It was only for a moment. Not sure if it was even a few seconds, or was it just one second? But I knew it happened, even if it was brief. I remember, he held out his hand, and I reached out to hold it. It wasn't a normal hand shake, heck, he didn't even shake my hand. He just held it, his grip firm and gentle, I felt his warm hand, and honestly speaking it touched my heart. It took me by surprise, and I wonder if he could hold my heart like the way he held my hand. Holding it tightly, strong but gentle, as if he knew he had the strength to crush it all, but chose to do it slowly, since it is more painful, more memorable. I did not expect that, I thought it would be just a handshake shorter than a heartbeat, faster than a pulse, but it was longer, as if he was asking for me to stay. He said something, his lips in motion, but I couldn't comprehend his words, it was like time stopped because I get to stare into his beautiful brown eyes. We locked gaze, all I could see was him smiling a bit saying something, but his words were silent as I could barely hear anything due to his actions. Did my brain chose to shut down my ears just to make me feel his hands wholly? His eyes were like melting chocolate, sweet and warm. Those eyes are really, really mesmerizing. At that moment, everything seemed magical. The staff was urging me to go already, but all this happened, and it happened too quickly, it left me appalled, shocked, heart racing. I swear, my brain stopped functioning and all I could remember was his face, his hair, his eyes. I can't even remember what I said to him, I hope I didn't look too shock or did anything that is  going to make him think I'm weird. 

 It is true that I’m weird though. 

          Public confession? Hell yeah I got that thing checked from my list of crazy things to do before I die. I was surprised by my own actions, though there was a tinge of regret for not doing the confession properly. I hope it didn't seem too extreme or whether it came out half-heartedly. At the very least, he heard me. When I called out to him, he turned his head to look around, it was really adorable. I know all these might seem normal for him, but this was my first and not to mention that I was really nervous. Speaking over the mic? Singing his song in public? I was never confident in my voice, singing in public with so many fans witnessing was kind of embarrassing, now that I think of it. I hope I didn't sound too bad. But on top of that, I hope he heard me. I was really thankful for the opportunity to confess my love for him. To be very frank, I was going to speak for James and just straight up tell him how I appreciate his courage and the new song and all that, but I didn't know how it slipped out as a confession for Moon. It was unexpected, I didn't expect it myself. Come to think of it, last year when they were giving out some goodie bags, the emcee asked who is the most good-looking guy in RP and I said through the mic, that it is “Moon Chul”.  

          I guess it just came out naturally, I just love him. Even though at times he pisses me off by making empty promises, but I still fell for him.  Real hard. I wish this would all stop but the joy he brings makes up the pain that I had to go through.  

          I went home, and I suddenly remembered the recording of the fan meeting on my phone. After a few taps on my phone, I opened the file. I only recorded the second time I went on stage to get my sister's album signed. I listened to the recording, it was noisy, it wasn't clear. Sooyoon was first, but I didn't say anything much to him as I was busy staring at him. He was adorable, during the first meeting I gave him an early-birthday present which was a drawing of him, and he said it was pretty, I'm happy to hear that, even though I wasn't sure whether he really liked it or not.

          Second meeting with James was funny. At the first meeting he went all out and decided to speak to me in Mandarin which make me ponder whether I looked too Chinese for him to make such actions. In the recording of our second meeting, I laughed at myself saying only “hi” to James, and I heard his kind words saying that he'll try to remember me, he even thanked me in Mandarin. I remember his smile, he was really bright, and I pray to God everyday to bless this ball of sunshine, hoping for his hand to heal.

          I can't really remember what happened with Moon during the first time I went on stage. I wasn't calm and composed after the interaction with James, but I saw Moon looking at me before I even walked, like two steps towards him. I could tell that he recognized me from my name, as one of the listeners from the radio show he used to host a few months ago, but he still couldn't pronounce my name and I corrected him abruptly. I don't blame him for not remembering, and for all I know, 9 out of 10 people I first met couldn't pronounce my name correctly unless they're Chinese. I don't remember anything after that, but I was happy that he remembered me. Listening to the second meeting audio recording, it was finally Moon’s turn. His voice rings, it was loud and clear. Finally, I heard what he said, I still couldn't recall him saying that, images of his beautiful eyes flashed in my mind, I could still feel the warmth of his hand that wrapped around my fairly cold hand. 

          “I'll remember you.” was what he said. I'm not sure if he would, but the way he held my hand and said this made it fairly convincing. I'll never know. 

          Well, let's see about that. 

It was a day full of surprises, from myself, from them, from him. 

Thank you for reading! Please note that this isn't 100% true, probably 98% true though.

I love them so much :) bless RP and their beautiful souls.