It’s always the faintest smell that wakes him up, a sudden breeze slipping from the crack of the window and into the room. The wind brushes against the soft pillow, emitting the fruity scent that’s embedded in the layers of threads.

 

It’s a natural reflex for Yixing to jerk and groan at the smell, the memory of high pitched laughter and feline smile flashing in his mind. There’s a sudden need to touch his lover and he reaches out for that warm body. The desire only becomes stronger as his arm fails to find the familiar soft skin, or the recognizing whiny grumbles.

 

The red string tightens around his pinky, already discontent at the lack of touch, and his heart aches momentarily at the thought of not having his lover besides him. He decides to open his eyes, thinking Jongdae might be close by, but he abruptly close them again due to the bright sun shining through the blinds.  He groans in displeasure before trying again to find that familiar curve, arm flailing with no real effort, but he feels nothing.

 

He twists away from the sun’s gaze and tries to open his eyes again, this time successfully. He blinks before taking into his surroundings, familiar objects and clothes, but still no Jongdae. He’s about to pitifully whine for his lover to come back to bed, and possibly spend some time feeling that soft skin again under his fingertips, but then he remembers it, Jongdae’s not here.

 

The ache grows stronger and his red string is painfully tugging, but he can’t do anything about it. He can only sigh outloud and wills himself to not cry because CEOs’ should not cry in bed, and they should definitely not mope in bed, nope, especially when his day will be busy.

 

So he sits up from his bed, ignoring the negative feeling and stretches his arm to take a pill from his night stand. He quickly swallows it, along with a few gulps of water from his bottle. The pain in his pinky is numb now, but his heart is still aching for Jongdae’s touch. The suppressant can only do so much.

 

He drags his feet to the bathroom, yawning and sleepily blinking his eyes. It’s barely 7 am, but there is an early meeting and he needs to be in the office by 8:30.

 

He enters the bathroom and rubs his eyes, before reaching for this toothbrush. He drops a small amount of toothpaste and lazily brushes as he stares at his eyes, wondering why there are dark bags when he slept early last night.

 

The toothbrush still hangs in his mouth when he hears the first cry, and his fatherly instinct is on full force as he quickly spits and heads towards the nursery.

 

It’s not everyday that he gets to see his son at first glance. It’s usually Jongdae who picks up their son from the crib, changes the diaper and feeds him a bottle of milk. And Yixing would be the one rushing through rooms, forgetting his phone in the bathroom or accidentally wearing mismatched socks, before taking a minute to kiss his son goodbye and another two minutes holding Jongdae. It’s the little things that makes him strong enough to not want to burn his company to the ground whenever the day gets a lot rougher.

 

He’s used to that routine, so whenever Jongdae isn’t here, he’s forced to be both parents. It was hard at first, with Kyungsoo smacking his head a few times whenever he starts crying along with his son. But he’s used to it now, and he loves that moment when he can hold his son for a few minutes and whispers sweet words.

 

Anson has Yixing’s eyes, lips, nose, chubby cheeks, and even those cute dimples, but more importantly, he has Jongdae’s everything. From the familiar pout to his fearless personality, Anson achingly reminds him of Jongdae every day. Even his friends have said Ah he looks so much like you, without the irrational fear of bird. He can’t even take offense to it because he’s already immensely proud of what Anson will be like as he grows up.

 

So it’s the same familiar pout that greets him, the one Jongdae that would always use whenever Yixing disagrees with something, or when Yixing has to travel, yet again. Anson stares at him with sad eyes and that pout, whimpering for his appa to pick him up.

 

“Hi,” Yixing whispers to him before opening the blinds.

 

He takes a moment to stare at him, realizing how much his son have grown over the months. Anson used to be really tiny and Yixing would always tremble in his arms whenever he held him. Now, his son can walk and randomly say few words, but most of all, he doesn't cry anymore when his parents are gone for a day. He hates how fast things are going.

 

Still, he cherishes these moments as he picks his son up and his heart melts at the sound of a sniffle. He brushes the longs bangs off his son’s forehead as he stares at Anson’s brown eyes, identical to his own.

 

“Did you have a good sleep? A nice dream about milk, maybe?” Yixing whispers to him before walking towards the diaper station area. It’s a short walk, but he likes to prolong it so he can hold on to his son a little longer.

 

His son only blinks at the question before turning his head into Yixing’s neck, rubbing his face into it.

 

“Still sleepy, huh?” Yixing chuckles before he finds himself standing in front of the diaper station.

 

Luckily, Anson was never fussy when it comes to changing his diaper. He remains quiet with the occasional kicks, allowing Yixing to not waste so much time on this task.

 

Soon, they’re heading downstairs and Anson remains quiet as Yixing hums a familiar tune, a song that Jongdae would sing to their son during bedtime.

 

There are prepared bottles of milk in the fridge, courtesy of Kyungsoo, and Yixing can’t help but feel grateful every time. Anson is already recognizing some colors, like the blue lid of his milk bottle, so Yixing is used to his son’s begging whimpers as he places the bottle into a cup of hot water.

 

“I know baby. Just a few more minutes then you can drink your milk!”

 

Though his words are not as helpful, as Anson starts to cry and wiggles himself out of Yixing’s arm.

 

Yixing learned to not mind it as he puts his son down safely in the playpen. It took weeks in the past to not feel guilty whenever he can’t spoil his son in a whim. Jongdae was the one who taught him to be more thick skinned with their son, and that memory just brings so much ache into his heart.

 

It only takes 3-4 minutes to warm up the milk, but Yixing thinks that 10 minutes had passed by already since he can’t stand to hear his son cry. He really should be used to this by now, afterall his son would always cry in the morning. Still, he runs back to the playpen, with bottle in his hand.

 

Anson stands by the fence, eyes swollen from tears and puffy cheeks huffing out. As soon as he sees the milk, he makes a grabby gesture, and Yixing picks him up with one arm, balancing him expertly. It’s even easier to aim the bottle to his son’s mouth, who latches on and quickly on it.

 

He takes a few moment to warmly gaze at his son as the baby intends on finishing the bottle under 10 minutes. It’s quite a funny sight, and heartwarming as he chuckles at Anson’s intense expression.

 

He lets his gaze wander for a minute and sees 7:25 on a nearby clock. He resists the urge to swear and quickly brings his son upstairs.

 

Taking a shower while watching your son is a hard task when you’re new to parenthood. Luckily, Yixing is used to the idea that his son will see his private parts for now.

 

As soon as the bottle is done, Yixing puts his son down on a stationary walker, conveniently placed in the bathroom. He presses a random button, and Anson is soon distracted by the musical noise.

 

Yixing smiles at Anson’s gibberish words and coos as he unstrips quickly before heading towards the shower. It’s a quick scrub with soap along his body and an even quicker moment shampooing his hair. He aims to be finished under 5 minutes, just in case Anson manages to get out of the walker, or even touches something dangerous.

 

Luckily Anson remains in his stationary and Yixing takes the time to dry off his body. He chuckles at Anson’s expression whenever the boy stares widely at a toy that amazingly bounces back whenever he pulls at it.  Anson always get excited at new discovery and refuses to move on until he's bored of it.

 

He wraps his towel around his waist, holding the knot tightly before bending down. He drags the stationary walker into the bedroom so he can still see his son as he changes. Anson looks up at his Appa’s movement and smiles at him, giggling as if the dragging motion is supposed to be a new game.

 

A few more gibberish sounds come out and Yixing acknowledges his son with a few funny expression. He ruffles his son’s hair quickly before walking to the closet. He grabs a freshly pressed work shirt, and pants before running back to the bedroom. He takes a quick glance to see that his son is fine before he starts to dress.

 

At 8:05, Kyungsoo arrives with his personal driver and Yixing is already heading downstairs with Anson in his arms. He was running around before, forgetting to put on cologne and trying to find the other sock so it'd match this time. He also couldn't decide on ties so he grabs a few before swinging it on his shoulder.

 

“Stupid, idiotic, buffoon -- “ are the words being muttered by Kyungsoo as he walks inside. Yixing raises an eyebrow, but doesn't comment on it.

 

He should be worried that Anson would learn these bad words, but they're past that stage, when everyone including himself swears without filter.

 

Plus, everyone knows that Kyungsoo’s soulmate can be such an oblivious insensitive idiot.

 

“Good morning Kyungsoo,” he decides to say instead.

 

Kyungsoo grunts in reply before placing cups of Starbucks in the table. There are also Starbucks bags, suggesting that Kyungsoo got some breakfast food too.

 

Anson points to the cup of coffee and makes incoherent sounds, as if suggesting he wants it.

 

“No baby, that's coffee. It's bad for you,” Yixing explains in a cute tone. “Let’s get you something else.”

 

He opens the Starbucks bag and sees some sandwiches. Unfortunately, Anson is too young to actually bite into those.

 

Instead he checks the fridge and sees some packaged bread that Luhan would buy since Your place has no real snacks.

 

“Which is better for him? Red bean or chocolate?”

 

Kyungsoo stares at him judgingly, as if Yixing shouldn't even be asking this.

 

“Come on,” Yixing whines. “We're going to be late and he still needs to eat something.”

 

Anson has been stretching out his arms to grab the Starbucks bag, but it's too far for him.

 

Kyungsoo sighs, almost admitting defeat.

 

“Whichever one has less sweet contents. You really need to get Yumi noona to do groceries.”

 

“She will!” Yixing defends himself. He takes one of the packaged bread, and ripped it open. He starts to shred it in pieces so Anson can eat it easily. “It's just that I've been so busy and Anson misses his Papa so much, so I didn't get a chance to tell her to buy food.”

 

Kyungsoo doesn't buy it, but nods anyway for the sake of his job.

 

“Okay, I just need to get my stuff so watch him for a minute? Thanks.”

 

Yixing leaves before Kyungsoo could vehemently say no.

 

The younger groans in despair as he's left with a toddler who doesn't really like him. He has evidences despite Jongdae’s mocking agreements.

 

“Moe,” Anson yells out, arms stretching out. It's also evident that this one year old eats bread faster than a regular person does.

 

“No more,” Kyungsoo scolds him and Anson doesn't seem to like that reply. He already understands the words No and Yes, so he looks like he's ready to cry over this.

 

Kyungsoo didn't sign up for this.

 

***

 

When you're the son of CEO, life is pretty awesome, and it's even more awesome to hold power over pretty noonas. At least that's what Jongin would tell people. He's still upset that he lost the title of Cutest Thing Ever to some baby that doesn't even know how to talk yet.

 

“You're not that cute,” Jongin whispers to Anson as if it's a conspiracy. “Just wait until your parents have another, and suddenly, you're the replaceable child!”

 

Ansons stares at him with wide eyes before smiling widely and grabbing his cheeks.

 

“Beh!”

 

Jongin gasps in disbelief. He couldn't believe this kid is calling him that.

 

“I am not a bear! How could you say that?”

 

“Why are you so weird?” Kyungsoo asks as he enters Yixing’s office.

 

“I am not! He called me a bear! I am not fat!”

 

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at the dramatic.

 

“Soo, what time is my meeting with Kangta?” Yixing arrives with much less energy than before. That 9 am meeting was draining too much of his time.

 

“2, did you want to reschedule?” the younger asks as he drops a few files into Yixing’s desk.

 

“No, but ask him to come to my office instead. You can take your lunch break now,” Yixing tells him before noticing Anson’s happy expression. Kyungsoo is gone before he could see more unnecessary affections.

 

Meanwhile, Yixing doesn't care about his overly affectionate personality. He loves seeing his son’s excited expression whenever he returns from a meeting.

 

“Did you have fun with uncle Jongin?” Yixing asks before picking him up. He twirls him around and laughs at his son’s excited giggles.

 

He holds his son close and slowly sits down on the floor. Anson is a chatter bug when he's extremely happy and his incoherent words still make Yixing's heart grow big.

 

“Yeah, you want to learn how to talk don't you?”

 

Anson points to something behind him and Yixing turns his head to see what he's pointing at.

 

“What is it? Do you see something?”

 

The only replies he get is more gibberish.

 

“Oh! Did you find a bug? Or maybe some bunny dusts?”

 

“He just want to show you how he ruined your perfectly good walls with markers,” Jongin says with spite. “See, he doesn't even feel guilty and yet you people like him.”

 

“Aw, you ruined Appa’s wall? You want to be a drawing artist don't you?” Yixing coos.

 

He slowly stands up with Anson in his arms before bending down to see the damage in the wall.

 

Anson points to it happily, and begins to babble as if he's explaining why it's tasteful art.

 

“Well, that's just beautiful,” Yixing smooches his son’s cheek. “We should sign you up in some art classes soon.”

 

Jongin scoffs in disbelief, clearly unhappy that they won't punish Anson.

 

“Did he eat yet? What about his diaper?”

 

“No, and he made a stinky one,” Jongin says with a dramatic grossed out expression.

 

“Okay, let's get some food in your tummy” Yixing swipes his fingers along Anson’s sensitive spots. The toddler shrieks in response, but leans again towards Yixing’s hand, as if asking for more. Yixing easily complies, making Anson laughs for a while.

 

Jongin pouts at the lack of attention, unhappy that no one is paying attention to him.

 

“Hyung,” Jongin grabs Yixing’s arm. “I want to eat too.”

 

Yixing turns his head towards him and nods, rubbing Anson’s back so his son can calm down.

 

“Okay, let's go get food.”

 

***

 

Anson shrieks in laughter when uncle Key manages to grab his foot. He's trying to escape, aimlessly kicking at Key before successfully crawling away. He looks back with a gummy smile before crawling to safety, at the feet of uncle Kyungsoo.

 

“See, you're such a fun ruiner that Anson always go to you when he wants people to stop touching him,” Key teases.

 

“It’s probably because he knows that I hate kids and he likes torturing me,” Kyungsoo deadpans.

 

Anson seems to not care as he sits and tugs at Kyungsoo’s pants.

 

“You have to stop thinking that way, especially when you both decided to keep the baby,” Key reprimands

 

“Not like I had a choice,” Kyungsoo grumbles. “He wouldn't stop making those puppy eyes, and giving me ridiculous brochures on how kids make your life better.”

 

“They do, you know.”

 

“Then why don't you have some?”

 

“Because Jonghyun would rather strip on stage than pop out babies for me. If I was the carrier in this forsaken relationship, I would have a long time ago. Believe me.”

 

They both stare at each other challengingly, ignoring how Anson is begging to be picked up by Kyungsoo. It isn't until he starts whimpering and making loud breathing noises that Key immediately picks him up and shoves him into Kyungsoo’s arm.

 

“Now, don't be mean and hold him. You're chubby and short like his papa, he probably misses him a lot.”

 

Kyungsoo can only glare at him before he feels Anson’s hand on his cheek. He looks down and watches Anson’s expression. Anson stares at him intently before suddenly reaching out and grabs his glasses off his face. The action was so fast that even Kyungsoo had to laugh at the sneakiness.

 

“You're definitely not like Yixing, are you?” Kyungsoo mutters.

 

Anson replies with his own unique words before he tries to put the glasses into his face unsuccessfully. Both men can't help but laugh at that.

 

“It's too big on you.”

 

Anson doesn't care, he wants to wear glasses too. So he whimpers and swings the glasses in his hand, as if asking them to put it on him.

 

The loud bang from the door being slammed open scares both Key and Kyungsoo. Anson is still preoccupied with his glasses problems as he tries to put it on his face again.

 

“Yes! I can finally go home,” Yixing greets them with a shout and a dimpled smile.

 

“You're ruining the door, again,” Kyungsoo scolds.

 

Anson yells and struggles to get out of Kyungsoo’s arms. He pushes his body away from the hold and Kyungsoo almost drops him out of panic. His glasses fall due to the abrupt movement.

 

“See! It's like he only likes me momentarily,” Kyungsoo grumbles before passing Anson to Yixing. He picks up his glasses and puts it back on his face.

 

“What's wrong?” Yixing asks worriedly. Anson hides his face into Yixing’s neck, hands clutching at Yixing’s shirt.

 

“Probably cranky now. It's almost 6, past his bedtime right?”

 

“No, but he did wake up early,” Yixing rubs his son's back. “Can you get the driver to come around?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Anson begins to whimper loudly and Yixing can hear the beginning of a crying tantrum.

 

“What did you guys do to him?” Yixing accuses in default.

 

“Nothing!” Kyungsoo says defensively.

 

“He just wanted to try Kyungsoo's glasses, but it was too big. And then you came in and he started acting up,” Key explains.

 

“So really, it's your fault,” Kyungsoo concludes.

 

Key sends the younger a glare.

 

Yixing doesn't seem to pay attention to their banter, too busy trying to console his son.

 

“I know, appa’s tired too. Let's call papa okay? Let's see if he can sing you a song.”

 

Kyungsoo groans at that, hating how Yixing always default to Jongdae for help whenever Anson gets too cranky. He sincerely hope that his soulmate isn't as useless as Yixing when it comes to consoling tantrums.

 

Unfortunately, Jongdae isn't picking up and Anson is now crying loudly.

 

“Okay. Let's just hear Papa sing then,” Yixing tells him in a panic. He's struggling to hold his upset son while finding the song. So he passes the phone to Key.  “Can you open up the music app?”

 

“Okay, then?”

 

“It's called lullaby. It should be in recently played.”

 

The song is a childhood lullaby from when Jongdae was young, and Yixing was the one who suggested to make a studio version of it.

 

Anson seems to recognize the song immediately as he sniffles and reaches out to touch the phone.

 

“Papa,” Anson whispers and Yixing melts at the word.

 

“You want to see Papa sing it?” Yixing softly asks.

 

“You made a video of the recording?” Key asks.

 

“Yeah,” Yixing smiles dopily, recalling the memory of Jongdae singing it that day. “Oh, but don't tell him.”

 

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes in reply and Key chuckles in understanding.

 

As Yixing opens up the video and shows it to his son, the three adults are too preoccupied with their initial conversation.

 

It's only Anson that looks at the video longingly.

 

***

 

There's a certain excitement in his heart as Yixing stands in the airport the next day, waiting for Jongdae to arrive. Anson is conveniently distracted with yummy cookies that Hangeng has made, and Heechul likes to tell people that his son is better looking than Anson. Yixing doesn't pay attention to it, not when his string is tugging him strongly, a sign that Jongdae has finally landed.

 

His heart races at the idea of being able to hold his husband again, and possibly kiss him in public, uncaring of the nearby paparazzi. The only thing in his mind and heart is how much he missed him.

 

The wait feels long for him, almost like an hour, but in reality it was short.

 

At first glance of brown mop hair, Yixing starts to pass through the crowd, unable to wait any longer. He ignores the stares and the curious questions, and finally, finally, takes Jongdae into his arms for a crushing hug. The loud laughter rings into his ear, as if Jongdae finds him to be completely ridiculous, but Yixing doesn't care.

 

The red string thrums and his heart leaps once he finally claims those lips again. Soft, pliant and completely his, and it just feels so right to be able to do this again.

 

“I love you,” the words spill out in the middle of their kiss.

 

It reminds Yixing of years ago when he said it for the first time.

 

“I love you too,” Jongdae replies in a much softer, shyer tone.

 

Despite having heard it so many times, his reaction is always the same. A leap in his heart and lust thrumming in his veins.

 

It's only the whistling of some people and possibly Heechul’s Get off my brother that causes Yixing to finally pull back.

 

Jongdae laughs nervously at everyone's attention and look down to the floor.

 

“Don't be mean,” Hangeng tells Heechul, after smacking his head.

 

Jongdae looks up once he feels Yixing's arm around him, and the subtle kiss to his hair.

 

“You know who else missed you?” Yixing asks teasingly.

 

“Oh, did Jonghyun come too?” Jongdae replies teasingly.

 

Yixing scoffs at that, hating that Jongdae knows his insecurities as well.

 

“Way to ditch me,” Baekhyun greets them with a frown.

 

Jongdae sticks his tongue out in retaliation.

 

“And carry your bag. It's ing heavy,” Baekhyun complains again in a huff before throwing it to Yixing.

 

Yixing groans and holds it in his arms.

 

“So, how was the trip?” Hangeng asks curiously to both Baekhyun and Jongdae.

 

“Great.”

 

“Horrible.”

 

Both replies cause their friends to laugh.

 

“Why horrible?” Yixing asks to Baekhyun.

 

“He got sunburn like a true tourist.”

 

“Hmph,” Baekhyun huffs. “You didn't even wake me up to remind me to reapply.”

 

“It's like you don't know how evil I am.”

 

***

 

It's not until later on when they meet with Anson that Yixing realizes that his family is only complete with Jongdae in it.

 

They've left Anson with Kyungsoo and Minseok in another waiting area. Jongdae couldn't wait to see his little boy again.

 

At first sight of Anson, Jongdae squats a few feet away while everyone watches their interactions.

 

“Hi.” Jongdae calls out to Anson and Minseok was the one who pointed towards Jongdae.

 

Anson turns around and makes a small gasp, enough for the crowd to chuckle to.

 

Jongdae put out his arms, signaling Anson to come run to him. Except they all know that Anson is too scared to walk without support. So the boy turns to Minseok, signaling his uncle to bring him to his papa.

 

“No, come on. You can do it,” Jongdae insists.

 

Anson doesn't listen and whimpers at Minseok to carry him.

 

It's not until the first teardrop that Jongdae gives up. He picks him up and hold him tightly.

 

“I missed you so much,” Jongdae tells him in a raspy tone. There are tears building up in his eyes, but he refuses to let them drop.

 

Instead he kisses every surface of Anson’s face, causing the toddler to squirm after a while.

 

Yixing comes up to them and kisses Jongdae's forehead and ruffles Anson’s hair.

 

***

 

The next day feels even better as Yixing is able to find Jongdae at first touch. The soft skin glides easily against his fingers and he traces the subtle muscle in his stomach. He lowers his touch and feels the fading scar, the proof that Anson was born from Jongdae. His husband may hate how it looks, and always flinches when Yixing pays too much attention to it, but to Yixing, it's his favorite part. The fact that Jongdae willingly carried Anson for months and took care of him in an amazing way caused his heart to swell and melt.

 

Jongdae is perfect in every way, even if he's being too biased about it.

 

“Stop touching it,” Jongdae whines in a raspy voice.

 

Yixing can only chuckle in reply.

 

“I miss holding you like this,” he admits.

 

“Hmm, me too,” the younger replies.

 

There's a moment of silence before Yixing finds himself unable to contain the feeling.

 

“Can I touch you now?”

 

Jongdae laughs and nudges Yixing to move away a little. He turns to the other side so he can see his husband better.

 

“It's not even a day yet and you can't even resist touching me in a ual way.”

 

Yixing leans in and kisses his collarbone.

 

“I can't help it. You're too y for me.”

 

Jongdae scoffs.

 

“And so good to me,” he mutters against his skin.

 

“What if, you can blow me, but you don't get anything in return?” The younger teases.

 

“Anything you want baby.”