Nobody’s a picture perfect

But we’re worth it

Will you love me? Even with my dark side

As one of the biggest and famous market, Myeongdong has always been crowded even in weekdays. Hundreds of people swarm the alleys and get in or out of the stores located inside and around the market. Siwon and Yesung are among the people who visit the very iconic market of Seoul this afternoon. They have just gotten into a clothes store. Yesung picks one white shirt and shows it to Siwon who is just following his husband without showing interest to any clothes displayed.

“What do you think? It’s simple but good, right?” said Yesung.

“Yes.” Siwon nods. “But I think it’s too big for you.”

“Eiy… This one is for you, Siwonie. I think the size is just right.” Yesung puts the chosen shirt on Siwon’s hand.

“C’mon. Try that!” said Yesung enthusiastically. He pushes Siwon to one of the changing rooms.

Siwon lets a loud sigh once he is alone inside the room. The tall guy looks at his reflection on the mirror and the shirt on his hand. Reluctance is written clearly on his handsome face.

“Siwonie, let me see it!” Yesung shouts from outside the room.

“Wait.” In a matter of seconds, Siwon takes of the black shirt he is wearing and puts on the shirt. He does that without taking a glance to the mirror in front of him. Siwon opens the door and he instantly meets the smiling face of his husband.

“Gorgeous!” Yesung claps happily. He takes the T-shirt from Siwon and then grab his husband’s hand.

“Let’s just use this Shirt… and we have a date!” Yesung chirps enthusiastically, not realizing the frown on Siwon’s face.

It is one fine day in Spring. Totally a perfect time for a date, ignore the fact that today is not weekend. Yesung walks out the store with a big grin decorating his face while Siwon has this straight lips. No smile that will expose his dimples. Only eyes that are looking at people passing them.

Without he realize, Siwon grips Yesung’s hand tighter, making the slightly smaller man looks up at his husband. Only then Yesung realizes the tense look on Siwon’s face. Yesung bits his lips before finally tugging Siwon’s hands.

“Are you okay?” asked Yesung. “You’re a bit pale.”

“I….” Siwon opens his mouth but then he closes it again. He still does not feel comfortable getting surrounded by many people. He really wants to ask Yesung to just go home but his husband looks very excited.

“You don’t like it, eoh?” Yesung finally speaks out Siwon’s thought.

“I’m sorry. I just… It feels like they’re looking at me. I still… I’m sorry.” Siwon sincerely apologizes.

Yesung nods. “I know… Let’s just go home then,” replied Yesung calmly.

Everybody’s got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Yesung stands quietly in front of their bedroom door for quite some time. Siwon has directly head to their bedroom once they arrive at their house. Yesung’s hand is on the knob already but he hasn’t pushed the door yet. Somehow, Yesung just wants to give Siwon some time for himself. He also needs some time to calm himself. Yesung takes a deep breath before he finally pushes the door.

The bedroom is empty. Siwon isn’t on their bed. Yesung walks toward the bathroom as he hears a soft sound of running water from inside.

“Siwon-ah, are you okay?” asked Yesung carefully.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Yesung frowns hearing Siwon’s answer. He knows his husband isn’t fine. He can clearly sense that from Siwon’s shaky voice.

“Why don’t you go out. Let’s talk about it.” Yesung knocks the door.

“Siwonie,” called Yesung again.

“I need to take a bath, Yesung.”

“Siwon.” This time Yesung’s voice is lower few octave. Siwon knows his husband is being serious and he can’t just ignore Yesung. He finally opens the door.

“Yesung, I-“ Without letting Siwon finishes his sentence, Yesung tip toes and claims Siwon’s lips.

Though taken a back by Yesung’s sudden attack, Siwon eventually lets himself drown into Yesung’s arms and kiss. Slowly, Siwon pushes Yesung until the said guy touch the edge of their bed. Siwon ends their intimate moment once Yesung sits on the queen-sized bed.

Siwon crouches right in front of Yesung whose hands framed Siwon’s face. Yesung’s thumb touches Siwon’s cheek while the taller guy closes his eyes, enjoying the soft touch of his husband.

“Crowd still makes you uncomfortable?” It’s more like a statement instead of a question.

Siwon opens his eyes slowly and instantly meets Yesung’s worry gaze. “I’m fine,” answered Siwon. Hoping he sounds convincing.

Yesung shakes his head. “You’re still as perfect as ever, Siwon-ah.”

Siwon tries to avoid Yesung’s eyes. He laughs bitterly. Who is he lying at? Yesung? His husband who can read his mind easily. Siwon stands up and walks to the window. He rubs his face roughly and lets out a very loud sigh. Not long after, Siwon hears the sound of door being closed. It seems like Yesung leaves their bedroom. Feeling uneasy, Siwon finally decides to follow Yesung after several minutes. Siwon cannot find his husband in their living room so he walks toward the kitchen.

“Yak! Kim Yesung!” Siwon hastily runs toward Yesung who is standing in front of dining table. One hand holding a big knife while another one lying on the table.

Siwon grabs the knife as soon as he gets closer to Yesung and throws it on the floor, as far as possible. Siwon holds Yesung’s shoulders and shakes them. Worry is written all over his face.

“What do you think you are doing? Are you nut?” shouted Siwon.

Yesung looks at Siwon with glassy eyes. Tears are about to burst. Yesung bites his bottom lip, trying hard to surpress his emotion. “You feel uncomfortable when people look at you, right?” His voice is shaky.

“….. You’re afraid other will throw you judging look, aren’t you? You feel something wrong about your body. Right… We’ll be a weird couple then. I don’t mind losing my hand or other parts of my body if that can help you feel better.”

“Yesung-ah.” Now both of