Get those feels ;P

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“Hyung hurry, the light show is gonna start without us!” Taemin yells as he pulls Jonghyun with him down an icy sidewalk, nearing a public park.

 

This time of year is always full of activities springing around different areas of the city; fireworks, music shows, light displays, foods of all kinds and more, during this festive time, there isn’t a possibility of being bored around this time of year.

 

Tonight is no different, only this time Taemin mustered up the courage to ask Jonghyun out to accompany him to one of these special events- only as friends. The elder of course complied in half a heartbeat, following wherever the younger pulled him off to, wherever that may be.

 

Tonight’s the night, or so Taemin hopes- the night he’ll at least try and confess his feelings for his hyung. There have been instances in the past where he’s tried to fess up, but every time he speaks the elder’s name he goes numb.

 

“Taemin-ah what are you talking about, the light show doesn’t start for another hour” Jonghyun says, holding back a giggle at how obsessed Taemin is with stuff like this, always passionate about the little things.

 

“Yeah but I wanna get there early, then we can get good seats!” Taemin whines and he tugs harder on Jonghyun’s coat sleeve. They speed walk for a while and then Taemin speeds up, letting go of Jonghyun.

 

“Hey watch out, it’s dark, you’re gonna trip on something or slip on the ice” Jonghyun cries out “Come on Tae we’re not late, grab on and we’ll go together” Jonghyun asks, waving an elbow Taemin can’t see from behind him. Before Jonghyun can speak another plead he sees the maknae sliding on a thin sheet of sidewalk ice, falling and hitting his prominently on the cold surface.

 

“Ahhg” Taemin cries out as he hits the ground.

 

“Taemin are you okay?” Jonghyun asks in a fret, crouching down to meet Taemin’s sat form on the cold ground. Jonghyun brings a hand up to Taemin’s shoulder and he pats it gently, hopefully providing some comfort in a situation he can’t fix.

 

“Yeah, I guess” Taemin mopes with a pink face, once again embarrassing himself in front of his hyung.

 

“Here I’ll help you up” Jonghyun persists, walking in front of Taemin and pulling him up by his hands. When Taemin is on his feet again he’s just a little too close to Jonghyun and his breath stops for a moment, not used to being this close to him.

 

“Here let’s check it out” Jonghyun says, quickly moving to inspect Taemin’s behind.

 

“Hyung?” Taemin asks, wondering what business Jonghyun has with his , before he can say anything more he hiccups, hiccups at the feeling of his hyung patting down his . “What- what are you doing..?” Taemin asks shyly.

 

“There’s all these small ice pieces on your jeans, if you leave them they’ll melt and your will be soaked, and I don’t think you want to have a cold and wet during the light show” Jonghyun explains, lightly grazing the fabric with a hand to remove the tiny shards of melting ice. Taemin gulps but lets him proceed without protest. He hiccups again when Jonghyun pats his posterior a few times in accomplishment.

 

“Better?” Jonghyun asks, nearing Taemin’s side again. Taemin nods and they continue down the street for a few seconds before Jonghyun switches their places, fitting Taemin on the innerside of the sidewalk, and himself near the street. With that Taemin smiles, loving how his hyung always cares for him even without being told to.

 

Taemin worries though, is all the love and care that Jonghyun shows him really something more, or does he really only see him as a friend? This is what keeps him up at night, this keeps him up when he tosses in bed, thoughts racing at the thought of him and Jonghyun...together; after letting these endless thoughts invade his mind for hours on end, he decides to gaze at Jonghyun’s calmly sleeping form, a sight which brings not only happiness and tranquility to him, but also fear and worry.

 

“Taemin?” Sounds drain back into him and Taemin is pulled from his thoughts, realising they’re at the park, and somehow he went from walking with Jonghyun to clutching his arm tightly, all in the span of a few minutes.

 

“Oh..” Taemin mumbles trying to fight the frown on his face with a half smile. Jonghyun shakes his arm, meeting Taemin’s eyes. “Hmm?” Taemin hums, confused.

 

“Are you okay?” Jonghyun asks, emotion swimming in his voice. He looks Taemin up and down and worries once more.

 

“Yeah I’m fine, just a bit sore from before, you know?” Taemin says, hoping to not bring any more attention to his quickly surfacing feelings. Jonghyun nods and they continue down a path that leads to many lines of cement benches, all facing outwards onto a fountain with lights dimly playing, which will start up later.

 

“Let’s go find a seat” Jonghyun suggests, leading Taemin along. They stop at an empty space on the cement bench and sit, Taemin shivers when the cold cement meets his bruising behind and he hopes Jonghyun doesn’t notice because he really doesn’t know how much a person can blush before their face starts to bleed.

 

“Ah here” Jonghyun starts, pulling his scarf from his neck and folding it into a large rectangle.

 

“Ah hyung you don’t need to, I’m fine” Taemin protests.

 

“Don’t need to? Hey I’m cold too, here stand up” Jonghyun instructs as he spreads the scarf out enough so that there’s space for both of them to sit. Once it’s set Jonghyun sits and sighs happily. He pats the scarf, gesturing for Taemin to sit.

 

“Ahh, this is nice- oh are you feeling better Tae?” Jonghyun asks all of the sudden, catching Taemin off guard. Didn’t he just ask him that a while ago? Taemin nods, smiling genuinely for once, honestly unable to hold back his feelings, and just wanting to enjoy the care that he’s under for the moment, even if in the end it’s not what he thinks it is.

 

“Ah! You, stay here, and save my seat, I’ll be back” Jonghyun pronounces as he stands up, pats a hand on Taemin’s shoulder and makes his way over to a section of the park that seems to serve foods and drinks. Taemin huffs, watching his breath flow out before him; he tucks one hand into his pocket and rests the other over Jonghyun’s side of the scarf, hoping that’ll keep it warm. He sits like that and waits, waits for whatever Jonghyun might be bringing back.

 

As he sits, more and more seats start to fill up and he grows excited, with now hundreds of people sitting around he knows the light show will start soon. But that’s when his heart starts to pound at that uncomfortable pace he hates. He knows whats coming, and he’s not ready, not ready to pour his heart out, to say those words he’s been keeping in for so long, aloud, and he’s nowhere near ready to face the possibility of Jonghyun...not liking him back.

 

He doesn’t waste his time thinking about the latter as it’ll only aid him in his worries, like he doesn’t have enough of them already; still he keeps that possibility in his mind, because he needs to plan for it, and he needs to figure out how he’ll stop crying when Jonghyun says those dreaded words.

 

His mind returns back to reality before Jonghyun arrives and he’s thankful. He looks around for Jonghyun, hoping to see him walking back towards him; his chest aches when he does see him, Taemin sees him with two small cups in either of his hands and his frown melts a little. He takes his hand away from the scarf, hoping it’s warm enough for him.

 

“Hey, sorry it took so long, there was a huge line, I’m on time though right?” Jonghyun asks, handing a hot cup over to Taemin and he nods a ‘yes’. Taemin brings the closed lid near his nose and immediately recognises that familiar smell- hot chocolate. It’s like Jonghyun is trying to make him fall all over again.

 

“Hey it’s warm, thanks Tae” Jonghyun says warmly when he sits down, he’s so grateful he runs a hand through Taemin’s onyx hair and laughs.

 

“Is it eleven yet?” Taemin asks, watching as Jonghyun pulls his phone from his jacket pocket. He nods and smiles, knowing that this is the moment Taemin has been waiting for, he just doesn’t know how much he really has been waiting.

 

The light show starts in the fountain and the crowd ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ at every flicker of colour. What Taemin didn’t notice when they first arrived, was collums at each corner of the fountain, now they were lit up and flickering all sorts of colours. He admires them as they change and glimmer and he notices Jonghyun having a good time, too, enjoying the music that’s also playing.

 

They sip their hot chocolates as they watch, enjoying the scene before them along with the rest of the crowd. It’s all cold and icy outside, but it’s also warm, Taemin thinks; it’s warm next to his hyung, his friend, the one he loves.

 

Taemin watches Jonghyun’s distracted face as his eyes light up with joy from seeing all the pretty things before them. He doesn’t want to ruin this, being able to sit with his friend comfortably and to just enjoy his company, he doesn’t want to lose this ever. But he doesn’t know how much longer he can sit idly by, hoping his feelings will dwindle down, they aren’t changing or fading, they’re growing and blooming and he can’t stop them no matter how hard he wishes.

 

Taemin isn’t sure how they ended up like this, but he sure isn’t complaining. His hand is interlaced with Jonghyun’s and the latter’s head is resting on his shoulder. Taemin likes this, having his hyung lean on him; Jonghyun is always the one giving and when the tenses switch he’s happy he can provide him with something, even if it’s small.

 

They both finish off the last of their warm drinks and enjoy the lights a little longer before Jonghyun sits up to stretch. Taemin pouts at the loss of weight on him, but appreciates the hand still tangled with his. With the show almost over, he’s losing time and he doesn’t know what to do.

 

With their drinks out of the way at their sides, they both snuggle up to each other in the cold of January. Taemin likes Jonghyun’s arm around his shoulder, likes holding his hand, likes him. They sit like this now, shoulders parallel as they admire the ending of the show. Taemin’s chest starts to sink and he’s scared. But his fear is forgotten for a moment as one final bloom of colours flow through the fountain and into the columns. Taemin doesn’t think he’s ever seen something so beautiful, but then he remembers the man at his side.

 

The lights grow brighter and for a moment he feels weightless. He hears Jonghyun laughing warmly at his side, and then he feels Jonghyun’s lips, warmly on his cheek. His heart beats against his chest and Jonghyun’s kiss lingers and lingers. He had a plan to tell Jonghyun everything but his confession was so mixed up he doesn’t even know how he would word it now, now with the thought of Jonghyun’s lips on his mind, so in the moments where Jonghyun is pulling away, Taemin decides to keep Jonghyun’s lips on his mind and grabs onto the front of Jonghyun’s jacket and pulls him in.

 

Jonghyun- shocked and frozen at first, almost instantly melts into Taemin’s kiss, the kiss he’s been waiting for, hoping Taemin would one day act on. His eyes close and he immediately indulges in what Taemin is ever so fiercely giving him. Their kiss is sweet and slow and half open-mouthed and neither of them want anything other than each other. With hot breaths puffing in between them they pull back, surrounded by the warm air of their personal atmosphere.

 

Jonghyun clamps a hand over Taemin’s, which are still locked on Jonghyun’s jacket.

 

“Hyung I-” Taemin starts, utterly embarrassed and pink in the face with what he’s just done. He’s so strung over what happened he forgets an important piece of information- Jonghyun didn’t pull away.

 

“Shh” Jonghyun hushes and smiles. Pinching his plump cheek. Taemin accepts his pinch gladly and smiles back, heart and mind ever calm and yet somehow more frantic than ever. Taemin averts his eyes back to the fountain and the lights are out and people are starting to leave. Realization sets in and he jumps in his seat, still holding Jonghyun. Jonghyun raises an eyebrow in confusion.

 

“Hyung..we’re, in public” Taemin whispers with a fear he isn’t quite sure of. “What did we just..?” He searched the older’s eyes for some assurance and he receives a warm smile.

 

“As long as we’re together you don’t have to worry about others, okay?” Jonghyun asks, smoothing a hand over Taemin’s clutching arms. “Plus everyone is leaving, it’s alright Tae..” Jonghyun tries to assure him.

 

He sighs when he notices Taemin is sort of frozen in place, he leans in again and repeats what he knows will warm the both of them up.

 

End