a page of woozi’s dairy

18/05/2016

time:11:30pm

hey dumbell howz u

it was really tiring today both mentally n physically but i am exhausted of these feelings inside me more i need to tell them to you and get it of my chest can u pretend to be soonyoung for today bcoz i dont think i will ever have courage to say this things directly to him i will write it here n will make sure i forget these feelings like i forgot my other sad feelings(hope so)

hey soonyoung you know I am really bad with expressing my feelings right so shut n listen to me n dont speak before i complete otherwise i will never talk to u ok

ok

i just wanted to say

I LOVE YOU I LOVED YOU SINCE THE 1ST TIME I SAW U AT AUDITION *ha breaths in*

It might be hard for you to believe that  I love you since everybody probably u too think of me as someq who is cold n selfish person but I really do love you I never felt this way for anyone not this intensly so its sometimes scary especially when my empty mind wanders of thinking things like what if you don’t love me back will I be able to move one will I be able to love someone as much as I love you so i always try to keep my mind busy doing something or the other empty mind is devil's nest if mind is empty it always think of thinks that cant match reality look at me going all tangent from the topic haha my bad me n my long explanations hha

I hate skinship but you are the only person I want to hold even if its for just a minute i want to hold you with all my heart but u never approach me u act all goofy around other people hugging them but u r so reserved to me u never initiate hug with me am I really that dislikable even though I hate hugging you know that if u hug me I wont reject you u know it right

Even if people tell you your eyes are small remember that they are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen in my life I hope you can look into my eyes to see how beautiful you

i love you with whole my heart

we had conflicts about our album u compromised with everyone but why can’t u do the same with me why do you keep avoiding me you didn’t even want to sit close to me You wont look at me even when I am infront of you stop avoiding my eyes even now look at me look at me n see how much i love you

you must think that i am reallt pathetic for being so clingy but i just cant believe you are standing infront of me listening to me since i fell in love with 1st time seeing u in audition this love only grew more and more over time I dreamt of dancing beautifully like you I practiced and practiced until when you finally looked at me I felt so happy when u let me hug you tease you I thought there was something going on between us am I the only one feeling that or am I also special to you the same way

I always keep thinking of you all the lyrics I wrote for our songs were about you

Do you see me as someone more than just a friend I wanna always stay by your side stop caring about others guys look at only me stay close to me so those other guys will know you are mine

dont look at others look at only me

whenever I think of you I toss and turn around in bed like a crazy you always are in my dreams just be mine even its for a minute I am lying just one minute of you isnt enough for me I want you to stay together with you whole life i want to act selfish and keep you all to myself but then I remember that you don’t even belong to me so how can I even think of keeping you from other the nights when you practice late and visit my studio I remember everyone of those nights be mine u idiot bye dont speak until i am out of here

so how was my confession dumbbell do u think he will understand how much i love him after this

so now tell me how many times did we have this same conversation wait a min let me turn back n count ok thats total of 17 times

aahhhh my feeling for him are so much that no matter how many times i write there is still a huge portion inside me

that bastard can he stop being ing cute daily so i can live my life properly that head

thank you for reading till last i hope its not a disappointment