The Real Story

Hoya’s POV

            Today, you asked me if I love you. I just smiled at you and wondered why you keep on asking that question. I didn’t utter a single word to answer your question, you cried and told me I was too much. The same question with the same answer always. You asked me if those three words were hard to say. I just shrugged and changed the topic. You asked me once again if I could just be like the other partners out there who kept on saying those words to their partners. I sighed and asked myself if it’s necessary since I love you the same as always. Even if I act like I don’t care, I actually do, a lot. Baby, I won’t change my ways. Those words are just words. Showing what those words really meant is better than saying it countless times. Please, stop crying baby. You told me if I even know the words of love. Of course I do, but those words are just stuck in my mouth, bothering me. “Is it important?”  I asked. You nodded and wiped your tears. I sighed once again and took you home.

            For the next few days, we fought a lot because I couldn’t say those words to you. Do I really have to? If I say it repeatedly, wouldn’t it become meaningless? Is my heart not enough? Even I won’t bother saying those words, I would still love you no matter what. You don’t understand me. I’m not like the others who kept on saying those words but they don’t really mean it.

            The next day, you broke up with me. My heart was shattered into tiny pieces. I wanted to hold you back in my arms and beg you to take those words back but I can’t. If that’s what will make you happy, I won’t do anything but watch you walk away. I know you’re tired being with someone like me that’s why you broke up with me in the first place.

            I was surprised to see you with my best friend, holding his hand. I know Myungsoo had a crush on you before but I didn’t expect him taking you away from me. I watched you as you hold his hand, swinging it back and forth, and smiling sweetly at him like how you used to smile whenever I’m with you. I know it’s all my fault but why can’t you understand someone like me? You never even bothered to appreciate the things I’ve done for you. You only wanted to hear those words coming out from my mouth. I know, I’m stubborn but that’s what I am. I can’t change myself that easily. You’re the first girl I’ve ever loved so sincerely, so deeply and so passionately. And I know I was a bad oppa who can’t even say ‘I love you’. A tear fell from my eye as I watched you walking away, far from where I am, with my ex-best friend.

            I just want you to know, I have never loved anyone as I have loved you. I did my  best to make you happy but I guess my best wasn’t the best. I’m sorry and….Goodbye forever.