Warning: I was so happy I finished it, I didn’t check for spelling and other grammatical errors.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”

– Buddha

The sky was a clear pastel blue. Not an azure hue, but a soft baby blue. It was a very soothing color that was reminiscent of a parent’s warm blanket for his or her child. It felt like a safe third space for a loved child. Like a womb. The wispy white clouds seemed to have emphasized this beautiful notion very much, as they decorated the baby blue sky with cute sheep and bear shapes. Its whimsicalness would have amused a small child so well. One could very well  imagine a parent carrying his or her child in order for the kid to attempt to touch the far distant sky. The sun was bright, but not enough to hurt the eyes. It was a warm yellow pigment, with tints and tinges of oranges and reds. Almost like one of Van Gogh’s  impressionist paintings. The sun’s rays carefully illuminated a closed apartment living room in Seoul.

The gentle rays snuck under the curtains, warming up the monotone living room. The gentle rays illuminated the room with a pinkish hue, creating a soft effect that created comfort for the lonely girl that laid on the brown wooden floor. The floor was clean, except for all the books that were sprawled over the floor. The books ranged from all sorts of genres, from the classics to gothic horror to young adult. One book seemed to have the most wear, the pages seemed to be falling out and were extremely yellowed with age. It seemed that the tattered novel was the girl’s most favorite book. The book was an old black paperback with what appeared to be a monstrous blue child on the cover. The child looked quite animalistic, like he didn’t belong. Just like the girl who laid on the floor.

The girl who laid on the floor had long dark brown hair with purple highlights and an oversized pullover that covered her blue denim shorts. The oversized pullover was pink and fuzzy, with a rabbit’s face on it. Even her pink indoor slippers had little bunny ears on them. The girl simply loved bunnies, but her landlord didn’t permit her to own one. Apparently he was extremely allergic to her pet bunny. Kim Jisoo didn’t want to risk losing her deposit, so the brunette simply sent her pet to live with her stepmother. The small girl was now  simply looking at the ceiling with while wearing a pair of headphones. Jisoo was silently waiting for someone she knew wouldn’t come. At least not until the night. Everyday she would simply stare at the ceiling waiting for a text or message, as if she was in a kind of staring contest. A contest that Jisoo would never win.

After staring at the ceiling for what seemed to be twenty minutes or so, Jisoo lazily crawled over to the coffee table to reach for her smart phone. In the center on the coffee table, was a small glass fish bowl. Swimming inside it was a red goldfish. Jisoo’s mother bought her the goldfish after her boyfriend forbid her from having her pet bunny at the apartment complex. The goldfish gracefully swam around the plain fishbowl, which merely contained only water and a small plastic plant and rainbow colored stones. Jisoo smiled at the goldfish and feed it fish flakes. The small goldfish was happily eating the fish flakes and continued swimming in a circle. The fish’s displacement remained to be a total of zero, just like the number of its companions. The red goldfish continued swimming around the glass bowl, all alone. Just like Jisoo. All alone in an endless circle of life.

Jisoo then placed a finger in the fishbowl. She then proceeded to swirl the water to see if her pet fish would be affected. The red goldfish simply swam in circles again, unaffected by Jisoo’s experiment. She stopped playing with the water, and placed her head on the wooden table. The brunette slowly closed her eyes. Jisoo felt so tired. Not from working all day on her political science all day. But from being alone. She hated the loneliness of her apartment complex. The neighbors never bothered greeting her. Jisoo could remember the first day that she moved in. The moment she tried greeting her neighbor, he simply brushed her off. The same with the other two neighbors. She was invisible to all of them, but she at least had her pet goldfish. At least she could trust her pet, it was people who she was scared of. Sometimes Jisoo would simply wish to stop existing. She was tired from existing.

Jisoo felt something in her pocket vibrating. She reached inside her pocket for her cracked black phone. The phone case was made of cheap rubber and was in the form of a pink rabbit.  She never bothered replacing her phone after it got broken. She accidently dropped it when she was rushing to her first course of the day, which was a political science class about public policy. Jisoo had overslept and was almost late.  Jisoo only had two contacts on her phone anyways, so she wasn’t in a rush to fix or replace it like other people. She knew who was calling her. Jisoo always did. The other contact barely contacted her at all. It had been a long time since the other contact had called her. So very long, it caused Jisoo’s heart to ache.

“I wish I was as brave as you.” Jisoo stared at her pet goldfish. “ You seem fine with being all by yourself in the fishbowl. Simply swimming and ignoring the ripples you create. Sometimes I wish that I could be the same. I just wish I- ” Jisoo went to sleep. The brunette merely out, ignoring the fact that she was still wearing her denim  jeans. She no longer dreamt. All Jisoo saw was black when she closed her eyes. Jisoo did sometimes imagine herself as her pet goldfish. How it felt like to simply eat and swim in circles all day. The ability to be totally dependent on someone else without thinking of any consequences or responsibilities. The ability to live all alone and know that you will be loved no matter what. She really did envy her red pet  goldfish. The only ringing she heard at night was from Mrs. Kim.

“You sure that I’m brave?”

There were no sunrays that woke up Jisoo with their natural warm light. Instead she received a loud sound from her alarm clock. Like a potato, she rolled off the coffee table and hit the ground. Jisoo then dragged herself to her closet and scavenged through the drawers. She found a blue jumper and a pair of skinny jeans. After assessing that they were clean enough, Jisoo changed into the outfit and threw her old clothes in the closet. The clothes were still good for another day’s use. She then looked under her bed for a pair of socks and shoes. Luckily the brunette managed to find a decent pair. Jisoo then grabbed a granola bar and a bottle of cold water and ran out of the flat. She didn’t want to be late for her first class of the day. Unfortunately Jisoo had to run back because she forgot her backpack. It was the first time in a couple of weeks that she was late for class and she missed the first bus.

While the small brunette was scrambling for her keys, she heard a high pitched laugh behind her. When Jisoo turned around, she surprisingly saw a small four year old girl laughing. The stranger had wavy long blonde hair with orange ombre and chubby cute little cheeks. She was wearing a dark indigo sweater with two white lines on each sleeve and a pair of grey pants. Jisoo had to admit that the strange little girl was very adorable. The moment the girl opened her eyes, they were a dark black color. The brunette couldn’t imagine a human having such dark eyes, almost like a goldfish.

“Who are you and what are you doing in my apartment?” Jisoo inquired. How could a little girl sneak into her apartment? She was sure that she locked up the entire place. Where were the little girl’s parents? What if they were worried? She definitely had to report this to the police. Especially if said little blonde girl was going to make her late for the second bus to college. Today was simply not Jisoo’s day.

“First of all don’t worry about being late to class,” The little girl said with great confidence and she pointed at the calendar in Jisoo’s kitchen. “It’s Saturday and I’m pretty sure that no professor has lecture on Saturdays. I’m hungry Jisoo you have to feed me.” The weird girl pouted and walked over to the coffee table. Surprisingly the rose colored bowl was empty.

“Why would I feed you? You’re a stranger first of all! And I’m pretty sure no one feeds a stranger that invaded their apartment! Come on let’s go before I call the police to arrest you for intruding on private property.” Jisoo started to pull the weird girl out of her apartment. What was strange was that the girl surprisingly felt wet. Weird? It wasn’t raining outside and the weird girl looked surprisingly dry. The blonde smirked.

“Jisoo feed me,” the blonde demanded. “I’m your pet goldfish and you’re supposed to feed me like every other normal day. Isn’t that what responsible owners do?”

“You’re-you’re my pet goldfish?”Jisoo asked in disbelief and the blonde girl nodded yes. Well that kind of explained why the fish bowl was empty this morning and the reason why her pet fish was no longer in sight. Jisoo smiled in relief and proceeded to feed the girl a bowl of fish flakes. The small girl smiled and ate them gratefully, happy that her owner fed her. Jisoo smiled again and walked towards the kitchen. “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! OH MY GOD! I’M SWEARING IN FRONT OF A CHILD! MY MOTHER IS GOING TO KILL ME! YOU’RE DEFINITELY NOT MY PET GOLDFISH! HEY STOP EATING THOSE FISH FLAKES! I’M PRETTY SURE THAT PEOPLE AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE EATING FISH FOOD!”

After Jisoo calmed down a bit (well her neighbors started complaining about all the noise that she was making and threatened to call the landlord), Lisa finished her bowl with a bright smile. She then started playing around with the empty fish bowl and pouted. “What will it take for you to believe that I’m your pet goldfish?” The blonde asked Jisoo. Jisoo could tell from the girl’s eyes that she was sad that she didn’t believe the incredulous story.

“Well you certainly don’t look like my cute little goldfish and you look like a human to me. And your hair color doesn’t match my pet goldfish’s beautiful vermillion color,” Jisoo stated coldly.

“Ah, you think I’m cute.”

“That’s not the-” The weird girl hugged Jisoo. “Get off me! I don’t want to get wet!” Jisoo pushed the weird blonde to the side.

“You’re so mean,” the strange girl frowned. “You won’t let me hug you because I’m not your old pet bunny.”

“That’s right.” Jisoo nodded. “Wait-how do you know about my old pet bunny? Are you a stalker?”

“I’m not a stalker. I don’t think you’d be the type of person to attract one anyways. You’re routine doesn’t involve much to be honest. All you do besides going to college and your classic drumming club is eat and sleep. Oh and sometimes you talk with Mrs. Kim over the phone. She is the person who gave me to you as a gift when the landlord forbidden you from having a pet bunny in your apartment. I remember that he gave you some lame excuse about someone being allergic or something like that. You then gave your pet to your mother whom is taking care of it and that is the story of how I became your pet.” The girl looked very proud of her explanation and Jisoo simply looked stupefied by how the blonde was able to go into much detail about her private life.

“I still kind of wonder why I became human though and it’s still kind of weird that I’m still as slimy like I am in my fish form.” Jisoo’s pet “goldfish” said. “Maybe it’s reversible? Well I’m here now to help you out.”

“Help me out?” Jisoo asked. Well she supposed that she had to accept that her little goldfish was now human. But what did her pet mean by helping her? That didn’t make any sense whatsoever. Not one bit.

“It’ll make sense later. Can I please get another bowl of fish flakes? I’m very hungry. By the way can you feed me the new bag you bought me last week? I’m kind of getting sick of the other brand.” Jisoo groaned. Now she had to take care of some weird human goldfish hybrid child.

The next day Jisoo looked though her closet to give her pet some fresh clothes. She didn’t want her pet to be wearing the same clothes all the time. Jisoo did suppose that personal hygiene wouldn’t be an issue. The blonde child did love taking baths. Last night it took Jisoo ten minutes to drag the blonde child out of the shower. If she didn’t, there would have been a very expensive water bill to pay. Jisoo frowned. None of the clothes would fit. Her weird human goldfish hybrid was only four years old and every piece of clothing she owned would be too big on her. Jisoo wanted her pet to dress adorably.

“Guess I have to take her to the mall to buy her some clothes. Hey goldfish girl! Go to the living room! We have some things to talk about.”

The goldfish girl sat at the coffee table with a huge smile on her face. Strangely enough Jisoo did see the resemblance with her little goldfish at that moment. It was something about her dark black eyes that reminded her of the little goldfish. It was the way they twinkled and how the girl’s wavy hair micked the slender lines of the goldfish's beautiful long tail. What Jisoo still didn’t figure out was why the fish didn’t retain its scarlet hue in its human form. Maybe it was because humans couldn’t possess such a color without dying her hair?

“Today we are going shopping for some new clothes. You don’t want to be wearing the same outfit all the time, do you?” The goldfish girl shook her head no. “Before we go to the mall, I have to teach you how to be a bit more human like. I don’t think people would believe that you used to be a goldfish if you all of the sudden jump into a pond of koi fish claiming that you want to swim with your friends.”

“Hey! That’s offensive. Koi fish are more like my second cousins twice removed.”

Jisoo sighed. “Sorry. Well before I start teaching you some basics, I guess I should give you some kind of human name.”

“What about G-DRAGON?”

“No. That’s the name of a famous male idol.”

“Hmm… I guess not. Jeez humans are so picky with gender specific names. What about Krystal?

“You don’t look like a Krystal to me.”

“Soyou?”
 

“Nope.”

“Jennie?”
 

“Not even close.”

“Jisoo?”

“Hey that- no way. That’s my name. We can’t both be Jisoo.”

“Well if you say so,” the blonde shrugged and thought a little more about her name. She then pounded her hand on her other palm. “What about Lisa?”

“Lisa?” Jisoo thought about it. Well she did kind of look like a Lisa. “Lisa Manobal it is then. If anyone asks you’re my half Korean half Thai cousin that came to Korea to visit our grandmother. I’m simply babysitting you while your parents are taking a much needed second honeymoon. Also, you’re not completely fluent in Korean, which will cause you to be a little shy around strangers and you won’t talk much because of that. That will kind of explain any weird speaking habits you may have or any strange things you might do.”

Lisa nodded, showing that she understood. “Also don’t speak a lot. Just nod or shake your head if someone asks you a question. If it’s a bit more complicated I’ll answer for you. Clear?

Lisa nodded her head yes. She really did learn fast. Jisoo smiled. Maybe this wouldn’t be that hard afterall. All she had to do was buy a couple new outfits with Lisa and return home to a cup of instant noodles. Yep. Not so hard afterall. “LISA! DON’T YOU DARE EAT THOSE FISH FLAKES! YOU’RE A HUMAN NOW. I DON’T WANT YOU TO GET FOOD POISONING! LISA MANOBAL!”

After prying Lisa off the fish flake bag, Jisoo finally managed to drag the goldfish girl to the mall. Apparently goldfishes were very very amused by public transportation. Jisoo literally had to carry Lisa off the bus. Hopefully no one thought it was a little bit weird. Well parents did always drag their children to places they didn’t want, so it wouldn’t be that weird for Jisoo to drag Lisa away.

“Wow! This mall is so huge!”Lisa exclaimed. The mall was three stories high with dozens of small clothing shops and bigger retailers. Each corner was filled with food stands and kiosks of lame novelty products. Jisoo didn’t really find it amazing, but the four year old did. She assumed it was because children were so pure hearted. They didn’t have to know how ugly the world was. There were no bills to be paid. School and homework was their own responsibility. To them, death was intangible. To them it was a mere “goodbye” because they still believed in the afterlife. A heaven. Adults knew that what really happened was that hopefully the deceased was cremated or buried without leaving a huge debt.

Most of all, children didn’t have the responsibility of taking care of another being.

That itself was scary.

Jisoo felt the hem of her skirt was being tugged and she looked down. The cute little goldfish cherub was smiling at her, her smile meeting her eyes. The brunette found the goldfish’s smile charming. There was something that simply radiated from Lisa’s aura, even though she was only a small child. There was some sort of splendor in her character, something that told Jisoo that Lisa would grow up to be somebody. Maybe that’s how all parents viewed their children. As someone that was going to be a somebody. A teacher. A doctor. A nurse. A lawyer. An engineer. Maybe even an astronaut.

“Aren’t we going to buy clothes? You’re just staring off into the distance.” Lisa asked innocently. She was a bit confused by why Jisoo seemed so off.

“You’re right. Let’s go to that one.” Jisoo pointed at a cute little shop for young mothers and their daughters. There were cute little pastel outfits, as well as darker versions for messy children. There were also loads of cute little plushies and more gender neutral options for the girls. Hey girls like playing with toy cars too. Overall it was a cheap and safe option for Jisoo. She didn’t know at what rate Lisa would grow up since a child’s growth was unpredictable, especially since Lisa was a goldfish up until yesterday.

“Why not that one?” Lisa asked innocently.

“No not that one,” Jisoo immediately shut down Lisa’s suggestion.

“Why not? It looks pretty normal to me. And those people do look happy going in.”

“Lisa they aren’t happy because they’re shopping for clothes. Um, let’s just go into the first store okay? I’ll even buy you a pretzel.”

“Yay!” Lisa dragged Jisoo into the cute little shop. Jisoo’s face was extremely flushed and red. There was no way the brunette was going to let the child enter that store. Never. Not even if Lisa grew up and was twenty years old. She wasn’t going to let some guy or girl erse her little goldfish.

The moment the pair entered the store, Lisa ran off to go play with the toys. She seemed to be very attracted to the bunny plushies, a trait she probably inherited from Jisoo. The brunette sighed. She had to choose all the outfits by herself and hope that they would at least fit the child. While checking out the possible outfits, Jisoo noticed a very pregnant woman.

The woman seemed to be in her last trimester and honestly looked like she was going to pop in any moment. In spite of her large belly the woman was simply lovely. She was beaming and beautiful while she was picking out clothes for her child.

“Oh, are you looking for clothes too?” The woman asked Jisoo. The brunette nodded. “Want to help me pick out clothes. My wife couldn’t come today. She just got a promotion at work and I didn’t want to bother her. I always end up choosing the ugliest outfits and I would like some input.”

“Sure,” Jisoo replied.

Together the two women chose a couple of outfits for the older woman’s unborn child, as well as some for Lisa. The older woman opted for some pastel greens and blues. A mother’s instinct told her that her daughter would have preferred these colors. Jisoo opted for a darker wardrobe. She was wanted to go more some soft blues and oranges, but she knew how messy the goldfish child could be.

There was one baby outfit that Jisoo couldn’t help but to stare at. It was a simple white tunic with a black heart where a left pocket should have been. To the average eye, it would have looked too plain, but to Jisoo it was adorable.

“Do you like that one?” The pregnant woman asked. “It’s really cute.”

“Yep, it really is cute.”

“Why don’t you buy it now?”

“Now?”

“Well I think it might be a little too early for you to have a baby, but it wouldn’t be bad for you to buy an outfit out of whim. Being a parent is a beautiful moment in any person’s life, it wouldn’t be weird if you wanted that as well.”

“I not going to buy it. I don’t think I’ll ever need to.”

“Jichoo,” Lisa managed to say while stuffing herself with a pepperoni pretzel. The goldfish girl originally wanted to try some sushi, but Jisoo said no. The brunette would probably never let the child eat anything that contained fish. Jisoo was a little paranoid that she would be making Lisa a cannibal, since the child was originally a goldfish. She also didn’t want to give lisa the circle of life talk either. The brunette thought that it was a little too early for that talk anyway.

“Hm?” Jisoo was busy sipping on her lemonade.

“Why didn’t you buy the baby outfit? It looked like you really really really liked it.”

“I won’t ever use it,” Jisoo coldly replied. Noticing that Lisa got a little sad from her harsh tone, Jisoo sighed. “Do you want to go to the arcade?”

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