It was Autumn and there was an abrupt chill in the air, near the entrance to the stations, leaves of brown, gold and red blew around like a colourful wind. Near the wall of the subway station a young woman sighed, brushing her dark hair out of her face to set up her instrument case and cheap microphone her brother had bought her for her birthday last year.

 

It was always difficult to do this, especially with her undeniable fear of large crowds, it was also the reason why she set up in the late evening, there were people around rushing to catch their trains or get off them, but not so many that she would feel cramped and find it difficult to breathe.

 

She blew on her fingers to generate a little bit of heat, before placing them on the strings of her battered guitar.

 

“Well then.” She whispered, “Let's make some music.”

 

She was in her own world now. A world where no one could touch her, where she could freely be herself… where she was happy.

 

There was only her and music and it always set her heart at ease.

Through the music she heard coins clunking into her case and bowed her head in thanks.

Every five hundred won coin counted. It would mean she and her brother could have at least a little more to add to the rainy day jar. They needed to keep up with the payments on the house. Even with the two of them working several part time jobs it was still pretty difficult, but they had each other so they would support one another with their lives.

 

It was her brother Jinyoung that encouraged her to share her talent, though in her opinion she was nowhere near as talented as Jinyoung was. Even though he was one year younger he was way more together than she was, and she admired him a lot.

 

For the last five years, her and Jinyoung had lived alone. They had their story just like everyone else, but chose not to share it. As of now though the two of them were constantly hoping for things to look up soon. They wouldn't give up on themselves.

 

As the night drew nearer, the cold did too, and even though her fingers were numb she wouldn't stop playing her guitar until the last person had left the station.

She was freezing, she was an idiot for forgetting her jacket, Jinyoung would give her a lecture about that when she'd arrive home, and tell her off for putting her health at risk.

 

Just a little longer…

 

She paused her playing long enough to cough into her fist and she sighed, of course her asthma had to act up now.

She rolled her eyes and reached for her inhaler in her pocket only to swear as she dropped it and when she went to pick it up, saw a high top sneaker kick it out of the way.

 

“Yah!” She looked up, before lapsing into coughs.

She reached for it and glared at the perpetrator, blinking in shock as she noted raven hair, and dark eyes, a smirk on his - she had to admit - handsome face.

 

“Oh I'm sorry.” was the response though he didn't sound sorry at all. She hid the inhaler in her hand and continued to glare at the jackass that had appeared before her. Her eyes widened even more when she noted who he was.

 

“W - what the h - hell is Im Jae - b - bum doing around h - here?”

 

“Oh I was drawn to your lack of talent, you disturbed my free time, so I came to investigate.

“Y - yah jerk!”

 

“Oh I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of your terrible guitar playing.” He laughed and her blood boiled.

 

“JB, we need to go, you have a recording session in the morning.”

 

“I know.”

 

What an !

 

She would have liked to have said something to shoot him down as he walked away chuckling to himself, but she was more conscious of her protesting lungs. She took her medication and continued to glare after him.

 

Im Jaebum or JB as was his stage name, was an up and coming kpop star. He had thousands of followers and his fanbase was growing by the day. He certainly didn't have the personality to match. He was an , he only cared about himself, it was clear to see, he liked attention. If he didn't get it, he'd grow pissed.

 

To say she disliked him was an understatement. There was a time when the two of them were friends back in middle school and their first and second year of high school, they attended the same school and he was in the year behind her. JB was actually a pretty nice guy before he was scouted, once he'd entered the doors of fame, he'd become selfish and self-obsessed and when she thought back to when he was just about to start his trainee life, he'd made a promise to her.

“I promise I won't change Yeon, you can count on it.” but he had changed, and now, he didn't even know her. Or if he did he acted like he'd forgotten her. He was famous now, he cared only about himself…

 

And she hated him.

 

Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she moved her guitar so it was resting on her back, answering the call as soon as she had some feeling back in her fingers.

 

“Hey Jinyoung.”

 

“Yeon, come home, it's getting cold out.”

 

“I'll be home soon Jinyoung, I just need to take care of a few things first.”

 

“Don't catch cold, it's dangerous.”

 

“Psh, don't be so dramatic Jinyoungie, I'm perfectly fine. See you soon.”

 

“Yeon -”

 

“Stop fussing, I'll be back soon, I promise.”

 

She heard her brother sigh at the other end of the phone before he answered, “Okay, see you soon.”

 

“Yep.”

 

It took her a few minutes to gather her things together and she smiled at the fistful of coins. They'd been generous today.

 

She put them in her pocket, packed her stuff up and made her way home.

 

---

Jinyoung was waiting for her as soon as she arrived. She almost chuckled at his concerned expression.

 

“Yeon! You're later than usual, and where's your jacket?!”

 

“Whoa, whoa, chill mom I'm fine.” She laughed.

 

“This isn't a laughing matter! You can't take your condition lightly, especially when it's getting even colder out and you're not even wearing a jacket!”

 

“Seriously Jinyoung, calm down, I'm not dying, stop making such a huge fuss.” She loved her younger brother more than anything, but it was times like these, when he'd become overprotective of her that irritated her a little.

 

“I'm the oldest here, I should be fussing over you.” She sighed and set her guitar and microphone bag on the sofa.

 

“Did you eat Jinyoung?”

 

He nodded. “But I know you didn't, I kept some dinner in the oven for you, you skip meals too much Yeon, it's not good for your body.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.” She huffed in frustration, running her hand through her hair.

“Just lemme put my stuff away first.”

 

“Don't use that excuse on me. It doesn't work anymore.” He teased.

 

“Really?”

 

“Eat first. You can sort everything else out later.” He said as he grabbed her hand and lead her to the table. “You're freezing! Take a shower after you eat and warm yourself up.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Fuss. Fuss. Fuss. That's all Park Jinyoung ever did, especially when it became colder, Yeon had a habit of having frequent attacks during the fall and winter months, sometimes serious ones, she always insisted she could manage, but Jinyoung never believed her. Really the roles should have been reversed, she should be the one to fuss over him not the other way around.

 

Sometimes… she felt like she was a crappy sister. She wished Jinyoung would be dependent on her… not her - as much as it embarrassed her - being dependent on him. Although she acted like she was cool and had it all together, she needed Jinyoung… though no way would she ever admit that… not to his face.

 

She ate the kimchi fried rice Jinyoung had prepared. He was a whiz in the kitchen. She could be too. Only she was often too busy to cook except for special occasions and his birthday. She wished she could do more for him.

 

Five years ago, when they lost their mom, Jinyoung and Yeon had to fend for themselves. Although Jinyoung was only seventeen at the time, he seemed more put together than she was.

She was angry at that time and had lost her temper in a way that affected everyone.

Jinyoung kept it together until a month later when he finally broke down and let out his feelings. Yeon had held him all night while he cried. She vowed then that she would protect him at all costs, she wanted to be someone who could keep it together when he fell apart.

 

It was the strengthening of their relationship, Jinyoung was everything to her, and she kept screwing up.

 

She sighed as she ate pausing and setting down her spoon.

“What's the matter?”

 

She gave a forced smile, “It's nothing really just - Jinyoung?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I'm sorry I'm not here as much as I used to be… I'm sorry that sometimes… you need to get through things by yourself… I will try harder to be a good sister to you. I promise.”

 

“What's all this about?” He asked, taking the chair next to Yeon.

 

“I just feel - I just feel like I should be doing more for you… I'm always so busy, I never actually sit down and ask you if you're doing okay.” She looked down at her rice, pushing the dish around the plate.

 

“You do enough Yeon, you look out for me, you're there when I need someone, you don't have to prove yourself or whatever. I already know, you'll take care of me, you always have.” He smiled, “Now eat!”

 

She gave a gentle chuckle, “Okay.”

 

“How did you do today?” He asked, pouring himself a glass of water from the jug on the table.

 

“Better than yesterday.” She set the handful of coins on the table, “It's not much, but at least we can add them to the savings jar.”

 

Jinyoung nodded, “We'll be rich soon Yeon, just you wait.”

 

She nodded, before sighing, “Met a jerk while out busking today.” She stated, frowning.

 

“What jerk?”

 

“Im Jaebum of course… what an !”

 

“Yeon… language.”

 

“Sorry. Honestly, he just acts so superior, fame really has gotten to his head… he's not the same friend we knew.”

 

“It's been seven years Yeon… people change.” Jinyoung gave a sad smile. Yeon and Jaebum were friends but Jinyoung and Jaebum were like brothers, when Jaebum changed, Jinyoung became more defeated. He'd lost his best friend. It hit him hard for a while, but he acted as if it didn't bother him anymore. Only, it clearly did.

 

“I know… but… I can't help but wonder if the real JB is in there somewhere, not cocky, kpop idol JB, but our JB.”

 

“He's a world star now Yeon, as much as it hurts to admit it, that's who he is now. Go shower, you're shivering.”

 

She hadn't even noticed.

“Okay, I'll be back in a bit.”

 

Jinyoung smiled after his sister before his face fell. Yeon was right, the JB they knew… was gone. He never admitted to anyone that he missed him. He was always shy, people liked him, but he wasn't big on large social circles. He had JB and that was enough. Now that he was a world star… he wondered if they'd ever get their old friendship back. He owed a lot to JB, during their difficult times, in his trainee years, he would still meet up with them as much as he could. He was there when Yeon had her breakdowns and when Jinyoung felt lost and then… he wasn't there at all… he disappeared as if he'd never been such a big part of their lives for so long.

 

He stood up and began to clear away the dishes.

Come back to us JB…. Come back to Yeon… She needs you… I need you.

 

---

JB smirked at yet another fan letter, the contents containing another love confession. It was amusing, but he was still grateful, though he would never show it.

 

he found his mind going back to his brief encounter with the girl in the subway station.

 

Yeon hadn't changed at all, she was still fiery, and still full of talent. He frowned as he recalled how weak she looked. He knew she was sick, but he didn't realise that her condition had gotten worse until he saw her again. He shook his head, why should he worry? They weren't a part of his life anymore. This was his life now. Fame, riches. He liked it. Maybe he seemed selfish, but he didn't care.

 

This was his defense… it was all he had…

 

He looked out from the balcony of his penthouse, the view always made him feel calm and peaceful, he felt freer up here and no one bothered him, he preferred it.

 

Even with such a grueling schedule, this here, was all it took for the stress to roll off his shoulders.

 

After a few minutes with his thoughts he moved away and made his way into his bedroom.

 

Just forget about everything else and focus on your job!

 

His manager's words were still fresh in his mind, he had made it clear that JB’s new life consisted of image. If he was to keep contact with old friends who weren't on his level, it would affect his current lifestyle now. He had to erase the past from his mind and only focus on himself now.

 

The company is counting on you JB, don't let us down.

 

The thoughts whirled in his mind as he drifted off to sleep.

 

The old Im Jaebum was gone… he was JB… he was an idol… no one else mattered…