wendy always picks her. no matter what the given situation is, wendy would always pick her. even if it isn't necessary for the girl to blurt her name out either, somehow the younger would find a way to do so. perhaps, after specifically describing her. her distinct personality, qualities, characteristics. features. then wendy would end her simplified explanation by the mention of her name with a sheepish smile or titter while pointing at her, or both. (".. just like seulgi right here beside me.")

always.

always, she would hear her name spoken, brought about, by wendy. it is as if she holds the answer to every question thrown the shorter's way. sort of like, she is her answer to everything ― or so that's how it feels like. that's how her mind registers wendy's gestures. and every time she’d find herself holding her breath back for a second or two. hearing nothing but the deafening sound of her own heart.

and she hopes that wendy's actions — they aren't just.

whatever meaning they secretly hold.

hell, she really hopes not.

or it would so much..

because there’s something about the way wendy’s eyes would light up. the way her husky voice would shake in excitement whenever she speaks to her. how a soft hue of pink would appear on her cheeks as she bites back a grin before lowering her head in embarrassment after confirming everyone else’s guess that she has, indeed, have chosen her once again.

"say, seungwan."

and there’s just something.

something’s telling her that nobody looks at the person they claim to be their most precious friend the way wendy does to her.

"hm?"

for wendy looks at her like she’s seeing the galaxy up close.

"do i.."

wendy looks at her like she’s telling her she’s in love with her.

and it's too difficult not to notice.

it's too difficult to make herself believe that that's just how wendy is. most definitely not, when she catches herself into the deepest part of those pair of glimmering fawn orbs.

it’s also impossible to miss every single detail about wendy’s animated reactions. just like how impossible it is for her not to think that maybe wendy’s stomach also does somersaults whenever they’re together. whenever their eyes meet. whenever they hold hands. whenever they see each other (which, ironically, is practically every second of the day.)

and that maybe she’s the first thought that wendy wakes up to every morning, and the last she closes her eyes to every night.

knowing that you don’t feel quite the same.

she lets the bitter tasting liquid pass down to burn and induce her lightheadedness once and for all. her eyes close and a drunken smile on her liquor kissed lips.

"do i cross.. your mind that often?"

she’d love to know.

seulgi knows that it’s the alcohol speaking her thoughts aloud for her. she also knows that it’s the alcohol that quietly talked her out of it. and she knows it's the alcohol that had just dug her grave.

a risky question spoken that could possibly change things once they're sober enough for the next morning.

it's the alcohol. blame it all on the alcohol. but she hardly gives a damn about all of it now. because she needs to know.

she badly needs to.

even if wendy were to say otherwise, she still wants to know. and she should be able to take it ― that rejection she expects worded differently. without a doubt, being intoxicated with a good amount of alcohol in her veins, and continuously with the bottle in her hand she’s still yet to finish, it should be fine. she should be fine.

"do you cross my mind that often?" wendy mirthfully repeated. not so far from sounding rather amused by the question.

"yeah?" she opened her eyes, sounding unsure with her own answer. but the same simper is still on her face as she turned her head to the raven's direction.

"so, do i?"

wendy was looking back at her. her lips pulled up into a playful smile mirroring the same glint in her eyes. oh god. the way she stares back at her. seulgi swears her heart had just stopped beating and it doesn't help that wendy's leaning against her arm for support all the while and her face is so close to her. so close she could practically feel her warm breath hitting her chin as wendy was looking back up at her. lord, her heart.

she feels so breathless under her gaze and that's the same moment she decided and more than sure herself that it's not about her expectation to be turned down that matters or whatever else there is.

nothing matters. seulgi told herself. nothing, but wendy. wendy who's looking back at her like that, again.

you're probably wondering.

she watched her scrunch her nose. her eyes narrowing as she inched closer. creases taking form on her forehead, but not lasting for so long either.<