The sun was shining into your room through the blinds. It was an early winter morning and the sun meant it was freezing outside. You rolled over to face away from the window and curl up into a tight ball, your arms wrapping around your knees.

“Oh, you’re not awake yet?” there was a deep voice whispering in your ear. His warm breath was on your neck. You open an eye and see Taewoon laying beside you, his eyes sparkling with mischief. You sit up in bed and look at him.

“How did you get in here?” you pull the blankets around you because it’s cold and you don’t want him to see you looking like a crazy mess. His eyes smile at you as he sits up as well. He stretches his arms and you notice that he’s in the same clothes that you saw him in last night. “Did you even go home?” you pry as you look him over. The boy looks nearly perfect aside from his bedhead, which, in reality, is quite cute.

“Um, I never really left,” he confessed as he ruffles the hair by his neck. “It started snowing really hard so I came back. I just happen to know where the spare key is hidden.” he looks up with his best attempt at puppy eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.” You bite your lip, trying not to smile.

“You better!” you stick your tongue out jokingly and take the top blanket and wrap it around yourself. “But really, I’m glad you didn’t go. It looks like it snowed pretty bad.” you pull back the blinds and squint at the landscape covered in white fluff. The sun made everything bright and shiny. “It looks like we’re going to be stuck inside for today.” Taewoon came behind you and wrapped his arms around your blanket wrapped shoulders. You can feel his nose against your neck as he nuzzles you gently.

“Looks like it. So what shall we do then?” he releases you and flops back onto the bed. You walk out of the room and take up a spot at the table with a magazine.

“You hungry?” you ask as you hear him follow you. He sits across from you and watches as you flip through the magazine.

“A little.” he admits and leans forward, trying to read upside down. You smile up at him and pull your blanket tighter around yourself.

“You owe me right?” Taewoon stands and stretches his arms again. His laugh is soft and is like a melody to your ears.

“Alright, I get it, I get it.” he smirks and plants a kiss on your forehead as he heads into your kitchen. You’re not quite sure if he has any cooking abilities, but he did offer, right? “Any requests?” he asks while he looks into the fridge to see what he has to work with.

“I think I have ingredients for pancakes.” you drag yourself to the bathroom and brush your hair and teeth and drop the blanket off in your bedroom. As soon as you feel acceptable, you go into the kitchen to see what he’s doing. There is a little worried feeling in the back of your mind that compels you to watch over him just in case something happens. By now, he’s found the ingredients he needs and is mixing up batter.

“I’m pretty comfortable in here,” he flashes a smirk when he notices you staring. “You don’t have to worry. I’ve cooked for Jiho before.” Whenever Taewoon mentions his brother, his eyes light up. He is definitely proud of him. You shrug and lean on the counter behind you.

“I’m not allowed to watch?” you make a pouting face and then stick your tongue out at him. He reciprocates with tapping his spatula on the tip of your nose, getting pancake batter on your nose and cheek. A yelp escapes your mouth as you wipe the mess off your face with your hand.

“Oppa!” you look at him slyly. He is pretending nothing happened, going about stirring the pancake mix. Looking over his shoulder, Taewoon’s playful laughter rang out as you smear the mix onto his cheek. “I’ll just give this back to you.” you giggle and rush to the sink before he can try and get to you again.

“Oh thanks.” he begins heating up a pan and abandons the bowl on the counter. In a few long strides, he reaches you and wraps his toned arms around your waist, pulling you close. He leans in and puts his pancakey cheek to yours. You groan as he rubs it on you. You can feel him smiling.

“Oppa!” you cry and try to put distance between the two of you but his arms are strong. The boy picks you up and swings you around before sitting you on the counter. You can’t help but erupt into a fit of laughter. He always had to get you back somehow. He doesn’t take losing very well at all.

“Be good and wait for your breakfast.” he commands. You grab a kitchen towel and wipe your cheek off.

“Fine, fine, you win.” you watch him pour pancake mix into the pan. It was rare that he did anything like this. He was usually tired from voice practice or dance practice so you would always cook. You watched his broad shoulders. He is wearing this shirt and jeans from last night but he still looked like the handsome idol you met nearly a year ago. He expertly flips the pancakes and hums to himself as he concentrates on pouring more batter into the pan. You grab plates and meet him at the stove. He puts a couple of pancakes on your plate. They’re slightly burnt, just the way you like them. It’s sweet of him to remember.

“You can start without me if you want.” Taewoon flashed a toothy grin. You share your head no, but your stomach growls quite audibly. You hand over the other empty plate and take you place at the table, staring at your steaming pancakes.

“I can wait.” you distract yourself by going to fetch the syrup, milk, and orange juice.

“Are you sure?” Taewoon bites into one of his pancakes. “They’re really good while they’re fresh and hot.” he says with a semi full mouth. He was always teasing you no matter what.

“Well, if you’re already eating…” you sit down, syrup bottle in hand, and begin pouring it all over the pancakes. “I’m going to start, too!”

A loud buzzing sound is heard from Taewoon’s pocket.

“Wake up, wake up, waaaaake up! Time for you to start your day!” his phone screams out in your voice. You blush and quickly busy yourself with putting food in your mouth. You can’t believe he still uses that as his alarm. It was an old voice mail you had left him which had been turned into his alarm ring. Taewoon lets the alarm finish before dismissing it. He sits down next to you and rolls up one of his pancakes and dips it into your syrup and stuffs it in his mouth. You stare at him with wide eyes.

“You can use a fork, you know.” you remind him gently, but he shakes his head and begins rolling up the next pancake even though his mouth is full. You can’t help but laugh. He really does look silly. He’s still got pancake mix on his cheek and he looks like a chipmunk storing food for the winter. You fold a napkin and dab at his cheek until it’s gone. A thank you escapes his lips when he’s finally done choking down his pancake. “Why are you eating so fast in the first place?”

“I want to spend as much time with you as possible.” He tucks a stray lock of hair behind your ear. You can feel your face burning up and you go back to eating pancakes.

As soon as you’re done, Taewoon takes care of the dishes. You try to help but he pushes you aside.

“Go get ready. We’re going somewhere.” the mischievous smirk had returned. His spontaneity was something you appreciated so much. He always had some kind of surprise planned.

“Are you sure we should leave the house? What if someone recognizes you?” you look skeptically at him, but he seems determined.

“Get ready already!” he flicks water at you and laughs. “Don’t think too much. Just be a good girl and get dressed.” you eventually give up and head to your room. You pull out the warmest clothing you own: a hooded sweater, long wool scarf, jeans, leg warmers, a large coat with a fur rimmed hood, and boots. As you’re bundling yourself up, there is a knock at the door. You let him in. He seems like he freshened up as well. The boy looks you over, a slight pink creeping across his cheeks.

“What’s wrong, Oppa?” you adjust your scarf to wrap around the bottom half of your face, leaving your eyes and cheek bones out. Taewoon just smiles and pinches what cheeks he can get.

“My girlfriend is so cute.” he turns away out of embarrassment. His face was turning pink. You giggle and step out of your room.

“Are you going to be ok?” you ask as he slips his puffy jacket on and puts his beanie on.

“Yes, let’s go.” he nearly shoves you out the door and you lock it. He leads you outside into the vast whiteness as he pulls on his gloves. No one has been outside so everything looks beautiful as it’s been untouched. You step out and sink into the snow. It’s up to your calf. Taewoon has less of a problem as he shuffles along. He is much taller than you and his legs much longer. You begin stepping into his path.

“Where are we going, Oppa?” you ask curiously, trying to concentrate on walking and balancing yourself. He keeps silent and continues walking. You can practically see him laughing at you as you clumsily make your way towards him. “Slow down!” you try to move faster but give up as you nearly topple over. “Oppa!” you squeal and he finally stops.

“We’re here!” he smiles. You can see his breath in little clouds when he speaks. Your heart skips a beat as you look around. It was the park. There wasn’t anything particularly special about this park except for the memories you both have here. This is where you first met. You rub your bare hands together in a feeble attempt to warm them up. Of course you would forgot to grab your gloves. Taewoon shakes his head knowingly and pulls off his right glove and puts it on your right hand. It was big, but much warmer. He grabs your left hand with his gloveless hand and puts it in his pocket. “How are you feeling now?” he squeezes your hand and you try to squeeze back but your hands are frozen.

“I’m a lot better, thanks to you.” You take your next few steps carefully, sticking close to Taewoon. He helps you as you get the hang of stepping into the fresh snow. You both walk in silence, listening to the snow crunch under your feet. You approach the swing and he barrels ahead to brush snow off of the swing for you. It’s cold, but you sit anyway and he pushes you gently. Your left hand misses his warmth as you grasp the cold chain of the swing as you feel the biting wind against your uncovered face.

“Do you remember the first thing you said to me?” he asked as he stepped back and let you swing by yourself. You barely pumped your legs because they were so cold.

“I said ‘Who are you looking for?’ I think.” you think back to when you two had met.

It was winter, but there was no snow. Taewoon was staring into space sitting on a bench and you decided to wave your hand in front of his face.

“I remember you had a dazed look so I wanted to make sure you were alright.” you scoff and eye the boy next to you.

“Did I ever tell you why I was spacing out?” he wiggles his eyebrows at you.

“Never.” the swing slowed down and was nearly still. “Why then?”

“I was trying to find a way to talk to you.” Your eyes grow wide and you can’t stop your smile even if you wanted to. He stands up and takes out his phone. It was vibrating. The look on his face becomes serious as he stows the phone back into his pocket. “I think it’s time we head back.” he holds out his bare hand yet again and you grab it, thankful that his hand is still quite warm because your hand is still icy.

“Is it important?” you ask casually as he tucks his hands into his jacket pockets again. Taewoon shakes his head and tugs you along. The rest of the way home is spent listening to the snow crunching under your feet. Once you get to your front steps, you can feel his grip on your hand tightening.

“I won’t be able to see you for a while.” he smiles sadly. “We’ll be going abroad. I will be away for about 3 months.” he finally confesses. You kind of had a feeling this would be the case. He never got full days off like this.

“I see. Well, go see if you can see your family before you go.” You don’t want to show him that you’re sad about him leaving.The last thing you want him to see is your smiling face not a sad blubbering girl.

“I’ll stop by to see Zico.” he pats your head and wraps his arms around your shoulders. His warm breath reaches your ear. “I’ll miss you.” as soon as he says that you can feel the tears start to well up and try to escape but you try your hardest not to let them fall. You start to sniffle and Taewoon automatically knows that you’re starting to get emotional.

“I’ll miss you, too, Oppa.” your voice cracks and so does your resolve. You hug him back and bury your face into his shoulder.

“Ah, don’t cry out here, your tears will freeze.” his smirk looks blurry through your watery vision as you try to peek at his face. “I’ll be back soon. I’ll bring you back something nice, ok?” A sob escapes your lips instead of what you wanted to say. You just can’t help it anymore. The dam burst and everything that you’ve been holding in flows out.

“I’m sorry I can’t help it. I shouldn’t be crying like this.” you sputter and sniffle your way through the sentence as Taewoon tries to wipe your tears away but new ones replace them almost immediately.

“I didn’t expect you to start crying.” he cups your face. “It’ll be ok. I’ll talk to you whenever I can. I’ll take lots of pictures to send to you.” it takes a little while, but you finally stop whimpering long enough to laugh a little. “And you can see what kind of food I’m eating. You like that, don’t you?” You nod enthusiastically. After he is convinced that you’re done shedding tears, he lets you go. You take off his glove and hand it back to him.

“You’ll need that. And this, too.” You begin unwinding your scarf. He tries to stop you, but you insist as you push his resisting hands aside and put the scarf around his neck. “Now go see Zico, will you? He’ll be jealous. I bet he misses Japan.” you pull your jacket hood on in an attempt to keep your neck warm. He shrugs.

“Probably. But I already miss you more than Zico could ever miss Japan.” he suddenly grabs your waist and swings you around. Before you know it, you’re back on the steps and Taewoon is wading through the snow again, phone up to his ear arguing with whoever was sent to pick him up.

“Oppa!” you wave at him and catch his attention. You make a heart with your arms touching the top of your head and he does a one sided heart back to you. You watch until his figure turns the corner. As you head back into your house, you strip off your winter gear and end up back in your bed. You roll over into the spot Taewoon was in last night. You pull the covers up around you and inhale deeply. His scent is all around you. You start sniffling again. He hasn’t even been gone 10 minutes are you’re already falling apart. Your house phone starts ringing, but you don’t bother to pick it up. You’re too busy feeling terribly lonely. You hear the answering machine begin recording. It’s Taewoon’s voice. He’s singing. His voice is a little raspy, but soothing. You close your eyes and calm down. You finally realize how worn out you are from crying. You can feel your consciousness start to fade. After the song finishes, he says,

“I know you’re there. I just want to tell you that I love you.”