Genre: Fluff/Angst
Warnings: very mild angst, very mildly mentioned , basically nothing.
Pairing: Reader x Yixing/Lay
Wordcount: 2915
A/N: let me know what you think!

Your room was dark, and the sheets were warm. There was the soft brush of skin against your side as your boyfriend twisted and to his back. Fast asleep. There was just one more page for you to review, but Yixing was already out cold. He had been for two hours now.
After a month of being apart, again, he had come home for a day, leaving again tomorrow afternoon. He had spent the day with his family, and came to your place to stay the night. Even though he knew you had tests coming and you needed to study. There was fatigue in every inch of his body as you opened the door to him, sky already dark. 

With a yawn he had told you he just wanted to see you, and you let him sleep tucked against your side as the soft light of your laptop illuminated the room. Yixing was a quiet sleeper, sometimes he rolled over, but he it wasn’t much else. He needed all the sleep he could get, so if he had the chance he was gone off to dream quickly.
He was warm, fingers splayed lazily over your thigh, other hand behind his head. You looked at him, and felt his fingers fall down in the small space between you. That last page would have to wait. 

You softly closed your laptop, placing it on the nightstand, and set an early alarm on your phone. Trying not to wake him, you shuffled down fully under the covers and against his side. The moment you rested your head in the crook of his neck, arm over his chest to splay your fingers over his ribs, he groaned softly. 

Then he hummed something that sounded content and sleepy. You smiled against his skin and whispered; “Go back to sleep Xing, you need it.” 

“Hmmm stuffy.” he mumbled. And you smiled wider pressing your lips against his shoulder to stifle the laugh. He always called you that, it was a stupid nickname. But it appeared when you were together for about a year and you were in bed together. You had jokingly accused him of using you as a stuffed animal, wrapping himself around you and sleeping that way. So now you were his stuffy. It wasn’t something he called you when ppl were around, it was between the two of you. 

“I know, sleep Xing.” you brushed a hand through his hair, catching on a few curls. He sighed again, relaxing as he slid one of his legs between yours, pulling you closer. 

It was hard, dating an idol. He was barely ever home, and you didn’t get the time to do the things normal idols did. You knew him from back home, since you were children. There was a two year gap between the two of you, and you found it perfect. But age wouldn’t have mattered, not with him. He tried his best to come home to you every now and then, but it was hard, it was always hard. Especially if you’re boyfriend has been keeping you a secret for over 6 years now. Nobody knew except for his close family, Luhan, and Chen. His family he would never hide it from, especially his grandparents. Luhan had been close to Yixing and found out about you quite quickly, but he never told any of the other members. He had always been your initial contact point in the group in case anything happened. But you only met him once, about a year ago. Chen, found out because he roomed with Yixing in Korea, and he was nosy enough to find some stuff that eventually lead him to you. Chen, or Jongdae, was a really nice guy, you’d spoken to him once or twice over the phone when Xing couldn’t answer. But you’d never actually met him. It was a struggle really.

But there was one thing that wasn’t hard, and would never be, and that was loving Yixing. Being childhood friends that turned into lovers was something you never expected to happen to yourself, but it went so easily, like breathing. A little more than six years had passed, you were 18 when you got together, 24 now.

He joined SM Entertainment in 2008, three years before you actually became boyfriend and girlfriend. When he had to move to Korea you were heartbroken, but it was his dream and you wanted to support him the best you could. When he came home, the year before his debut, the first thing he did when he saw you was kiss you. The rest was all history. Maybe distance really made the heart grow fonder? But you felt the same, seeing him after such a long time was like falling in love with him all over again. It made you realise how you really felt about your friend. 

And now, that you were steady and together, each time he came home, you felt the same way. The butterflies in your stomach, the thrill in your heart, and he looked at you and touched you like it was the first time. Every time. 

But his company could never know, they’re not allowed to date anybody outside of the company. So you had to take measures to ensure nobody would know, not even the members. It hurt him, you knew it, and you had talked to him about it more than once. Saying it was okay for him to tell them, but he didn’t want to do that. To make them lie for him.

The only solution was for you to get a cellphone subscription on your name. By now it was in his old iPhone, but when you first got together you had bought the phone and it was just texts and ty quality calls. Now he could FaceTime you if he found the time and place to do it without anyone seeing. But he couldn’t go on the wifi at the dorms or the company, and he could ’t use his own phone because they would notice the foreign number way too often in his cellphone records. 

That was the way Chen found out though, he’s somehow found the phone and asking Xing about it. And Yixing didn’t have the heart to lie about it anymore, it had felt relieving he said, to tell someone else about it. 

As far as you knew, Chen had kept the secret well. According to your boyfriend he didn’t care much what the company thought anyways. And you sort of understood that, they weren’t going to fire one of their best vocalists, because of not listening, just like that. 

Yixing was a little more tame in that sense, but he had gotten his own studio, produced his own music, released his own album. So he was sort of happy now. He however had to give up something for it, and that was the members. Not that he wasn’t part of the group anymore, but he has a lot of solo activities now so he was separated from them a lot nowadays. And above all he wished to be able to see his family, and you, more often. 

You pressed a kiss against his neck, and made sure not to fall asleep in a position where you’d breath in his neck. There was no need to wake him like that, it had been funny the first few times, but he was too tired now. So you moved you head to his chest, and he lifted his hand to your shoulder.

***

Your alarm woke you rudely in the morning, and Yixing shifted under you, flexing the muscles in his legs against yours as you leant back to turn of the alarm. 

“Did you set another one?” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your head. 

“Yeah, 30 minutes.” you answered. It was a habit, setting the alarm 30 minutes before you woke up, especially when he was here. There was something calming about being able to enjoy the first moments of the morning with the person you loved, drifting in that space where you weren’t completely asleep but not awake either. Where reality and dreams mixed. Like the way he was trailing his fingers up your side underneath the shirt you were wearing. His shirt. 

You leant up, pressing a few lazy kisses along his jaw to nuzzle his hair. “I missed you.” He smelled of him, some simple shampoo and body wash he used, he was never one for using fancy scents. Unlike you, but he liked that you smelled different every time, made a game out of guessing which one it was you used. 

“I missed you too, baby.” he said, voice deep and raw. He squeezed you side, scratching your back a little. 

Soon, the alarm went off again, way too soon and you sighed. You leant over him and brushed his hair out of his face. “I’m going to take a shower.” Morning breath or not, you pressed your lips to his and his hand followed the line of your body until you were out of reach. 

There was no point in locking the door to the bathroom, because he’d join you in a few minutes like he always did. Washing the sleep from his eyes, and relishing the chance to use your body wash. You wondered if the guys ever noticed the smell.
It was frosted berries right now, from Body Shop’s last winter line. The scent was a little sweet and sour, but not too sweet, like strawberries or peach. Those were try outs, and you’d never bought them again.

The water was warm and soon a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist, fingers drawing lines through the foam on your skin. The pads of his fingers sliding smoothly, brushing the underside of your , and trailing down your side. 

“I wish we could do this every morning.” He whispered against your neck, lips trailing up. 

You chuckled and handed him the shampoo blindly, as he pressed his chest up to your back. “And every evening, because you shower way too often.” 

He massaged the shampoo over your scalp, and down your hair. “There's nothing wrong with showing twice a day.” 

“Hey, you have short hair Xing. If I wash my hair more than 3 times a week it gets disgusting.” You reached back and brushed a hand up the inner part of his upper arms gripping his elbows to pull his arms back around you. “When will you be back?” you asked, leaning your head back on his shoulder, looking up. He closed his eyes and pressed another kiss to the corner of your jaw. 

You knew you weren’t going to like this answer. “I hope between new year's and the lunar new year. But…i don’t know how crazy the schedule will get from here, and if the flights can fit. I’ll promise to do everything I can to come over.”

His fingers squeezed your hips and pushed you away a little, so he could wash the soap from your hair. It was a small gesture, and he loved doing it more than you loved him doing it probably. 

Once your older sister had asked you about your life with Yixing, and how it was to be away for that long each time. The thing about it was, that you didn’t want to do it every single time he was here. Because it just…didn’t happen that way. Of course you wanted him, but it seemed that when he was over he was so tired and…Yesterday he could barely stand, and you were afraid he’d faint on you. It had happened once before. So you just made sure he ate a banana or something and went into bed with him, even thought it was only 8pm. You helped him get the buttons of his shirt and scolded him for driving all the way to your place being this tired. But all he wanted was to be with you. 

Not that your life was non existent, he surprised you in the bedroom more than once. But not yesterday, you didn’t even think about it then. 

“There,” he said, kissing your cheek. “You got exams today?” he asked as you turned around in his arms. 

“No tomorrow, but me and some classmates are going to go over the mocks again. That’s why I have to leave so early.” 

He nodded, and leant down to kiss you. His hands cupped your cheeks and you wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him down into you. Standing on your tip toes was gonna end bad in the shower, you knew from experience. 

The kiss was slow, and loving, and Yixing. Perfect, soft, making your eyes flutter closed. His lips slowly moving against yours, thumbs brushing along your jaw as he lowered his hands to your neck. He tipped your head back and deepened the kiss, tongue slipping past your lips. You responded eagerly, pressing your chest against his. With his hair wet, your finger glided through it as if it was silk, and you tugged softly. The groan he gave you in return vibrated through your own chest, and you sighed but pulled away. His teeth grazed over you bottom lip, a feeble attempt to keep the kiss. It made you shiver in the best ways.

He rested his forehead against yours and listened as you spoke. “I need to go get ready, okay? Finish showering so you can come kiss me goodbye.” you pecked his lips and stepped out of the shower, and dried of quickly. 

You didn’t put much more makeup on than eyeliner and mascara for a meagre day at the library. And a sweater with jeans would do too. Maybe some nice boots. 

There wasn’t really a downstairs to your place, it was just an apartment, so you walked into the kitchen area and made something to eat to take with you. 

Neither were there any picture soft you or Yixing on the walls, there was only one of you and your sister. Not that you didn’t want pictures with him, but you didn’t want people who came over from school to find out you were dating a world famous idol. You hoped, deep down in your heart, that one day he would come home to you every night. That you’d start a family, have thousands of pictures taken, do on trips to the zoo, send you kids to college, to even just get married. 

Yixing and you never talked about marriage, there were brief mentioning of kids, but nothing serious. You were on the pill, or used condoms, both, you weren’t ready for a child and he didn’t ask. But both of you knew one day you wanted children, some day you wanted to talk to him about it, when he was all yours. When this was over. 

The sound of the shower had stopped some time ago, and you heard his socked feet moving over the hardwood floor. He placed something on the counter beside you hand, chest inches from your back. It was his old phone, he’d recently gotten a new one. 

“Explain please?” you said, turning around to face him. 

“I want you to have that.” he said, grabbing the phone and putting it in your hands. It was a newer model and you didn’t understand why he’d gotten a new one. Sponsoring probably. 

“I don’t want your sloppy seconds.” you jokingly said sticking your tongue out and stepping away. 

He grabbed your wrist, “I’m serious y/n, your phone is half dead, of old age.” Said phone rang in your pocket, signalling you had to leave in 10 minutes. “And i know with the rent and school fees you can’t afford a new one. I want to help you pay for this, I wish I could get us a place of our own. I have the money. But I can’t and it . So please, let me just, do this for you. This is the only way I can sort of help you out, I can’t pay anything for you and you know it. Take it, please, for me. So I know you can at least see my face properly when I find the time to video chat.” 

There were unintended tears in your eyes, and you blinked them away, hugging him tight. “Thank you.” Living together with him was a dream far away, and you knew he wanted it just as much as you did. Most of your friends who dated as steadily as you did, even some that were together for shorter periods of time, were moving in with their partners. One of your friends even got married a couple of months ago. And you just hoped that your boyfriend found the time to come home to you every once in a while.
But it was all worth it, he was worth it.

“I need to go now, but stay around as long as you want. You have the key.” You kissed him one more time, hanging your bag over your shoulder. “I'll talk to you soon, and see you after new years.” 

“I love you, I promise.” he whispered against your lips, kissing you too. 

You smiled, pulling away. “Love you too Xing.” 

With that, you stepped outside, leaving behind the man you loved with all you heart for an unsure period of time.