with his lips smiling.

It seemed like minutes till Al finally realized that the piece he was holding was actually for him.

“WOW!!!! You just got a bouquet of flowers!!! How sweet!!” Other teachers shouted. Everyone was laughing and amazed by how his giant reacted. He hid it fast in his small locker while laughing. N was satisfied to see the result came out great.

“Sorry! ~ I did not prepare anything today, are you angry?”

“No I’m not. It’s okay.”

“I’m not good at those kind of things so I couldn’t do anything” he said while keeping his gaze to his boyfriend.

“You can’t? I also can’t, I actually hate it but I did it for you. I tried it for you” N grew irritated at his giant’s indifference. It felt not fair to N. It was not about receiving any gifts, but it was about the effort and the change he did for his giant. “If I can do it for him, why can’t he?”

Till at night, Al kept on saying story, but kept on saying the same things he said that afternoon. It didn’t work well. Hearing the same things over and over again made N’s feelings go worse.

“I promise; I wouldn’t forget to prepare next time. No matter what day our monthsary would be, I promise I will prepare for it”

The night ended at peace. It was nothing to over think about. Before sleeping, they still had a nice good night and “I love you” to complete their night. After several days, Al went to N’s house bringing his gift in a small paper bag. It had a letter and grey shirt inside.

Nothing much has changed in their third month of being together. It felt as if everything started yesterday. Everything went so fast and actually did not expect it to last long. Al was always a busy man. He always had a night out after academy and N couldn’t always go with him. Seeing this, N decided to get him a lucky charm for their third month celebration.

It was successful. N managed to find a pair of cute voodoo dolls. He got an Angel and a Devil. He was thinking about Al being the Angel and him as the Devil. Since N was young, he was already fascinated to voodoo dolls. They just had the charm that only he could see. He used to keep them hanging on his bag which would sometimes freak out some people. Seeing the angel alone was not enough. He then decided to make a small house for the little lucky charm. It was once again with cutting and folding, but that time was different. It was a lotus flower consisting of 4 colors which made it harder to finish.

Night after the academy, N would always cut the pieces of his project, so he wouldn’t get a hard time the night before the special day. However, it was indeed difficult. Even with this, he still ran out of time because he got sick three days before the special day. In result, he assembled the pieces the night before it. Still he managed to finish it, and it was a perfect home for his little angel.

Sitting on a chair, N held the little angel with his two hands and whispered to it as if the doll was listening to him. “Keep him safe, okay? Never let anything happen to him.”

The next morning came, and finally it was the most awaited day of the month. As soon as he woke up, he checked his little friend if it was still good in his home. N was somehow hesitant about his gift. “Would he like this? It might turn up childish for him” he thought. N bagged it in a paper bag and still brought it with him.

In the academy, it seems as if his giant was waiting for him in front of the door. He was the first person who greeted him good morning and with the look of his face, you could really see he was happy. N kept his same old expression on his face and went into the sauna to leave his bag and went back to his giant to give him his bag of charm. He bumped into him and handed him his bag.

“What is this?” his giant asked him while smiling.

“Happy monthsary” N whispered while trying not to crack a big smile.

This time was different, Al had something for N as well. It was still in a paper bag with a note of love. Inside was a slightly grey shirt which had a perfect fit on N’s body as if it was fitted before buying. It was great. Everyone was happy to see the two of them smiling and happy on their special day.

Student’s in the academy were starting to notice their relationship on their fourth month. It was not a secret to the teachers but it was for the students and it was a must as they say. One morning, Michael, who was N’s head teacher talked to him privately inside the sauna. He closed the door then gave N a serious face yet his voice was full of concern.

“N as your head teacher, I am very concerned to you. You are part of my team and I don’t want anything to happen to you. Students are starting to notice something about you and Al. Some teachers are also starting to get awkward with you. Try to avoid being together…. avoid hugging in front of other people as much as possible. Okay? It’s not that we don’t support you, just be careful.” He gave N a hug before leaving the sauna. All that time, N was just simply smiling and nodding because he knew to himself that this was about to come. N tried his best to avoid his giant. It wasn’t easy at all. It made Al worried being clueless about what was happening.

“Why are you acting like that? Are you angry? Is something wrong?”

It was always difficult for N to pretend in front of Al. He would just always give Al a faint smile. “No, nothing is wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong? I know you, it is very obvious when something is not right. Tell me what it is. People might see us like this and might say something…”

N persuaded his previous answer. It was not easy at all. If only he could tell his giant what happened but he couldn’t. It was a promise to his head teacher not to tell him. Moments passed by and everything went back to normal again.

N always hated hearing “They might say something…….” Why should he care? Through their months of relationship, he had heard this for more than fifty times when having a conversation or argument with his giant. He just couldn’t stand hearing it. There was a time when one of his friends in the academy invited him to go to an amusement park. N had never been there and was very excited to go and see that place with Al since his friend said he can go with his giant. Just thinking about could make N excited and smile. One night when told his giant about it, he didn’t try to appear like he was happy because he wasn’t. “disappointed” He felt as he had it too much already. When he happily told his giant about the plan, Al just simply had a long face saying “I don’t want to go, I didn’t come with my other friends and they might say something about it.” Once again, he said those words…. Biting his lips, N glanced down as he could almost feel his tears falling down. There was no point to be happy that time. As if everything shattered inside him that time. It was not about Al couldn’t go but it was more about his excuse. “Why is he like this? Other people are always important…..” he thought. “I will go with them, they might say something if I won’t…” It was really the best line that could make N frustrated in a second. They were really different in this matter.

“Fine” perfectly described their situation, but fine only lasted a while. On their fifth month, it happened again. This time it was not N’s head teacher but one of closest friend who was like a sister to him. They sat near a staircase in the academy and had a serious conversation. It was nothing new. It was the same as before but it had a stronger feeling. Avoiding his giant became a must. This wasn’t easy to do all. How could he change his usual behavior in a snap of a finger? N pleaded to tell Al the same thing because if he would tell him these words, he might accidentally hurt him or it might turn out bad. Since N was young, he is a bad talker; he had his own way of saying things which is somehow in a bad way. His friend said she would try and it ended to that.

Eventually, everything started to change after that. N got sick for a week and needed to be absent in the academy. He had the worst of it in his week of being sick. He couldn’t eat anything. Before going home, Al would always visit his sick boyfriend. He would stay with him for at least 2 hours before going home. N’s weekends were the worst. Al had to go somewhere and couldn’t be with N for the night. Saturday night, N couldn’t anything but to wish Al would come to his side. He was burning hot in fever while having a great chill. N was packed with heavy clothing and comforter but it was nothing. N just fell asleep with his tears while thinking of his giant.

When he came back to the academy, it was different. Al might have not noticed it, but everything was clear to N. People were starting to avoid him. His friends wouldn’t even talk to him. At first he just ignored it because he knew that he still had Al on his side. That night, N asked his giant if he could stay with him for a bit.

“Can you stay with me? Let’s stay at 7/11”

“Why?”

“I just want to feel the breeze. I won’t be good unless I do so.”

N always found peace when feeling the breeze. There was even a time that he felt to troubled so he went on top of the roof without hesitation and stayed there for an hour.

“I couldn’t, I need to go to my friend’s house.”

N didn’t say anything more and just agreed to him. He felt worse that night. “I’m left out….” he told his self. Obviously he was not okay. Al could also see that but was clueless about it. That night, they had an argument over the phone making everything worse.

“What’s wrong with you?? I’m not a fortune teller, you can’t expect me to know everything”

“I’m being left out…… that’s it…. That’s what happening…. That’s why I felt worse when you didn’t come with me.”

“Because you didn’t tell me that something is up...~”

“Yes I did….. “

The night ended with N crying on his bed and Al not understanding what N meant. He never felt so alone since he was young. This was one of the reasons why N wouldn’t want to go out too much. Being alone scared him to much that it could easily break his spirit. He always preferred to stay inside his haven.

Finally, they also talked to Al and finally, Al wasn’t clueless about what’s happening.

“Let’s talk after eating lunch.” This wasn’t a big surprise for N. He actually knew what was about to happen. Just by seeing his giant’s sad face gave him all the details he needed. N just looked at his giant with an empty expression and quietly nodded.

After eating lunch, they went inside N’s room. Al sat in front of the door while N chose to sit in the corner of his room.

“They’ve already talked to me.”

N quietly sat in the corner playing his phone games.

“Listen to me first. Please stop playing.” Playing would actually help N ease the pressure of their conversation. Giving his full attention to it might push him to his tears. It took moments till N finally dropped his phone on his lap. Still, he didn’t say a word and just stared at his giant who was in the urge of crying.

“Am I a bad person? I’m sorry. If I didn’t propose to you, none of these would have happened to you.” He said while crying on his chair. N just remained static on his chair. He was lost for a moment.

“Now you understand what I meant when I said I was being left out?” N solemnly stated.

“We have to avoid each other for now. I can’t stay with you for now. But nothing will change, I still love you.” This time was different, N couldn’t stop his tears from falling down. Like old photographs, his relationship with other teachers started to change. Walking in the corridor had never been scarier for N. Most of them were actually avoiding him or if not, he was the topic of their conversation. He was doing fine those past days because he knew that he still had his giant on his side. “This is too much; I will be really alone.” N stated while crying like a little kid while his head was leaning on Al’s lap.

“Don’t worry. I will try my best to bring things back to how they used to be…” This was Al’s promise to N. “I still love you no matter what…. Remember that.”

Things are now starting to go back its place. Some things may not go back to how they used to be, but N won’t care. It would always be okay as long as he knows that his giant is with him and would always be there to catch his back. Days are passing and it may seem awkward but pretending as if nothing happened is the best solution. Probably that’s how it should be, let everything pass by, bring out a smile and etc. This is one thing that N hates doing the most. He has this pride of showing what he really feels when he has to. On the other hand, this is what Al asked him to do. In N’s perspective, it may be easy because he is the head teacher, they have no choice but to talk and approach him. Unlike N, even though he locks himself in his room, no one would even care and this is actually a better idea for N. Being in a place alone, no one bothering him always brings him inner peace.

The sixth month is somehow a special one compared to the previous months. It wasn’t just their monthly celebration, but it was also the month of Al’s birthday. This made things quite complicated for N. It’s wasn’t really in a hard way, but he was hoping a great surprise for his giant. A lot of things had sparked in his mind but they couldn’t do because of special reasons. Luckily, N used to be a fiction writer and it was about time that he put his skills again to the test. “Six months of real story could be the best gift” he thought. It didn’t seem easy and it never became an easy task. N spent most of his spare time in the academy typing. During this period of time, N’s schedule was divided into three. He had to teach his students, he was asked to clean the academy and think of another present for his giant on his birthday. Failures were never absent when N was doing his work. There was a time when he actually finished his soft copy of the story when it suddenly got corrupted due to an unknown reason. This had hit the writers spirit to write but it wasn’t enough to prevent him from finishing what he had started for his giant. At the time of printing, perfection didn’t welcome him that much. This time, the paper rejected the ink wasting at least 5 of it. However, there was only a night left till the day. The final night was the hardest. Hours from seven till midnight seemed like minutes. In that same night, N had to help his friends get a dog, print some pictures, buy a new set of paper, print the file and bind it into a book. The result might not be too appealing but effort and thought were into it. There wasn’t much time to sleep, but this was nothing to N. Everything went on as usual. He woke up with his giant’s voice and hurried up to bring his sixth and the most special one among the previous ones. When N arrived, everyone was busy as of that day was also the birthday of the academy’s owner. Still he just bumped into his giant having his normal blank face and just looked at him. On the sad part, all he was into was the surprise that they were about to do for the owner. N just went straight to the corner of the lounge and there he saw his giant looking at him and he said “wait” The thrill had ended after he saw that. As if all of his hard work was for nothing. “Is this day even special for him?” he asked. While everyone was busy singing, N just went straight to his room while having all of his enthusiasm to dry out. In his room, there he saw his twin brother M happily greeting him as he entered but not even a sarcastic smile would crack. Seeing this, M already knew that something was up. “Why, what happened to you?” Then N explained everything with his words in blue. Suddenly, “But I also don’t know how to give this to him.” N proudly showed his book to M with his smile. “WOW!! If you don’t know how to give it, I have a lot of ways to give that to him.” Without even thinking, N immediately gave it to him and thought of nothing. “Can I peek inside?” M asked. With the look of his face, one can easily say that he was seriously curious on what was written inside.” N couldn’t say no to that face. “Sure you can, but don’t go far… just stay with the first page.” M really did, but he was shaking while reading. Probably because of the sweetness or more?

After some hours had passed by, after they ate lunch, N still feels nothing from his giant. He was actually waiting for something special or a simple surprise at least for it was the day of their 6^th month. But still there was nothing. Being disappointed, N took the book from M and went to Al and handed his gift to his chest.

“Here”

“What’s this?” Al asked looking lost.

“Nothing, just throw it if you want to.” Then N went back to his room, flustered from what happened that whole morning.

It took some time till Al realized that it something special. He then scanned through the pages and started to read a page. Then, he went to N who was still not looking happy at his table having the weirdest smile he could ever have.

“What’s wrong with you? What’s with that face?”

Al kept going with his weird smile just muttering some words to his N” For that whole day, Al never lost his smile and the book on his hand. Seeing his giant’s reaction cooled N from the tension he had.

Sadly, there day couldn’t be spent together for Al had his birthday celebration earlier than expected, but N wasn’t possible to come with him because of the time. It wasn’t much a problem, that was his giant’s night, and nothing should come up with that.

“I just want you to know how happy I am right now” said his giant while he was on his way to his celebration. N who was just reading it felt overwhelmed to see this. Seeing the message was seriously rewarding. His hours and effort didn’t go to waste.

The surprises didn’t finish that way. The next morning, it was two days before Al’s birthday and N’s present had already been prepared. It was a tough one for N to choose a perfect gift for him. He wanted his gift to fit him and to come out unique. Early that morning, just as he put down his bag on his table, he immediately pulled out a golden bag and reached it to his giant who was once again startled and clueless on what was happening. A pair of Harry Potter glasses would be nice but the time and stores don’t agree to that. N had tried asking several stores but a good news never came up and that’s how N found the glasses which are perfect on his giant. Everything does really happen with a reason. When Al tried them on, they matched his image perfectly. It matches everything about him. He liked it, I liked it on him and everyone in the academy liked it. People were so curious where it was from and that just made N proud. He was proud about himself and to his giant.

But not all stories end with a happy ending, and theirs wasn’t an exception to that. Days before Al’s birthday, N has actually tried to talk to his mom about it. The conversation didn’t end up good. N was scolded because of it. When Al asked him if he already asked his mom, N just said no. Some days after, N tried it once again, things didn’t get better and from their conversation, there was no sign of agreement to it. It was time to give up. Giving up was n’s best choice because he always wants his giant’s image to be good to his family. Things didn’t go good at some point, but it didn’t last long.

Things still went on, but like sandcastles, parts got washed up away. It may nay not come up as a serious issue, but N couldn’t help himself but to regret with the decisions he had made. He was one of the people who pushed his giant to go back to his choir and so he did. But because of this, his time became more complicated. Things didn’t the same way as before. It was never the same. In the academy, Al is normally busy because of being a head teacher. To be back of the choir made him even busier. He almost had no time for N. He had to leave early, he can’t send messages or make a call and etc. This upsets N the most. When they are together, still, his giant seems to be pre-occupied. That’s how there 7^th month mostly went by. Al always got scared of the weekends. Almost always, every weekends, a misunderstanding would rise up. A misunderstanding is usually normal in a relationship, but N felt different about it. It is something new to him and he had no idea on why did he become so sensitive. It is a fact that Al was quite famous in the academy in a way that it wouldn’t be surprising anymore to hear that somebody had a crush on him. People would always tease Al to a woman in the academy. Regardless of me being there or not, things would still go on. No matter what they did and say, Al would just be happy about it and like it. It may come out as a joke, but everything has a limitation. N would rather feel angry and hide it in his poker face.

“Sir!! The two of you look good together! We should be together” Was he just playing kind? Or just insensitive? N always asked himself. “Why can’t he be actually sensitive about me?” His giant would just give his frowning lad his attention once he stopped from moving or talking.

“Sorry for my short comings, I’m not perfect”

“But still, I want to be the best for you”

“Just be sensitive” N replied. Since he isn’t a great speaker, his feeling would always end up in a series of messages to his giant. It just that he can’t muster the courage to speak his real emotions

“It doesn’t mean that I’m smiling I’m happy. I also get full of their jokes. There you are.... sitting and laughing.... not caring on how I might actually feel.” Behind every messages that N had typed, as if somebody is pulling a knife from his chest. It just pains him that he can’t sometimes control. Simple could actually make him smile again, a pure intention of hug or a pat on the back can lift his spirit. However, even with such cases his giant was so busy in being a knight that he would always face those first. “Better cheer up myself, again”

“Maybe I’m bad. You are always in a bad situation because of me.”

“Why are you telling me those? All I needed was for you to cheer me up like what you always do to others.” Like in an instance when their workmate, who actually had a crush on his giant, was crying, Al comforted her with all he could. He wasn’t even satisfied with “be happy, that’s okay, I’ll try to help you” He even called him when they got separated. N would always end up thinking unimportant.

“Sorry. I feel down today.”

I’m not regretting anything and that is because I love you.”

“Thank you for loving me”

“I don’t say it much…. Because I try to do it instead. I can say that sentence to everyone…. but can’t act it to anyone else but you...

Like a jigsaw puzzle, everything went clear to N. It was a fine weekend day when N had the chance to meet his best friend from high school. She knows well about the relationship that N has, and she has always been supportive about it.

“Tell me about you love” she said while pulling out a smirk to her best friend.”

“Nothing much to tell, still the same as before” N dryly replied not giving the answer that her friend was waiting for. When suddenly, like a light bulb switching on, something lighted in his realization.

“You know what….” He said solemnly “We are turning 9 months next month and right now we are in our 8^th.”

“Omygosh!!! Time went so fast!! 9 months already?” she said surprised from what she heard.

“Yes but it is nothing.” N quickly replied denying the atmosphere that his best friend was giving.

“Nothing but your face doesn’t say the same”

Then right in that moment, N realized that he couldn’t really stop from smiling. It wasn’t really the same as before. Something went deeper in his heart. He then realized how much he loves his giant. The was the reason for his sensitivity the previous month, N was plainly jealous of the people who looked like much more important than him to Al.

There used to be days that N thought he was okay, or at least that he was going to be. They'd be hanging out somewhere and everything would just fit right and he would think 'it will be okay if it can just be like this forever' but of course nothing can ever stay just how it is forever. The day was expected to come but N was never ready for it. It was one gloomy morning because of the small talk that they had the night before. When N was on his way to his room, Al pulled N into his arms and whispered with his voice trembling.

“I’m sorry, I have something to tell you”

“What?” N said barely looking at his giant

“I’m afraid that you won’t like it”

“Just say it”

“I’m passing my resume today. I have to do this.” As soon as N heard his last words, he couldn’t stop but to break his passiveness and fall into his emotions. With his eyes about to fall into tears, he couldn’t stop it but to cling onto his giant. N had feared for this day to come. He knew that someday somehow, it would come. Still he never felt ready for it. N was never okay in that day and Al always explained his reasons over and over again. The days ended so fast that events went on leaving no traces.

Days went on so fast till everything came to its peak. Everything was about to end in a week yet nothing good was happening. N couldn’t feel heavier than before. He was expecting to have more time from his giant but good things don’t happen that way. Instead, he laid his attention to the people around him busy playing and helping them in their needs. N couldn’t help it to play tantrums on his giant. It became his way to get back his attention to him. He never had a day or time with him in that whole week. Still, in the end, N couldn’t keep his tears from falling before their day in the academy ended. Everything shattered from his sight and couldn’t hide his real emotions. Everything wasn’t the same after that week. Everything sunk into N the next week. The moment he entered the doors of the academy, he already saw the ghost of his giant greeting him. People there had noticed the sadness that N had on his face. Everything changed when he got in his room. N tried it so hard but tears found its way to come out. N couldn’t help it but to run onto his best friend in the academy and cried his tears out.

“Hey, what’s wrong with you? Why are you crying?”

“I’m sorry, I just miss him. I’m not used to it yet.” N said while crying on his lap.

Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change. With Al gone in the academy, N’s room never felt so empty and melancholic. Eating in the afternoon has never been the same. N never felt lonely eating when his giant was around. Brushing after eating became so dull. Going home became so lonely.

The worst change that has happened is waiting became a routine. They used to talk and be together for the whole day in a place but this changed into a scheduled phone call within a month after Al left the academy. Everything became more complicated since the change happen. For some days, there are instances that Al can’t make a call to N. This can bring N into frustration into a snap. Hearing his voice over the phone is only thing that could ease and lessen his longing to his giant. No matter what happens, despite of having a bad day or a fight, in the end of the day, N always ends up waiting for his giant to call at night. He may not say it, but it hurts him to have this such situation.

Birthdays are always one of the most awaited days for most of the people but this was never the same with N. In his years of living, He knows to himself that his birthday is an annual disaster. It may sound weird but whenever it is the day of his birthday, misfortunes or fighting would always be around him. For the first time, things somehow changed because of Al. Among everything which had happened that day, the message of his giant for him was something to treasure and keep. Never expected it to come out from his giant to is always busy and as he always says. “not sweet.”

“Teacher, why do you always bring that pillow?” students would always ask N. After Al's departure from the academy, N has always been together with the pillow that his giant had trusted him with. Hugging it was almost the same as being with him. The pillow became one of his ultimate companion in the academy. It had been two months since then. N had always known that his giant always wanted to have a stuffed panda, so he decided to give one as his 11^th monthsary present hoping that his giant would treat it the same way as he treats his pillow. It was no doubt that his giant liked it. Al has always been the most gulible person ever. He may be older in age but his reaction towards the stuffed panda was remarkble. Well, that was from his point of view, However, N didn't seem to be satisfied with it. His giant just gave it a quick glance then put it back inside the black bag where N has carefully put it in. "You didn't like it, right?" starring at his giant with a great discontentment in his eyes. "No I liked it!" His giant replied. "I just dont it to get dirty that's why I put it back. I want to take care of it." 

 

Story to be continued.....

Continued if it goes well....