what matters is the press of your lips against mine, taeyong/bona

i just really think that taeyong and bona would be a really perfect match but still, they don't have any legit interaction though there's a few times where they stood on the same stage closely. i'm still keeping hope for them to happen! my writing is getting rusty. this is my delusion about how the two would date in canon lmao

i.

when taeyong said he has never fallen in love before, it doesn’t entirely mean that he’s never been in love. he has been in several relationships, but none of them actually last that long. perhaps he’s dated three girls in the past—the last girl he dated could probably be the last one ever before he actually fully concentrated as a trainee, vowed to himself to not play around and start working hard on that day.

the girls he dated are nothing much different from each other; petite, pretty face and appearance-wise. he admitted at how he falls for looks first before getting know of them. anyone wasn’t much different with him; looks do come first before anything else, most of the time. right? but it wasn’t exactly love, if he were to clarify it. more like some kind of emotion play. the urge to experience something called “love” when the fact was he doesn’t exactly fall in love because all he did was to love their looks and he would blame his immaturity for that. all the girls in the past were experiments of his careless youth, sadly.

ii.

but with jiyeon, it’s different this time. she’s beautiful, in and out. perhaps, she’s one of the most beautiful girls he has ever met. they aren’t exactly dating—it is forbidden—but love is pretty much the only thing they have in between, so the relationship is still remain unnamed. taeyong learns to love her first from her looks. she was really stunning; her eyes especially when they mould into moons, it feels like he could see some kind of cosmos illusion as stars aligned with planets in the space that he only sees in his dreams. he could feel like floating aimlessly with just the hold of her gaze whenever she looks at him amidst the crowded human beings in a squashed backstage.

jiyeon is understanding. she understands him like no one else, despite of them knowing each other in just a short span – it’s the reason why he starts to love her from the inside. she loves him even when she knows how he was in the past. jiyeon doesn’t seem to care who he was in the past.

“i don’t care who you were in the past. god, i really don’t because what i know now, i’m in love with you. madly.”

and she straightaway presses her glossy lips on his slightly part ones, without much thought. she’s always like that; kissing him out of habit even when they’re still in their stage outfits as there’s only five minutes left before they need to get ready to perform. but it’s not like taeyong would complain about that. he just couldn’t afford to control himself from blushing furiously whenever she does that. she has always tasted the same; honey comb milkshake, cherry lip gloss and comfort. with a little bit of hope.

iii.

she really does understand why he’s being too careful at all time. too careful that anyone would classify him as paranoid. contrary to her, she understands his fear, and she would do anything to not let that fear eat him. probably, anything even if in the middle of the moment, it could hurt her feelings. like how he needs to completely ignore her when they’re in music awards, curious eyes all on them. he wasn’t even trying to look at her when she’s performing on stage.

“don’t feel sorry. don’t be. i know you don’t want to get hurt. it’s okay. i don’t want you to get hurt too, because it’s going to hurt me more.”

she beams widely, sincerity painted across her glimmering eyes. he doesn’t want to be a selfish coward, but listening to her wistful words with the smile she’s giving, he’s glad that she completely understands what he’s feeling. taeyong feels like he’s truly in love, for the first time.

iv.

he feels bad sometimes when he makes her feel like she’s forced to understand him. he’s still afraid to hold her hand first without having him stuck in paranoia for no reason, even when they’re alone. it’s always her doing the first moves. but never once she complained about it. she's too nice for him.

“taeyong, it doesn’t matter if i’m the one who keeps making the first moves. because i want to. i don’t care if i’m the one who starts anything first. that’s because i love you more than you love me. i want to love you more and more. i choose what i want and i want you. no one else.”

at that moment with their hands interlocked tightly in an inseparable hold under the wishing stars of the blue night, taeyong believes in love. not just by the name, but entirely what love is all about. jiyeon is love, and nothing else matters than that.

v.

he learns to not let his fear control him this time when he finally has the courage to gaze into her eyes of dark brown shade, where he sees his present; without any sign of his past. he sees the reflection of himself ever so clearly and his lips smile as he places one hand against her right cheek before gently it. she tastes a lot different than her usual favorite honey comb milkshake or cherry lip gloss when he leans his lips on hers. he could trace vanilla strawberry smoothie and watermelon lipbalm instead. yet, she tastes like home, not quite but still enough to make him realize how lucky he is.

and lee taeyong vows to only set his heart for her. to stay beating for his one and only jiyeon. jiyeon is his heart.