Chen

“Iseul is drunk again. Can you come pick her up?”

Chanyeol groaned. He had decided not to answer the phone when he saw the number. It belonged to the pretty bartender from the bar they went to for drinks after work. When he’d exchanged numbers with Jieun, Chanyeol had been hoping to get into bed with her. He hadn’t planned for her to call him whenever one of his friends got drunk.

“I’m still at work,” Chanyeol replied, tucking his phone between his shoulder and ear so that he could continue typing on his laptop. He had a court hearing first thing in the morning and he needed to prepare for it. It was a high-profile case. “Can you call Baekhyun to pick her up, instead?”

“I tried. He’s not answering,” Jieun replied.

“Just put her in a cab, she’ll be fine. I’ll check on her later-“

 The bartender let out a small sigh. “Chanyeol, it’s bad. She was laughing and enjoying herself a few minutes ago. Then she suddenly started sobbing, and now she’s a complete mess. I can’t put her in a cab alone.”

What am I supposed to do with you, Iseul? Chanyeol wondered, annoyed. He told Jieun he would handle it, and then hung up the phone. Chanyeol leaned back in his seat and groaned, looking at the clock that hung on his office wall. It was almost 11 pm. He had a hearing at 9 am and his files weren’t even in order yet. He was going to be here all night, he didn’t have time to go pick up a drunk Iseul from the bar. Why did she even have to go drinking alone on a weeknight anyway? Didn’t she have any sense of responsibility? Was she the only one with problems in her life?

You deserve this, Iseul, Chanyeol thought to himself silently. I don’t care if you hate me for this later, you brought this on yourself.

He opened his recent contacts and quickly called a number. It was two rings before a voice answered clearly.

“Hello?”

“Oh, Chen. Listen, I need your help. It’s Iseul…”

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Iseul had planned to have a single beer and then go straight home.

She sat down on a barstool, dropping the pile of files in her arms and her black suit jacket on the empty barstool beside her. It felt weird. She’d never been here alone before. There were always other people with her. This was the bar that she and her colleagues regularly came to after work, where they sat and had a couple of refreshing drinks after a long day of arguing cases in court.

Iseul ordered a beer and then pulled out her cellphone. She texted the first number that she saw on the list; it happened to be Baekhyun’s.

Baekhyunnie! Come out for a drink! Iseul typed quickly and sent it.

Baekhyun’s response came about a minute later. Can’t! I’ve got a hot date with the girl from Accounting tonight. Answer quickly- pink flowers or red?

Iseul frowned. That’s right. Baekhyun finally convinced the hot girl from accounting to go out with him after spending weeks following her around like a puppy. Pink, she typed out in response and then moved further down her contact list. Chanyeol was next. He didn’t have a girlfriend, so he might just turn up. Iseul sent him a message quickly.

Chanyeol-ah! How about a beer?

His reply took a little longer than Baekhyun’s, but it was equally disappointing.

Got a high-profile hearing tomorrow morning. Can’t afford to drink. Sorry.   

Iseul bit her lip and switched off her phone. She didn’t want to scroll further down her contact list, because she knew whose name would come right after Chanyeol’s. She couldn’t text Chen. Her beer arrived, and as Iseul took a long sip of it, she wondered what Chen was doing at that moment. Was he packing his stuff? Maybe visiting his parents? Chen had mentioned the last time they met that he had a lot of visa formalities and other things to deal with before he left for China. He must be dealing with those.

“Oh, unnie! You’re here alone tonight?” the bartender asked cheerfully, coming up to her. Iseul forced a smile. They were all friendly with Jieun, mainly because Chanyeol kept hitting on her whenever they came to the bar. She always laughed him off casually. “Where are the others?”

“Baekhyun has a date,” Iseul explained slowly. “And Chanyeol’s working late at the office.”

“How about Chen?”

Iseul bit her lip. It was painful to even hear Chen’s name. She decided that she hated the sound of it. It was such a stupid name. Chen, why couldn’t he just go by his real name, Jongdae? Did he have to show off that he had worked in China? So pretentious. It was just as well that he was going back there. He didn’t need to be here. Who wanted him, anyway? Certainly not Iseul.

“I don’t know where Chen is,” Iseul replied coldly.

“I heard he’s leaving because he got transferred back to China,” Jieun said casually, not noticing the way Iseul’s lips were pressed together tightly. “It’s a pity, right? I’ve gotten so used to seeing him come here with the rest of you. I almost forgot that he wasn’t always here.”

Iseul nodded quietly. She could still remember the first time she met Chen, that particularly uneventful day at the office about a year or so ago.

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“Yah! Jung Iseul! Are you coming or not?” Baekhyun demanded. His was standing in the doorway to her office, frowning at her. Iseul was surrounded by large files on her desk, and her glasses were perched on her nose as she typed furiously. Her messy bun had come loose, and she blinked up at Baekhyun blankly.

“What?” she said distractedly.

“It’s nine-thirty. You can finish tomorrow. We’re getting drinks, remember?”

Iseul sighed and nodded, quickly saving her work on her laptop. “I’m coming.”

Iseul, Chanyeol and Baekhyun had all joined the firm around the same time last year. Feeling a little lost in the large corporate office and the strictly formal environment, they’d quickly bonded over drinks and complaints about their boss. Since then, it was a habit for the three of them to get drinks together at least two or three times a week after work. Baekhyun and Chanyeol were both loud, funny and carefree people and Iseul enjoyed their company after a long day.

“How’s the case going?” Baekhyun asked lightly, as Iseul gathered her things and followed him out of her office. “I heard one of the interns complaining about you during lunch.”

“Don’t even talk to me about the interns,” Iseul snapped. “They’re so incompetent, I think I might just murder one of them some day. Tell me something. If I push them off the top floor, then I can make it look like a suicide, right?”

Baekhyun chuckled. “Sure. You kill the interns. I’ll kill the boss.”

“That bad?”

“Awful. I stood in his office for about 45 minutes today while he yelled at me.”

“Yeesh.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun added, as they reached the fancy elevator and he pressed the button. “By the way, Chanyeol invited the new guy out to have drinks with us. Have you met him? His name is Chen. He specializes in mediation.”

“The one from China?” Iseul wondered. She remembered seeing Chen around the office earlier that day. He seemed like an extremely polite person and his smile was a little too wide for his face. Chen looked like a people-pleaser and Iseul had written him off as a -up almost instantly.

“He’s Korean, he just transferred from the Beijing office. He graduated from Seoul University.”

Iseul made a face. “Guys from elite universities always think they’re above us.”

Baekhyun shrugged. They reached the ground floor and stepped out towards the large, fancy glass doors that formed the exit to the office. Chanyeol was standing there along with Chen, the two of them talking as they waited. Iseul blinked at Chen calmly. There was nothing particularly amazing about him. Iseul briefly appreciated the way Chen’s shoulders looked in his crisp white shirt, and the black blazer he’d slung over one shoulder coolly after removing it.

Okay. So he was kind of hot on closer examination.

“Yah! What took you so long?” Chanyeol demanded, as soon as he spotted them. He waved eagerly. “Hurry up, I want to get there before my favorite bartender’s shift ends! I’ll get her number today, just wait and see.”

Iseul raised an eyebrow. “Do you even know her name?”

“No. They don’t wear nametags at that bar. But I’ll ask her today! I just need some liquid courage.”

She rolled her eyes. Chen was looking straight at her, and they made eye contact briefly. His expression brightened a little bit and his mouth turned into a wide smile that stretched across his face. Chen dropped into a polite bow and held his hand out for her to shake. “Ah- I don’t think we’ve met before. I just started a few days ago, my name’s Chen-“

“Yah, don’t be so formal!” Baekhyun said with a laugh, clapping Chen on the back. “We’re not at work anymore. Chen, this is Iseul. She’s mostly fun but she hates interns, gets really snappy when she’s tired, and waves her arms around when she’s drunk, so don’t stand within hitting range.”

Chen laughed awkwardly. “Ah-really? It’s nice to meet you, Iseul-ssi.”

Iseul smiled at him lightly. “It’s nice to meet you too, Chen-ssi.” She turned and glanced at the others. “Come on, let’s go. I’ll buy you guys one drink for every intern that’s gotten on my nerves today. Nobody’s going home sober.”

Chanyeol grinned. “Awesome!”

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“It’s honestly such a pity he’s leaving,” the bartender mused, resting her chin on her hand thoughtfully. “Chen was so handsome and gentlemanly. I remember the first time you guys brought him here, he looked really nervous and he barely drank anything. He was staring at you the whole time. Chanyeol and Baekhyun made a bet that he would ask you out by the end of that month.”

It happened sooner than that, Iseul thought quietly. She took a long swig of her beer and then forced a fake smile at Jieun. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah. I thought so too. He seemed to really like you. But you guys are just friends, right?”

Iseul nodded.

“It’s a pity he never asked you out. Baekhyun and Chanyeol really thought he would. I was surprised too. He definitely liked you and he wasn’t a shy person. I wonder why he never made a move.”

Iseul cradled her beer in her hands quietly.

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Iseul stood in the doorway of Chen’s office, her arms folded across her chest. She had walked over here to yell at him, but she froze in her tracks. Chen was at his desk, the sleeves of his white shirt rolled casually up to his elbows. He was absorbed in reading a file in front of him, while ran his fingers through his short hair absent-mindedly. Why was he so good-looking? Iseul briefly wondered what she would find if she grasped the ends of that dress shirt and ripped it open until all the buttons fell off.

Chen noticed movement and looked up at her. As he blinked at her, Iseul suddenly noticed how long his eyelashes were. His eyes widened as he registered her presence, and his lips curved up into a small smile. “Oh- Iseul-ssi! Sorry, I didn’t notice you there.”

Iseul cleared . “Uh, no, that’s fine-“

“Please, come in. Can I do something for you?” he asked kindly.

Iseul frowned. She’d been furious when she walked over here, but the sight of Chen’s sweet smile had calmed her down instantly. She forced herself to remember why she was angry. “Actually, I have a bone to pick with you,” she said firmly, walking into his office and shutting the door behind her. “I’ve been hearing stories about the way you’re treating the interns.”

Chen blinked. “The interns? Oh- I had a meeting today, that’s why I forgot to review Sanghyuk’s work. I apologized to him, I’ll give him his feedback by tomorrow morning. It was honestly a mistake.”

Iseul stared at him. “Review-what? Who’s Sanghyuk?”

“One of the interns? The tall one with high cheekbones?” Chen reminded her.

Iseul stared at him in disbelief. Chen had been here for barely two weeks and he already knew the interns’ names? She couldn’t remember the name of the intern that had been working here for the past two months! She folded her arms across her chest. “Chen-ssi. I don’t know how you did things back in China, but over here, we treat our interns like .”

Chen laughed, amused. “What?”

“It’s a rite of passage. I spent my internship doing the same. That’s how it works. You don’t buy them coffee like you apparently did this morning. They’re supposed to buy YOU coffee. You stick them with the difficult jobs and give them strict deadlines so that they toughen up a little.”  

“Really? That’s why you let Eunji go home early on her birthday?” he challenged.

Iseul looked horrified. “I did not let that incompetent female go home early on her birthday! She was messing up the documents I gave her, so I told her to get out of my sight and not show her face to me until the next day.”

Chen raised an eyebrow at her coolly, his mouth curving up into a small smile. “I get it.”

“Get what?” Iseul demanded.

“Nothing,” he replied simply. He rested his elbow on his desk and smiled. “No more buying the interns coffee. Memo received and noted.”

Iseul cleared . “Okay. Well, I’ll leave you to your work, then-“

“Can I buy you coffee instead?” he asked, a playful smile on his face.

Iseul blinked at him, confused. “I mean- obviously, I’m not going to stop you from buying coffee for other employees in the office, so you can do whatever you want, but-“

Chen shook his head, embarrassed that she had misunderstood. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and cleared his throat. “Uh, that’s actually not what I meant. I was wondering if you’d like to have coffee with me sometime. Or, um, if I’m not being too bold, maybe you would let me take you out to dinner?” 

“Like a date?” she asked sharply.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he said hurriedly, looking flustered. “I just-“

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable,” Iseul reassured him. She could feel her cheeks heating up a little. She cleared and tried to think about it rationally. Chen was handsome and sweet, certainly, but they worked together and he had even become close with Baekhyun and Chanyeol. “I just… don’t think it’s a good idea considering we work together. Also, I don’t really have the time or inclination to date at the moment.”

 Chen blinked and nodded. “Of course. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, it’s okay-“

“Can we forget it happened?” he asked nervously. “You, Baekhyun and Chanyeol are the only people that have really welcomed me here and I would hate to think that I embarrassed myself in front of any of you. I feel kind of stupid now.”

Iseul felt bad for him, and she gave him a warm smile. “No need for that. I won’t even tell them. You’re still coming for drinks with us after work, right?”

Chen gave her a relieved smile. “Yeah, if I can finish this and manage to review Sanghyuk’s work-“

“What did I just say about the interns?”

“Okay, okay. I guess Sanghyuk can wait until tomorrow,” Chen said with a grin. “Count me in for drinks.”

“That’s the spirit.”

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Iseul hadn’t thought much of it then. Politely turning down men who showed interest in her had become such a reflex that she didn’t even think before she did it. Throughout college, Iseul had been determined to stay away from the messy relationships and heartbreak that her friends had gone through, in favor of her studies and her career.

Friends give you support, Iseul had always believed. But dating takes more away from you emotionally, than it gives. It’s not worth it.

“Another beer?” the bartender asked lightly, pointing towards Iseul’s empty glass. Iseul nodded briefly, before shaking her head.

“Actually… no. Get me something a little stronger.”

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“-that ist, elitist, pompous pig,” Iseul cursed angrily. Chanyeol and Baekhyun ignored her, pouring out drinks for themselves. Iseul was always worked up on days that she had been in Justice Kang’s courtroom. Kang was a balding, middle-aged pig who flaunted multiple gold rings on his fingers and thought that female lawyers were an abomination. “Do you know what he said to me today when I was asking for time to make further submissions? Do you?”

Chen gave her a small smile. “What did he say?”

“He said women are never really done talking anyway, and that the court had no patience for my meaningless chatter,” she snapped. Her fists tightened angrily. “I swear to God, the next time I see that miserable excuse for a judge, I’ll grab the nearest object and murder him with it.”

“You strangle him with his tie,” Chen suggested. “Imagine watching him choke to death with his own precious Cravalli.”  

“It’s not even a real Cravalli, it’s a cheap knock-off!” Iseul pointed out.

Chen grinned at her and nodded, watching as Iseul snatched the bottle from Baekhyun and poured herself another drink. He pursed his lips together and slowly reached out to take the bottle away from her. She had had quite a bit; her face was flushed red. “I think you should slow down. You have to go see Justice Kang again in the morning, do you really want to be hung over for that?”

“Hung over or not; what does it matter? He won’t listen to a word of my arguments anyway,” Iseul grumbled, reaching out to take the bottle back. She opened and closed her fist in mid-air with a pout. “Chen! Give it back to me, please!” she whined.

“Yeah, Chen, let her drink,” Baekhyun said with a cheeky grin. “Just because you only take a few sips doesn’t mean that Iseul can’t get smashed, right? You’ll drive her safely home and tuck her into bed anyway.”

Iseul glared at Baekhyun. “He doesn’t tuck me into bed. And he drives all of us home because he’s always sober.”

“Haven’t you ever wondered why he’s always sober?” Baekhyun pressed with a grin.

Chen looked embarrassed. “Yah, Byun Baekhyun, shut up. Why are you doing this to me?” he whined. Iseul was starting to look curious and Chen was afraid that Baekhyun would reveal his secret. He gave Baekhyun a pleading look, and shook his head rapidly.

Iseul raised an eyebrow and turned to Chen. “What? You told us already. Didn’t you say something about your family having a history of liver failure so the doctor asked you to restrict your alcohol intake if you wanted to maintain your health? It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. My family has a history of diabetes. I’m so scared, I don’t even put sugar in my coffee anymore.”

Chanyeol roared with laughter. “Yeah. Liver failure! Sure!”

“Why do I feel like the three of you know something I don’t?” Iseul demanded.  

“Because the three of us came out for drinks without you last week,” Baekhyun said with a big smile. “When you were working late. And our little Chennie here got wasted and told us a lot of things that he probably didn’t want us to know.”

“Like what?” Iseul demanded, interested.

“Sorry, Iseul. It’s bro code. I can’t tell you because you’re a girl. My lips are sealed,” Baekhyun said, making an exaggerated miming of zipping his lips shut and then collapsing into drunken giggles. Chanyeol was laughing as well and Iseul shot them both dirty looks.

“You pigs. You’re no better than that Justice Kang.”    

“I’m much better looking than that old fart,” Baekhyun protested.

Iseul rolled her eyes and took another drink. Chen was sitting with a slightly red face and he was silent. Raising an eyebrow, Iseul scooted her chair back and stood up. “I’m going to the bathroom,” she said. Chen was the only one who gave her a nod; Chanyeol and Baekhyun were too busy arguing over how many more drinks they should order.

Iseul stood up and then headed towards the bar. She made eye contact with the female bartender that Chanyeol was always flirting with and stopped to talk to her. “Hey; did these guys come in here without me last week?” Iseul asked her casually.

The bartender smiled and nodded. “Oh yeah; they did. They seemed to be having a lot of fun. Chen got drunk too, even though he usually keeps himself sober.”

“Did they talk about me?”

The bartender looked thoughtful and then her eyes widened. “Oh yeah! Chen was talking about why he never drinks when you’re around. He said that he usually can’t control what he says when he’s drunk and he has a tendency to hit on women. He said he was afraid he might come on to you and make you uncomfortable, so he tries to stay sober.”

Iseul blinked. “Seriously?”

The bartender nodded and laughed. “It’s kind of funny, right? But weirdly sweet. You should date him!”

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“Have you ever,” Iseul asked quietly, clutching her drink. “Taken something so completely for granted as part of your daily life, that you didn’t realize how much you needed it? You never thought about it when you had it but now that it’s gone, you can’t function anymore.”

Jieun gave her a sympathetic look. “Like air?”

“Like air,” Iseul repeated quietly.

“You’re not… you’re not talking about Chen, are you?”

Iseul bit her lip, her head drooping forward and hair falling in her face. She was getting more and more drunk by the minute, and she let out a small sniffle. “Today in court, that ist pig Justice Kang came in wearing this complete Rolex knock-off,” she said with a dry chuckle. “I went up to the bench to hand him some papers and I even saw the price tag still hanging off. And the moment I saw it, I thought- waah, I have to tell Chen about this later, we’ll laugh about it so much.”

“Ah.”

“And then I remembered,” Iseul mumbled, sniffling again. “That he’s leaving for China tomorrow and I’ll never get to sit and drink with him and trade stories about Justice Kang, or argue about the useless interns, or make bets on how badly Baekhyun’s going to get rejected by the receptionists.”

The bartender reached out and squeezed Iseul’s hands comfortingly. “You can find someone else to talk to. I’d love to hear about this ist judge and whatever else happens during your day. And there’s always Baekhyun and Chanyeol-“

“I don’t want any of them. I want Chen.”

“Oh…”

“I want to hear his laugh. I want to see the way he whines and makes a pouty face whenever I playfully hit him. Even when he’s not smiling, the corner of his lips are still turned up so it seems like he is,” Iseul whispered. Her hands were trembling and her voice shook. “I want him to come and silently replace my alcohol with soda when he knows I’ve had too much to drink and I have work in the morning. I want him to sit in front of me and give me that soft, caring look that makes me feel all fuzzy inside.”

“Why didn’t you tell him any of this?” Jieun asked quietly.

“Because I took him for granted,” Iseul mumbled. Her words were starting to slur and she could feel tears building up in her eyes. She hated this. She hated that she was crying over him. “I thought he would be there and do those things forever, but then-then-“

“He suddenly told you he was going back to China.”

Iseul blinked her tears back and choked. “The worst part is, I knew. Chen told us from the start that his staying in Korea was temporary. He only came here until a particular project was finished and he planned to go back to China at the first opportunity. But I… I got so caught up in him that I forgot.”

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“What do you think?” the female intern whispered nervously. “Do you think he’ll like it? I heard him saying that he likes chocolates. Would it be too weird if I asked to keep in touch with him? As in, like a sunbae of course-“

Iseul rolled her eyes as she passed by the desk the interns sat at. She spotted a neatly wrapped box of chocolates being hastily shoved under the table and frowned. “Valentine’s Day in the middle of November? This isn’t high school, we don’t encourage office confessions. It’s unprofessional,” she drawled, disapprovingly.  

The female intern straightened up. “I-I wasn’t confessing. I just wanted to give Chen-sunbaenim something since it’s his last week here and he’s been really kind and supportive to all of us.”

Iseul blinked. “His last week here?” she repeated.

The female intern nodded, still looking nervous at having been caught with the chocolates. She stowed them further under the table and sat up. “Y-yeah. He told us today that he wouldn’t be able to follow through with our research because he wouldn’t be in office from next week. He’s transferring back to China.”

Iseul froze. Transferring back to China? How had she not heard anything about this? How could he not say anything and just leave? Feeling a burst of anger, she turned around and walked away. Her heels clacked loudly on the office floor as she strode straight towards Chen’s office and knocked on the door loudly. His pleasant ‘come in’ sounded and Iseul stepped inside.

Chen looked up and smiled at her. “Oh, Iseul! I was going to come find you. Can you help me review some documents? It’s to do with franchising agreements and to be honest, it’s my first time dealing with them, so I’m worried I might have missed something.”

Iseul suddenly felt her resolve falter, the way it always did when she saw Chen’s cheerful smile. Who was she to get angry at him? His girlfriend? Certainly not. A friend? Maybe. To be honest, he was more of a colleague than anything else. Did Iseul have any right to throw a fit because he didn’t tell her he was leaving? Why did she care? People transferred out of the office all the time. If she got mad at him now, she would look like the stupid one.

Chen blinked at her, concerned. “Iseul? Are you okay?”

Iseul cleared . “Fine,” she managed to say.

“You look kind of disturbed. Is something wrong? Why did you come to my office in the first place?” Chen wondered. He stood up, surprised at the slightly blank expression on her face. Iseul quickly blinked and forced a smile.

“Nothing. I wanted to warn you that one of the interns seems to have a crush on you. I saw her hiding a box of chocolates with your name on it,” she said.

“Oh-really?” Chen asked, a slightly cheeky grin on his face.

“Don’t look so happy,” Iseul snapped, as she held her hand out to him. “Give me those franchise agreements then, I’ll look at them and give them back tomorrow.”

He handed her a large file. “Thanks a lot. I’ll see you after work? Dinner is on Baekhyun because he won the case for that big electronics company.”

Iseul forced a  smile. “Sounds great.”  

She stepped out of his office and closed the door behind her, before taking a long, deep breath. That’s right. She was nobody. Just a colleague he sometimes went out for drinks with. It shouldn’t matter to her if Chen went back to China or not.

But it did. And the fact that he hadn’t said a word about it, hurt even more.

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“Did Chen… tell you guys that he’s leaving?” Iseul asked quietly.

Baekhyun glanced up from the sandwich he was stuffing in his mouth. They were sitting in the office cafeteria and having lunch together. Chen often joined them, but he was in a lunch meeting with some clients. Baekhyun picked up a tissue and wiped mustard off his mouth. “Sure. He told us a couple days ago.”

“Where was I?”

“You were right there,” Chanyeol replied. “But now I think about it, you were already pretty drunk. When he mentioned China, you cut him off and started talking about how you were craving dumplings and whether the Chinese takeout down the road would still be open.”

. Iseul remembered that.

“Oh,” she said quietly.

“Yeah. Frankly, he looked a little hurt after that. He probably thought you didn’t care.”

“I don’t care,” Iseul muttered, playing with her fork. “I mean… we knew he was leaving anyway, he was only here temporarily, right? It’s no big deal. People transfer to and from the Beijing office all the time.”

Baekhyun and Chanyeol gave each other knowing looks. “If you say so.”

Iseul glanced down at her food and suddenly realized that she had lost her appetite. She put her fork down and stood up, trying to ignore the churning in her stomach. She couldn’t sit there anymore. “I just remembered that I have to file some documents in court before 3 pm,” she said vaguely.

“You’re not eating? Can I have the rest of your lunch?”

Iseul pushed it towards Chanyeol wordlessly and left.

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Chen entered Iseul’s office cheerfully later that day, carrying a small plastic box of food. Iseul felt her stomach twist as soon as she saw him. He was wearing a light blue shirt, with his sleeves rolled up again and his lips were twisted up into his usual smile.

“Hey! Are you busy?” he asked cheerfully.

Iseul forced her gaze back to her laptop. She couldn’t look at him. Her stomach was twisting and she felt like she might be sick. Avoiding his gaze, she glanced blankly at the letters on her laptop screen. “I have a few minutes,” she said dismissively.

Chen nodded and put the box down on her table before settling into the seat opposite her desk. Iseul still wasn’t looking at him, and he cleared his throat uncomfortably. “My lunch meeting went great. The clients are damn rich, we went to a five-star restaurant. Chanyeol mentioned that you didn’t eat anything, so I brought you back a slice of carrot cake. Whipped cream and all.” 

Iseul clenched her fists and kept her gaze on the laptop. “Yeah? Thanks.”

There was a brief silence.

“Are you… coming for drinks tonight? I’m buying,” Chen said hopefully.

“I can’t,” Iseul said sharply, as she started to type something. She blinked at what she was typing and then deleted the entire sentence, realizing it didn’t make sense. Her head was spinning. “I, uh, I have to work late tonight. There’s a hearing tomorrow morning. You guys go ahead.”

Chen bit his lip, staring at her for a long moment. Iseul was still ignoring him and typing into her laptop. Taking a deep breath, he finally spoke quietly. “Today’s my last day here. I mean… I’m still in Korea until next week but I won’t be coming to work since I need to pack up and deal with some visa technicalities.”

Iseul could feel tears coming to her eyes. The laptop screen was starting to become blurry, but she blinked them away and hoped that Chen wouldn’t notice. She tried to keep her voice calm. “Oh, really? Good luck, then. You’ll be glad to go back to Beijing.”

“Is something wrong?” Chen blurted out finally.

“Why?”

“You’re acting cold.”

Iseul raised an eyebrow. “I’m not a very warm person, Chen-ssi. You can ask my interns.”

“I see,” he said, standing up slowly. He looked down at the slice of carrot cake that was still lying untouched on her desk and then up at the expressionless Iseul. Part of him wanted to say something more, but the icy expression on her face stopped him. “I’ll leave you to your work, then. Please try to make it for drinks tonight. I really want to treat you guys for taking care of me these past few months.”

Iseul merely nodded. She kept her gaze on the laptop screen until she heard Chen walk out of the office and the door clicked shut behind him.

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“Unnie! Iseul-unnie, please stop crying!” Jieun begged. Iseul had slid down from the barstool and was kneeling on the floor of the pub, letting out choked sobs. She didn’t usually cry when she was drunk, but once she started, the alcohol wouldn’t let her stop. kept involuntarily choking up and tears were streaming down her face.

Jieun wondered what to do. She had never seen Iseul like this. Iseul was usually a loud, cheerful drunk that waved her arms around wildly and enjoyed emphatically cursing about her boss and Justice Kang. But now she was sitting on the floor, covering her head with her arms and sobbing uncontrollably. Jieun tried to help her to her feet, but Iseul couldn’t balance herself enough to get up.

The door to the pub opened and Chen hurried in, slightly out-of-breath. He’d gotten a short call from Chanyeol saying that Iseul was alone at the pub and that she needed help. Chen had abandoned his packing-up of the apartment halfway, knocking over spare cardboard boxes in his rush to get to the pub. He spotted Iseul instantly, and ran over to her.

“What happened?” Chen demanded, rushing over to where the bartender was trying to coax Iseul onto her feet. Iseul was still sobbing and Chen froze for a moment, unsure what to do.

Jieun sighed and bit her lip. “I don’t know. She came here alone and she kept drinking and then she started crying and… well, she’s so drunk, I don’t think she can control the crying anymore.”

“Can you get her some water?” Chen asked quickly, kneeling down on the floor beside Iseul. He gently pushed her hair away from her face and then rubbed a hand comfortingly on her back. “Shh. You’re okay, Iseul-ah. Nothing’s wrong. Can you take a deep breath for me? Just breath for a bit. You need to calm down so the sobs will stop.”

Iseul nodded. Her shoulders shook slightly as she took a deep breath and tried to stop the sobs. Her tears had slowed down but her breathing was still shaky as she looked up at Chen. Her eyes were slightly wide and she hiccupped as she stared at him. “Chen?” she asked, slurred. “Shouldn’t you-shouldn’t you be leaving for China? F-for Beijing or Shanghai or wherever it is you’re going?“

“I was packing,” Chen replied calmly. He placed a hand on her flushed cheek and sighed. “Except Chanyeol called me so I came here to check on you. Why did you come here alone? You hate drinking alone.”  

“I didn’t have anybody,” she mumbled.

Chen sighed as Jieun returned with a glass of water. He handed it to her and helped her drink it slowly, before wrapping an arm around Iseul’s waist firmly and helping her to her feet. “Come on. Let’s get you home. You need to sober up a little and get some sleep.”

Iseul shook her head. “Don’t want to.”

“You have to. Are you coming? Or do I have to pick you up and carry you out of here? Don’t make me do that, I haven’t been working out lately. My muscles aren’t in good condition,” he joked lightly, watching Iseul’s unfocused eyes that were slowly drooping. There was clearly something wrong with her.

“You’re still handsome,” Iseul mumbled. She poked at his face clumsily. “You’re always handsome. Especially when you laugh.”

Chen laughed uncomfortably. Iseul probably had no idea what she was saying. He watched her for a few second longer, before tightening his grip around her waist and helping her stumble to the exit of the pub. He hailed a taxi quickly and helped Iseul get inside, before sitting next to her. He told the taxi driver Iseul’s address and then sat back.

“Are you okay?” Chen asked her quietly, after a few moments of sitting silently in the taxi. “Not feeling sick?”  

“Fine,” Iseul mumbled quietly.

“What happened to you today?” he wondered quietly. Why had Iseul chosen tonight of all nights to get herself drunk and collapse in tears? Chen couldn’t help but stare at her as she curled up in the taxi seat, and leaned her head against the opposite side window. She was still sniffling slightly from her sobbing fit and he reached out to squeeze her hand.

“Iseul-ah. What happened to you?”

“Nothing,” she whispered.

Chen let out a dry chuckle. “You had so much to drink and you’ve been crying your eyes out. I can’t imagine the headache you’re going to wake up with. You’ll regret this tomorrow.”

“I’ve never regretted anything in my life,” Iseul said firmly. Her head lolled against the window. It was quiet, and when she spoke again, her voice cracked.  “Until now. It’s so weird. I didn’t even think about it back then.”

“Think about what?”  

“That day you asked me out for coffee,” Iseul whispered. She let out a long, shaky breath. “I wish to God I had said yes. But why would I have? I was so used to turning guys down that I didn’t think about it. I couldn’t have known then that I would fall in love with you, could I?”  

“What?” Chen whispered.

Iseul blinked. “Or maybe things would have been worse. It might have been harder to let you go to China if you were my boyfriend. I think I would have completely lost my mind, then.”

“You acted like it didn’t matter to you,” Chen said quietly.

“How was I supposed to act?”

“Not the way you did!” Chen replied  angrily. He couldn’t believe that she was sitting here and saying this to him. After the cold treatment on his last day at work, and the way she had always kept him at a distance, how could she confess her love just before he left for another country? “You could have done anything! You could  have asked me not to go, you could have at least said I’ll miss you. But you didn’t. You didn’t even look at me properly. I felt pathetic.”

“I couldn’t,” Iseul whispered. “I was too afraid I’d start crying if I looked at you.”

“I thought you didn’t care. I was ashamed of myself for constantly pining after a woman who clearly didn’t give a about me.” Chen turned and looked at her, squeezing her hand tightly in the dark cab. “Iseul-ah, tell me honestly. Are you saying this because you’re drunk? Do you really have feelings for me?”

“You’re leaving for China.”

“Forget China-“

The taxi stopped suddenly, and the driver turned around to face them. They had reached Iseul’s house. Chen broke off, pulling out his wallet to pay the taxi driver quickly and then helping Iseul out of the cab. She was still extremely unsteady on her feet and she stumbled onto the sidewalk clumsily. Almost falling over, she gripped onto Chen’s arm tightly to steady herself.

“Careful,” he mumbled. “You’re always falling all over the place when you’re drunk.”

Iseul bit her lip. “Sorry,” she whispered.

“Don’t apologize-“

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I had feelings for you,” Iseul whispered. “I knew that you liked me too. That made it even scarier.”

Chen ran a hand over his face. He didn’t know what to do. He’d been hoping Iseul would return his feelings for so long, but she was drunk and he wasn’t sure if he should trust what she was saying. Either way, he needed to put her to bed. “Come on, let’s get you into bed. I have to go back home and finish my packing too,” he said quietly.

Iseul stared up at him with wide eyes, before wrapping her arms around him suddenly. Chen stumbled back from the sudden weight, but Iseul pressed her face into his shoulder. He could smell the alcohol and her flowery shampoo as she snuggled further into him. “Don’t go,” she mumbled against his shoulder. “I should have said it sooner, but I’m saying it now. Don’t go. I need you in my life.”

Chen bit his lip. “Iseul-ah…”

“Please,” Iseul whispered. Her grip around him tightened and she sniffled. “I know I’m a horrible person and a complete idiot, but I don’t want to lose you. Don’t go.”

Chen closed his eyes for a long moment and took a deep breath, before gently grabbing her hands and unwrapping them from around him. Iseul felt her heart break as Chen slowly stepped back. He started walking towards her apartment, pulling her inside.

Of course. What can he possibly say? I’m too late. Iseul held back tears as she slowly followed him up to her apartment. He entered her security code swiftly, and Iseul remembered the number of times he had brought her back here while she was drunk, the number of times Chen had taken care of her patiently. clenched and she followed him into the apartment quietly.

“Sit,” he told her firmly, pointing towards the dining table chair.

Iseul sat silently, her head bowed in shame. Was this what it felt like to get rejected? Had Chen felt this way when she turned him down before? Surely not. He hadn’t been in love with her then, the way she was with him now. This was too cruel. Iseul sat silently, holding back her tears as Chen went into the kitchen. The smell of coffee drifted out and Chen returned a few minutes later. His lips were pressed into a thin line as he set a cup of hot coffee in front of her.

“Drink up,” he said quietly, sitting opposite her.

Iseul picked up the cup with trembling hands and forced herself to drink it. It was disgustingly strong, but it helped her sober up. She forced herself to look up at Chen. He was sitting in the dining table chair, arms folded across his chest and staring resolutely at the wooden dining table. Iseul felt the shame from the rejection a few moments ago wash over her again.

“Is this revenge?” she wondered quietly.

Chen looked up at her sharply. “What?”

“Is this revenge for when I treated you coldly?” she asked with a dry chuckle. Her lower lip was trembling. “Because it feels like it. It hurts so much. I knew falling in love was a pain. This is why I wanted to stay away from it, because it drains your time, and energy, and makes you feel so miserable you can’t focus on anything else.” 

“That’s not falling in love,” Chen said calmly. “Heartbreak does those things.”

Iseul scoffed as she took another sip of her coffee. “Same thing.”

“It’s not. And I’m not taking revenge on you for anything. If I wanted to take revenge, I would have left you at that pub,” Chen replied firmly. “But I brought you back here and I want you to sober up quickly, so that we can talk about what you said to me earlier.”

Iseul made a face. “Do we have to? I’d rather not hear a rejection. I’d rather you just left for China and never talked to me again. We can pretend tonight never happened. Let’s just forget it.”

“Don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

“Are you sober yet?”

Iseul glared at him and set her coffee mug down sharply. Her voice rose in anger. “Yes, I’m sober, I drank this entire bloody mug of badly-made coffee. Do you want me to walk in a straight line to prove it to you? Why does it even matter to you whether I’m sober? Just go take your bloody flight to China already!”

“Should I? You were begging me not to go a couple of minutes ago.” He gave her a cheeky smile.

Iseul stared at him. “Oh my God, you’re making fun of me.”

“I’m not-“

“Just go to hell,” she snapped, standing up from the dining table sharply. Her chair made a loud screech across the floor, but Chen was faster than her. He quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her back so that she was facing him. Iseul’s eyes widened as she stared at him, flushing at their proximity. “What are you-“

“I wasn’t making fun of you, I was just testing whether you were really sober so I could do this.”

“Do what-“

Chen pressed his lips to hers, arms roughly grasping her waist. Iseul froze for a few moments, but she managed to relax, and her fingers fisted the sleeves of his shirt to balance herself. His lips were demanding and impatient and Iseul wondered how much pent-up energy Chen must have to treat her so roughly. Her knees felt weak and she shuddered as Chen kissed her hard. He pulled away for a moment and Iseul felt her head spin.

“Wow,” she mumbled vaguely.

Chen chuckled, pressing his forehead to hers. “Are you really sober?” he demanded breathlessly.

“Yes.”

He pulled her closer, his arms tightening around her as his head bent down to nuzzle the crook of her neck. “Do you have any idea,” he mumbled, pressing his lips to hotly. “How many times I’ve thought about holding you like this? How many times I’ve stood in the doorway of your office and wondered what would happen if I sat you on that desk and had my way with you?”

Iseul felt her cheeks flush red. “You know what I want to do?”

“What?”

“I want to rip that white dress shirt of yours open until all the buttons pop off,” she admitted.

Chen frowned and released her suddenly. His eyes were narrowed. “Okay, hold on. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. This is an expensive shirt. You can’t go around tearing people’s clothes.”

“Why not?”

“It’s just not a very nice thing to do!”

Iseul rolled her eyes. “Way to ruin the moment, Chen. I was trying to be y.”

“Then be y, why do you have to kill the mood by saying you’re going to rip my favorite shirt?” he whined.

Iseul stared at him for a long moment, before laughing. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Chen was chuckling as well. There was a brief silence and Iseul bit her lip, keeping her arms wrapped around his neck. She pressed her face into his chest and took a deep breath.

“Chen.”

“Hmmm.”

“Are you leaving for China tomorrow?”

He stiffened a little. “Hmm.”

“Will you stay here tonight?”

Chen looked down at her and pressed his lips to her forehead softly. “Of course.”

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When Iseul woke up, the bed was empty.

She panicked for a moment, her heartbeat thudding. Was he gone? Had he left for China without saying goodbye? She threw the covers off herself and hurried into the living room. It was deserted. She went into the kitchen, feeling her heart sink until she noticed a sticky note stuck on her fridge.

I had to leave to catch my flight. I tried waking you up, but you were sleeping so peacefully. I’ll call you once I land. Love you!

Also, I used your laptop.  All you have to do is click. I leave it up to you.

Iseul closed her eyes. He was gone, and she hadn’t even said goodbye. She blinked her tears back, clenching her fists. What was the use in crying now? She knew he was leaving.

Iseul noticed that her laptop was sitting open on the kitchen counter, the light still on. Iseul stepped towards it and swiped at the mouse. What had Chen been doing on her laptop so early in the morning? There were two tabs open. One of them was an online shopping website. She laughed as she saw that there was a white dress shirt placed in the Cart. It looked extremely similar to the one that she’d managed to rip open the previous night.

Did Chen want her to buy him a replacement? Unable to hold back a chuckle, Iseul clicked to confirm the order. She closed the tab, and then looked at the second one.

It was Chen's e-mail account. There was an e-mail sitting in the draft box, fully composed but unsent. It was addressed to their boss and Iseul paused. The subject of the e-mail stared her in the face.

Application for permanent transfer to Korea office.

The mouse hovered over the send button for a few moments, before Iseul clicked it firmly.

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A/N - Ahh, sorry about this! It's kind of clumsy, I didn't have the energy to edit it properly. I can't believe I wrote another one for Chen- I'm just not getting any inspiration for the other members. Let me know if you guys have any suggestions!