March 2015

They'd loved each other for a long time. Ever since the band got together, really. It was hard not to, really. Amber didn't think she'd ever met anyone as sweet, anyone as dedicated. Even with the language barrier between them, it didn't matter. Having someone always around, wanting to be near, with warm hands and gentle embraces-of course Amber began to love her, reciprocating back all the love she'd received. After some time it was just natural for that feeling of love to become one of being in love. Before Amber knew it, she was already head over heels for the younger girl. Every thought she had was wrapped up in her smiling face and hearty laugh, and all Amber ever wanted to do was be with her. She’d had fallen madly in love and didn't plan on doing anything about it. She didn't need to. Holding on to every little hug or peck on the cheek was more than enough, and for as long as she could remember, she had no issue. Years passed and everything was fine, that bright spark in her chest only ever growing in size.

Except there were times, times when things got a little too hard. Times like when Amber had to haul the small girl up to bed after a night of drowning their problems in beer, something the younger one wasn't too good at doing. The foreign mattress was soft, yet the warm body drunkenly asking her to spend the night was even softer. Sleep never came to her on a night like that, where smooth curves were just lying beneath the thinnest layer of fabric below her fingertips, exposed and sensitive skin displayed just in front of her lips. When she grumbled and turned around, laying her head against the flat surface of Amber's shoulder, it was hard not to just tell her then, at a time when she was so drunk that she may not even remember.

But Amber never told her. And things like that only ever kept happening. She thought the best thing to do was just to avoid her entirely, to escape from any chance of getting a little too close, for almost letting it slip. But what was she supposed to do? What choice did she have when the small girl would come up to her, pouting to her that she was freezing to death in that tiny dress they put her in. What else could Amber do but welcome her into her arms like she'd asked, to wrap her arms around her small waist and let the tired vocalist lay her head against her shoulder, their bodies pressing together in a way that she could feel every curve of her soft body up against her side. Amber tried to tell herself that she was just doing a service, that all it was was helping out a friend in need. But she'd be lying if she said she ever wanted to let go, that the feeling of her in her arms wasn't the greatest thing she'd ever experienced. She wished she didn't have to lie.

And then there came a day where she couldn't hold it in any longer, where her senses just took hold of her for one moment too long until she was suddenly pressing her lips against Luna's against one of the walls in the practice room. They’d just been playing around. Luna'd only made a joke about her dancing and Amber only responded by chasing her around the room and then there were tickles and giggles and suddenly Amber had her up against a wall. She was so close. She was just so close. And she was panting from all the running and her laughter had brought a few tears to her eyes and Amber just had to lean in and wipe them away.

And then she just did it. She kissed her. She just brushed her lips against Luna's slightly parted mouth because she just looked so damn beautiful and it was more incredible than she’d ever imagined. But then she realized what she just did. And then she ran.

When Amber came barging into her home at 11 p.m. later that night, she once again had no idea what she was doing. One second she was in her own home, pacing around until she ended up kicking a wall, and then she was out on the street before ending up where she was now, in Luna's living room on her couch.

She just came there to apologize. She just came to try and see if there was any way that Luna wouldn't hate her for the rest of her life.

“I’m sorry, Sunyoung.” Amber told her, finally breaking the silence of the tense room. “You can just forget it ever happened.”

She supposed the questions that followed were kind of expected. Of course Luna would want to know about her uality, and as awkward as it was, she told her and wanted to leave it at that. Luna's next words, however, were ones she did not expect at all.

“How do you know?”

“What?” Amber asked, running a sweaty palm down her jeans. Why on earth would she… “Are you really asking me-”

Luna shut her eyes, shaking her head back and forth in frustration, suddenly bursting out, “How did you know that you were gay?”

Amber ran her fingers through her hair, confusedly staring at her again. She didn't know how to respond. She didn't want to. She'd already messed things up badly enough. She was really about to get up, stopping at the strange look in Luna's eyes. She didn't look...accusing, as Amber had originally thought. There was a wrinkle in her forehead and desperation in her expression that Amber couldn't quite understand.

“I don't know…” she managed to say, “I just knew.”

“But how?” Luna pressed on.

“I don't know,” Amber somberly shook her head, sighing with discomfort,“By just...feeling something, I knew.”

She didn't think she could keep talking about it any longer. There was enough shame in her heart, a dear friendship just ruined. All because of a damned crush, and that small ray of hope that had made Amber kiss her earlier that day, she ruined everything.  

It was silent, and all Amber could hear was a pesky tick of a clock in the corner, Luna sitting in silence beside her. She couldn't even look at her. And then Luna whispered “Does that mean I'm gay, too?”

“What?” Amber turned her head, almost in anger at the little cruel joke Luna seemed to be playing on her, suddenly finding her on the verge of tears. “Luna…”

“Because when you kissed me, I-I felt something, like I might…like I actually…”

“Luna,” Amber repeated again, her eyes wide, “Are you saying that-”

“Can you kiss me again?” Luna whispered, her hand shakily stretching out towards her.

“What?” Amber nearly jumped, “I-I don't think-”

“I just...I need to know. Please.”

It’d seemed like the worse idea in the entire world, yet one look in her eye, and Amber was already inching closer, she just couldn’t help it, and their lips came together again. And it was just as good as she remembered. Painfully so. She couldn't help but shut her eyes even tighter, wishing desperately to freeze this moment in time. She wanted to wrap her arms around her, to press their lips together even harder, to be able to kiss Luna like this whenever she could-but she knew that wouldn't be possible. Luna remained completely still against her and Amber knew the kiss only furthered the unsalvageable divide between them. It took all she had to finally pull away from her, knowing very well it'd be the last time she ever got to kiss her again.

Amber tried to get one last look at Luna's face before she could notice. Her eyes were still closed and Amber willed herself one more good look before knowing it was time to just leave. And then Amber felt her grab onto her hand. She watched, helpless as Luna held her onto her, not saying a word until a tear slipped out from her closed eyes.

“Luna…?” Amber whispered quietly, hearing the shake in her own voice. And then Luna’s hand squeezed hers tighter and before she knew it, there lips were together again. Luna was leaning into her and her hand was gripping hers so tightly as their lips moved together. It was so slow, and timid, and their bodies were moving closer. Amber’s free hand was just sitting in her lap until it somehow found it's way to Luna's side and Amber could feel her small hand hold the back of her neck, seeming like she was so entirely unsure of what she was doing until something definitely clicked and she was pulling away.

“Sunyoung…”

It was as if she'd startled her, Luna suddenly letting go of her hand, her head turning in the other direction. “I need to think.”

“Think?” Amber questioned in confusion, “Think about what?”

Luna suddenly jumped up from the sofa, moving to stand beside the window. “I just need to think.”

“Luna?” Amber stood up to follow her. “I need you to talk to me.”

Luna turned around, moving closer to the wall at how close she had come, her arms protectively crossed over her chest. “I just…” She kept her head down, avoiding Amber's eyes as she tried to step closer.  

“Talk to me,” Amber pleaded, coming closer anyway. “Please.”

Luna's bit her lip, suddenly darting around Amber to pace on the other side of the room. “W-well how is this going to work anyway?” she exclaimed quickly, walking back and forth beside the kitchen table, her hands shaking in the air. “Keeping it a secret might be hard a-and not even the members can know and we'll have to be really careful in performances and, umm, shows and-”

“Luna.” Amber interrupted, her heart beating so quickly it thudded in her ears.

“And we need to figure out how we’re going to do this and like how we’re going to have dates and where we're going to go and-”

“Luna!”

Luna stopped her pacing, looking up at her. She picked at a strand of  hair, moving it out of her face, letting out the breath she was holding in. “What?”

Amber stared at her in disbelief. “What? What do you mean ‘what?’ What were you saying about all that- ”

“Well I'm just trying to see how we're going to plan everything because I've never dated a girl before and especially not one in the same group as me and-”

“Yo-you want to date me?”

Luna gave her strange look, her eyes still glossy with her sudden outburst.“Well, obviously!”

She shut when Amber suddenly started heading towards her, taking Luna's face into her hands and pulling her into a kiss. She made a muffled sound of surprise, stumbling back at the way Amber moved against her lips. Amber tangled her fingers into Luna's hair and Luna eventually found a steady ground, her arms winding around Amber's torso, her neck stretching up to meet her height. Their lips moved in unison, quickly, urgently, the two of them desperately trying to catch their breaths in little gaps between their lips. Amber rubbed Luna's cheeks with her thumbs and continued to kiss until she felt the need for oxygen burning in , the sensation akin to the fire spreading across her chest. The kiss eventually slowed into brief, longing pecks following before they finally pulled apart, needy for air. Amber pressed her forehead against hers, feeling Luna's fingers running up and down her back, their eyes still closed.

“Luna…”

“Amber…” Luna opened her eyes, looking up into Amber’s with a soft smile. Amber returned it, starting to bring her head down to initiate another kiss before Luna suddenly remembered to glance at the clock, exclaiming “We’re going to Busan tomorrow!”

“Wha-”

“At 7! And we have to be up at 6!”

“I completely forgot.”

“You have to go!” Luna disentangled herself from Amber’s embrace, gently pushing her away. “We have to get to sleep!”

“But…”

“We’ll talk tomorrow, Am. Now leave! I'll see you later!”

And with that, she practically shoved the older girl out of her apartment before shutting the door behind her, a bright smile permanently etched onto her face. 

K guys. Not gonna lie, I've been a pretty bad writer lately. I keep writing different drabbles and oneshots like all the time without ever actually finishing them all while avoiding doing any proper work on my actual stories. My apologies. The only thing I could think of to make some of this random writing useful was to create this story to just dump them all here. Here's the first snippet. I have the next part basically completed and lots and lots of other drabbles in progress. Sorry I'm such a mess. Hope you kind of enjoyed this as it is just an extension of what happened in "In Plain Sight" from Amber's perspective instead.

Side note: I have no idea what story I'll be updating next and um...sorry again. I just posted this cuz I felt really bad for not doing anything for so long. Since these will be drabbles, though, feel free to comment a scenario if you'd like!