I sat next to her bed looking at her beautiful pale face. She looked like an angel; I guess she is an angel, to me. Her chest moved up and down as she breathes. The movement was in synch, never a second late or a second fast. I could tell she is dreaming something beautiful.

I pulled her hand gently and placed them on my cheek. The feeling was nice, but somehow different than before. Her hand felt slightly cold at times, as if the warmth of her body is battling with coldness of the surrounding for dominance which the latter won at times. Thus, the lingering coldness. But her hands are as soft and beautiful as ever that I never want to let go.

I gazed at her peaceful face again, and noticed a stranded hair on her temple. I took the hair and carefully tucked it behind her ear, so she wouldn’t wake. Though seeing her eyes is one of my wishes since the day she decided to close it. But of course it was never her fault for what happened.

It has been almost two years since she slept, never waking up even once. If there was one thing I wanted to do right now is yell at her and wake her up, but I know that would never work. The doctor asked to not put any pressure for her to wake up; for he was afraid something worse would happen.

I have decided a long time ago, that I will wait for her to arise from her deep slumber. I remember the promise I made to her long ago. Her pleading eyes when she asked; I’m sure no man would say no to the face of a beautiful angel like her. The memories of our time together flooded my mind everyday like a daily routine.

“I’m sorry to bother you sir, but visiting hours are over,”

A nurse came to her door slowly telling me the day was coming to an end. Just like other days I would wipe away my tears and smiled and the nurse, gesturing that I will be out in a minute. As the door of her room closes I stood up from my seat and sat next to her on her bed.

Her breathing was still the same like before. I caressed her face gently and let my thumb trace the shape of her cheek. Those wonderful things used to turn bright red whenever she was with me. Along with her smile it was gone. Both of her cheeks were pale as it someone erased the rosy colour that used to be there.

I caressed her face one last time and kissed her good night.

“Good night baby,” I whispered.

Tears started to fall again, and I closed my eyes for a while taking the whole situation in.

“Son, you know she might not wake up from this right?” her father said earlier today.
“Yes sir, I know that,” I replied keeping my voice steady.
“So…,”
“I will wait for her. Even if it takes forever I will wait for her,” I said sternly cutting him off.
“Alright then,” he said patting my back.

Her family had finally given up on her. They were planning to turn off her life support, but decided not to since I wanted to wait for her.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said wiping the tears away.

“I love you,”

I kissed her cold lips and smiled when her heart rate increased for a moment when I did.

“I guess I still have that effect on her after all these years,” I smiled and left the room, not forgetting to take a last glance before doing so.

 

When warm spring arrives,
Smiling as bright as the sun,
I remember you
When the weather became comfortable
While suggesting we go outside
You woke me up.

The bed stirred as I moved around, feeling the warmth of spring around. I felt the bright sun hit my sleepy face and smiled as I remembered your beautiful smile. You would always do so without fail even when you are sad, my beautiful angel; your smile is the prettiest thing in the galaxy.

Slowly the brightness of the sun fades, but the warmth was still felt. The weather was just perfect for a stroll in the park. Again I felt my lips curved into a smile as the thought of you came to mind. I woke up immediately remembering your voice calling me to come with you.

“Oppa, wake up,” she called.

I pretended to sleep, while I smile on the inside.

“Oppa~,” she called again.

That sweet voice, I want to record it and listened to all day. Yet, I didn’t move. I could see the frustration in her face even with my eyes closed.

“Oppa~!” she wined.

Her voice filled with annoyance. I opened my eyes slowly and saw the most beautiful thing ever. Her face glowed with the sight of me conscious. A smile formed slowly as she hugged me. I can’t help but to smile too with her cute appearance.

Even in those long, hot summer days
Stuck fast to my sides all the times
When my brow would be moistened from my sweat
I remember how you would always wipe if off for me
I’ll wait for you.

Spring had passed and made way for summer. The sun was shining brightly comparable to her bright shining smile. The hotness of summer was something that could never be missed. Sweat formed everywhere as I walked along the beach looking at the beautiful scenery of the ocean.

A sweat fell slowly along my face. I remembered how you would always wipe them off whenever we spent our times during summer.

“Oppa, lets go get ice-cream. It too hot here,” she whined.
I could only smile at her childish behavior. I walked with her to the ice-cream parlor hand in hand. It felt perfect. I ordered her a chocolate ice-cream and vanilla for myself.

“Oppa, I want chocolate!” she said happily.

I looked at her raising an eyebrow. As far as I have known her she had always like Vanilla flavored ice-cream, so the sudden want of chocolate just came as a surprise to me.

“Cause chocolate is the flavor of my Onew~” she sing-song happily.

I laughed shyly because of the stares people were giving us, but I felt warm inside hearing her said that. I waited for the ice-cream patiently while she stood by my side playing with my hands. She let go of my hand after a while. I looked at her, wondering why.

She dug something in her left pocket and took out a small handkerchief.

“Oppa, you’re sweating,” she said and wiped away the sweat from my brows.

People behind us ‘awed’ as they saw the mushy lovebird scene just now. I looked at her face and saw a hint of red on both of her cheeks. She is indeed a person that deserved to be awed.

But summer had passed twice and yet she is still asleep. Looking at the ice-cream parlor only reminded me or her and our memories.

I’ll wait for you (until the end)
I’ll remember, your image hidden in all four seasons
If I close my eyes, it’s like suddenly you’re right beside me.
I’ll wait for you (without changing I wait for you)
I’ll remember, your image hidden in all four seasons
If I close my eyes, it’s like suddenly you’re right beside me.

I will wait for you. Even though the doctors say you will never wake up, I will wait until you leave me. With each seasons passed I will remember your presence in each of them, even though you are not here. But when I close my eyes I can feel you beside me, see your smiling face calling me.

So I will wait for you. I won’t change anything. Our room when you left is still the same. Your teddy that you placed on your single couch at the corner of our room is still there. When I look at our room, I could remember you sitting at your vanity table looking at me on the bed. Every time I close my eyes I could feel you beside me, the warmth of your body envelopes me every time.

I remember,
That one fall, we strolled on that path while holding hands,
I remember it again,
Dividing one yellow-pigmented leaf that had fallen,
I remember

Dawn came and I remembered one of my most cherished moments with you. During one of the falls we spent together, we walked along an untouched path behind the park in the deserted woods. We walked hand in hand enjoying the beauty of nature.

Finally we arrived at a small meadow. It wasn’t really pretty but it was special somehow. Broken trees were every where; leaves crowded the floor of the meadow. They were colourful, some were light green, dark green, yellowish green, brown and some were already decomposed. It was fall indeed.

I remembered how you would pick all those yellow-pigmented leaf and giving it to me, dividing it along the way. Playing along I picked the dried brown ones and playfully put it on your hair. Your pout made me feel butterflies in my stomach, making me hug you suddenly. And you laugh; your addicting laugh and we fell in the puddle of leaves together.

It always seems that I go through all four seasons
You’re still inside me, whenever the cold winter wind blows
I think of you every time
I still haven’t been unable to ungrasp the hope of you returning to me
But I will never let you go

It’s New Year, finally indicating an end to the previous year. Still, you are not here beside me. It always seems to people that I go through all these seasons alone. But I always know better that you are always with me through it all.

Standing outside the balcony I could feel the cold winter blows. The first thought that came to mind was a few days’ ago Christmas, and always when I though of the seasons I remembered how excited you were to welcome each season, with a different smile every time but with the same warmth no matter what.

The doctor and your parents had asked me continuously to move on. They say there was no hope left. I felt mad and sad when they say that. How could they, your parent give up on you so easily? It had only been a few years since we last saw you smile, so why must I give up now?

But at times I do consider what they are saying, but I still have faith that you will return to me with a smile on your face. Even though the possibility is slowly fading, I will never let you go.

The winter’s white snow that fell and covered everything to its capacity
Inside the sweater you had shyly given to me as a present
Your scent still lingers
So baby I wait

Being alone, without you beside me makes me miss you to the point that I can go crazy. But wearing the sweater you gave me made me feel thankful for the times that we have spent together. It always amazes me how your scent still lingers on them, even though it had been years since you gave me. I could remember it like it was yesterday; how you shyly gave me the sweater as present.

“Happy Birthday!” everybody shouted

“Hyung, Happy Birthday!” Key came giving me a light hug.

After Key everyone came and congratulated me. But my eyes were searching. Searching for someone. Someone special. Special to my heart.

And finally I saw her, at the corner of the room. She looked nervous for some reason, but very beautiful. She was wearing a knee-length dress, with ribbons tied to her back. She looked so pretty.

I slowly made my way to her. Her eyes met mine when I was a few steps away. She looked even more nervous than before. I smiled and she did the same.

“Hey, you,” I said standing in front of her.
“H..Hey,” she stumbled on her word.

I chuckled. Her eyes locked with mine, glistened with the bright light of the room. Her cheeks look flustered.

“What’s wrong? Aren’t you enjoying my birthday party?” I asked.

She had always been the person who loves privacy. She had never liked being somewhere with lots of people. But she agreed to come to my party as a favor to me because it was my birthday. I searched her face for any signs that showed she wanted to go home.

“It..Its fine. Here,” she stuttered and pushed me a box with a red ribbon on top of it.

She left after giving me her gift. I ran after her and hugged her from behind. I could feel her breathing going frantic because of the skinship.

“Thank you,” I whispered.
“Happy birthday,” I she giggled.

I round the path you left on
You’re on your way back to me now
Like the late first snow of winter, and the delayed summer rains
So baby I…

I walked around the empty park. It was a really cold night, not a soul was out except for mine. The cold breeze pass by me and images of you walking on this same path came to mind. I followed your steps while watching you smile and laugh like today is the happiest day of your life.

It was our first winter together and ironically that day was the first snow of winter. It was rather late, but the beauty of the whiteness of the snow was just perfect. Like how you were during one of the late summer that came with rain.

The way you look with tears in your eyes was heart wrenching, but never unpleasant. Looking at you like that only made me want to protect you even more.

I’ll wait for you…I’ll wait for you
I’ll wait for you…I’ll wait for you
While flipping each page of the calendar over
I’ve naturally come to wait for you

I want to see those tears again. Even though if I have to wait till my last breath I would. You are too precious for me to let go. So I will wait for you. While looking at the calendar, counting the days passed I noticed how everyday seemed to pass so quickly. And somehow I felt used to the days passing without you beside me.

I’ll wait for you (I wait like this)
I’ll remember, your image hidden in all four seasons
Keep me nourished like fresh air
I’ll wait for you
I’ll wait for you (I’ll wait, I’ll wait for you)
My heart that waits all four seasons to come,
Like green plants
Always in this spot

Sitting beside you in your hospital room felt so nice and right. Holding your hand in mine and watching you sleep peacefully is had become one of my favorite past times. To do this everyday is rather a blessing than a curse like what some would say. I would be content to wait for you like this.

I remember everything thing that we have done together. Every hour you filled me with different emotions. Every day was an adventure being with you. Every week there is a different chapter written in our lives. Now, every season is filled with your hidden images that get me through almost anything, like a breath of fresh air.

I will wait for you. My heart for you will never change, just like how green plants are planted. Always in that spot forever, that is how my feelings for you will stay, always the same; fixed like that since the beginning of our love.

The two of us here, as if I had just met you yesterday
Like the promise I kept, I’ll be able to encounter you
We’ll be able to be together

I lied silently in our bed, feeling the cold emptiness of the room. I never realized that you not being here, made a huge difference. Bright lights from the streets shone inside the room, but somehow I still felt the lingering darkness around.

The outside world was loud, indicating the celebration of a new year. A new year; it meant another year had passed without you beside me.

Sometimes I would be really mad at myself letting this happen to you. If I were not too selfish that night maybe all of this would not happen. Maybe you could still be here lying beside me, instead of in that solemn hospital room.

But there is nothing that I can do anymore. It will always remain a regret to me and for sure will haunt me till you wake up. I will wait for you.

Sleep washed through me after a few hours of tear spilling reminisce. A smile formed as I saw you.

We were on a bridge at some recreational park. You were standing and the end of the bridge looking at the small river that run down the stream. You wore a simple knee-length white dress, with red flowers aligning the bottom of the dress. Your image of perfection took my breath away.

I stared at you from the other end of the bridge, examining every perfect detail of the angel in front of me. Your hair was pulled up neatly in cute bun, with a red butterfly hairclip clipped on the left side of your hair. And with that you wore red flats with a red purse to match.

The two of us here made me feel like I just met you yesterday. The way you shyly ignored my attempt to become your friend, makes me miss you even more.

“Can we be friends?” I asked after the brief introduction we shared.
“Hmm, no thanks. I already have plenty of friends. I have to go now,” come your reply with a smile.

I remembered thinking that you were different from other girls. No girl had rejected my offer to friendship except you. And I knew instantly at that moment I want to get closer to you no matter what, and like I promised I did. We will be together forever

“It’s okay, I promise I will see you again even if you don’t want to,” I smiled and waved good bye.

Like white snow that always melts,
I’ll warm your heart towards me so it melts
You just have to stay by my side
When I dream we together, You & I forever

After a few days I saw you again at the same place. Like our first meeting you looked so focused looking into the running water. I smiled to myself and slowly made my way towards you.

“Hi,” I said tapping your shoulder.
“You again?” you asked with a slight annoyance in your tone.
“I have a name you know,” I smile my adorable eye smile that you loved.
“I know it J…Jinki right?” you stuttered.

“Yeah! And your name is?” I asked happily.
“You don’t need to know,” came your cold answer.

Since that day on wards I followed you around, hanging out with you even though we never did talked. At times you would just glare at me and drink your chamomile tea which you loved so much.

It was during one of those days that I made a point to myself that I would somehow find a way to warm your cold heart to me and so it melts, just like how the snow melts when the sun came. I will be your sun forever to keep you warm.

“I’ll be your sun,” I blurted out when we were sitting at the coffee shop like always.
“What?” you asked raising an eyebrow.

I could tell that you were very confused of my sudden start of conversation, seeing that we did not really talked during the times we spent together or during the times I followed you like you would always say when we were together.

“I’ll be your sun, so that you can always be warm. Since you’re always so cold,”

I laugh at my attempt at being funny and cheesy. And to my surprised I saw a smile formed on your pretty lips. That was the first time I saw you smile like that. It was genuine and sincere, not like your other smile that you used to give to people. And what was so special about it was that, that smile was mine because I made you smile like that.

After that faithful day, I started to grow on you. You started to talk more to me, instead of ignoring me like you used to. I felt content and happy like I was flying on cloud 9. Everyday we spent together became a blessing to me, because you always had a way to make me feel happy in a million different ways.

One of our conversations stood out from the rest. It was my favorite conversation we had other than when you said you would be my girlfriend and that you love me; it was when I asked you why you stuttered when I met you the second time.

“I stuttered because I was dumbfounded by your cute eye smile. Smile again for me?” you said and giggled when you saw my eye smile again.

I loved everything we did together be it walking around the park, looking at the stars, watching the sun rise and set, talking, laughing, crying or even fighting; I loved every minute and every second I spent with you.

When I dream, we together, You & I forever.

 

I suddenly woke up from the loud sound of beeping. It was all just a dream. The beeping sound came louder and I saw the line going flat on the monitor. I panicked and called the doctor immediately. I touched her white face and felt the coldness, without a hint of warmth. Tears spilled as I understood what happened.

Uh, this is my love story
A true sad story…listen