You must forgive yourself but do not forget.

It's because sometimes, the mistakes of the past becomes the strongest foundation of a new beginning.

Baekhyun is living his full of regrets. Had been dealing with all the aftermaths. He was afraid. He had always been afraid of consequences. And it was something weird because he played a dare that has the biggest bet.

In the dead of the night, when everything is quiet, silence becomes the loudest noise he could hear. It screams pain, longing and sadness and no matter how hard he tries to cover his ears, it wasn’t enough. I t was never enough.

”Don't burden yourself about me anymore”

It’s not easy, especially when he's still in love. How do people move on when they are the ones who caused it? How do people forget when they are the ones who started it?

“How can I?” And he sighed. He wanted to give up already but he can’t. Regardless of the dreadful struggles, he wanted her back. It will kill them both, but it will be worth the risk, right?

It surely will.

And yet, deep inside his heart, he yearned for more than just the memories. No matter how painful, he hopes for it to be real again.

There were nights, when everything is dark, the sky is pitch-black and there were no lights to highlight the abyss, he would see her eyes sparkling brighter than the stars can be. It was beautiful that it deceives him because for every time he tries to be near, it will suddenly become a sight he wanted to avoid. Her eyes reflect nothing but those sadness, the anger for being betrayed and the pain of enduring everything he had done.

In his dreams, he would see her. She will smile at him and when Baekhyun would smile back, gone was those sweet smile and replaced with strangled sobs, a bitter smile, and whimpers on her quivering lips.

As he opens his eyes, a sight of her laughing wholeheartedly will make him smile unknowingly. He could hear Camille’s laughed, so pure it was. Consciously, he will observe her and a glimpse from her heart would rip everything apart again. He can see it vividly, the scars and bruises at her heart. And it will remind him again of everything. He was the one who did that.

He already regretted cheating on her. Regret for allowing temptation get to him. Regret for letting his love for Camille slipped away.

Truthfully, he tried. He tried to forget and begin again but for every time he thought he’s succeeding, he always find himself going back into dust again. That for every time he thought he can finally move forward, guilt pushes him back.

He felt so lost now, straying in this vast of emptiness.

Dear Camille,

          If I were to begin again, will you be there if I ask?

_____________________________________________

“I promise to let the love shine above us”

It did. It really did shine. Their love were brighter than the sun, much starry than the sky. But when the sun disappeared over the horizon, so does the love they tried so hard to keep.

Camille knew that the love they had was just ordinary. The typical love story people can witness nowadays. But now, it was already a history of them, written in italics. Pictures of time, buried as memories. It was a past that’s unworthy for when it did she became more broken than before.

They say it’s not the break up that hurts but the flashback that follows.

And she was shattered; broken into pieces. Imprisoned by the powerful feeling. She was chained, soul tied to him. Promises were carved on her mind that forgetting it became the hardest thing to do.

But Camille run, tried to stay away from all the memories. Tried to forget everything because all those blissful moment she had with him is killing her softly, digging much deeper than it did. Scarring her more.

She did her best to forget. To get the freedom she wanted when she let Baekhyun go;  to begin a new life too, to pick up all her broken pieces.

And yet, here she was, still the same. Never changing, never mending. It’s because of her for Baekhyun that always holds her back. Always keeping her still. Always caging her.

What can she do?

This is all because she’s a coward. This is because of her heart yearning for him. Craving to taste again the love they once had.

Every time she took a step away, she found herself coming back. And she will begin questioning herself over and over.

If she had been a better wife, would Baekhyun cheat? What went wrong with them? What did she do wrong? When will this pain end?

Camille had been searching for the right path