2008

"Yah Seulgi-ah!" Jaebum screamed as he hit the window of the cab. "Seulgi-ah talk to me please"

"Ahjussi, please let's leave now" I said to the cab driver, not daring to look at Jaebum. My heart was breaking, I'm actually breaking up with my first love. The boy that was always there for me.

"Mianhe, Jaebumie. Mianhe" I said as I cried myself not bothering that the taxi driver is looking at me with is judging eyes.

"Seulgi!" Jaebum was running trying to catch my cab but ofcourse he failed. He could not catch up.

I already signed under SM Entertainment and itwas strictly indicated in my contract that I should nor be romantically affliated with anyone. At first I tried to hide my relationship with Jaebum but one of the casting managers found out and told me that if I didn't break up with him, I will be dismissed as a trainee.

2009

f(x) had already made their debut, I am not a part of it. I won't be debuting in the near future perhaps 2-3 years more. Have faith, Seulgi, you're time will come.

2012

I am so exhausted, the anxiety of will I ever debut is starting to hit me like crazy. I have been training for 4 years now. Most of the time I just want to pack all my stuff, run away and go home but then I realized what I have to sacrifice just so I can be a trainee. No my Dad, wants be to become an idol, he's working hard to pay for my training and give allowance just so I can live comfortably. I left the love of my life for this. "Seulgi-ah, hwaiting!" I said out loud.

I was walking by Myeongdong when I saw an ad which shuttered my world. "Jaebum will be debuting as an actor?" I murmured to myself completely shocked when I saw the trailer of Dream High 2. It's been years since I last saw him, but I am very sure that the person I saw on the large monitor was Im Jaebum, my Jaebum. I quickly grabbed my phone and searched it on the internet.

"Unnie!"

"Omo seulgi-ah you startled me" Irene said.

"Unnie, look at this" I said rushing to give my phone to her.

"Im Jaebum will be debuting with the screen name JB and will be a part of JYP Entertainment's new duo - JJ Project" Irene gave my phone back to me. She then pulled me into a hug. "Seulgi-ah, it's okay" She said as she ran her fingers through my hair as I find myself crying in her embrace. It was Irene unnie, who I can tell all my worries in life, she practically became my sister ever since she entered SM Entertainment.

I found myself watching every episode of Dream High 2 skipping the all those lovey-dovey parts of Jaebum, of course.

"I don't get it while you're still watching him when you get sad after every episode" Irene said.

"I feel like this is the only way so I can fully move on. If I see him everyday, I will get sick of him" I said. But no it didn't work, it just made me miss him more.

Should I try going to their fan signing? I made a very brave and bold move to attend to one of JJ Project's fansign event. I was lucky to get in and meet them. I turn was getting nearer and I am getting nervous. Will he recognize me? or will he pretend to not know me?

"Seulgi. Kang Seulgi" I said when Jr asked for my name, Jaebum immediately turned to me when I said my name. I can tell right away that he was shocked, but I can't tell whether he was excited to see me or was he disappointed? He just gave me this cold look that I have never seen before.

"Here you go, Seulgi-shi" Jr said as he gave me my album back. I thanked Jr and went next to Jaebum.

"Annyeonhaseyo" I greeted him.

"Annyeong Seulgi-shi" he said. It so obvious that he was just trying to be polite. I couldn't even open my mouth, the speech that I was trying to make in my head while waiting for my turn is gone. He didn't even bother looking at my again while he was signing his album. He could have just atleast smiled at me you know? I'm a fan right now, not the Seulgi that you knew before.

"Argh" I groaned frustratedly. 

Seulgi, he already treated you as a stranger. Now, let's move on. From then I no longer monitored JJ Project's activities and fully concentrated on my training.

2013

"I see you working hard there" Kai said as he entered the practice room.

"Oh Kai, you're here"

"Yeah, I can see that you lost weight" Kai said as he sat on the couch.

"I'm okay"

"Let's go" Kai said as he pulled me out of the building.

"You're crazy, what if people would recognize you and create a rumor that you're dating me?"

"It's okay people don't know you anyway" Kai said.

"Yah - Kim Jong-in!" I said to the laughing person beside me. "I'll debut too... hopefully" I said looking at the stars above. The late night breeze of Han River always calms my nerves and soothes my stress away. "Why did you ask me to go here anyway?" 

"To eat ramyeon"

"Oh really? Your treat!" I said with glee. It's one of my rebellious acts, to have midnight snacks here at Han River. I do it whenever I feel frustrated. "That was delicious!" I said as I slurped the last drop of the soup.

"Oh Junior-ah!" Kai said to the man approaching us. He greeted him a handshake and a hug. This guy looks familiar.

"What are you doing here?" Kai asked.

"Well, Jaebum hyung wanted to eat so we decided to go here" Jr answered. "How about you hyung?"

"Same just wanted and catch up with an old friend" He said while pulling me infront of Junior.

"Oh, you're Junior from JJ Project?" I said as I bowed infront of him.

"Yes, I am. And you are?"

"Seulgi, Kang Seulgi" I answered with a smile. Although hidden behind my smile, is anxiety and hope that his partner would not show up.

"You're pretty. Are you hyung's girlfriend?" Jr asked.

"Jinyoung-ah!" It was Jaebum who was approaching us who looked like he just finished buying food for them.

"Jaebum you're here too" Kai said as he greeted Jaebum.

"Oh annyeong. What are you doing here? Are you here with the other members as well?" he asked.

"Kai hyung is on a date with a pretty girl" Jr teased.

"Jaebum, this is Seulgi. Kang Seulgi" I froze the moment our eyes met. Oh no, I don't want him to get the wrong idea that Kai and I are together.

"Annyeonghaseyo" I greeted him awkwardly.

"Ye - annyeong" He greeted coldly. Again, I feel like him greeting me is just a responsibility for him. He looked so burden whenever he sees me.

Damn it Kang Seulgi, what actually happened. Atleast, I got to see him again, but he thinks that Kai and I are dating, andeeee! I got home and tried to stalk him again for the longest time. I actually found out that JJ Project went on hiatus after a few months of promoting.

It's the most wonderful time of the year! It's Christmas time, finally off to my hometown.

"Appa, Omma!" I excitedly jumped and gave them a hug.

I made sure to tell my family everything that happened to me while I'm away.

"Before I forget, I think you need to go here" My mom said as she handed an inivtation