It’s a cold winter night. The wind bellows furiously and Baekhyun pulls his coat tighter around himself, shivering slightly. He picks up his footsteps and hurries down the quiet street dimly lit with Christmas lights. Unlike its somewhat cheerful atmosphere, Baekhyun’s heart feels heavy. He slides his hands into his pocket and strides down the lonely road.

 

Just as he is about to reach the end of the road, something by his side catches his attention. It’s a small bracelet displayed behind a glass panel, but beyond its glamour and beauty, something about it draws Baekhyun’s attention. He slows down and halts to a stop, his gaze never leaving the shimmering, amber coloured bracelet. And as he stands alone on the granite floor, hands stuffed in pockets and lips pale from the cold, memories begin to flood his mind.

 

 

1 Year Ago

 

“Baek, hurry would you? Im freezing my off,” Park Chanyeol grumbles and taps his feet impatiently on the ground. He was currently waiting for a small brunette by the name of Byun Baekhyun who was snapping pictures of the Christmas lights by the sides of the road.

 

People brush past the duo quickly, laughter filling the air as the streets are alight with the Christmas spirit.

 

“Just give me a second, giant. The Christmas lights are so pretty, don’t you want to leave a memory?” Baekhyun shoots the tall boy a fake glare, before pulling his lips into a sweet smile.

 

After snapping a few more angled shots, Baekhyun looks through his photos and skips over to the frowning boy happily. He pounces onto him and gives him a tight hug.

 

“Do you expect me to forgive you just because you attacked me with a hug?” Chanyeol pouts and crosses his arms.

 

“I’m sorry babe, but I cant help it when the lights are so gorgeous.” Baekhyun reaches out to pat the boy’s cheek and pinches it slightly.

 

“But I was freezing,” Chanyeol exclaims before dangling his fingers in front of Baekhyun. “Look! They’re turning blue!”

 

Baekhyun smiles warmly at the giant in front of him and covers his fingers with his slender ones.

 

“Let me warm them for you then.” Baekhyun intertwines their fingers and flashes a 100-watt smile at Chanyeol.

 

“Hmph,” Chanyeol huffs and pulls Baekhyun closer to him, hugging him to his side.

 

“You’re cute when you’re whiny,” Baekhyun snuggles into the embrace and glances up at the taller.

 

Chanyeol snorts but he cant stop a small smile from grazing his lips.

 

“Aww, how cute! Your ears are turning red!” Baekhyun announces excitedly, cooing and tugging lightly on the giant’s ears.

 

“My Chanyeollie is so cute, come let me take a picture.”

 

Without waiting for an answer, Baekhyun reaches for his camera hanging from his neck and quickly snaps a shot of the shocked boy in front of him, saving it.

 

“Baek.. Baekhyunnie!” Chanyeol squirms to grab the camera from the boy now running down the street.

 

“You did NOT just do that.” Chanyeol pants lightly as he catches up with the small boy, dragging him back by the hood of his sweater as he wraps his arms around his tiny frame, trying to get the camera that Baekhyun has stretched out from his grasp.

 

“Give it here Baek,” Chanyeol struggles and unconsciously pulls Baekhyun tighter into his chest.

 

“No WAY unless you promise not to delete it.” Baekhyun stretches his arm as far as it can go, chanyeol’s fingers barely grazing the side of the camera.

 

Chanyeol huffs and mutters, “Fine. At least let me see how that turned out would you?”

 

He loosens his hold and sighs, reaching out his hand and motions with his fingers for the camera.

 

Baekhyun whoops in delight and obediently places the camera in his hand, a large grin plastered on his face.

 

Chanyeol quickly clicks on the camera and groans in horror when he sees the terribly unflattering picture of himself in the frame.

 

“I look terrible Baek,” Chanyeol groans again.

 

“I think you look cute!” the smaller boy grins and snatches his camera back, appreciating his artwork.

 

“My ears are huge and red baek, how in the world is that cute?” Chanyeol exclaims, his voice going up an octave. “I look worse than Yoda.”

 

Baekhyun bursts into a fit of giggles and doubles over. He brings the camera to his face and clutches his stomach when he sees that Chanyeol’s description fits the photo perfectly.

 

Chanyeol folds his arms and stands pouting in front of Baekhyun, and the smaller cant help but thinks just how cute the giant looks.

 

“You’re such a big baby yeollie.” Baekhyun cutely tugs on chanyeol’s sleeve and tilts his head up to smile at him.

 

“This is why I cant ever get mad at you. Your smile should be illegal.” Chanyeol reaches out and pinches his cheeks and smiles back.

 

“I love you too big baby,” Baekhyun says and plants a kiss on the tip of Chanyeol’s nose.

 

“You’re an idiot Baek.” Chanyeol huffs, wrapping his arms around Baekhyun’s waist.

 

Baekhyun giggles and snuggles closer.

 

~

 

“1 more minute to Christmas babe,” Chanyeol whispers into Baekhyun’s ear as they lie under the stars on the roof of the apartment block.

 

Baekhyun nods and points at the stars above them. “Beautiful, aren’t they?” He says softly.

 

“Not as beautiful as you,” chanyeol buries his face deeper into Baekhyun’s neck and reaches into his pocket to retrieve a small, shiny bracelet.

 

Baekhyun chuckles and pulls chanyeol closer, “You’re so cheesy.”

 

“Only for you hun.”

 

10…

 

“ive got something for you Baek.” Chanyeol raises his hand to dangle the bracelet in front of Baekhyun.

 

9… 8…

 

Baekhyun stares speechless at the bracelet. His heart is suddenly filled with warmth and unknowingly, tears of joy spring to his eyes, blurring his vision.

 

“Yeollie.. its beautiful, thank you.” He breathes out, voice wavering slightly.

 

7… 6…

 

 

“Not as beautiful as you,” Chanyeol smiles and clasps the bracelet around Baekhyun’s wrist.

 

5… 4…

 

“It’s perfect, it’s the best Christmas present ever.” Baekhyun pulls Chanyeol into a tight embrace, and in that moment, he swears never to let Chanyeol go, even as he feels Chanyeol’s deep laughter rumbling through his chest over the sound of the bellowing wind. “I love you Chanyeollie.”

 

3… 2… 1…

 

“Merry Christmas Baek, I love you too.” Chanyeol says softly over the whir of fireworks in the background.

 

That night, two figures lie under the stars tangled in each other’s arms,  promising a forever, with no goodbye.

 

Present

 

Tears flood Baekhyun’s eyes as he lets out a choked sob. He remembers that night with absolute clarity. How he felt so loved and wanted. How they laughed the night away.

 

And how he swore to love chanyeol till the end of time.

 

But now alone he stands in the middle of the street, gazing longingly at the bracelet on display, his heart twisting painfully in his chest.

 

His fingers are turning blue from the cold, but there is no one to hold his hand this time.

 

As he shuffles closer to the glass display, granules crunch under his foot with each step, and he notes with a dark chuckle, how it sounds strangely familiar to the breaking of his heart.

 

Nearing the glass display, he plants his hand on the cold glass, his fingers trembling slightly.

 

I love you too..

 

Chanyeol’s words play over and over again in his mind.

 

He lets out a humourless chuckle as he thinks of how stupid he had been to believe that one line.

 

Baekhyun thinks of how he opened the door that fateful day only to find Chanyeol lying in bed with someone else.

 

He’d only been Chanyeol’s toy, nothing more.

 

Baekhyun’s heart smashes to pieces once more, and hot tears stream down his face, dripping onto the pavement.

 

He knows  what pain Chanyeol would bring with him if he ever comes  back. But strangely enough he yearns  for it.

 

Chanyeol you bastard.

 

He thinks. And he cries.

 

That night the sound of Baekhyun’s heart breaking is louder than any firework and any laughter.

 

He cries as he remembers the words he uttered that night, the words he sometimes still says in his sleep.

 

I love you, Chanyeollie.

 

And he cries because he knows that he’ll never be able to say it again.

So he turns and walks in the opposite direction, alone.