Overlooking our past, letting it go

A brighter forecast, new winds will blow

A storm is drawing near, come meet me when it's cleared

Waste my youth chasing kites, I know we'll blow

iamamiwhoami – Chasing Kites

 

 

 

Silence.

 

It seemed to circle them like a young lion, little playful, little dangerous. Nayeon couldn’t tell when it had first began but lately it seemed to be all over them. Something had shifted without her noticing and now that she could see the end result it was all she could think about.

 

She wanted to break the silence, but was afraid to.

 

“Could you do me a favor?” she asked quietly, glancing at Jungyeon’s lean form in a worn out leather jacket.

 

“It depends,” Jungyeon answered with a sheepish grin.

 

“Don’t tell Jihyo about the – well... I don’t want to bother her with all that.”

 

“Sure,” Jungyeon said, eyes telling what her words didn’t: so a secret between just you and me?

 

Nayeon turned her head away from the other girl and stared into the distance on the other side. The list of secrets that they kept just between the two of them had grown lately and she felt a bit guilty. They were supposed to be a trio, like Harry, Ron and Hermione (Jihyo being Hermione, obviously) but slowly they were forming a secret duo. Like Romeo and Juliet – no, more like Timon and Pumbaa.

 

She grimaced.

 

“Here she comes.”

 

Nayeon turned her head and watched as the youngest girl of their group walked down the street, looking like she was bouncing on clouds. She wasn’t part of this game of shadows and silence that they had - Jihyo was chasing her dreams, while she and Jungyeon kept chasing kites.

 

 

-

 

 

“What’s wrong?” Jungyeon asked, sitting back in her chair and eyeing her carefully. She kept fiddling a pen between her fingers and Nayeon stared at the movement, the blue stick wavering so fast that it almost created a solid fan.

 

“Nayeon?”

 

“What?”

 

“What’s on your mind?”

 

Now that was a heavy question. She blinked and thought about all the things that bounced around her mind like pinballs but decided that none of them were worth pulling out for further discussion.

 

“Nothing,” she said and crouched over her textbook again, concentrating on a picture of some useless weed that she was supposed to memorize. Who cared about those things, really? They were all green, they all looked the same. She wasn’t going to start picking up herbs that could maybe, possibly be eaten and threaten her precious life with poisoning. The benefit would be minimal, the danger excessive. In a way it was a miracle that she had survived so long in life anyway, considering how prone she was to accidents and other-

 

“Tell me,” Jungyeon said, and put a hand over her own. The younger girl had just recently clipped her nails, she could tell it from the way it had been done a little clumsily. Some edges were uneven.

 

“Tell you what?” she asked and fought herself not to draw her hand away. Something about the way Jungyeon touched her always seemed like too much, yet too little. Too much in a way that it made her start or pause - it got her attention unlike anything else and too little because it always lasted such a short time before it was gone, leaving her confused and hollow.

 

Jungyeon sighed heavily, closing her eyes for a moment. Nayeon felt sorry for her and relented.

 

“Mom and dad had a huge row two nights ago and so dad left and hasn’t been back since. Mom is trying to act like she is fine but I can tell she has been crying all night. I shouldn’t care about this anymore, but…” she waved her hand weakly and wondered once again what it would be like if her parents divorced for good. It still made her chest burn.

 

She was vaguely aware that Jungyeon had started rubbing her palm with a thumb and that somewhere in the corner of her eye moist was beginning to gather. She wouldn’t cry, that would be just pathetic.

 

“You could come over for a few nights,” Jungyeon said, warmth in her voice. “Maybe if they notice that you are gone they’ll learn to behave a bit. It’s worth trying.”

 

God, she could have kissed her just then.

 

“Well well well, if it isn’t my favorite pair of hedgehogs,” a familiar voice came from not far away.

 

“What took you so long?” Jungyeon said and turned around slightly, not taking her hand from where it rested on top of Nayeon’s.

 

“I ran into someone,” Jihyo said cheerfully and Nayeon exchanged a look with Jungyeon. She mouthed “Mina” to the younger girl, who in turn nodded gravely.

 

“Did you ask her out, yet?” Jungyeon said, finally letting go of Nayeon’s hand and sitting straighter in her chair.

 

“Shut up,” Jihyo said, still grinning. It was bad if she couldn’t even make herself look scandalized over their teasing anymore.

 

As Jihyo took a seat next to them Nayeon exchanged another look with Jungyeon who shook her head slowly. Nayeon rolled her eyes.

 

It was good to have a common enemy: Jihyo.

 

“I saw that!” Jihyo said and smiled down on her notebook.

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon sniffed at a blanket that she had pulled up to cover anything from downwards. It smelt clean, in a soft way, just like clothes and sheets should. She sighed happily, wondering if the Yoos might adopt her. Surely one more daughter wouldn’t be much of a burden?

 

It was nice to be in an environment where sheets were new and nobody was yelling at anybody.

 

Jungyeon came back from the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She was wearing an oversized t-shirt and under it some short shorts. She looked just as she always did. Make-up and cooler clothes didn’t have much of an effect on her as she was always so unapologetically herself.

 

“All good?”

 

Nayeon hummed as an answer and let her eyes drift close again. She felt the mattress dip and Jungyeon climbing in, accidentally brushing her leg against Nayeon’s. The older girl kept her eyes closed, pretending she hadn’t felt that.

 

As if a window had been left open somewhere - letting a faint breeze in, something settled between them. Something that was waiting.

 

Nayeon opened her eyes, but instead of getting another opportunity to watch Jungyeon unguarded she found the other girl staring back.

 

“Do you want me to read you a bedtime story?” Jungyeon said after a heartbeat of startled staring. Nayeon smiled, recognizing the technique instantly: when it gets too awkward try to make a joke. It was a technique that they had mastered together to the point that other people didn’t take them seriously anymore. But maybe it was better that way.

 

“I should read you a story, I’m the eldest.”

 

“Right,” Jungyeon said and smirked, and Nayeon knew what she was going to say even before she did. “As if you aren’t the childish one here.”

 

“Hey,” she shrieked, secretly wondering how it was possible for things to be so much fun when you knew they were coming.

 

Instead of battling with words, she opted for a slightly aggressive tickle-fight. She used her right