"How's Hansol? I thought he'll join us." Doyoung asks Johnny after they find a table to sit. They’re in a coffee shop and Ten is currently ordering their drinks. "Moping, I tried to drag him here but I can't argue much, did you ask Jaehyunnie about Yuta, he barely gets my texts." Johnny says grabbing the drink Ten just brought "Ahh, those two, again?" Ten hands Doyoung his drink, Doyoung nods sipping from his drink "They're dead busy with promotions, he's pretty concerned about Yuta, he's different, he doesn't smile as much and even if he throws savage comments, they are not as they used to be."

 

Doyoung scans the area subtly, they always have to be careful of what they speak in public and who is watching "I see, can't say otherwise about Hansol, he wants to be alone all the time, we don't have the chance to get him out of the mood either." He nudges Ten to lock hands under the table as Ten put a sorrowful expression on ", the three of us used to be inseparable and now, look at us, look at me, I could do something, I think..." Johnny offers a squeeze to Ten's hand, but Doyoung is faster to speak "Don't blame yourself, they're both adults and stubborn as hell, it's really not on you, not on us." He pauses, his phone vibrates and he opens it with a beam more blinding the morning sun, shifting in his place chuckling then putting his drink down to cover his mouth.

 

"Bae texted?" Ten laughs out "Look at his face, whipped!" Doyoung frowns " Let me live, you're right in front of me, God, it's him, but look," he passes his phone in front of the two and they gulp "it's from today's fanmeeting." He continues.

 

"OK,  this is more serious than we thought, send me that, I am going to shove this to Hansol, maybe he mans up this time." Johnny pulls his phone to save the screen capture from Doyoung.

 

", I want to cry, why are they like this, shouldn't love always win?" Ten cries while Doyoung scans the area again and spots a group of girls chuckling and taking pictures of them so he bursts instantly into laughter, Ten and Johnny look at him as if he was a lunatic but he nudges them "Laugh, you idiots, let's pretend we were having a funny conversation." And they all start laughing like idiots and changing the subject, bluffing at the phone then rising from their seats and run off the door.

 

They bid goodbyes somewhere halfway, the girls have been following and Johnny couldn't properly say goodbye to Ten, neither he wanted so he just texts him to drop by later. 

 

Ten shows at their door, Johnny is not there yet and Ten feels relieved, it's his chance to have a talk with Hansol like in old times. Back when they were all rookies when they started training together Hansol and Yuta helped him the most, Hansol would always be a shoulder to cry on, and Yuta the one to lift his mood up. He didn’t feel put aside when Hansol and Yuta became a thing, because he was too preoccupied with dreaming about a certain tall, Korean-American dude. When he realized how much of a goner he was for Seo Youngho, he ran off to Hansol, which always encouraged him.

 

"You know, you always supported me and pushed me towards Johnny, I think it was more you than the rush of adrenaline that I confessed, I love him, I can't imagine a world where we would be apart, why are you doing this to yourself? I do remember telling you that you and Yuta would end up disastrous one day but, are you sure it's the end?" Hansol does nothing, but listen to Ten and stroll down tears "I'm sorry Ten, I love you, but I can't do anything to ease your concerns." The door opens and Johnny shows up "Think of it, don't be a coward and don't live your life regretting." Ten says at last, jumping on Johnny’s neck, circling his legs around the taller’s waist.

 

Hansol leaves for the studio, he's not in the mood of hearing the two, when he returns there's no Johnny no Ten in the house so he lays in his bed looking at the ceiling.

 

 

 

 

Time flies fast, sometimes not even letting him time for regrets, day by day passes and when he lays onto his bed the only thing running through his mind is what he has really produced that day. Hansol sighs maybe the eleventh time in the same minute mind drifting to places that make his heart sting. It's been seven weeks since Yuta debuted and exactly three months since he moved from the dorm, Hansol's pang in the chest grows at the thought.

 

The door is cracking then is smashed to the wall, and there's only one person who could do such an annoying gesture "What now Johnny?" Hansol growls towards the younger "I've met Ten and-" The younger steps towards his bed, sharing now the same room "Glad to know you've fuked," Hansol snaps cutting off Johnny "Actually we're doing it pretty often but the one really needing it, it's you. Now, if you would try to be less on your period and listen a bit" The younger throws him his phone, opened on a fan account that posted quotes of what the boys said on the fansign.

 

Of course, there are a lot of quotes but he only needed to read one "f: have you met Hansol and the other guys recently" "Y: no, I haven’t~ I’ve been busy" “f:ahh is that so…” “Y: I really want to see Hansol, I miss him.” Hansol throws back the phone to Johnny covering his face with his arm pretending to sleep.

 

In the morning Hansol's eyes are swollen, Johnny doesn't ask, he knows, he heard him. He places an egg roll on the elder's plate "I burn it so that it would taste like Yuta’s." Johnny tries out a joke, but the elder is not really in the mood so he just eats "He improved, Donghyuck told me." He says at last. Johnny drags the chair across the tiny table to sit down, placing his elbows on the table, close enough to Hansol, who has his shoulders slumped down. "I know you miss him too, talk to him." Johnny says placing a hand on his shoulder "I would like, but I screwed us up and....I don't know how to fix it, Johnny, I can't pretend it didn't happen when it did." The elder's voice cracks and Johnny squeezes his shoulder for comfort "What do you think hurts harder walking over your pride for the one you love or walking over your heart for your pride? He is waiting, he's been waiting for this entire time, come on Hansol, don't torture yourself further, and don’t, don’t put him through it either."

 

He doesn't know where or how to start, so he thinks of what would Yuta do, Yuta would probably throw a random text like 'god tae, have you seen how cool Defcon is in real life' then a 'woops wrong box, but since I wrote here, how are you?????’. He thinks of what both Johnny and Ten said to him so he grabs he grabs a piece of paper and writes bluntly ‘I miss you too, what can we do not to miss each other anymore?’

 

He hands the paper to Johnny so that he can pass it to Ten, that would pass it to Doyoung that would pass it to Jaehyun, that would finally pass it to Yuta. And the reply is making the same course back to Hansol.

 

Johnny comes home banging the door of their bedroom as always handing Hansol a small envelope sprayed with Yuta's fragrance that says "Meet me after Mu Bank, it's a date, I told manager hyung."

 

And so he does, he drops dance practice earlier fixing himself, not too much, not wanting to seem that desperate, but eager enough, he texts manager hyung and steps into the van, backseat on the left, looking outside the van, waiting. He can’t be spotted near them so the only reasonable idea is to hide in the van before the boys are picked up and get down in a safe, secure place.

 

The van door opens and he can hear the riot the members do, excited from the performance, Jaehyun steps in first and sits right next to Hansol as soon as he spots him “Hyuuuuung I missed you!!” He hugs Hansol putting his head on his shoulder, Hansol missed his aegyo “Me, too, me too!” He pats the younger’s head. Taeil and Taeyong take the front seats, also startled by Hansol’s presence, but being older than the others, they catch on faster over why is he there.

 

He can hear outside the van Yuta signaling the younger boys to get up, Mark and Donghyuck look so sleep deprived but they still get excited at Hansol’s presence, Hansol’s missed them a lot. Sicheng also greets Hansol, sitting next to Jaehyun, then Yuta steps up and his eyes are sparkling at the sight, as if wanting to stop the time right there so that he can make sure, he’s not hallucinating "Jae, I'm sorry, but that's my place." Yuta makes his way between the seat rows to the back "Ohh but the other places are taken.” The younger complains "I am not going to make you ride standing up, I was referring to Hansol hyung's lap, I'll stay there, now move a bit for me to take my place." Yuta beams his 1000 kilowatts smile, Hansol always wants to out, but he composes.

 

Yuta makes himself comfortable on Hansol's lap, hands circling the elder's neck, head pressed against his chest to feel and listen the elder's heartbeat. The engine starts once everyone found his place, and soon they start to fall one by one, drifting away to dreamland. "Don't fall asleep on me" Hansol pokes Yuta's side when he saw the other closing his eyes "No way, we're going on a date, I am just listening to your heartbeat" Hansol would scream now 'liar' as they reached NCT 127 dorms and Yuta is almost drooling, snoring on his chest.

 

The other boys drag one another carrying the ones that could not be woken up, and the manager stays behind for Yuta to wake up. But Hansol doesn't wake him up, he does want to, Yuta has huge dark circles under his eyes, and now sleeping so peaceful into his arms, Hansol doesn't have the heart to wake him up "Hyung, you can go, he won't wake up too soon, we can't go anywhere, bring me the key I will lock the van and when he wakes up I'll grab a cab and he will return the key." He whisper-shouts and the manager complies, letting them be.

 

Hansol can't feel his legs anymore since Yuta is on his lap for couple hours now, but he won't put Yuta on the seat. He secures Yuta with a hand on the latter’s waist and a hand on his thigh, the younger's hands still around his neck. He missed having the younger into his arms, he missed the scent of Yuta's skin, so he watches him sleep, placing from time to time a butterfly kiss where he can reach.

 

Yuta wakes up whining, hitting softly Hamsol's chest almost tearing up "Why you didn't wake me up, we were supposed to go on a date, Hansol, it's been almost in forever since we went out on a date or just the two of us." Hansol feels remorse but for him, it was a bit enough even this "I couldn't wake you up, you were sleeping so peacefully, into my arms