Ad Absurdum

Naturally Speaking

Soojung was infinitesimally close to losing her sanity. Flicking away the sweat from her forehead, she quietly wondered what her life had been reduced to.

All day long, she had trudged through a sweltering hot, tropical rainforest in her khaki shorts, leather boots and a God awful backpack that contained all her necessities. But unfortunately, her mosquito repellent lotion enriched with SPF-16 (Duh! What else would Sooyeon gift her little Botanist sister for Christmas?) was no match for the fat, bloodthirsty mosquitoes of the humid island. Her elbows and knees were scraped badly due to several falls from the slippery, harsh terrain and her beautiful legs were dotted with nasty red mosquito bites. Not to mention she was muddy upto her waist in bog muck. God, she despised this place. She secretly wished she'd  stayed in the comforts of Sooyeon's condo, taking a nice dip in a lemongrass-scented bath and later settling herself between toasty warm sheets.

But no.

She just had to take the next flight to the Andaman and Nicobar Islands in search of a rare species of Bryophyte. Swatting at a mosquito trying to pierce her face, Soojung made a mental note to herself reminding her that once she gets back home, she should definitely sign up for that modelling offer Sooyeon had been pestering her with.

'I hate myself. I hate this island. And I might regret saying this later but I DESPISE Botany!!!' yelled Soojung, the irritation getting the better of her.

At that very instant, a loud snap broke through the heavy atmosphere and there was a distant yell. Soojung's eyes darted everywhere but all she could see were ferns and shrubs and vines and a swarm of mosquitoes. What if it was some hostile tribal trying to poison her with darts? And like God's anwer to all her fears, a body fell from the heavens, giving way for a bright stream of blinding light through the green canopy, and perfectly landed onto Soojung's frail body. 

'OOOMMFFFF!!!' grunted Soojung, as the impact sent her sprawled across the forest floor. She could literally see stars in front of her eyes as the whole forest seemed to go topsy-turvy. The heat seeping from the unidentified person nearly burnt her tender skin. A mop of black hair blocked her entire view but the smell of dark chocolate emanating from this person seemed to calm Soojung for a while.

Atleast she could be sure that a tribal wouldn't wear chocolate-scented deodorant.

'Excuse me?' squeaked Soojung, nudging the other person's shoulder.

The head that was previously resting in front of her face jerked up and two beady, confused eyes gazed into hers and for a moment, she forgot how to breathe.

'Oh, hello! How did I end up on you? Wait...does that sound weird? I guess it does...' blabbered the young man hurriedly.

Soojung unintentionally let her eyes go over his form and observed how his sunkissed skin shone like bronze in the sunlight. His dark hair seemed so fluffy and light; she wondered if it also felt the same way—

What the hell, Soojung?! You NEED to rehydrate yourself!

'Ummm... you happened to fall from the sky? That probably sounds weirder,' replied Soojung swiftly after berating herself for letting her thoughts wander.

To Soojung's surprise, he laughed and got off of her. Helping her up by the arm without even asking for her consent, he explained,

'Ah! I get it now! I was situated in the topmost canopy, trying to study the behaviour of some of the indigenous bees living in a hive up there. A vine probably snapped under my unbalanced weight when I tried to get closer to the Queen. Yeah... pretty sure that's what happened. Hey! Did you know that these honey bees have a totally different waggle dance from the ordinary ones? And their royal jelly has fifteen percent more amino acid content! I mean, how cool is that? I wonder how long larval development takes if—'

'Soojung!' came a sudden yelp, distracting the Bee-Man from his intellectual monologue, 'My name's Jung Soojung!'

The Bee-Man looked bewildered for a second before his facial features broke out into a swoonworthy grin.

'Of course! How silly of me to prattle on when I should've introduced myself first. Hi, I'm Kim Jongin. Entomologist. I'm sorry if I bored you. I happen to ramble sometimes...'

'Oh no. You didn't bore me at all! I just felt awkward listening to you talk about bees without even knowing who you were in the first place... God, I'm terrible at handling such situations.'

'Well, you were straightforward with your words and I appreciate that. So, Soojung, what brings you here?'

'I'm a Botanist. Came here in search of the rare Repens parvus species. It's a very tiny creeping green plant with an odd colouration.'

'Does it look like a green vine with purplish spots?' shot back Jongin in the fraction of a second.

'Wha— How— Yes! Yes! Do you know where it's located? I've been unsuccessfully trying to collect a specimen all day!'

'Heck, it's running all over my tree house! The red weaver ants have colonised within them. Isn't that wonderful?! C'mon! I'll show you.'

Soojung's feet followed Jongin's lead in a daze yet she felt quite disturbed by the fact that she was following a complete stranger into the woods. Her hyper-paranoid mental alarms oddly seemed to be on snooze. What was this Arthropod-obsessed freak even doing to her? 

'So you actually live here?' questioned Soojung, trying to ease the air of silence between them, 'Don't you have family to go back to?'

'You see, I came here in the first place with my study group but I got so over-excited that I wandered deep and my colleagues assumed I got turned into animal feed. So they left the next week while I was stranded here, amidst the amazing array of flies and ants. And I've become a part of each family of insects that live in this place so I don't care much for home. To me, this place is paradise.'

Okay, now she was totally flabbergasted.

'What kind of group mates abandon you in a rainforest?!'

'In their defense, they did inform the police. But I was too far off into the forest to reach.'

'Does this mean you're never coming back?'

'I have a bit more of my report to complete. In my opinion, it's all or nothing!'

Soojung felt frustrated and exhausted with this person and his eccentric behaviour. Even Sooyeon wasn't this crazy for her Gucci and Chanel. Who even makes insects their family? They're creepy crawlies for heaven's sake!

'Hey Soojung! You wanna hear a cool fact? Ladybird beetles hibernate in winter just like bears! It's also said that they bring good luck.They're such sweet, beautiful insects, aren't they?' chirped Jongin, his voice dancing in the breeze.

'Yeah, that's cute,' commented Soojung, with a small smile on her lips which she failed to supress, whilst making sure to step over a huge branch, 'Tell me Jongin, do you specialise in spiders as well?'

Jongin immediately stopped in his tracks and stared darkly at her, as though she just uttered words of blasphemy, the intensity of which effectively caused her stupid heart to skip a beat. Gaining back his composure, he dryly muttered,

'I repeat: I'm an Entomologist. Not an Arachnologist.'

Soojung suddenly felt quite embarrassed and a tad bit guilty for making Jongin lose his previous child-like exuberance. Well, Zoology was never her strong point anyway. Maybe she should've just kept her big mouth shut. But the sudden void of awkward silence was getting to her sanity.

'Jongin?' she began tentatively, 'I have a cool Botany fact to share with you if you'd like.'

She almost caught sight of that nearly invisible twinkle of interest that reappeared in his eyes and the slight nod of his head.

'Well, you know how our tongue tingles when we eat pineapples, right? It's because the pineapple contains bromelaine, a flesh-eating enzyme, that reacts with our tongue once we bite into into the piece.'

That seemed to have done the trick since Jongin was back to his previous manner, watching her with wonderstruck eyes and that lovely smile which Soojung found scarily endearing disturbing.

'Whoooooaaaa! So it's like a man-eating fruit?' 

'Exactly,' breathed Soojung softly, a sudden constriction forming in her breathing pathway (According to her, it's just the carrot grass allergy acting up again).

'Soojung, please promise me you won't conduct some crazy experiment on pineapples. I don't think I can ever deal with a gigantic, mutant, human-devouring pineapple.'

'Only if you swear that you won't do the same for some creepy crawly!'

Jongin laughed at that and Soojung felt herself involuntarily grinning with him as they gingerly shook on it.

Jesus, Soojung! What's happened to your mighty Ice Princess image and your dislike towards social interaction? Oh, the shame. Are you actually enjoying being with this lunatic? Though I must say, he's one damn y lunatic...

Soojung slapped her arm under the pretense of killing a mosquito to prevent her mind from running into such disturbing zones. And why in God's name did the voice in her head sound eerily like Sooyeon? She could practically hear her elder sister sneer at her surprisingly ditzy form. But her Sooyeon-like conscience was right about one thing— what the actual bloody hell was happening to her?! She, Jung Soojung the Ice Princess, resident little sister of the Ice Queen, warming up to a chocolate-scented, boyishly-charming, psychotic stranger in some ghastly, mosquito-infested forest? Maybe the heat waves were playing tricks on her mind. Or she must've touched some psychedelic mushrooms on the way. Yes, that explains it. Why else would she be melting to the mirth of an Entomologist in a shorter amount of time than what it takes Jinri to convince her out on a shopping spree? 

'...and I scooped out those beetles to safety with a banana leaf—okay, here we are. Welcome to my humble abode.'

Soojung looked up into the canopy of leaves above that held Jongin's little tree house. She could barely make out its outline with all the foliage surrounding it. And true to Jongin's word, the elusive creeper that had Soojung crawling on all fours a few hours ago, grew to its maximum glory over the tree house. 

'Come on up, Soojung!'

Soojung pondered over her reply. She had just spent a maximum of ten minutes with Kim Jongin and it had already taken a toll on her respiratory and nervous systems; she couldn't even imagine what going up to his tree house would do to her wretched self.

It might damage your reproductive system with all that estrogen your ovaries are pumping out...

'Uh, no,' answered Soojung, trying her best to drown out that witchy voice at the back of her head.

'Loosen up a bit... I swear it won't fall!'

'But you have red ants running all over the place!!!'

'You just have to trust me. I promise they won't bite...'

Soojung glanced hesitantly at Jongin. 

'But Jongin...'

'I led you this far, didn't I?'

Surrendering to Jongin's plea, Soojung hauled herself upon the rickety ladders. With some effort she managed to get in to the tree house and she noticed it wasn't that bad. There was a sleeping bag besides piles of books and research papers. Newspaper cutouts, specimen jars filled with creepy crawlies and antidotes were arranged in a corner. There were tins of biscuits and water bottles kept unopened as well. But most fascinating was that the creeper she was after ran all over the place. Taking her Swiss hand knife, she slowly cut a relatively younger branch of the plant along with its inflorescence and sealed it in a hydrated container made specifically for preservative purposes. 

Jongin watched quietly from the sidelines,  paying attention to the master Botanist. 

Once she was done with the specimen collection, Soojung hoisted herself up from the floor and held out a hand to Jongin, which he gladly shook.

'Thank you so much, Jongin! You don't realise how grateful I am—'

Mid sentence, Soojung was tugged into a warm, cocoa fragrant embrace. His arms were placed gently around her shoulders and they took some time just hugging each other.

Soojung didn't completely understand what was happening, but she wasn't complaining.

'I should thank you as well, Soojung,' mumbled Jongin by the side of her face, his breath tickling her ears, 'It's been a long time since I've seen someone this passionate about Biology...'

Gently, Soojung pulled back, unable to take the tension anymore. Pushing strands of hair from her face, she said, 

'I need to return to my lodging now. Or else my sister might send Interpol here in search of me.'

'Oh yeah. Of course! You have to return soon before dusk falls or else it'll be tough getting back home.'

'Thank you once again, Jongin.'

'All the best for your project, Soojung. I hope they appreciate your efforts!' he exclaimed, as he helped her descend the ladder this time.

Soojung smiled back.

 

Back in her hotel room, as she lay on her bed, with her luggage packed for tomorrow's journey back home, Soojung relayed her memories from her eventful jungle adventure and her odd meeting with the eccentric Entomologist. She could still feel his skin against hers, his breath over the rim of her ear, his endearing smile plastered in her vision even after closing her eyes. 

Tossing the blanket over her face, Soojung desperately tried to get some shut-eye. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Xophias
#1
Chapter 1: Wow, I've never thought of Jongin as an entomologist and Soojung as a botanic, this is interesting! I'm looking forward to read more!