Chapter 22
The Monster In My HeadJin Ae....... I....I like you"
The words he held onto, the words he repeated in his head more than million times finally found their owner
He took a deep breathe again
"Jin Ae...... I think ......... I think I'm in love with you"
The words which Jin Ae never imagined she could ever hear, the words which never actually meant anything to her suddenly seemed to strick a chord in her heart.
Something flipped.
But before she could understand what was happening, his deep voice brought her attention back to him.
"I know all of this is too sudden for you, I mean it's all too sudden for me too... it's like... It's like I knew I liked you but until now, until this moment I wasn't sure just how much. The late night talks we had, those silly quarrels we have almost everyday, the faces you make at me when you see me trying to showoff, these are the only things going on in my head. You are the only thing in my head right now and I want it to be that way. I want it to be you Jin Ae. You are all that matters to me and I can understand that all this might come off as a huge shock for you so don't give me your answer right now. Take your time, think about it. Am I just a friend to you or something more?"
Namjoon observed Jin Ae's face and it was crystal clear to him, she was confused, shocked and petrified and for a second there he regretted his decision to confess but at the same time he felt free, free from the burden of carrying those feelings which kept him trapped in a room filled with anxiety.
"Listen... I wouldn't mind. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you. Just take your time." - Namjoon gave a soft smile, he held on Jin Ae's hand for a second before getting up and walking out.
Walking under the moon light, Namjoon replayed each second of the past hour. He himself couldn't believe what he had done. He hadn't known from where he found the courage to let out his feelings. But it all felt good. The uncertainty the future held was exciting, it was a new feeling.
Jin Ae didn't move a single muscle for almost 5 minutes since Namjoon left. She was still trying to process what actually had happened.
'Did Namjoon just confess his love for me?'
Jin Ae was in shock cause she never thought she could ever hear the word 'love' cause she always saw herself as a freak, as a monster who could never get to do things, to feel things normal people usually do. All she ever felt was the embarrassment and the humiliated stares she used to get from people walking past her calling her a crazy madwoman.
"Nuna~" - the tug on her sleeve bought her attention back.
"Nuna~ where did that tall hyung go?" - Sunghyun asked, a little bit disappointment.
"Ahhh that hyung..that hyung went home." - Jin Ae replied suddenly remembering how nice, how warm the touch of his hand over hers felt.
"Why did he go home!? I wanted him to carry me again!" - Sunghyun whined.
"It's alright Sunghyun-ah, I'll ask him to meet you again someday. Don't worry he will come back." - Jin Ae reassured but the boy had already walked out of the ice parlor stomping his feet.
The rest of the way back to the children shelter, Jin Ae kept trying to make it up to Sunghyun who was throwing a fit about missing his "King ride". But as soon as Jin Ae dropped him back to the children's shelter he clinged onto her like his life depended on her.
"Nuna~~ Don't go~~" - the boy wailed, fighting the care taker who was pulling him away from Jin Ae - " You never come to visit me~" - the desperate cries of the boy reminded her so much of herself.
"Sunghyun-ah, Nuna will visit you often. Don't cry. Please" - Jin Ae tried consoling the kid holding back the tears threatening to fall.
"You always say that but are never here!" - the boy shouted before stopping all his movements - "I hate you!" - with those words said Sunghyun ran inside without bothering to glance back.
"Don't worry. He will be alright tomorrow." - the lady tried to provide solace to which Jin Ae just gave a weak nod.
"You should come here often. He really misses you. I know you have your own issue to deal with but try" - the lady added.
"I'll try" - Jin Ae replied before walking out.
The bus ride back home was filled with mixed emotions. Jin Ae had too many thoughts in her head to get a grip onto. It was like her life had suddenly taken a 180 degree turn. She, for once, felt like the main character of her life and not the souls she owed her life to. For once she felt happy to be her but that happiness was short lived as her haunting truth came to greet her back, She didn't want to start a relationship hiding this every important detail of herself. She knew too well that a relationship that hid things never lasted long enough, her parents were a perfect example of it. She had to be honest with Namjoon, she had to tell him her truth.
The honking of the bus by the abandoned bus stop brought back Jin Ae's attention back to reality.
"This is the last stop" - the driver commented, opening the door for her to g
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