My dear dear subscribers,

My heart is aching, crying, deeply saddened and i am out of words..
I can not describe this feeling, I am trembling/shaking right now..
Kim jonghyun, the main character of this fanfiction, the greatest artist in the whole world just passed away.

My eyes hurts from crying.

He was an amazing artist, someone the lived for his music.
Someone with a heart made out of gold.
He will be missed in a big way.

I am so devastated knowing he commited suicide, knowing he was suffering THAT much to think that will be the only way out. It hurts.. so much.

i am not able to continue this fan fiction about him and key. it's just to painfull to write about him all being happy,  it's ...just impossible.

I was writing a new chapter, it is not finished yet and never will be. I just want to share this last story piece with you guys, supporting me all the way to chapter 6.  
Hope you will understand My decision.

Jonghyun, you've worked hard!

(Paralysed)

We managed to dodge our way through that small forest and eventually found our final stop, a small hostel. Arriving dishevelled, bloody,completely covered with mud, knackered, depressed and aching. Ah, but we have arrived anyway. That's the most important part.

All thanks to, moi, Jonghyun. It was a good thing that I knew how to navigate and how to read a god*mn map. 
That last thing saved our asses.

I was waiting for the moment kibum would thank me for saving us, that 'thank you Jjong, you are the best" moment but that's only a wishfull thinking. A sincere thank you, no wait, not even a small thanks will leave that guys lips, EVER.  He is the definition of Egoism, selfishness and complain. 

Pride, it's all about his 'precious' pride.

"EH?!"  He looked up at the small, old hostel infront of us and dropped his mouth. Disbelief widened his eyes.. "this -is-it? i came all the way through that ing forest for this ty old fart hostel?! is this a joke?  Miss Shin is joking right?!" He stared at me for a stunned moment, then laughed loudly to conceal his anger and disappointment.

Well, we actually didn't had to go all the way through that forest <- that was all because of me not knowing the way and getting us lost.  I kept my mouth shut since it would hurt MY pride.  Yeah, okay, poof, there, magic, i also have an impressive self-love and ego.

"looks like it"  i remarked casually, not daring to look him in the eyes.

Okay, this wasn't a 5 star hotel but, to me, it looked really cosy and clean.
Kibum was really mad about this. Such a DIVA! I grinned, well a little bit suffering wont hurt him though..

 "i'm not going in, it's old and filthy"  he stubbornly folded his arms and he looked at me with a frown.

I laughed and shrugged my shoulders "follow my lips key,- i-don't-even-care-anymore. I'm not going to beg you. If you don't want to come in, just fine! that's your problem not mine, so goodnight " i shouted at him and walked inside the hostel. 

-

"Finally, we were so worried. It's been 5 hours--  where have you guys been?" Onew ran straight to the front door but changed his mind and backed away.  "Ew key, you look gross. Stay away from me. You stink and look like sh*t"  

I turned around at the front door and smirked by the sight of kibum coming in. Well, well what a big surprise, I was convinced that he would stay outside. Why does onew care so much about key? hey! i was lost as well. The hell onew,  i am your friend not key!

Kibum mouthed a ' you'  to MY friend and held up his middle finger. Probably too tired and devastated to make a scene out of this.

"where is my room and my luggage? i need a hot shower right now and i want to die" he rubbed his temples, his voice full of misery. It sort of makes me feel sorry for him. Oh wait.. NOT!  He was the one starting a fight out of the blue and running away, falling into that mudpond. It's all his own fault, i'm so not feeling guilty about all this. 

Perhaps a little bit.

" Your room is upstairs, we are sharing one " Onew said, happily clapping his hands and way to excited about this. He looks like a child now. what's up with that onew? Suspicious. Since when are they friends?

"what? all of us? our whole class in one room? eew just. eew. can you imagine it? all those sweaty bodies in one room? all those breaths.. arg" He couldn't believe his own ears. I frowned by that thought but Onew shook his head and laughed.

"ahn, you are stupid right?  i mean the two of us and taemin but we have to share a bathroom with the first floor. There was only one room with a bathroom and Minho took it. He won every round of rock-paper- siccors" onew shrugged his shoulders.

"And... i share a room with minho.. right?" i asked hopefully, folding my hands together and started praying. He nodded and i smiled brightly. YES! My own bathroom. Thank you Minho, you are so my best friend.

"Please jjong, change rooms with me" Kibum sank down on his knees, holding my legs. The hell? i looked down in his pleading eyes. The corners of my mouth curled up into a big grin.

"Hmm what should i do?"  I pretended to think about it just to give him false hope, hope that filled the blonde's eyes. Of course i won't give in, certainly not after him beating the sh*t out of me.

"What about .. NO. you key" I shook his hands off my leg and held up my middle finger at him. It was my time to shine, i loved the feeling of having something that key really wanted. 

"KIM JONGHYUN!" A stern voice called to me, the shivers ran down my back. I looked up at Miss sekyung, walking down the old stairs of the hostel. "why are you showing your middle finger at kibum?--eh?!  Oh my god! Good god, what-what happend to you guys?"  She looked completely shocked.

Oh yeah, almost forgot about how dirty and bloody we are looking right now. I am feeling so badass right now,  real thug!

"this is the new fashion?"  I looked at her with innocent eyes, holding up my arms in guilt. She sighed, stressed out and placed her fingers against her temples, closing her eyes.

"why am i even doing this? okay? where have you guys been? it's been five hours! What took you so long? It took the rest of the class only an hour to get here" she was anything but happy about this whole situation. Can't really blame her though. Putting his whole situation aside, she kinda looked hot. That stern face, her hair slightly curled, a warm white sweater that emphasized her beautiful body... she's a godess right? 

"He got us lost, I found the way back" Key pointed at me while standing back up, snapping me out of my fantasy. My mouth dropped, excuse me? I-I GOT US LOST? okay, okay i got us lost but I -> ME was the one saving both our asses. What a liar!

"The hell key? i found the way back, liar" I snorted in disbelief. Key scoffed, rolled his eyes and layed a hand on his hip, acting all b*tchy.  I can hear that he's at it again.

"Okay-guys- don't fight about this. All you had to do was follow the signs, everything was clearly marked on the road,  Either way, i'm glad the both of you are okay now go to your room and clean yourselfs up. The rest of us are going out to the beach for the next assignment." 

Just follow the signs? i felt so dumb and stupid. 

--