“hyung.”

yoongi looks up from his laptop screen, one hand unhooking his headphones, to see a teary-eyed taehyung tugging at his sleeve. his action is immediate; closing his laptop and placing it on the coffee table in front of him, shifting to one side of the couch and patting the spot next to him. taehyung sits down without hesitation, long arms winding around yoongi’s shoulders, face pressed into the crook of his neck.

yoongi lets one of his arms come up to the small of the younger’s back, the one carding gently through his hair.

“was it hoseok?”

a shake of the head, fingers curling tighter into yoongi’s shirt.

“jiminie?”

a shaky laugh. “n– no way…”

yoongi sighs, rolling soothing circles against taehyung’s shirt. “kookie?”

the younger boy stiffens and yoongi knows he’s hit the mark.

“what did he do this time”?”

“he w—”

“hey.”

yoongi looks up at the familiar voice, coming face to face with his less-than-happy boyfriend.

he feels taehyung’s arms fall from his shoulders as the younger quickly untangles himself. “namjoon-hyung.”

“tae.”

namjoon’s tone is clipped, sharp and short, and yoongi frowns, just as another figure comes hurtling into the living room.

“joon-hyung!”

he can feel taehyung stiffen beside him as jungkook knocks namjoon over, arms around his neck.

it all looks so horribly scripted that yoongi has to force himself to keep from rolling his eyes, shifting off the side and putting as much distance as possible between him and taehyung.

namjoon chances a glance at yoongi, noting the apparent lack of emotion, and wraps his arms around jungkook’s waist, glancing up again.

it’s a game yoongi’s unwilling to play, and he stands up, walking away from them with barely a second glance.

 

“well that didn’t work…”

namjoon rolls over onto his back, unwrapping his arms from around jungkook’s waist as the maknae sighs. “hyung, for such a responsible leader you sure are childish when it comes to yoongi hyung…”

“yeah but, i never get to hug him anymore.”

namjoon’s voice is pitched, whiny, and jungkook resists the urge to slap some sense into their leader, instead pushing himself into a sitting position and patting namjoon’s hair with a slight smirk playing on the edge of his lips.

“yeah, but, there’s plenty else you guys do way often that we would never be able to.”

he flinches in anticipation for the punch that never comes. instead, namjoon rolls over in defeat. “maybe he should just date one of you guys. i’ll just be his pet dog or something.”

jungkook bites back a laugh, sighing. “at least then maybe someone could hold some control over you.”

namjoon rolls over again, away from jungkook and onto his side. “i just… want to feel… cared about . i always make sure he knows i love him and…” namjoon trails off and jungkook shifts uncomfortably – he’s never been good with tears and it sounds like namjoon might be on the verge of crying. namjoon sighs. “i literally am like a pet dog.”

“hyung,” jungkook starts, exasperated, “of course he cares about you.”

he gets a shake of the head in return and jungkook brings his hand down on namjoon’s thigh, seniority be damned. “wake the  up hyung.”

namjoon groans, pushing himself off the floor. “he doesn—”

 

he’s cut off be the reappearance of one very pissed, very angry min yoongi, practically bowling namjoon over and peppering kisses on and around the younger’s wind-chapped lips.

“you— in’— idiot —”

namjoon gapes back at yoongi in blatant surprise, eyebrows pinching into a frown. “i— you’re the idiot !”

he half expects yoongi to give up, push himself off and walk away, but the older merely shakes his head, looking down at him in disbelief, the edges of something heartbreakingly fond playing across his features.

“iq of 148 and he thinks i don’t in’ love him.”

namjoon will never admit to the flush that blooms across his cheeks, will never admit the way he reflexively reaches for yoongi’s hand the same time the older reaches for his.

“i thought you’re meant to be smart , joonie?”

namjoon groans and looks away with something close to a pout and yoongi resists the urge to coo at how adorable their usually-mature leader looks.

“mm… i know you do…” namjoon mutters eventually, still not looking at yoongi, “... ‘s just different.”

yoongi sighs, bending down to press his lips against namjoon’s neck, softly, experimentally. when namjoon makes no move to pull away, he starts trailing kisses down the curve, featherlight brushes of skin on skin. “different how?”

namjoon hums quietly in response, arms coming up to wrap around the older and press their chests together in a close embrace. “... ’cause,” he mumbles into the cotton of his t-shirt, “it’s like you like making me jealous…”  

yoongi sighs, again, burying his head against the crook of namjoon’s neck. “i don’t like making you jealous, babe. but tae was upset and you know how he gets when he’s upset.” he brings one hand up, running his fingers gently through the younger’s bleach-blonde hair. “c’mon joonie. where’d all your intelligence go? i don’t hug tae to make you jealous .”

namjoon nods, the movement imperceptible if yoongi hadn’t been pressed so close against him, arms slacking slightly but staying around yoongi’s waist. “yeah… i know,” he sighs, chest rising and falling. “it’s just… i miss you. ”

yoongi closes his eyes, tries to ignore the implication behind the words, tries to pretend he hasn’t been feeling the same. because they have schedules and commitmentsand five other members to think about and they can’t afford to slip up. they have, already, plenty of times. whenever they let their gazes linger a heartbeat too long during a live broadcast, whenever they smile just a little bit too wide when the other enters the room, when they forget to return each other’s clothes, wearing them to radio shows and live performances.

yoongi laces their fingers together and rolls circles into the back of namjoon’s palm with the pad of his thumb. “i’m right here, babe.”

he gets a gently squeeze of the hand in return. “yeah… yeah, i know.”

“so why do you miss me?”

namjoon shrugs, keeping his eyes fixated on the ceiling. “i dunno… guess it’s just… i never get the chance to be with you anymore… ‘cause everyone else wants to as well.”

namjoon purposely leaves out their general lack of time and general call for caution, and yoongi is silently grateful.

“do you want me to tell the kids to lay off a bit?”

the kids refers to jungkook, taehyung and jimin, and yoongi is well aware of his own tendency to indulge them with whatever they want.

namjoon shakes his head, even as the arms around yoongi tighten again, and turns to face yoongi with a soft smile. “i just need to be less possessive. it’s okay.” he sighs, attempting a quiet chuckle. “i’m not the only one who wants to spend time with you and i need to get that through my head… ‘m sorry.”

namjoon has their eyes locked, looking at yoongi with the same expression he sometimes catches on the younger’s face during interviews, a half-second flicker that is barely ever caught by the camera but always, always caught by yoongi. namjoon has always been good at that in a way yoongi isn’t, showing affection and emotioneffortlessly, in a single glance, a couple of words.

yoongi flushes and ducks his head.

“y’know…”

he keeps it conversational, keeps it light.

namjoon’s hums in response and yoongi buries his head in further, lowering his voice to a whisper. “if you wanted, i’d pluck constellations out of the sky for you.”

internally, he wants to murder himself for using such a cliche, chick-flick inspired line. but namjoon is flushing ten shades darker and looking back at yoongi with a stupidly goofy grin. “that’s impossible to do, babe.”

yoongi flushes to match namjoon and forces the words past his teeth, because this is important . because namjoon is important.

“i’ve never been near a church but i pray every night that you won’t in’ leave. that you’ll never leave .”

that you’ll never realise how much better you could do .

his voice is a mere murmur by this point, his cheeks, no doubt, flaming roses, but he pushes the words part his teeth, reminds himself that namjoon is worth it .

“doesn’t matter if it’s this lifetime, or the next, or the one after that, i’ll find you in every single one and—”

yoongi’s pretty sure his eyes are glistening at this point. emotions have never sat well with him, they leave him choked up and overwhelmed and feeling too much. they stay locked behind his throat in words he’ll never say and he presses forward, because namjoon never, never hesitates to tell yoongi every goddamn thing he needs to hear, and namjoon deserves at least this little bit in return.

“i know i’m really at showing it but i ing love you kim namjoon , and that’s not going to change.”

his voice is barely coherent mumble at this point, and namjoon is grinning at him stupidly wide and yoongi knows they both probably look ridiculous but he doesn’t regret it at all.

“you,” namjoon starts eventually, sitting up and bringing yoongi with him, large hands cupping the older’s cheeks and dimples popping out from his ridiculous grin, “you are the single best thing to ever happen to me and i don’t regret a day that goes by if you’re a part of it, even if just for a second. i love you more than i’ve loved anything else in my entire live and i wouldn’t give you up for anything.”

he chuckles as yoongi buries his head against namjoon’s chest, arms wrapping around him and holding him as close as he physically can, words once again locked in his throat, emotion choking him with its ferocity.

namjoon smiles something impossibly fond and presses their lips together, coaxing the words out between the brush of skin on skin and yoongi melts, yields like he always has and tries not to explode from the sheer intensity, the sweet ache that threatens to shatter him into pieces.

 

(namjoon will be there to piece him together again)

 

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