Title: Let It Bloom

 

Pairings: Im Nayoung // Zhou Jieqiong

 

Genre: Hanahaki AU

 

Summary: Nayoung likes daffodil flowers. Jieqiong absolutely detests them.

 

Word count: 1,969

 

Note: The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.

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Jieqiong feels her chest tighten as oxygen starts to deplete from her lungs. She stumbles into the bathroom with wobbly legs, her breathing harsh and shallow as she reaches out to lock the door behind her with trembling hands. Collapsing on her knees, she lifts the lid of the toilet seat and coughs uncontrollably.

 

~

 

“Hey!”

 

Eunwoo takes a puddle of water into her hands and splashes onto Jieqiong, the latter wiping at her face with a quirky grin. She throws herself onto Eunwoo, and they both fall, knees hitting sand as the water level reaches above their shoulders.

 

Jieqiong laughs when Eunwoo pushes herself away with flailing arms, going further into the sea in an attempt to escape. Jieqiong stands up and dusts sand from her hands, walking to where their mat lay. Nayoung greets her with a towel, and they both sit on the mat, feet buried in sand.

 

“The other kids are not done playing, how come you’re already here?” Nayoung asks.

 

“I got bored,” Jieqiong lies through her teeth, noticing the way Nayoung narrows her eyes at her in suspicion, but she doesn’t pry.

 

They sit in silence, shoulders brushing against each other’s as they listen to the gleeful shrieks from the rest of the members as they splash about in the sea. Jieqiong watches as Nayoung touches up on the sandcastle they had built, picking up a twig from the ground and settling it at the very top of the sandcastle.

 

“It’d be nice if we had a flower petal instead of a twig.”

 

Nayoung laughs, her knee knocking Jieqiong’s, and the latter gives up any attempt to hide the smile growing on her face.

 

“What’s your favourite type of flower?”

 

Jieqiong observes the way Nayoung’s eyebrows furrow slightly as she thinks, and she in a breath at Nayoung’s beauty, having the sudden urge to tuck a flower petal behind the older girl’s ear.

 

“Daffodils,” she replies, a slight blush spreading across her cheeks, “They represent rebirth and new beginnings, but sometimes also unrequited love.”

 

The ends of Nayoung’s lips twitch downwards, and Jieqiong immediately reaches for her hand.

 

“Why would someone like you even have to worry about unrequited love?”

 

Nayoung’s face turns into an embarrassing reddish hue as she slaps Jieqiong’s hand away.

 

~

 

Jieqiong clears when her cough comes to a halt, and she looks down at daffodil petals floating in the toilet bowl, exactly where she’d coughed out.

 

“Jieqiong?”

 

Nayoung’s voice rings from outside the living room.

 

“Jieqiong, we’re leaving. Where are you?”

 

She hurriedly flushes the contents away, scrambling to her feet. Unlocking the doorknob, Jieqiong fakes a smile. Everything is going to be okay.

 

“Coming!”

 

She puts on her socks and slings her backpack over her right shoulder, before rushing out to the front door.

 

~

 

“What is going on?”

 

Eunwoo opens the door of their shared bedroom, only to witness daffodil petals lay scattered on the floor, with Jieqiong crouching in the middle of them.

 

“Jieqiong, what the hell is-”

 

“Help me clean up, quick.”

 

Jieqiong’s stern reply catches Eunwoo off guard, but she does as she’s told, scooping the petals with her pair of hands as Jieqiong gathers them in a basket, before going to flush them down the toilet bowl.

 

Eunwoo plants herself at the edge of her bed, thousands of questions swimming in her head as she plays with her fingers nervously. She watches as Jieqiong emerges from the bathroom, striding towards her.

 

“I’m sorry.” Jieqiong says.

 

Eunwoo shakes her head, offering a slight smile, but she lets her tongue slip before she can even think.

 

“Is this the Hanahaki Disease?”

 

Jieqiong swivels her head around to face the other girl, her eyes slightly widening.

 

“How did you know?”

 

Eunwoo shrugs. “Minkyung’s had it.”

 

Jieqiong opens to reply, but closes it when nothing more than a sigh had escaped. How did she not know about it?

 

“Kyungwon loved her back, so it stopped.” Eunwoo explains, but she looks at Jieqiong with eyes filled with sympathy.

 

“Either your love gets reciprocated, or you go for surgery.”

 

Jieqiong hates the second half of her reply; hates that in order to cure herself, she has to first hurt herself; has to stop herself from loving.

 

“It’s Nayoung, isn’t it?”

 

Jieqiong nods slowly. Sometimes Jieqiong ponders over how well she manages to click with Eunwoo, the latter always seem to be able to read her mind effortlessly.

 

“How long?”

 

Eunwoo’s voice came out barely above a whisper, as if they weren’t the only persons in the room and they were sharing a secret that others shouldn’t know about.

 

“About two weeks.”

 

She recalls the amount of petals she had coughed, and within a considerable amount of time, it’s imminent that the daffodil petals that Nayoung views with adoration will eventually block her airways and restrict her respiratory system. As cliché as it may sound, love literally kills.

 

“Would you go for surgery?”

 

Eunwoo’s hands are now on Jieqiong’s thigh, her fingers trailing circles, a comforting motion.

 

“I don’t think I want to.”

 

Jieqiong starts to recall how it all started; how her heart had fluttered when Nayoung first held her hand, although it was accidental and nothing really more than the brushing of fingers; how Nayoung had always been by her side whenever she felt homesick, like that one time she let Jieqiong cry on her shoulder when she had found the younger girl in the corner of their practice room late at night; and how Nayoung had always been someone who puts others before herself, always a little more caring and considerate than anyone should be. It has never crossed Jieqiong’s mind that her feelings for Nayoung was anything more than mere admiration, but then she feels anger rising within her whenever something unfortunate happens to Nayoung, feels a pang of jealousy whenever Nayoung treats someone else a little better than she treats Jieqiong. She remembers that one time she was left alone at the dorm when the rest of the members had returned to their homes to visit their families, and when she thinks of Nayoung, wishing that the other girl would be by her side, she starts choking on her tears, she starts coughing up yellow petals.

 

“But I think I have to, eventually.”

 

~

 

Jieqiong has her hands at her sides, fists curled but fingers trembling. She looks up at the ceiling and tries to stabilize her breathing, but being confined in four walls, physically restricted and surrounded with surgical instruments didn’t help at all.

 

You’ll be okay, Eunwoo had said to her.

 

Jieqiong doesn’t want to be fine, even if it means having to suffer the gut-wrenching pain whenever she coughs up daffodils. But when Eunwoo had discovered her the other day, half unconscious, laid in the midst of innumerable amounts flower petals, she herself knew she wasn’t going to last long, that the daffodil flowers growing in her lungs will eventually clog her respiratory system, and she wouldn’t be able to breathe, let alone live.

 

Jieqiong chews on her lower lip anxiously as the surgeon approaches with a gas mask in hand.

 

“Zhou Jieqiong, right? You’ll be fine, just close your eyes and count down from ten.”

 

Jieqiong let her eyelids flutter close, and tries her best not to think of Nayoung, not to think of the times she felt like the happiest person in the world whenever Nayoung flashes her a smile or a comforting pat on the back. Everything is going to be okay.

 

~

 

Jieqiong feels fingers tapping against her arm, and her eyelids begin to batter. She slightly cracks them open, and she’s welcomed with white walls and white ceilings.

 

“You’re awake.”

 

She cranes her neck to the left and she sees Eunwoo offering her a concerned smile.

 

“I told the rest that you caught a flu and went for a medical check up,” she says, “You feeling okay?”

 

Jieqiong inhales, taking in oxygen and feeling cold air enter her nostrils, and when she exhales, oddly, she feels that her lungs are clear, rid of any disease. Be it psychological thinking on her part or not, Jieqiong isn’t sure.

 

“I think so,” she smiles back.

 

~

 

Kyungwon is the first to greet them at the front door, probing Jieqiong with questions regarding her check up, but Jieqiong brushes them off with a reassuring smile. She walks with Eunwoo back to their shared bedroom, settling down their backpacks as she sits on her bed to take off her socks.

 

Just then, Nayoung walks into the room and her breath hitches.

 

“I heard you had a flu. Are you feeling any better?”

 

Jieqiong automatically has her fist curled in her sheets as she forces herself to look up and stare into Nayoung’s brown orbs. She expects herself to feel choked up, expects her lips to be pressed together in a thin line as she excuses herself to the bathroom. But she feels nothing.

 

“Jieqiong?”

 

Nayoung waves a hand in front of her face, and she diverts her gaze back onto the older girl.

 

“Oh? I’m feeling fine, just a little tired.”

 

Nayoung nods her head, gives Jieqiong’s hair a little ruffle, and exits the room. Part of Jieqiong wants to break down, wants to drown in the realization that she can no longer know what it feels like to love someone, to love Nayoung. But even then, she feels nothing; her eyes are dry and her heart unfeeling.

 

Anything? Eunwoo mouths to her from across the bedroom.

 

She shakes her head. Nothing.

 

~

 

“What kind of flowers do you like then?” Nayoung asks as she watches Jieqiong fish out her phone from her pocket, snapping pictures of the rest of the members as they continue to fool about.

 

“Me?”

 

She turns around with a toothy grin, fingers at her lips as she lightly nibbles on them.

 

“Gerbera daisies,” she exclaims, hands clasping together in excitement.

 

“Gerbera daisies,” Nayoung echoes, “Innocence, purity and cheerfulness. It suits you.”

 

Jieqiong giggles, playfully slapping Nayoung’s arm.

 

“Let’s go join the rest. Come on!”

 

Nayoung is absolutely reluctant, and she really doesn’t want to move her limbs, not to mention she hates getting into the water, but she lets Jieqiong drag her up nonetheless.

 

~

 

“Nayoung!” Jieqiong calls from outside the living room.

 

“Nayoung, we’re heading out! Where are you?”

 

Nayoung turns the tap off as she daps at her forehead, staring into her reflection in the mirror as she plasters a smile on her face.

 

“You guys go ahead first, I’ll catch up!”

 

She hears the sound of footsteps drifting away and once she’s sure the other members had left, she sinks to the floor, hugging her knees tight.

 

Now when she starts to think about it, it doesn’t make any sense at all. Jieqiong had always been healthy, indulging in nothing but nutritional foods, so when Eunwoo rang her up the other day to inform her that Jieqiong was unable to make it for practice due to flu, Nayoung had her doubts. Nayoung has never been much of a heavy sleeper, so whenever Jieqiong wakes up in the middle of the night, trying to make as little noise as possible as she shuffles to the bathroom, Nayoung notices. She stays in the bathroom for at least half an hour, and Nayoung hears everything, from the ceaseless cough, to the flushing of water, to the very moment Jieqiong walks out of the bathroom and back to her bed. Nayoung wonders why she hadn’t given it more thought, because maybe, rewind back a few months, everything would’ve been solved.

 

A teardrop trickles down her cheeks as she coughs, cupping her hands over . And when she removes them, she opens her palms, and on them rested a single gerbera daisy.