February

 

Hyong Oppa♡

[Don’t forget – Saturday, 7 o’clock, outside the Starbucks. I can’t wait to see you ♡]

[I’m here~ I’m the girl with the pink headband.]

[Uwah, it’s cold so I went inside. I’m sitting on the ground floor, near the back.

[You didn’t turn your phone off again did you oppa? xD Anyway get here soon, OK?]

[Oppa, you said the Starbucks down the road from the boys’ high school, right? Across from the arcade? I didn’t get the wrong place did I… :x]

 

 

Her jacket, recovered from a bus stop close to High School Number 4. In the pocket: receipt from a chemist’s, cherry lip gloss, face mist, melon chewing gum; receipt from a café, medium iced tea black tea latte; two tokens from Ken’s Arcade.

 

 

Umma☆!☆!

[Come back quickly. No one will be angry. Just come back, OK?]

 

 

Yeinnie🦌💛

[Unnie, where are you? We were gonna watch that drama together :( ]

 

March

 

Sent to the family from a post office in southern Cheonan city:

• Pride & Prejudice in hard cover, a carnation pressed between the pages, dog eared and with a battered spine, letters are carefully written in the margins of several pages – TH ME i miss u already♡;
• Cash, 2000000₩ in fresh notes.
• A sketchbook, sections painstakingly sliced away from most pages with a craft knife. The soft, clean style matches those blutacked to her bedroom wall. A tree, the broad crown drenched with blossoms; two dogs asleep on a sunny window ledge; a girl (self-portrait) with a ponytail and a leather jacket standing under an umbrella, giving a peace sign…

 

 

 

A yellow envelope decorated with stickers is slid under the pillow in her bedroom. The white and pink paper smells of bubblegum and a pressed daisy is taped to the back –

Myungeun-unnie,

This is your Yeinnie. I miss Unnie a lot. Jisoo-unnie said I should try writing a letter to you, so here I go~

Ah… it’s difficult to sound happy :/ Actually, thinking about it, I do smile a lot lately, during our routines. It’s tiring -_-“ It’s all cos the baseball team’s aiming to reach the finals so we cheerleaders are working Super Hard to support them ヽ(´△`)ﾉ It’s hard work. You’d be proud to see us. Daejun-oppa was asking after you a lot, but I told him to quit it and I’ll tell him whatever when I know it. Pretty sure he still wants to ask though cos I see him looking and… yeah. The point is we’re training loads. Coach says she’ll kick anyone who’s not up to it off the team. We kinda thought she was bluffing, but last week she totally yelled at Dahyun and made her cry D: It was crazy. And now Dahyun’s not allowed to train with us anymore. Crazy crazy crazy, aigoo….

The weather is getting better. I guess you already know that wherever you are. But still, it’s good, right? ^^ I wanted to eat lunch under the pear tree with you and Sujeong-unnie since the Sun’s coming out again. Sujeongie seems like she doesn’t want to though. Besides, she spends most of her lunch break in the music room. One of the senior girls is tutoring her in guitar, but Idrk about that cos she’s being all secretive. I think she doesn’t want to, like, reveal anything until she’s ready. I was like, ‘But you can show Yeinnie, right?!’ and she was all shifty eyes and like, ‘Oh look, there’s Soojung-sunbae, gotta go!’ Boo >_<; Well whatever, it’s Sujeongie so it’ll be cool whenever she decides to show it.

And yeah, so I haven’t had lunch under the tree. I went down there one time. You would’ve liked it. The blossoms are out and there’s white and pink all sprayed out on the branches and dusting the ground and fluttering in the air and it was really so pretty. But it felt sorta lonely so I just went and ate lunch with Jiyeon-unnie. She gave me her cheesecake, but I’m on a diet so I couldn’t eat it :(

Unnie, I miss you. Come back soon. Please.

Love love, Yeinnie💛

 

 

Hyong Oppa♡

[Was it you outside the window earlier? I know I saw someone.]

[If it was you, just knock on the door. My wife’s asleep now. Let’s talk.]

[It was you, wasn’t it? It was you.]

[Talk to me. Stop this. I won’t apologise. Talk to me. Tell me what you want!]

[Talk to me, Myungeunnie. Please. I can hear you. Whenever I turn the radio on, I can hear you singing underneath it.]

[She doesnt but she doesnt know what you sound like I can hear you]

 

April

 

“…Occupants escaped unharmed after the fire broke out in the early hours of Friday morning. Unfortunately, the contents of the house were largely destroyed.
Police and the fire service are investigating the cause of the blaze. The site in Gokseong county has been cordoned off and neighbours are being asked to assist the police in their inquiries. Arson has not been ruled out at this stage…”

 

 

Recovered by a worker at a fast-food restaurant in Suncheon city: one sketchbook. On the inside cover a note written in green biro, ‘Myungeunnie’s Umma, you’ve worked hard. I’m sorry. I’ll see you again. I love you♡’. The book is less than half-full with drawings: a beach at sunset; fireworks over a village; a man seen through a window, making tea; a girl with a bob cut smiling and wobbling on a skateboard; the same man staring through the window in shock; a bear perched on the rim of a tea cup… A hollyhock is pressed between the pages, it’s petals having smudged the paper with purple stains.

 

 

Found in her locker, a white envelope sealed with a cartoon reindeer sticker.

Myungeun-unnie,

It’s Yeinnie again. I hope you’re OK wherever you are. Sujeong-unnie says she thinks your dead and maybe you are but I still hope your OK in heaven then.

I don’t think you’re dead. It doesn’t feel like you are. Your locker’s still here for one. No one’s even touched your stickers of Hongbin. I thought Janitor-ajusshi would have had to remove them by now…

I have to talk to you. Daejun-oppa asked me out. Isn’t that nuts? He said if they win in the finals I should go out with him. I think he thought he sounded cool -__- But it’s like, and if you lose??? Boys are weird. But I was sure he liked you so I don’t really want to go out with him. Well, it’s not just that, but that’s one reason. He definitely liked you…

He’s rly persistent though, so I might say yes anyway. It’s sort of uncomfortable with him following me around and it’ll probably just be worse if I turn him down w/out a good reason. Plus he’s so popular – I don’t want his fans to hate me.

 

Would they hate me more if I agree or if I reject him?! Ahhh! Idgi. I wish you were here T__T ♡

Sujeongie still isn’t having lunch with us btw. I pressed her + she admitted she’s training to enter a talent contest. It’s like, if she passes the local heats she can go sing and play her guitar on the TV programme and even if she doesn’t win there it’s good exposure. Awesome, right?! Aigoo, Sujeong-unnie’s cool – I’m cheering her on. Secretly though cos she made me swear not to tell anyone. Not even Jiyeon-unnie! You know I’m good at keeping secrets where my best friends are involved. Like a safe! lol

Let’s silently root for her together, me over here + you where you are.

Sujeongie! Fighting!!!

Please come back if you can, Myungunnie. I miss you and miss you.

Love, Jeong☆Ye☆In 💛💛

 

 

Found on the doorstep of her family home: a teddy bear, 15cms tall, lavender, with multi-coloured ribbons tied around its arms and legs and a floral bow pinned behind its ear. Its fur and the bow are singed, smelling faintly of smoke and detergent. Slid under the door, a white envelope containing 2320000₩ and a polaroid – the girl asleep, her long black hair partly covers her face. She seems to wear a content smile even asleep, nose and lips peeking out behind her messy locks. The grey duvet is bunched up to her neck, one bare shoulder is visible. Written on the back of the polaroid, till this moment I never knew myself.

 

May

 

Sent to the family home alone with a note of apology and a request to leave the letter in her bedroom.

Dearest Myungeunnie,

I’m angry at you. There. I am. I’m angry that you went away. Were taken away. That you’re not here. I’m angry that Yeinnie’s sad and pretending not to be and that Sujeongie does nothing but play her guitar and won’t talk to us anymore. And that Jiyeon-ah is trying to make everyone happy and I caught her crying in the bathrooms yesterday and

 

Sorry. That wasn’t how I was supposed to start this. I am though. I know it’s not right, but I get so angry when I think of you. I saw your umma in the fish market on Saturday. She looked awfully tired, Myungeunnie! Her hair’s gone so grey and she’s lost so much weight…

Myungeun’s Umma! If you’re reading this, please look after yourself too :(

(Oh gosh. If you are reading this, I’m sorry for starting off like that -__-;;; )

 

I wanted to write because Yein said it made her feel better and helped her put her thoughts in order – and my thoughts are everywhere these days. Summer break’s soon, so the seniors have to get serious about college and stuff. Seeing Jiae-unnie and them so busy, I got a spurt to build up my portfolio. But I can’t finish anything. For real, I’ve got half a dozen half-finished pieces either spread out at home or in the art room. Any time I sit down to do more work on one, I go blank, and then I think of you. And then I remember last autumn, working on those mobiles with you for the church fair and how you said you wanted to go to art school as well. You could’ve. I know you thought you didn’t have enough skill, but it was nothing that couldn’t be practised. Honestly, I didn’t get why you switched to wanting to do English Lit in college. Your English was terrible! Your pronunciation was even worse than Jiyeon-ah’s, lol.

Myungeunnie, I’m going to finish a watercolour tonight. There, it’s decided. I’ll take photos to send you when it’s done. Maybe you’ll never  I guess you won’t  You’ll never see them, but I’ll send them to you. I miss you. I love you.

Your Jisoo♡

Sketched in black ink underneath the letter, a fox sniffing a peony flower in full bloom.

 

 

Written on the back of a napkin left on a table in a convenience store –

I know you’ll read this.

Don’t come to my father’s house.

I’m afraid he’ll see you and he’s a good man.

better than me.

I’ll go to the pier on Sunday

afternoon.

Meet me there. I’ll listen to you.

I’ll hear everything you have to say.

 

 

Found by Ryu Sujeong in her guitar case: a square of decorative paper, 20cmx20cm, mulberry with blue stars, and a white card filled with instruction. The detailed instructions are handwritten in neat, tiny letters so that everything will fit. The girl knelt on the concrete near the school gate, peering at the words as the golden evening light stretched across the grounds. She followed them carefully, forgetting the time and where she was, absentmindedly waving off a few other straggling students who called out to her as they left for home. The shadows soon lengthened. As the Sun slipped below the horizon, she saw that she’d finished. Eyes feeling strained and sore, she observed the peony sitting in her palm. She bit her lip.

Swiftly opening her guitar case again, she threw the paper flower in before she started to cry. She hurried from the school grounds, knees bruised and aching.

 

 

A receipt from a DIY shop in Geochang county mailed to her family home in a brown envelope, no other contents. Written in red ink on the receipt, I have nothing but my sorrows rare in guilt how foul must appear

 

 

“… the victim, A, is a high school teacher currently on a career break. He and his wife were staying in their holiday home in South Jeolla when the house burned down last month owing to a suspected electrical fault. In order to recover from the ordeal, the couple had come to stay with family in the area.

A motive for the vicious attack is not yet clear. Witnesses reported as many as seven men setting upon A. However, police are yet to make any arrests. They have announced that they are pursuing several lines of enquiry. Involvement with local gangs is not suspected, nor was anything reportedly stolen during the attack, although A’s mobile phone fell into the water during the attack and was later recovered by a local tour boat operator.

The victim’s wife, B, being two months pregnant is understood to wish to remain in her father-in-law’s house in order to recuperate and be close to her hospitalised husband…”

 

 

From a letter written by Mr. Lee Dongsoo to his daughter Mrs. Lee Dain.

It’s no one will listen to a senile old man but perhaps they will listen to you, My Dear. If I must stay here for months on end, I choose to be selective about whom I am compelled to share a room with. He mutters in his sleep, twisting and turning as his injuries allow and crying out all of a sudden. It’s bad for my heart, that man yelling into the darkness every night.

When he’s awake, he props himself up and he stares at the wall. Not slack jawed at the TV like most people around here. Not out the window at our ugly little garden. No such thing, My Dear! That man stares at the wall and sometimes squirms around with a haunted look. Then he shuts his eyes tight and whispers frantic incantations, perhaps for a moment, perhaps for ten or twenty minutes at a stretch. Like a wild hermit trying to ward off the Devil, he is. Whenever the nurse comes around, he smiles at her and says he’s doing very well, thank you. It’s a frightful, teratoid smile. But I suppose she’s tired and busy enough to want to believe it.

He scares me, My Dear. I can admit that. I’m the one who’s close to death, but it’s he who sees ghosts. Talk to the doctors on my behalf. They’ll listen to a pretty, well-to-do woman like you. If I say a word, they think I’m the one who’s mad.

 

 

Umma☆!☆!

[I don’t know what to do anymore]

[Your father hasn’t got out of bed in two days]

[I want to join him but I have to go pay the electricity bill]

[I think I’ll join him afterwards. I don’t know what to do]

 

June

 

Uploaded to Instagram account brightgrace0612 on the 12^th June at 04:17am: six photos of the same watercolour painting. A beach after sunset, waves lapping at the shore, a stone path winding up to a village. Golden lights in the windows and pools of orange light dropping from the twisting iron streetlights that have just flamed into life. A girl with Rapunzelesque hair is dancing on the beach, barefoot in the waves, twirling merrily under the darkening sky. Two more girls are huddled together on a rock, watching the dancer and laughing. One of them, her feet barely brushing the sand, is demurely covering her grin with a hand and leaning on her friend. The friend – taller, with twin-tails cascading like bubbling streams of amber to her waist – has a box of pears, earthy yellow and ripe, on her lap and is handing a freshly cut half to the shorter girl.

On the promenade, a girl with sharp eyes and tufted ears is walking a fluffy, black, bear-like dog whose back is at her waist height. Strolling past her is a gangly girl with headphones, dropping doe-eyes and a sad smile Her striped skirt and long dark hair bounce as she walks. Watching her from above, a fairy is perched on a streetlight. She smiles secretly, eyes bright and green. She seems to emit her own light. Her skirt is layered like fallen leaves and a bird flutters around her slim shoulders as if inviting her to flit away with it. Sitting cross-legged on a bench, her sandals discarded on the gritty ground, a girl is playing guitar. Her bowed head obscures her face, but from her posture it feels like she’s concentrating deeply on the song.

If your eyes trail further up the stone path into the silent village, huddled and dark, you might notice one more figure. A small bear is lurking in the shadows of a narrow lane, watching the guitar player curiously. It has a school tie, a teddy-bear sized skirt to match, and a yellow rose flower behind its ear.

 

 

Found in her locker, a sky blue envelope sealed with a dozen multi-coloured star stickers.  

Myungunnie~!

Hello! Happy late birthday ((((@ﾉ´3｀)ﾉ ｡o○ﾟ･*:.｡. ☆κｉss ☆ﾟ･*:.｡.

I didn’t write to you the whole of last month. Jisoo-unnie said she did though so I hope you weren’t lonely. Yeinnie is sorry!!

Thinking about it, Idk why it feels like a thing I ought to be doing, writing to you I mean. I suppose they’ll just if you don’t come back they’ll just empty out your locker and throw these letters out. I guess that’s not really the point though, right?

Aiya, sorry, Idt I’m making much sense. I had to tell you that the baseball final was last Friday. We won. Isn’t that great?! We cheerleaders worked well -_-v Honestly, coach’s strictness was worth it cos our show was really awesome and the boys won. I have to go out with Daejun now though.

I still don’t really want to, but he made me promise and I couldn’t think of a nice way to say no. He kept following me around and sending me notes and, Idk, but I just felt really bad for wanting to turn him down >_< Sujeongie said I should just tell him ‘get lost!’ but she’s not on the cheerleading squad so she kinda doesn’t get it. Jiyeonnie said she’ll call me on the night so I can make an excuse to get away if I still don’t want to be there. Jiyeon-unnie’s nice T_T♡

Oh! And Sujeongie ate lunch with us again! Just a couple of times so far, but it was good to have her back. Jiyeon-unnie and Jisoo-unnie were there and she told them about the competition and said it’s soon and that Soojung-sunbae told her to stop stressing and eat lunch cos it was cheesecake day. So she had her cake, mine, and half of Jiyeonnie’s – cos Jiyeonnie insisted – and then she started blubbing about how nice everyone is and how she missed us and how she was sorry for being snappish lately. Seems like she really was stressed, right? lol. She didn’t come back after that, but she was there today cos there were wangmandu. So yeah, so Sujeongie came back ^_^

I wished you were there. We’re all trying to get tickets to go see her audition. Jisoo-unnie says Lee Mijoo from her class is auditioning too, so it should be fun! You’d love it. You’d be making banners and fans to support them and you were always for seriously good at convincing my parents to let me do stuff. My mum really loves Myungeun-unnie.

 

I wonder if Daejun would be on at me if you were still here. I want to ask him but I don’t think I’m brave enough. I’ll tell you how it goes, Unnie♡♡

Love, your💛Yeinnie💛

 

 

Scrawled in red on the road outside a cottage. Snapped by a professor taking a scenic route to his job at the agricultural college. Later scrubbed away by persons unknown, leaving only smudges the colour of blood on the tarmac. conscience is no more than the dead speaking to us!

 

 

“…The missing person can be seen on the establishment’s CCTV until 20:02 on the evening in question, at which point the feed cuts out for 200 seconds exactly. We have been in contact with engineers and have not been able to establish a cause for the interruption. When the feed resumes, her table is empty and she is no longer present. She is not seen again on any cameras in the area…

… Another photo was found in the family’s letterbox yesterday morning, put there by hand rather than posted. It shows the missing person in her school uniform standing beside a pampas grass. She is in a relaxed pose, although a bruise is evident on her neck. The photo is being examined for clues as to the location. A fingerprint was identified on the back. It matches the missing person, according to what was recovered from her bedroom…”

 

July

 

Found by the landlord, posted on to the window of the living area of his rented bungalow. A message written in pencil on a sheet of ruled a4 paper torn from a notebook. At some points the pencil has cut through the page. The writing is at turns painstakingly neat and almost illegible.

She has gone. She left this morning and will stay with her mother in Daejeon. I suppose you know that already though. I felt you watching as her taxi sped away. I heard you laughing as that yokel driver joked about me having to fend for myself ‘until the wife comes back’.

She won’t

come back. No one comes back. Except you.

If you knock I’ll open the door. If you call my name, I’ll come to you. If you tell me to do something, I will. I’ll do it. I’ll do anything if you just talk to me. I can’t stand it when it’s like this. Knock on the door. Sit down in front of me. Sing in front of me. I won’t make fun of you. I’ll listen.

 

 

A pair of clips uploaded to Instagram account brightgrace0612. Blurry, taken on a mobile phone. A girl on stage, playing a guitar and singing. The sound is unclear and made more difficult to understand by the chatter of the audience members. Her straight brown hair is brushed back and she’s wearing shorts with a white t-shirt and a baggy blue plaid shirt hanging off her shoulders. Standing very still as she plays, her eyes are closed throughout the song. When she opens them in the final clip, she may be crying – it’s hard to be certain given the poor quality of the recording. When she bows, the video shakes as the one recording claps and cheers.

Transcription of audible lyrics:

…from tomorrow, will you be fine? It’s …saying goodbye. My need to hear your voice is scarier than… Don’t prepare yourself alone and say those things. If I got angry… I’m trying to smile but… As if nothing is wrong. Instead of goodbye, goodnight. You might… It might not be the kind of goodbye people say when they’re never seeing each other again. If I cry right now it seems like… It’s all you who said these words. I feel like I finally got to know you. It feels like… said you’re sorry. I want to pretend I didn’t hear it. Goodbye just for one night. Everything will be OK… A goodbye that shouldn’t… unfamiliar face. Hug me, then you might… My face keeps getting ugly with tears flowing down, so I … even look at you.

Comments to the clips:

brightgrace0612: Isn’t your friend talented?! Cheer for her too, Daughter.
afoxxxxystarrrr: Videos by Ryu Sujeong-Lee Mijoo Fanclub #1!
ryubbangddeokddeok: I’m going to be on TV! (Mijoo-unnie too, but I didn’t have a good video of her :x sorry :x ) Wish us luck, Unnie~! ♡♡♡

 

 

On the bench outside a barbecue house in the village: six empty bottles of soju and three empty cans of beer, all lined up neatly in a row. Scattered underneath the bench: a leaflet from a packet of prescription sleeping pills; numerous cigarette butts; an empty packet of cup noodles, words scrawled on the bottom in pen –

I’m not the only one who held you.

Do they feel like I do?

Do you torment them like you do me?

He is lying on the pavement a little distance away. Shivering in his slumber as the Sun rises and the proprietress shoves him with her heel to wake him up. His tweed jacket has been neatly draped across him and his shoes stand side-by-side next to the bench, a plucked dandelion placed in each one.

 

 

“… The item, a floral skirt in black and purple, matches one the missing person is wearing in one of the photos supplied by the family. It was discovered by Mrs. Shim Haein, folded and placed on the welcome mat outside her family’s front door when she went to collect the post this morning. No traces of DNA have yet been identified. Her son, Lee Daejun, was an acquaintance of the missing person and has been brought in for questioning…”

 

 

Umma☆!☆!

[Your father has returned to work]

[When he came home he went straight back to bed and only ate his dongchimi at dinner]

[It’s good though, I think. It’s right to see the daylight and it’s right to get out of bed no matter how tired you are]

[I won’t join him tonight]

[I’ll sleep here on the sofa]

[Otherwise I’m afraid neither of us will ever wake up again]

[I have to wake up to wake him up and he has to go to work and we have to see the daylight]

 

[I’m sorry, Daughter. I’m very tired]

 

August

 

CCTV footage captures the woman entering a bank on the high street at 09:21 on the 7^th August. Her greying hair is scraped back in a ponytail. Her black skirt and peach-coloured blouse are crumpled. She walks with quick steps, posture stiff, hunched. She goes to a self-service machine and exits again after a few minutes. She clutches her handbag close to her side and a closed umbrella is clamped under her arm.

She is picked up again inside a small supermarket a couple of blocks away at 09:47. At the checkout desk, there is some wrangling over how to pay. She offers several cards, but the shop’s system is having trouble reading any of them. While the clerk tries to fix the problem with the till, the woman appears increasingly agitated. She taps her feet and bites her nails, shuffling her handbag and umbrella from one side to the other and back again.

After several minutes of this, she s her hand into her handbag and pulls out a purse. Clawing at the catch, she gets it open and flips several notes onto the counter. She gathers her purchases in her arms and marches towards the exit. Before she can reach it, her knees buckle. Her purchases fall from her grasp. She stays on the floor cartons and packets scattered around her. There is no sound on the video, but from her shuddering shoulders and her palms covering her eyes, it can be inferred that she is sobbing. The clerk and another shopper hover near her, unsure what to do.

 

 

Found in a shoebox outside the family’s front door. The box was wrapped in multiple layers of sellotape, as if the sender had expended an entire roll on the job. Inside is,

• 3,926,565₩ in used notes and coins.
• Two silver cufflinks, a gold band, and a golden tiepin with a small jade stone.
• Two photos – a girl in a ponytail asleep on a couch, she’s still wearing her school uniform, the top buttons of her white shirt undone; the same girl in a café, someone’s arm in a black suit jacket is around her, the rest of their body has been carefully sliced out of the picture, a bowl of vividly purple shaved ice sits in front of them with two spoons stuck in it.
• A beer mat with a note written on one side – soon i won’t need these things. soon. i hope you never have to think about anything as much as i think about you.

 

 

Yeinnie🦌💛

[I’m glad you’re not here.]

[Idk what to do about Daejun]

[The police are talking to him. Idk if it’s about you]

[It must be, right? So I should tell them he can’t be the reason you aren’t here anymore]

[But if I tell them that, they’ll want to know abt other stuff and I…]

[Idk what to say. I don’t wanna talk abt that. They might…idk]

[I’m not glad you’re not here. I just don’t want him or his stupid fans to hurt you. I wish you could tell me what to do now]

[I wish I knew if you knew about Daejun. Did he try that with you too, Unnie? Is that why you stopped liking him]

[He said horrible things about you. He said you were a who got herself]

[sorry. I didn’t mean to press send. And I shouldn’t repeat that stuff. He’s obvs an ]

[He’s an and I hate him]

[Maybe I /should/ tell the police all the same]

[Good night, Myungunnie ☆♡]

 

 

“…Patient is suffering from injuries conducive with a fall from that height. According to witnesses, he got onto the roof of the building and walked off of his own volition. It is assumed to be a suicide attempt. A psychiatrist will be called once the patient wakes up. Patient has written across his stomach in blue ink, ‘this only hope relieves me, that the strife with mee hath end.”

 

 

Umma☆!☆!

[Mrs. Cho at the green grocers has offered me some hours so I’m going to take them]

[Your father is not terrible happy, but I pointed out that if I’m working part time, we’ll be able to afford him taking early retirement]

[That stopped him talking. So, we’re doing quite alright, Daughter. You needn’t worry about a thing]

[You did use to be my little worrywart]

[I had a /slight/ turn the other day and your father’s being silly about it.]

[But it’s nothing at all, just the weather changing making me come over a bit peaky. That’s all]

[Everything’s fine so you should come back soon, Myungeunnie-yah. Come back soon]

 

September

 

“…His identity is being withheld as he is still a minor. However, police are reporting that B, a 17-year-old high school athlete, was taken in for questioning in relation to the case of A, who disappeared without trace in February. A police spokesperson has stressed that B has only been helping police with their inquiries and has not, as yet, been charged with any crime…”

 

 

On the crossword page of a newspaper discarded on an MRT carriage. In amongst the scribbled notes trying to decipher this and that clue and rearrange suspected anagrams, easy to miss.

Sometimes I think I hear you singing in the garden, like you used to, how you would sit on the wooden bench amongst your mother’s big bulbous pots of peonies and gardenias and that pretty white orchid she laboured over, the one that looked like a bird in flight, I remember the fruit song you made up for Mrs. Cho’s niece and the ballad your mother likes that you’d sing when she was tired -

Even in the warmth left at the tip of my fingers, you are there, you are there, your scent, your face,

Your mother needs that lately, I suppose I do too.

Do let us hear you again.

 

 

“…Patient has been engaging in self-harming behaviour including biting, hair-pulling and self-impact against the walls and door of his room. This has led to a perforated eardrum and hand fractures. His conviction that an unnamed girl is following him has become more fervent. We have been able to contact his wife and she will arrive tomorrow afternoon in order to discuss referral to Psychiatric Hospital #5…”

 

 

A letter written on a page torn from a notebook and slid into an envelope carefully folded out of a page from the same notebook. The paper is shades of blue and pink with butterflies printed in the corners. It is placed under her pillow, one corner peeking out.

Dearest Myungeunnie,

School’s back to I wanted to see you and your parents again. It was a little awkward tbh :x I guess I’m not great on my own. I’d hoped Sujeongie would come with me, but she’s too shy maybe. She says thank you though! Because she says she felt like you were supporting her too and now she’s going up and down to Seoul with Mijoo for the TV show.

She’s happy again, I think. It’s really great.

I bought persimmons btw. They’re selling the everywhere. On my street there’s an ajusshi who drives in from the country every morning and builds up this whole mountain of orange and red. The smell sort of lingers all day, even after he drives back in the afternoon. It reminds me of you. I remember I bought us a couple last year and we sat under the pear tree to eat them even though the ground was damp. You were so thankful to get a gift from me even though it was just a persimmon bought from a street vendor. Myungeun was really cute that day.

I gave the bag to your mum when I came in. She said thank you and that they’re you like them a lot… I’m sort of wondering if she really liked them too or was she just being polite :x She also mentioned she’s been working part-time in the greengrocers near your house. So, come to think of it, she probably does think I’m a weird girl now… lol

Honestly speaking, I’m a little lonely lately. Sujeongie and Midyu have this talent show, the seniors are all busy and distracted, Yeinnie’s got something on so keeps skipping eating lunch with us and Jiyeon-ah seems miles away most of the time these days. But really, it’s my fault too. I spend too much time in the art room and not enough time with them… Oh! My aunt makes a mean persimmon pudding. Do you think she’ll help me whip up a peace offering? Worth a try, right?  ง( ･ㅅ･) ง

I think I should head off. I’m sitting at your desk while I write this. Your mum’s been airing and dusting the room and… I suppose it’s neater than you wouldn’t left it, but other than that, it’s all the same. Your VIXX poster on the wall, your copy of Papillion on top of your other comics, the little Forever Friends bookmark peeking out. The windows open and the tree outside has just started losing its leaves. There was a shower a while ago, but the Sun’s out again now. The leaves splashed with rain are all shiny and yellowy green. If you were here we could sit outside and share the fruit together.

Ah~ what am I rambling about? I ought to go and leave your mum in peace. Goodb  See y

Love, Your Jis♡o

Underneath the letter is a doodle of a fox and a bear. Between them is a dish of fruit with twisting vines spilling out of the dish to embrace the animals. Serenely they cut up the fruit and spear it with long, ornate forks.

 

October

 

Uploaded to Instagram account brightgrace0612: three clips of a TV showing a flashy talent show. There are sparkly backdrops, a noisy live audience and an over-abundance of pyrotechnics. Two clips show a girl singing. In the first, she’s on her own, playing her guitar, eyes squeezed shut, singing a song about a break up, nerves making her voice quiver. In the next, she’s been given a fancier, glittering black dress to wear and her guitar’s gone. She’s singing a sweet song next to a handsome boy whose voice matches hers but who’s too nervous to look her in the eye. The third is a longer cut of a girl with her hair tied back in a ponytail that reaches well past her waist, a shirt tied around her waist as she dances seriously to an American song. The bold caption on the TV screen reads ‘Our Lee.Mi.Joo Power Dance EXPLOSION!!’

Comments to the clips:

brightgrace0612: Your friend sent me these to post. Don’t Sujeong-ah and Mijoo-yah look lovely♡
afoxxxxystarrrr: let’s fighting together…!!! ✧٩(•ω•*)و✧
songformijuliet: jisoo just told me abt this acc. i kno we only talked those few times, but i rly liked myungeunnie ;; i miss u ♡♡♡
ryubbangddeokddeok: Unnie ☆ I love you and thank you ♡
grace_flower_kjy: bbangddeokkie ❀ midyu-unnie, fighting!! Fellow members of the bbangdyu fanclub ❀ fighting!! Myungeunnie’s mum and dad, you too ♡ thank you 🌷🌷🌷

 

 

Found half-buried next to the pear tree on their school grounds. Written on pink paper and placed in a pink envelope decorated with smiling cats.

Myungeunnie, it’s your Jiyeon-ah~♡

They cleaned out your locker. I wanted to tell you that. They took off the Hongbin stickers and everything ;;         I’m not quite sure if Yeinnie was still writing letters to you that way     I know she did a couple of times                 But I guess she won’t write again for a while. I think she’s quite cut up about them doing that. She’s even dropped out of the cheerleading squad, not she’s just going to that traditional dance class near my home. Although that’s not just b                      In any case, I wanted to talk to you. From Jisoo-unnie and Yeinnie it seems like it has some effect ヽ(≚ᄌ≚)丿彡☆    And also, I just wanted to come out here. It’s drizzly today. It has been for a week. There’s soaked dead leaves dripping down and decaying on the ground. It has that smell of       of winter’s almost here. This weather always makes me a little depressed. But you liked it and that made me not mind it either.       This unnie so wanted to stroll out here and share her lunch with Myungeunnie~♡ I hope that

Good bye. I love you ❀

 

 

Crumpled on a tray left in a café in Namdaemun.

• Receipt: aspirin, e-cigarette filters, men’s multi-vitamin and mineral complex.
• Receipt: B5 sketchbook, graphite pencil set, kneaded eraser.
• A sheet of paper torn from the sketchbook.

The paper, despite having been smashed up into a ball, has on it a detailed sketch of a fruit bowl. The bowl if filled with apples, fresh figs, persimmons, grapes and various flowers. A girl’s hand is reaching for a persimmon.

 

 

“.. As to the patient’s expression of interest in underage girls, according to my talks with him and separately with his wife, there is no evidence that he has ever acted upon any such desire. I suspect this is a manifestation of internalised guilt following some previous trauma. His wife has requested that his stay be extended until we can discover what is truly at the root of her husband’s erratic behaviour.

As regards whether or not the patient continues to believe that a teenage girl is following him with a curse, he claims to no longer see her. However, nurses have reported him talking to himself and apparently watching someone in the garden when no one was present. The patient may be telling me what he thinks I want to hear. This is the first reason why I must recommend his privileges not be increased just yet or for the foreseeable future…”

 

 

Yeinnie🦌💛

[Hi Unnie. Idk how to talk to you now. I wanted to write but]

[they emptied your locker and threw everything out. Well, so long as they didn’t read my letters b4 chucking them Idc >_<]

[I told the police why it can’t have been Daejun. I only told them it can’t be him cos u said ur bf was older and chic and not an idiot]

[Sorry :( I know I promised]

[The police maybe didn’t believe me though. They seemed like they didn’t]

[Otoh Daejun still hasn’t come back to school so Idk. Cha Jinju said his family moved to Iksan .__.; ]

[She also said a bunch of other stuff that doesn’t bare repeating. All his fangirls are brainless and horrible and I’m not gonna care]

[I’m not gonna care what any of them think abt me anymore]

[Myungeun-unnie~! I♡u~! 💛💛💛]

 

November

 

Found by Mrs. Cho Nari outside her greengrocers when she went to open up early in the morning on the 4^th. A tin tea caddy, slightly rusted. Inside:

• A teddy bear key chain about 10cms tall, wearing a leather jacket with tiny, punkish glass studs in the sleeves. A paper ribbon is tied in a bow around its waist, the words ‘To Mum☆and☆Dad’ written on it in green biro.
• Two intricately folded paper flowers, a pretty pink peony and a white orchid that looks halfway between a flower and a butterfly about to burst into the air.
• A drawing of a beach. Fine sandy shore stretching into the distance. A grey sky above stoic waves. No people visible but for a figure in the distance jogging with a dog at her heels.
• A battered leather bracelet with a few silvery charms dangling form it – a cross, an apple, a disk with a pawprint, a skeletal fish – and a turquoise bead.

Mrs. Cho cleaned the tea caddy with soap and warm water then put it under the checkout in order to pass to her neighbour and new employee later. After doing so, she sent her husband a message telling him that she and Myungeun’s mum would be going out for dinner that evening and that there was stew in the freezer and side-dishes in the fridge if he didn’t feel like ordering take-out.

 

 

Sussubin

[Did you watch it?]

[Yeah… But that doesn’t mean it’s him.]

[It matches though. The age is the same. He’s an 'athlete'. He even looks like the silhouette in that one article. Besides, isn’t it weird randomly transferring at this time?]

[Omg, shut up. That’s so scary >_<;]

[And what if it’s not Daejun?]

[Well, what if? I’m not saying we should go accuse him of being a ert criminal or whatever. I’m just saying watch yourself, OK? >_<]

[Agh! OK… Subinnie’s right]

[I am?!]

[Yah, it’s too creepy to think about now. I’ll tell him no tomorrow.]

[He’s not even that handsome anyway.]

[And his pick-up lines were kinda gross now I think about it… (ﾟ×ﾟlll)]

[ヾ(✿･ｖ･人･ｖ･❀)ﾉ]

 

 

Found in a ramyun restaurant in Insadong under an empty bottle of soju. A pencil drawing on thick sketchbook paper. The drawing shows a window in an old house. Vines grow in and out of cracked brickwork. A couple stand in the window – a thin, middle-aged man with a tie around his neck and a flower in his lapel and his wife, leaning against his shoulder, wearing a loose dress and sporting a matching flower in her hair, strands of which have escaped her bun and fall across her face. Their eyes are closed, a permanent frown wrinkling their foreheads. There is a small pile of apples on the window ledge. Underneath the ledge, out of the couple’s sight, a slender girl with long hair and a round face is tossing one in her hands. She’s singing happily, curling music notes drawn fluttering around her head.

 

 

Uploaded to Youtube channel GoraniYein98.  A dance studio, a few people sit around the edges, some in casual clothes, some partly in costume. Props and instruments are clustered around the walls. As some traditional music starts up, a girl strides in carrying a white fan. Her hair is pinned up. Her hanbok is deep blue, the skirt patterned with a swirl of red. She moves with the haunting strings and the lonely drum beat, serious and poised. She spins and leaps and bows with flowing grace, intensity in all her movements. Her costume flutters elegantly as she moves. When the dance comes to an end and she snaps her fan shut for the last time, her classmates applaud and cheer her. A blinding grin breaks out on her face. 

 

December

 

Umma☆!☆!

[Today the police told your father and I that their investigations have been inconclusive]

[My daughter, you are inconclusive]

[Last night, your father made kalbijjim and we put a portion in the freezer for you – although I’m sure he’ll eat it the next time I go out with a friend in the evening]

[I’m doing well, Daughter. I honestly am. But some days it’s very hard]

[You do well too, inconclusive as you are ♡]

 

 

Uploaded to Instagram account grace_flower_kjy: a photo of a picnic. The thick mat is lain under an almost bare tree, only a few dead leaves clutching the branches. On the mat is a box of kimbap, another of sandwiches neatly cut into triangles, five bottles of coffee milk and a plate of thick, purplish pudding cut into squares and topped with cream. Around the mat are five schoolbags. One is white with a toy reindeer attached. Another is light blue with a pattern of rainbow coloured flowers and one beside it is red with a fox tail and a few badges pinned on. The last two are black, one messy – pockets ped, a mudstain on the side, and a rather battered doll of an angel with pink hair and silver wings hanging on the side – while the other is in better condition and has the names of the members of Block B painstakingly written all over it in tipex.

Comments:

grace_flower_kjy: gathering for lunch on a winter day ^_^v❀
ryubbangddeokddeok: …!! You ate cake without me T~~T
songformijuliet: friends! unnies! looks delicious ;; ♡ eat well~彡☆

 

 

A Christmas card addressed to the family and redirected to the patient’s doctor – the people you love become ghosts inside you and like this you keep them alive alive alive you are alive whether they let me admit it or not you you and i still paying still to owe eternal woe allow me to live allow me to live like you.

 

 

Pinned to the wall in the high school’s art room the afternoon before winter break: a watercolour of seven girls in a café; colourful posters and glowing fairy lights decorate the walls; eight white mugs are in front of them and bags, overflowing with shopping, are squashed between them or lying at their feet. Outside, rain falls and evening traffic rushes by. Written across the bottom in pretty, swirling handwriting, Happy Christmas! I love you all!

 

 

Found on the family’s welcome mat when her mother left for work early in the morning on the 26^th, later uploaded to Instagram account brightgrace0612. A sketch, folded and placed in a plain brown envelope. On the envelope: To Myungae, from your very secret admirer.

The drawing shows a woman with crow’s feet and a soft smile. Her hair is loose, falling over her shoulders, down to her waist. She’s wearing a loose jumper with a simple arabesque pattern of vines across the chest. A woollen shawl is draped across her lap and an apple is on her head. Written underneath:
You’re asleep while I draw this. Sleep well. You’ve worked hard this year. From me who can’t do a thing without you, thank you. I love you.

 

January

 

Half awake, the woman shivers as she forces the window open. The morning is dry and frozen, but she wants to fill the room with fresh air again. She pauses despite the cold and her flimsy night clothes. She gazes out at the houses opposite, the bare black tree in her garden, and the few tenacious plants hanging on through the winter. A look of confusion crinkles her brow. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d thought she’d heard singing and been wrong. But actually, there is a sound. An odd sort of sound, a squeaking and a whining. She tiptoes past the bedroom where her husband’s still asleep, down the stairs, and tentatively opens the front door to investigate.

There’s a dog. Some mongrel, not more than a year old judging by the size and it’s round, fat, belly. It’s a ball of black and chocolate brown fluff with bear-like paws and alert ears, one slightly torn. It stares at her and she stares back into large, round eyes and a dirty face with long whiskers. Then it sneezes and she realises how much the small creature is shivering. She gasps. Grabbing the first jacket that comes to hand and scooping the dog up in it, she marches to the bathroom with the dog in her arms gazing up at her curiously. 

 

 

XXX

To anyone who made it to the end of this weirdness, I salute you ヾ(☆´･ω･)ゞ