so, i wanted to write about a "run" suddenly. an event where omegas and alphas head out in their wolf forms to run around and find their mate and all. but, like always, this turned much bigger than expected and suddenly there was this BAM WOW huge pre-story of sunggyu's struggle on his own with a kid.

i'm already halfway through the second (and hopefully) last part, so i'll probably see you tomorrow (BUT NOT IF MY GAME ARRIVES FIRST /evil laughter/ /glares at amazon/)

warnings: get a tissue box. angst is coming. rated "crying" by my beta

PART I: the one who runs away

Sunggyu opened his mailbox and pulled out the content, before heading upstairs to his apartment. He unlocked the door and kicked his shoes into the corridor. The door fell shut behind him and he dropped his bag on the floor. He rolled his shoulders with a sigh and walked into the kitchen. Sunggyu threw the letters onto the countertop and went straight for the fridge. It was a habit of his to drink milk after coming home. His brother liked to make fun of him for still drinking milk at his age, but Sunggyu always told him that there was no age limit on the bottles. Milk wasn’t just for kids!

He put the bottle back into the fridge after he was finished. Sunggyu grabbed the mail and slid into one of the chairs. He looked through the letters with a bored expression. There were mostly bills and Sunggyu put those letters away without opening them. He knew he was behind on the payments but life wasn’t easy as an omega and single dad (or mother, as the law called him). Sunggyu rubbed his face and sighed. He glanced at the clock. His brother should be bringing Henry over soon. Sunggyu never had time to pick up his son from school but luckily his brother Myungsoo took care of that. He didn’t like Henry walking to school or home on his own. The boy wasn’t even ten years old, though he liked to act like an adult. Sunggyu guessed he was to blame for that. He was a failure as a parent and because of that his son was growing up all wrong. Things would’ve been different if Henry’s father were still alive.

The omega stopped when he looked at one of the recipients. The letter was from the AOHO (Alpha Omega Health Organization). Sunggyu frowned. He quickly opened the envelope with his fingers and looked at its content. His eyes widened as he read the text on the first page. Sunggyu’s eyes flew over the writing and his feeling went from confused to angry. He slammed the letter on the table and went over to the countertop to grab the phone. Sunggyu angrily pushed the digits and then brought the phone to his ear. He paced through the kitchen as he waited for his friend to pick up.

Click. “Hello, Sunggyu-hyung! My lovely Myung-“

“LEE SUNGYEOL!” He interrupted the beta. “What’s the meaning of this!”

“Hyung, whatever you’re talking about, it wasn’t me!”

“This has your handwriting all over it! This time you have gone too far though! I WILL kill you this time!” Sunggyu glared a hole into the letter on his table.

“You can’t kill me! I’m your brother’s mate! We’re married!”

“Myungsoo will have to find someone else! Preferably someone who doesn’t drive me insane! What were you thinking faking my signature and applying me for the next full moon run?!”

“Hyung!! You don’t mean that!” Sungyeol whined. “I did it for you...and for Henry. It’s been nine years since Yongguk died and you’re still- Hyung, you need to let go and move on. Can’t you see you’re not just making yourself but also Henry miserable? You two are living in a dump and you can barely afford even that! Henry spends more time over at our place than he spends with you.”

Sunggyu knew that Sungyeol was right about Henry. His words hurt the omega deeply but he tried to not let it show. He knew he was being a ty parent and that was exactly the reason he let Henry stay with his uncles so often. Myungsoo and Sungyeol didn’t have kids of their own but they loved spoiling Henry. His son had more fun with them. They had a big house, a garden and lots of toys. Sunggyu just had his run-down apartment and a lot of bills. A lot of bad decisions had led to his current situation. With just 17 years, he had gone and fallen head over heels for an alpha four years older than him. One mistake during his heat had then led to an unwanted pregnancy. His parents had been furious and kicked him out of their home for ‘ around’.

Yongguk had been a good man, though. The alpha took him in and helped him to complete his education. They got mated and later, when he was legal, they also got married. Yongguk loved him and adored the tiny life growing inside of Sunggyu. After 8 months of throwing up, mood swings and aches, Sunggyu managed to give birth to Henry in his self-built den under the roof. The wolf pup had looked so tiny and weak in Yongguk’s big palms. Sunggyu had never felt happier than in that moment when Henry cried out for the first time. Everything was perfect

...until an intoxicated driver ran Yongguk over. They never found the guy who did it. Sunggyu was left with a hungry baby, a house he couldn’t afford and no job. He lost Yongguk’s house first but the alpha’s parents took him in. They were a great help during Henry’s first years but he could only stay with them for five years. Yongguk’s mother died of cancer and her husband was so grief-stricken that he died shortly after her. Sunggyu moved into a smaller apartment afterwards, the one they were still living in even now. It was the only place he could afford with his job at the supermarket. Sunggyu wanted to find a better job but no one gave an omega with only a high school diploma a chance.

“So you’re telling me I should go on that run to find myself a rich alpha who’ll take me away on a white horse and get rid of all my worries?” Sunggyu spit out. “I don’t need anyone. I’m fine.”

“You’re not, hyung. You’re lonely. Even Henry knows that and he’s ten.”

“Nine.”

“Almost ten. That’s not the point, Sunggyu-hyung. You’re pushing everyone away, including your son. I know you don’t want to pull him down with you but things don’t have to stay like this. If you could just pull your head out of your and actually make an effort to live! Why don’t you try to further your education? Henry doesn’t need your constant attention anymore; that excuse is long gone. You can’t cut hours because you have bills and rent to pay? You can move in with us! We’ve made you that offer plenty of times. Myungsoo and I would support you with whatever you decide to do – just DO something!”

“I’m making an effort! You don’t know how hard I’m working to...” Who are you kidding? You’re working hard to let your kid eat instant ramen and live in a run-down apartment? Sunggyu fought the tears that were threatening to fall.

He was trying his best but somehow it was never enough. Everyone was judging him, telling him to try harder, but Sunggyu felt like he was slowly suffocating. He was too old to further his education. What use would it be anyways? His own stupid decisions had led him here and Sunggyu didn’t deserve better. He didn’t care if he was starving or if people pitied him. He put all his money into making sure Henry could have a better life. But not even that much you can do... Henry has it better with Myungsoo and Sungyeol.

“Anyways, I’m not going to that run. You’re lucky I’m not suing you for this. Cancel the reservation, Sungyeol.”

“I- I can’t cancel it...anymore...”

Sunggyu clenched his fist. “Sungyeol! The participation fee is 200.000 Won! I can’t afford this!”

“Myungsoo has already paid for it, hyung. We’ve booked a nice hotel too and Henry can just stay over at our place for a week.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Myungsoo is in on this?”

“It was his idea, I swear.”

The omega hung up without another word. He sank into the chair and rested his head in his hands. His brother had tried to convince him to go several times already. Sunggyu told him those runs under the full moon weren’t meant for people like him. The AOHO organized them for all the single omegas and alphas out there. They always took place during a full moon. Omegas and alphas would shift into their wolf forms and then run through the wilderness. It was a popular event and a good way to find a partner. You could meet a lot of potential mates and if you clicked, you even mated and drove home together. There were a lot of success stories. Sunggyu doubted it would work out for himself. It wasn’t like he never thought about finding a new mate, but no one had ever approached him. The few people Sunggyu approached always ran away when they found out he had a kid already. No one wanted a pup from another alpha. Sunggyu had accepted his fate. There was no new love waiting for him out there.

He heard the sound of the front door opening and sat up straight again. Sunggyu wiped his wet cheeks with his sleeves and took a shaky breath. He couldn’t let Henry see him like this. Quick steps neared. “Mommy!”

Sunggyu put a smile on his face and stood up. Henry was the only one allowed to call him mother or mommy. His little boy came running into the kitchen, his school bag hanging loosely off his shoulder. He bent down to pick his angel up and Henry threw his arms around him. “Welcome home, honey. I’ve missed you.”

The omega kissed Henry’s cheeks and the boy giggled. “I’ve missed you too, Mommy! Uncle Soo bought me pizza today-“ He suddenly stopped talking and his eyes went wide. “Oh! I wasn’t supposed to tell you that! I’m sorry, Uncle Soo! Please don’t be mad at him, Mommy!”

His brother smiled sheepishly. He knew Sunggyu didn’t like it when Henry ate greasy food for dinner. “I won’t be mad at him, sweetie.”

Sunggyu put the boy down. “Go put your back into your room and then brush your teeth. I want to see you ready for bed in 20 minutes.”

Henry pouted. “Can’t I go to bed a little later today?”

He knew his son just wanted to spend more time with him. The temptation was big to snuggle up on the couch with his boy and just watch a movie together and talk, but Sunggyu just needed to look at the time to know the answer. “Not today, honey. It’s almost ten pm.”

It broke his heart how sad Henry looked after his rejection. The boy grabbed his bag and ran out of the room with a hurt expression. Sunggyu heard a door slam shortly afterwards and jerked slightly at the loud noise. He sighed. Myungsoo looked at him and the omega hated the pity in his brother’s eyes. “Can’t you work one hour less in the evenings? It would mean the world to Henry if he could at least talk to you or do something with you before heading to bed.”

“You know I can’t. I need the money.” Sunggyu replied coldly.

“I told you we could help. There are empty rooms in the house and-“

“And what, Myungsoo? Should I live off yours and Sungyeol’s money for the rest of my life? So that mom and dad can point their fingers at me and give me the ‘You’re pulling your brother down with you!’ speech? No thanks!”

“HYUNG!” Myungsoo shouted but then obviously remembered Henry was still somewhere nearby. The walls were thin in the apartment. “If you could just blend out your own pride for a moment, you’d realize that you’re already pretty much living off our money! Who pays for most of Henry’s meals? I do! Who buys him new toys or clothes? I do! Who goes to amusement parks with him or into the cinema? I do!”

His words hit Sunggyu like a slap in the face. He stumbled backwards at the force of their weight. Myungsoo’s anger immediately dissipated and was replaced by sympathy. “Hyung, I didn’t mean it like that... You know I don’t mind-“

“Oh, you meant it exactly like you said it, Kim Myungsoo.”

“Hyung...please...” Myungsoo begged. He came closer again and this time Sunggyu let the younger man grab his arms. “I’m just asking you to accept our help. There’s no shame in that. You’re my brother and I love you. I also love my little nephew. I want both of you to be happy. Let someone help you. Please.”

Sunggyu stared at his feet. He didn’t want to destroy anyone else’s life. He had destroyed his own, then Yongguk’s and he was in the middle of destroying Henry’s as well. He couldn’t do that to his brother. Myungsoo was so much better off without the burden of Sunggyu’s existence.

“At least think about it, hyung, please?”

He nodded weakly. Myungsoo smiled shortly and embraced him. “I hate it when we fight, hyung, and I also hate how weak and sick you look. It gets worse with every day. You have to eat properly, okay? I’ve restocked the groceries in the fridge for you. Do me a favor and get some