I shift my eyes up from the slip of paper on my hand to the big sign board hanging on the top of the building - ​​​​​Care centre for terminally ill patients. ​​​​​​The reason I am here isn't that I am interested in looking after dying people,  but because I want to increase my grades. There is a huge competition among the medical students out there , the one who can score best has better opportunities for job while others have to hunt for their career. And one of the best way to improve your grade is through social service like working in hospitals or taking care of patients.

Making sure I have arrived at the right address, I keep the slip back inside my front pocket and enter inside .

The surrounding here  is peaceful almost as if no one resides here, few benches are kept here and there and I can also make out a small garden in the far left corner through my eyes. I walk further towards the building, observing the nature on my way. The entrance of the centre greet me and I drag my feet across the tiled floor stopping in front receptionist's desk.

A strong scent of phenyl invades my nostrils and I scrunch my nose in instinct.

" Excuse me mam , can you please check where Mr.Park has assigned me for my duty ? " 

The lady doesn't even bother to smile at me.

" Wait a minute. "  she scans her computer screen and after a minute or two looks back at me.

" Well, Mr. Park had informed us earlier that one of his students is willing to work at our hospital. I guess you are the one."  

" Yes mam " 

" Please state your name and address. " 

" Jackson Wang. " 

" Currently residing in Southern Street " 

She types the information on the computer.

" You are assigned to work for Mark Tuan . Room no. 107 " 

I nod my head and turn to leave for the room 107. My mind starts creating image of this ' Mark Tuan ' I'll be taking care of. I picture him as a old man , paralyzed, drool dripping down his chin, coughing , spitting here and there and waiting for his death. It makes me cringe internally.

I am walking through the hallway when I hear someone shouting out my name. 

" Jackson , Jackson " 

Surprised , I glance back to find my fellow friend Jaebum running towards my direction.

" Oh, hi JB " 

Jaebum pants for breath.

​​​​​​"  Gosh, you walk too fast. Anyway what are you doing here ? " 

" Social service, for increasing grades you know. " 

He  chuckles lowly . " Which room ? " 

" 107 " 

" Oh. So,  You are taking care of Mark then " something flashes through his eyes but it dissapears before I could study it.

" What's wrong with that ? " 

" No, nothing. Just don't get attached to him. " 

Worry crosses his face and I can't help but smile at his overprotective self.

" Don't worry. I am not here to make friends. It's matter of a week and I'll be back on university. " 

" Are you staying here for a week ? " 

I nod my head.

" Cool. I'll see you around then. Bye Jacks " 

He waves his hand walking off  in opposite direction and I wave back making beeline for my assigned room.

 

Shortly after I am standing infront of a huge wooden door engraved with numerals 107. I push open it. The room isn't so equipped besides the bed on the right corner and machines by it's side. A boy is sitting on it with his eyes glued to the window. He is so engrossed in watching the scenery outside that he doesn't even notice me standing beside him.

" Uhm " I clear my throat to grab his attention.

He turns his face towards my direction and smiles gently.

" Where's Mark Tuan ? " I question looking around for old man , maybe his relative.

" That's me. " he laughs lightly.

To say I am surprised will be an understatement, this boy is nowhere near my imagination. Now that I observe him closely, I notice his pale skin matching the color of a sheet of paper, thin frame, very thin infact and hollow cheeks. He looks fragile and weak , yet he smiles like he is the happiest man in this world.

" Hello, I'm J__" 

" Jackson Wang ! " he completes the sentence for me , eyes twinkling brighter than stars. I can't get what is he so excited about. Afterwards, he stretches his hand infront of me. I just keep on looking at his skinny hand confused what to do .

" You don't want to shake my hand ? " Mark pouts childishly and for a fragment of second I find it cute, just for a fragment of second.

Drawing his hand back he sits  back on the bed , silently observing me. 

We both turn our head to the open door. Dr. Choi enters inside and greets both of us. He is also one of  my friends working in this hospital.

" Hello Mark, how are you today ? " 

" Feeling much better " Mark smiles.

" Hey Jackson , can I talk with you privately ? " Dr. Choi turns his attention to me. I nod my head following him outside the room. He leads us to his office.

" Take a sit " 

" I wanted to give you some information about this boy Mark Tuan. " he continues " As you already know , Mark is terminally ill. He is suffering from brain cancer for past few months and now he hasn't much time left. The maximum he can survive is a week or two. He doesn't have any family  or friends besides his seven years old brother. I want you , Jackson to make him happy even if it for few days. " 

' How am I supposed make a dying boy happy ?' I question myself.

"  I will try to " 

I leave the office with heavy heart and back to where Mark was.

Mark is hunched over, a pencil on his hand  , scribbling something on piece of paper.

" What are you doing ? " I ask unable to hide my curiosity.

​​​​​​" Drawing " Mark answers still focused on his drawing. I wait watching his hand move up and down,  left to right and finally it stops.

He shows me  his complete drawing , it is of  two stickman holding hands , one taller and the other smaller. I don't want to laugh but I can't help it. A giggle escapes my lips and Mark glares at me.

" Why are you laughing ? " 

" I thought you were going to draw a  portrait " 

" I am no artist " 

Mark places his drawing under his pillow and crosses his arms over his chest.

" Anyway, whose drawing was it ? " 

I try to lighten the mood.

A huge smile appears on his face. " It's me and my brother. " 

" Tell me about your brother. " 

This time I sit beside him without any hesitation.

" My brother, Joey, is seven years old but he is  the smartest child out there. He loves to act like a matured man . " Mark chuckles." I had promised to take him to see ocean one day but it seems like I'll never be able to. I am the worst brother ever " 

" You aren't. " I feel the need to say it.

" Huh ? " 

" You aren't the worst brother. You are taking care of him despite your illness, you are making him smile everyday , you are fighting with death for him. You aren't wrost infact you are the best " 

" Thank you " I can see his eyes glisten but he quickly hides it with another smile.

' Why does he smiles so much ? ' 

" Do you have any wish Mark ? " I carefully ask so as not to hurt his feelings.

" I want to go outside and see everything out there but the doctors don't let me " 

" If you want to ,we'll go out tomorrow. " 

"Really ???? " Mark jumps up and down.

" Pinky promise " he extends his pinky finger at me and I lace my pinky with his.

" Pinky promise. " 

************

As promised earlier , I am taking Mark out today. I knock on the door 107 softly.

" Mark , Mark are you in there ? "

" Yes . Just wait a minute. "

I wait from him outside the door. After few minutes Mark comes out. He is wearing long sleeved shirt, ripped jeans and jacket with scarf wrapped around his neck. 

" Let's go ! " Mark drags me outside with him excitedly.

His eyes shines so brightly and he claps his hand like a nursery child as soon as we reach main exit. He runs to the garden and I follow him lazily.

Mark caresses each and everything that he can reach with his hands. He smiles at them and pecks them softly. I find it amusing.

The ray of sunlight illuminates his skin, the soft wind ruffles his hair and his lips stretch into a huge smile. My heart skips inside my chest at this site  of him. Mark looks angelic.

I can't help this werid warm feeling from invading my heart everytime his brown eyes lands on my  own. What is happening to me  ?  Am I getting sick? 

" Jackson, come here " Mark gestures animatedly with hands.

 I walk over to him. " Isn't that cute ?" 

He is pointing at nearby tree. I follow the  direction of his pointer finger and my eyes land on mother bird feeding her baby.

" It is " 

" I sometimes wish I was a bird " Mark starts talking again " Maybe then I would have freedom " 

" Jackson " 

I am used to him calling my name time and again. My eyes land on him and he asks " Do you think I can be a bird ? " 

' What sort of question is that ? ' ' What do I answer him ? ' 

" Never mind "  he pauses briefly "  It was a werid question." 

" Can we be friends ? " Mark asks out of the blue. His eyes hold a certain hope , his smile hides behind the loneliness and emptiness I wasn't able to notice till now.

I freeze unable to utter anything. Why is it so difficult to answer such a simple question? Suddenly I remember JB's words ' Don't get attached to him. '  

" I can't " I answer without glancing at him. I know if I see his face I won't  have guts to say no.

" I am sorry " he apologizes " I can't help but glance at him , his smile flatters but he hides the pain immediately.

" I shouldn't have asked you that. I forgot that you have a life to live unlike me  who can't even guarantee happiness to my brother. " 

" I think we must head back now. " I ignore his words.

Mark stands up from  where he  is sitting and follows me inside.

I head to my room and he heads to his. We don't even exchange goodbye. 

I lay on my bed thinking about earlier events , about Mark.  Everytime I close my eyes his hollow smile flashes before me and my heart aches painfully. Regret and guilt burns every fibre of my body, I feel difficult to breath. I twist and turn in my bed like a bird whose feathers are cut.

A sudden knock on the door breaks my train of thoughts and I throw my body off of the bed and unlock the door. Jaebum's serious face greets me.

He pushes past me , locks the door behind and makes himself comfortable on my bed. I sit on the foot of the bed silently.

I couldn't take JB's piercing gaze anymore.

" Why are you looking at me like that ? " 

" What's wrong with you Jackson ? " 

" No , nothing . Why do you ask ? " 

" The Jackson I know never stays silent and serious. So, spill the beans out already. " 

I sight , I can't hide anything from Jaebum, he has eagle's vision. " Mark asked me to be his friend. " 

" He what ! " JB jerk up from bed in standing position " What did you answer him? " 

" I said I can't be his friend. "  JB lets out a breath of relief and halfheartedly smiles at me.

" I'm gald you rejected his request. I don't want you to end up in pain Jackson. " 

He hugs me before leaving me alone with my thoughts swirling inside my head.

*************

I look myself in the mirror , dark circles , puffy eyes, messy hair . This was all result of thinking too much yesterday. I try to at least look presentable before going to Mark's room. 

Before I realize it ,I'm standing in front of room 107. I don't know how to face Mark after rejecting his friendship . Gathering all the mental strength , I push open the door.

But someone is already there. I assume that the little boy is Mark's brother. They are talking and smiling. The little boy  has features of his brother and they look almost same  with matching smile.

" Oh , hey Jackson " 

Mark finally notices me. I smile at him taking seat on the edge of his bed. His brother carefully studies me from head to toe and I feel little awkward under the seven years old boy's gaze.

" Who is he Mark ? " 

" He is Jackson , my ______" 

" Friend , I'm your brother's friend "  I complete the sentence. Mark looks at me with his big doe eyes , surprise evident on them. After thinking too much yesterday , I came up with conclusion that there is no harm in being friends with Mark.

Joey smiles at me and then Mark. " Mark, why didn't you tell me you have  a friend ? " 

" It's just that I ____ " 

" Mark wanted to give you surprise " I cut him off again. Joey hugs his brother tight and Mark mouths ' Thank You ' to me. 

After Joey was gone with his caretakers, the room fills up with silence.

" Were you lying ? "  Mark asks without looking at me.

" Huh ? " I stare at him confused.

" Were you lying when you said you are my friend just to reassure my brother ? " 

" Mark, can I ask you something ? " 

He looks up at me and I smile. " Can you be my friend ? " 

His lips stretch into beautiful smile and eyes light up like thousands lightbulbs. He nods his head up and down.

" So, what shall we do today ? " 

" Let's go outside. " 

" But , it's going to rain soon. " 

" I love rain, don't you,  Jackson ? " 

The rejection is on the tip of my tongue but I swallow it back. I find myself not being able to say no when it comes to Mark. This boy standing in front of me does something to my heart with his smile that no one is able to.

As usual we are on the garden. The surrounding outside is chilly , grey clouds can be seen running across sky. Mark is busy caressing the flowers and I, watching him.

Suddenly , a droplet of rain lands on my cheek followed by another and another. It starts raining . I run to nearby sitting place and take shelter there while Mark doesn't follow me. 

He is looking up at the sky with fascination. Rain drops caresses his face  and he opens and closes his mouth giggling like a little child. He extends his hands in order to catch the rain drops and laughs at his own failure.

My heart starts rapidly beating , butterflies invade my stomach and a warm, fuzzy feeling runs throughout my body. Mark turns his attention to me and calls me over.

" It's so fun Jackson come on " 

I can't disappoint Mark so I join him. The cold droplets make me shiver.

" Aren't you cold ? " I ask him.

He shakes his head no. " Let's dance " 

We are both soaked wet , under the grey sky, dancing like two crazy kids. Mark nearly slips , on instinct I stop him from falling , pulling his body towards me.

My eyes lands on his wet hair, down to his forehead and to his wet pink lips. My hands goes around his thin waist and pull him even closer. His lips parts slightly and my mind goes blank. The sudden urge to kiss him becomes so strong that I lean in and plant my lips with his.

I can't think straight. All I can hear is the soft pitter patter of rain and enjoy the tase of sweet lips. Only when Mark let out a small moan do I realize , I have crossed my limits.

I run away from there as fast as my legs can support , leaving  confused , puzzled and shocked Mark alone.

 I ed up, I ed up real bad. What will I do now ? What will I say to Mark ? Should I leave this care centre and never return back ? But that's not what I want. I am confused , really confused right now.

" Damn you Jackson Wang ! " 

I curse myself tugging harsly on my hair. I  get changed and throw my body on the bed. The silence of the room is very uncomfortable. This suffocating feeling won't go away. 

" Why did I kiss Mark ? " I question myself. It is because I like him ? But how can you like a boy in just two days ? Is it because I find him attractive , no that's not the reason. Or is it because I love , NO I shake my head. That thought is just ........... ridiculous.

The rain is still dripping down , creating unrhythmic sound across the window pane. I glance out and try to distract my mind on other things. 

Tomorrow is going to be a hard day.

**************

I wake up with loud knock on the door. I try to ignore it and take much needed rest but it gets louder and louder each passing second.

" Come in, the door is open " 

My voice comes out raspy and sleep laced.

I am beyond surprised to see Joey standing infront of me. His eyes me first and opens his  little mouth.

" Do you realize what time is it now ?? Why aren't you with Mark ?He is worried. He wants to see you. "

I groggily wake up and dress myself. Glancing up at the watch , I realize it is afternoon already. Joey is still waiting for me patiently . After finishing with my morning routine , I follow him to Mark's room.

" Jackson ! " 

Mark beams as soon as he sees me. " Why are you so late today ? " 

" I overslept " I reply simply wondering if Mark have forgot about that kiss accident.

" Earth to Jackson " 

I snap back to reality when Mark pinches me hard.

" Was that really necessary ! " I glare at him rubbing my abused arm.

He innocently blinks at me and I fail to keep up with my angry face. A smile breaks through my lips.

" Look what I found under my bed " 

Mark holds out a book with black cover. I raise my eyebrows at him.

" What is this ? " 

" Novel. I want you to read it for me. " 

I take the book from his hand and read the title out aloud. " The princesses and her prince " 

" Really ? " 

Mark gives me a sleepish smile and pats the bed. I sit beside him and start reciting the story.

" Once upon a time , there was a princess living in  a far away kingdom. She lived with her stepmother and two sisters who hated her existance. They used to make her work all day long. She always....................................................................and they lived happily ever after. " 

By the time I am finished with the book, Mark is already asleep. His chest raises and falls slowly. I run my thumb over his cheek and move the stray hair out of his angelic face. He mumbles few  incoherent words and nuzzles his face on my hand. 

I choose to stay by his side. Peacefully sleeping Mark is a beautiful sight to see.

I lost the track of time , how long have I stayed here ? Mark squints his eyes against the bright light of room and scans the surrounding. His eyes meet with mine and I can sense him relax.

" How long have you been sitting here ? " 

" Few hours " 

" Oh my god. I am so sorry "  Mark bends his body in sitting position.

" No, it's okay " 

A groan escapes his lips.

" Are you alright ? " 

" Ya__it's __" Mark starts coughing violently and I panic. I rub his back but it doesn't seem to work.

" Dr. Choi " I run to his office immediately and drag him with me to room 107.

By now Mark was bleeding. Blood was escaping through his mouth and nose. Dr. Choi rushed to his side.

" Jackson , leave the room " 

I can't move my hands and limbs. My heart is beating so fast, I can practically feel it outside my chest. 

" Jackson. Leave ! " 

I glance at Mark's direction. His glassy eyes meet with mine and he gives me a weak smile.

I exit the room leaving behind Dr. Choi with Mark. For the first time , I feel fear tugging my heart. I pace back and forth , back and forth outside Mark's room. What if something happens to Mark ? this thought alone makes me sick to my stomach and I feel like throwing up. I know damn well I shouldn't be feeling this . Sooner or later he is going to die . No matter how much I try to deny it the truth is the truth. 

Few minutes later Dr. Choi exits the room.

" How's Mark ? "  I ask unable to hide my worry and concern for the sick boy.

" He's stable for now. But he can't walk around , he must be confined to bed. " 

" C__can I see him ? " 

" You can. Just make sure he takes enough rest " 

 I nod my head eagerly and twist the knob on the door. A lump forms on my throat at the site of Mark hooked on machine for life support. 

" Mark " I slowly and carefully approach him.

He smiles upon hearing my voice and my heart cracks even more. I take his hand on my own and squeeze it softly.

" Now , I can spend my whole time with my bed. When I was smaller , I used to wish, I don't ever have to leave my bed seems like it came true " 

Mark tries to joke but it makes my heart ache even more. 

" What's up with that sad face ? " 

He brings his pointer finger and thumb to corner of  my lips and stretches it into smile.

" Much better. " 

I hold onto his hand even tighter. 

" Jackson " he whispers my name.

" Hmm" 

" What was your dream when you were smaller ? " 

He looks me with his doe eyes.

"  I wanted to become a superhero " I suddenly recall my childhood days. " I wanted to save everyone from danger, I wanted to bring smile on everyone's face. " 

" I was so stupid back then. I didn't know what pain was , it was all happiness for me. I used to think I would always be on my mother's lap, my father would always protect me , I would cry and my parents would pamper me with love always. I used to think myself as a superhero but this hero couldn't even save his loved ones. " 

"  You are my superhero Jackson. You bring smile on my face. " 

His  brown irises gazes me with warmness.

" I am not , I can never be. I can't take away your pain , I can't even ........... save you " my voice dies down.

" But you are with me whenever I need you , you even agreed to be my friend. "

He choughs.

" Enough talking. Take rest now okay " 

He lays on the bed and I tuck him on the  blankets. Shortly after Joey walks inside. As soon as his eyes land on Mark worry and pain crosses his baby face.

" My brother is going to be healthy again , right ? " 

The little boy directs his question at me. Hope glisten in his eyes. I don't have strength to answer him. I can't give him fake hope neither can I break his belief. I stay silent.

" Mark says you are going to save him " 

I swallow the lump forming on my throat and smile at Joey. " Come here " 

He sits on my lap comfortably and I run my fingers through his hair. The room falls silent once again.

I return back to my dorm after the care takers took Joey with them. Closing my eyes , I fall into dreamless sleep.

**********

This time Dr. Choi is the one who wakes me up. 

" Jackson. Follow me  to room 107  fast " 

" What happened doctor ? " 

" I have no time to explain. " 

I put on my jacket hastily and rush with Dr. Choi.

We reach outside Mark's room. 

" Tell me what's wrong " 

" He's dying Jackson. He wants to see you in the last moment " 

My whole world starts spinning , I feel dizzy and my legs feel  weak , very weak. Taking support on the wall I open the door.

As usual Mark's smiling face greets me but this time I can't return it. I sit by his side.

" Jackson you came " his voice is raspy and weak.

" Y__Ya " 

He smiles at me again and I fight hard to hold back my tears.

" I........ need to ask you something. Why did y...you kiss me  back then ? " 

" Because I love you " 

I can't hide my feelings anymore, now that he is leaving my side.

" Do y......... you r....regret i..it  ? " 

I shake my head no " I don't regret it " 

" T...take m....my brother t..  to see ocean o......one day. " 

I nod.

" J........Jack...son " 

" Hmm " 

" I l.....love y...yo..." his breath comes out ragged and he weakly squeezes my hand.

One final rise and fall of his chest and he's gone. His hand falls limp on my own , warmth already gone from his body. My eyes lingers on his dead body. Mark is dead , Mark is gone , he is no more. Reality slaps me hard on the face.

I leave the room , drag my feet across the tiled foor and exit the care centre. The weather outside is gloomy as if it knows my pain , as if it is mourning over Mark's death. The raindrops starts falling from the grey clouds. This time I don't run for shelter. I stand under the clouds and caress the flowers like Mark used to do. I peck them one by one searching for the taste of his lips. The rain continues to fall. My heart clenches painfully and all the emotions I had bottled inside breaks free. My wall crumbles to pieces. Salty droplets of tear falls from my eyes, mixes with rain and disappears. I let out ugly sob. 

" Mark ..... Mark "  I hug myself crying out in agony and pain.

***************

I stand in front of the familiar door 107. Somewhere inside, my heart expects that I will find smiling Mark beyond this door. Like many times earlier , I push open it  but the only thing that greets me is emptiness.

The bed where Mark once used to sit is now empty but his things are left untouched. I sit on the bed inhaling the scent left behind by Mark. I lift the pillow up and there are drawings hidden secretly by him. I study them one by one. But a certain drawing makes my heart stop. It is of two stickman kissing under the rain. Tears prick up on corner of my eyes and I shut them close.

I feel someone rubbing my back soothingly. I lift my head up. Joey is here and he is smiling at me softly. I see Mark in him. He hugs me tight.

" I had promised Mark not to let you cry. Do you want him to be sad ? " 

I shake my head no.

He wipes my tears with his little hands and stretches my lips into smile.

" Infact I had promised Mark something too " I tried hard not to break down infront of Joey. " You want to see ocean? " 

" Yes " 

" I will take you there today. " 

" Really ??? "  His eyes lights up.

" Really. " 

I reassure him. 

After an hour we both head to see ocean. Joey runs around excitedly and I watch after him. We spend our whole afternoon there.

In the evening I return to my room with Mark's little brother. I tuck him to bed and making sure he's asleep, I lay on bed myself.

In the darkness I can hear a faint sound calling out my name.

" Jackson , Jackson "

I am suddenly hallucinating. I see Mark , he's smiling at me.

" Jackson "  

" Listen to your heartbeat " 

I place my hand on my chest. My heart is beating rapidly.

" I am alive in your heart " he says.

I feel my eyelids becoming heavier and heavier . With one last glance at Mark's fading figure , I close my eyes escaping into dreamland.

___________________**********_____________________

Can you hear my ugly sobbing ??? I don't know what I wrote above. 

Keep loving GOT7

Keep loving MARKSON !!!!!!!

Don't forget to leave comments.......😊

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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