FIN
You And Me, And The SunriseTHE BEGINNING
Our university is one of the biggest in the country, so I felt like it was really destiny for us to be able to meet each other even before the time that we were supposed to. But of course, nothing is perfect in this world. Even if I see you as the one perfect for me, and I know that I can be the perfect one for you, it hurts me to know that I came in to your life when your heart was hanging on for someone else.
It was as cliche as the next romantic comedy that will show in the cinema. You were playing with your group of friends and I wasn't looking at the direction I'm walking at because I was talking to my friends too and we bumped to each other. We were exchanging apologies like any normal people would do in that situation but what wasn't normal was the attraction I had towards you. It must not be love at first sight, because I don't believe in that, but the pull you had in me was definitely strong. I was with a number of friends and you were with yours, but I only saw you and you alone. We parted ways that time, but your face was stuck in my head, and I know that I have to get your name.
My friends observed that I kept on making us pass by that table under that huge tree in the school grounds just to see you. It's either you were there, hanging out with your group of friends, or walking around the campus with that tall, lanky brunette. For a time I wondered if you are already together. The more I observed you and that guy, the more that it seemed like it. I couldn't come up to you and randomly introduce myself if you already had a boyfriend right? And what will I say? Hi, I was the one who bumped into you a month ago, my name's Siwon. Haha! That's embarrassing. I can imagine a confused look in your face if ever that happens.
I was content in just looking at you from afar, when Donghae and Eunhyuk told me that they know Henry Lau, who was one of the group of friends you were hanging out with. Henry invited them over to have lunch with them and they okayed, thinking that I should be glad to be able to meet you at last. Sure, at least I'd be your friend, was what I thought.
And so the day came. I was with Eunhyuk, Donghae, Sungmin and Kibum. You were already there in your usual table with your friends who later I'd know to be Heechul who was also your cousin, Ryeowook, Leeteuk, Kangin and Henry.
Yesung, what a beautiful name. It slips perfectly in my mouth. I felt so happy finally putting a name in that beautiful face. I shook your hand and I felt butterflies in my stomach. Your smile and your touch... It awakened me. I don't know if I was obvious, but I really didn't care.
When we found out that Sungmin and Ryeowook are also already friends from a school club, you exclaimed, "What a small world!" finding it amusing. And then Kyuhyun, the brunette beside you who at that time I thought was your boyfriend, asked if I was the one who bumped into you some months ago. I was surprised that he remembered that. You didn't remember me however. What a bummer.
THE PROBLEM
Weeks passed by and we found ourselves being welcomed by your group. I, myself, kept on coming back to that table under the tree whenever I had a spare time even if Eunhyuk and Donghae are not with me. I'd like to think that I was already a friend. Heechul became close to me easily. Leeteuk was definitely welcoming too.
There was a moment when after we connected through instagram, I stalked over your posts. There was definitely a lot of selcas with Kyuhyun in it. What is there to do then? I was left to just look at you.
Then there was that moment when Heechul teased you and me. I felt uncomfortable because I still thought that you and Kyuhyun are an item.
"You aren't t-together?", I clarified.
Kyuhyun snorted. You said a small "no.."
"I told you to leave Yesung alone sometimes because everyone will think that you're his boyfriend!" Heechul said towards Kyuhyun. The latter just chuckled. I thought I saw a flicker of hurt in his face, but it could have just been my imagination since it was gone before a second.
"Tell your cousin that. He's the one who's always following me"
"Yah! You brat!" Yesung exclaimed, hitting Kyuhyun in the head.
I was so relieved that day. I felt like a whole new world opened up to me. I felt hope. I felt like the sun has risen again after a long time.
I was sure that I'd want to pursue you right there and then. I want to show you that I care for you, not just as a friend. I want for you to see me as a man, and as someone who you can lean on to. I want you to know me more, and I want to know every little about you. I want to take care of you.
Because in the following days that I was able to hang out with you guys, I found myself falling more for you. You were a creature of irony because you looked like an angel but you're spoiled. And I wanted to be the one to spoil you and gave you things that you want, every time of the day. Your face is pure innocence and purity but your words are almost always accompanied with swear words, much like your cousin Heechul, but it comes off as less vile because it doesn't seem like you mean them. You always try and make people laugh but your jokes aren't good, same as me, but at the times that you do not try, people will find you hilarious, and there you are not understanding why the others laughed. Your laughter is contagious, but so is your bad mood. And in all of these that I know now of you, I am definitely more interested.
"Stop staring stupidly at my cousin and just go ask for a date" Heechul said, cutting me off from my daydream. I didn't realize I had been staring at you from across the table as I was imagining a future of us as together. I cowed down in embarrassment.
The thing was that I didn't know how to start making my moves. Aside from the random times of me trying to take care of you as much as I can with the limited time that we are together, it proved to be difficult with your 'bestfriend' around. It's basically 'Kyuhyun is always with Yesung. Yesung is always with Kyuhyun.'
You guys are like unofficially together. It pained me to see how close you both are. There's Like a huge wall separating you from all of us. I felt like I was trying to climb a mountain, while you and Kyuhyun are in the other side. You've met each other only some two years ago, but I felt like I already came so late.
You have this thing of tilting your head, your hand in your chin, your eyes concentrated towards the person talking. Well, you don't do that to everybody actually. You only have that look when Kyuhyun is talking. You have that certain look. It always breaks my heart when I see you like that. It tells me that Kyuhyun is definitely miles ahead of me. How do I compete with the bond that you already have with him? Should I even try and start running towards you? Will your heart still let me enter?
I actually don't understand why you aren't together as lovers. Because the feelings I see that you hold for Kyuhyun is definitely not one-way. I see that he likes you back. I actually believe that he loves you. So why are you still 'just bestfriends'?
It's the strongest reason as to why I am hesitant to confess to you. Because I can see Kyuhyun's affection towards you too. And Kyuhyun is a good man. I can see that he cares for you so much. So who am I to try and go between the two of you?
THE SOLUTION
I was trying to be okay to be just your friend. I can still take care of you from the sidelines anyway. Sure, I see you two and it hurts me, but the want to be with you and to spend time with you is way more than any issues I have against seeing you together.
One night however, stars seemed to align to my favor. I didn't know what I did in my past life as to why I am so blessed in this lifetime. I realized that even if we didn't bumped to each other that one time before, we'd still meet each other anyway.
My parents told me that I have to go with them in a party. I didn't have any idea at all that it was in relation to a merger that the company was going to do in the eventual future. Heechul has mentioned it before at our table, how the company of your parents are in the talks of having this huge merger with another huge company. I never imagined that it would be the between the companies of our parents.
You already invited us over one time when your parents were abroad and we had a pool party. That was why I got so excited when our car stopped in front of your house.
I first saw Kyuhyun when I arrived, and then you. I was with my parents, who were welcomed by both your parents, when you saw me and you broke into a smile. You probably didn't expect that I'll be here by chance. I was all smiles as well, because, of course, what are the odds?
I waved at you guys and Ryeowook and Kyuhyun waved back. Heechul and you came over. Heechul was the one who explained that we already know each other from school. Our parents were pleased, and that is even an understatement. I heard your dad saying something in the lines of "this makes everything easier then!" And I thought, is that about the merger?
The parents told you guys to bring me with you as they talked business. Heechul went to the table first and we walked together. I heard our parents saying that we look good together. I smiled at that, but I didn't think you heard. Or if you did, you didn't mind it.
I sat in the empty chair in the table as I nodded to the others. You protested that Heechul took your seat, which was in Kyuhyun's left side. Heechul then told you to sit in the other chair, which was the one beside me. And so you did. So you were seated in my left, and Kyuhyun's right side. Heechul opened up the topic of the business venture our parent's companies are to do. He also bluntly said that our parents may be thinking of marrying us off to strengthen the merging of the two companies. I didn't know how to react because of course a part of me thinks that it was a great idea. You, however, seemed pissed hearing that.
"That's so outdated!" Ryewoook said.
"It's still a possibility" Heechul shrugged.
While you were playfully fighting with Heechul, and Ryeowook taking your side, I observed that Kyuhyun was silent and seems to be in deep thought.
Later, I wished that Heechul never brought the marriage stuff because it might have made you very uncomfortable. It was clear that you won't look at my eyes when we talk. I felt sad but I understood, in some level. You didn't feel the same way as I do, that was why you didn't take that conversation in the same way as I did too.
I went home together with my parents. Ryeowook invited me to stay behind because they'll stay for a sleep-over, but seeing that you weren't as warm towards me as the usual, I politely declined and said that I had things to do.
I was about to put that behind me when one day, we met each other again in a hotel restaurant. You were with your parents and I was with mine. They explained to us that it would be the greatest idea if we try and know each other by dating, and see if we can actually get together and be lovers. It was the most uncomfortable lunch ever. And the bad feeling I had inside me was doubled when I can see clearly in your face that you were opposed to the idea. You didn't really voiced it out but I knew.
Our parents, in fairness to them, asked us if we already were in a relationship. I said no. You said no. That was why they were more eager with their idea. They said that they weren't forcing us, but merely telling us to try.
Back at the school, we tried to act normally before each other. I seriously didn't know what to do.
Then one day, I realized that you and Kyuhyun seemed to be... in a 'falling out', for the lack of better term. He still comes by the table. You also do. But I don't see you walking together along the corridor or anywhere in the campus like you used to. Something must have happened.
Days passed when Heechul came up to me and told me to make my move. He said that I should just try, just like what our parents want.
"Obviously, you like Yesung too. So take this as hitting two birds with one stone. You're being a filial son, and you are taking a chance for yourself too"
"I don't know... It might ruin the friendship ---"
"Blah blah friendship my . Man up ok? My thumbs up is on you so don't disappoint me. He's super devastated now, don't ask me why", he said with a hand raised up to my face seemingly saying 'stop'. "But anyway, I feel like you can make him happy, you know?" he continued.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence" I tell him smiling, but still not entirely sold.
"Imma let you in some inside info. My cousin's crazy for anything turtle-related, I know, weird right?"
I remembered the turtle keychains in Yesung's and Kyuhyun's phones.
"...and his favorite flower is that ugly sunflower"
And so, I did what I did.
One day I bought a land turtle and gave it to you, with a note asking that you go out with me even just for one date. You were smiling so widely when you saw the turtle and you kept on asking if it was really for you. I thought I already saw all the different faces you show with your very expressive face and eyes, but at that time I realized that an excited-Yesung is one if my favorite you. I have to tell you to read the note plastered with the turtle when you were busy blurting out weird names you want to give to it. Ryeowook was beside you and he read the note too. The table then was in a chaos, Eunhyuk and Donghae catcalling, Henry clasping my shoulders saying "at last!", Heechul laughing out loud, Ryeowook telling you to say yes. I was there hanging on for your answer, and was so relieved that you said yes.
"But I'll choose where we'll go ok?"
"Sure!" I said too quickly.
"Oh gods, first date and you're already so whipped!" Kangin said, clearly amused.
We went to a night market. It was so lively with small time businessmen selling lots of things. There was also a line of streetfoods. It was my first time coming to a place like this. I had to park away because the car cannot pass by the small roads leading to the place. I was surprised that you know that place and you hang out in it, but realized that it was Kyuhyun who brought you here. Kyuhyun was not, in a sense, like us. I found that out eventually when we all had a night-out together all eleven of us. And in the succeeding night-outs we had. Kyuhyun would always decline but you'd insist that he comes. And then, you always cover for Kyuhyun's expenses. This is of course done subtly, but because I observe you closely, I came to know of it. Kyuhyun isn't like most of us here who are sons of people who owns companies, it seemed. Later, I found out that Kyuhyun entered the university through a scholarship. I liked you more because of the fact that you are close to him, meaning that social standing does not mean anything to you.
After some food and drinks in our supposed 'first date' which admittedly were delicious for such a cheap price, my stomach hurt and you panicked because I was vomiting in a nearby comfort room. You didn't know what to do because I cannot make myself walk towards where we parked, so it seemed like you called Kyuhyun up. He arrived some minutes after and he brought us to his place because it was nearby. His place was small and cozy. The living room and the kitchen together was just the same size as my room. That was probably why he was hesitant to bring me there. But he did and I was thankful that he made me rest there and helped me be comfortable. He helped me up and gave me medicine. I was embarrassed that you guys have to take care of me like that. And I can see that you were so worried for me.
Kyuhyun's mom was so nice towards me too. It was therefore not a surprise to see that you very close to her. You talked and interacted like you were her own son. I looked at the three of you and I felt jealousy. It was one of the proof of the deep bond between you and Kyuhyun. Something that I wanted for myself with you too.
We had our second date and that time I was the one who prepared everything. I pushed you into saying yes by guilting you about what happened to me in our first date.
I made sure that I bought you outfits to your liking which is sufficient for an overnight stay, asking for Heechul's help. I also asked for your parents' consent because I know they wouldn't probably appreciate me kidnapping you even if they actually want me to be your boyfriend. And, funnily, that was your actual caption when you posted on your instagram a picture of us with the sunflower field in the background, that I kidnapped you, haha. I took you to Thailand through a private plane. You were in the mix of disbelief and confusion, but you got so happy when you we arrived at our destination. It was already in the afternoon when we arrived in the fields because it was around 3 hours away from Bangkok.
I felt happy too because I was able to make you genuinely glad. You took lots of pictures of the sunflowers. I took lots of pictures of you too. Then we took pictures too. One you uploaded said: "He kidnapped me!!! But we're here sunflower paradise, so it's definitely ok. One for the books ^^ Thank yooou, S"
Aside from that thank you on your SNS, you also thanked me in person. You hugged me and I felt the world stopped. Your body in mine fit so perfectly, your scent drove me insane for a while, I wanted to hold you like that forever.
When we came back, I took you home. It was already nighttime the next day so I told you that I'll just drop you off. I said that I won't meet your parents anymore and you can go inside and rest. You were waiting for someone to open the gate from the inside and I waited for you to get in when you went up to me, raised your heels a bit, whispered a thank you and kissed my cheeks. The gate opened and you hopped inside leaving me dazed feeling like I'm in heaven.
And that was just two of the many 'friendly' dates we had. 'Friendly' because we never talked about being in a relationship. We were just enjoying each other's company.
Then there came a time that I told you how I felt for you. That I actually want you to be with me, not just because of what our parents tell us, but because I really like you for the longest time. That I want for you to give me a chance to prove myself. You stuttered and told me that you aren't ready for a relationship.
This became a recurring thing between us, but it didn't stop me from asking for your time. You try and stop me from pursuing you but that was too late at that time. I already put my mind to it. I am fighting to get you, whatever it takes, and however much it may hurt me later.
One day, I asked further, "It's because someone else is in your heart right?". I was thinking of Kyuhyun and with the look in your face, I know I was right. Your eyes widened a bit, but you didn't reply.
So I continued with my piece, "It's ok. Because I am ready to fight my way to get your affection Yesung-ah." I reached out to caress your cheeks. "Even if it's against you, you know?" I gave out a chuckle.
You may be persistent in pushing me away, but the good thing is that I am as stubborn as you, if not more. "I'll work hard so that you can decide to give me a chance, a full chance to your heart..."
THE AFTERMATH
I received a message from Kyuhyun to go to a park and get you. I stopped whatever I was doing and immediately went to the address he gave, worrying and wondering if something happened to you. When I arrived, I saw you two in a bench sitting side by side, looking ahead to a beautiful sunset. I didn't want to bother the two of you seeing that you must be having a moment of your own. But minutes already passed and you both were just looking at the sun setting in the horizon. So I decided to call Kyuhyun's number.
Kyuhyun said that he has to go somewhere so he cannot take Yesung home. You didn't seem to know that he contacted me, but you didn't protest.
That night I let you do all the things you wanted to do. It felt like you want to do everything that makes you happy, so I stayed by your side as you went through all of them. You asked if I have anything important to do for the night and I said no. In my mind I thought that well of course, you are the most important in my life now.
We ate at your favorite restaurant. It has become my favorite sushi bar too, thanks to you. We went to a videoke place where sang and danced and just goofed around together. It was the first time I did that with you alone, because before it has always been with our friends. I didn't know it could be that fun even with just two people. You then bought a number of comforters and pillows, which confused me, but you just smiled and said that you have a plan. Later, we arranged those at the back of my pick-up truck. We went to a nearby hill where we parked and stayed at the back of the truck looking at the stars. We talked and talked. We had good music keeping us company. And we got juices and chocolates and chips so that we won't get hungry.
It was nearing midnight and we both were kinda sleepy, when you cried. I hugged you without even knowing why you were crying. I didn't ask, not wanting to impose, but I did have some idea. This was what you were trying not to do since the moment we saw each other in the park earlier. I just let you cry your heart out. It was hurting me seeing you cry but I knew that you just had to let it out. There was a part of me who was glad, in some crazy way, because I was the one with you that time. I felt like you were really opening up to me already. Sure, you didn't exactly tell me why you were crying but I understand. Baby steps. At least, I am here with you and you're comfortable enough and leaning on me. I held in my heart so preciously the fact that you trust me this much already.
It was probably around 5:30 AM when I woke up. I saw you already sitting down and looking at the horizon. I sat up too and looked at your side profile. You were so beautiful, I cannot help but stare.
"The sunrise is so pretty", you said. That was the time when I looked at the sun rising. It was indeed beautiful. And you are beautiful. And how I am feeling towards you now is beautiful. I was so overwhelmed with the feeling, I was about to burst.
"I think I am in love", I voiced out.
"You think?" You said it with a smirk. But you were still staring at the sunrise.
"No, I'm sure... I am very much in love."
"That's great!"
"Don't you want to know who?"
You turned your gaze at me and you gave a knowing smile, "I'd be really pissed if you tell me a name that isn't me"
I chuckled at that. "If you think I have another name in my mind, then you haven't been paying attention", I said as I caressed you face. I see you blushing and trying so hard to hide a smile. "From the day I saw you I've wanted nothing but to know your name. And when I did know it, it never left my mind anymore..."
"Damn you're so cheesy"
"You better get used to it", I said with a wink.
-------------
END
-------------
Or not? Haha.
Should I write another perspective in here too?
Hmmmm
Yesung's? Kyuhyun's?
Comments