“Seungkwan, I love you! I’m sorry, but no matter how hard I try I’m still in love with Jeonghan too. I know he left me, but these feelings won’t go away!” Seungcheol yelled from where he was kneeling on the floor in tears. “Seungcheol, I love you too! I love you so much more than you can know because you’re still in love with someone who wants nothing to do with you! It hurts so much; can’t you get that through your head?” Seungkwan screamed as he grabbed his coat and put on his shoes. “Where are you going?” Seungcheol said still on the ground, “I’m going to the club, I can’t be here right now. I love you.”
With that Seungkwan was walking to the club. He texted his friends, Hansol, Seokmin, and Soonyoung, and told them to meet him there. When he got in he saw them at the bar. He walked up and Hansol asked, “Seungcheol?” To which Seungkwan nodded. Soonyoung ordered a round of drinks and they started a messy night.
Seungkwan was on the dance floor with his friends when his phone started ringing, he ignored it, but it continued. He finally picked up and it was Seungcheol. “Leave me alone, I’m too busy drinking about you.” He hung up as quickly as he picked up. This wasn’t the first time this happened. The only thing that ever changed was who went to the club with Seungkwan. Seungkwan wish he could stop, but it was the only thing that took the pain in his chest away.
A few days later Seungcheol and Seungkwan were sitting in their shared apartment when Seungcheol spoke up, “Seungkwan, what do you do when you go to the club? Do you ever cheat on me?” Seungkwan put his tea down, “You know I thought about it once and it hurt me to even think about. So no, I don’t think I ever could, no matter how drunk I got.” Seungcheol nodded, “I’m sorry for hurting you, Seungkwan. I’m really trying to forget him. I want to forget him for you.” Seungkwan stood up, “I want to believe you Seungcheol, but it’s been months. I only agreed to go out with you because I thought you could love me as much as I loved you. I knew I should have gotten with you until you were over him. I thought it might help you having somewhere there for you, but all it’s done is hurt me!”
Seungcheol grabbed Seungkwan’s wrist and pulled him into his embrace. “I want to get better. I’m going to get better, just don’t leave me. I couldn’t even imagine what I’d be like if I lost you.” Seungkwan was sobbing, “I don’t even know if I could lose you because I don’t know if you’ve ever really been mine. I love you so much, but I’m so done, Seungcheol.” Seungcheol’s gripped onto him tighter, “Please don’t say that, I am yours. I know I’m terrible and selfish, but please Seungkwan.” Seungkwan broke out of his embrace, “Please what? Please continue to go through pain so you have someone to fall back on because the person you really love doesn’t want you? How can you say you’re mine when Jeonghan still holds your heart?”
Seungcheol stood up now, “Jeonghan through my heart back at me! It was torn and beaten and barely recognizable, but I gave it to you! Obviously you haven’t accepted it!