Looking for a way to bring up an uncomfortable topic? Cho Taehyun’s surefire method is to trap the person you need to talk to in a shady-looking workshop-which-is-pretty-much-just-a-shed, telling them you have to talk to them, then proceed to stare at them for a good five minutes without actually talking to them. One out of one times, it’s proven to have worked with zero casualties, and a hundred percent success rate.

Taehyun stared him down, arms crossed. Her stare was uncanny, as if she was staring right through him—or right into his very soul. Whichever freaks you out more, just imagine exactly that. Jinki waited for her to say something, clueless about why she suddenly called him out. He tapped his foot anxiously. For a small person, Taehyun was largely intimidating.

“I heard about your dad,” she finally said, gently. Though her demeanor seemed strict and cold, her voice said otherwise. Jinki tensed up. “Isn’t it a little weird that word never got to me? That there wasn’t even an instance hinting to even the thought of it? Man, it’s almost as if someone didn’t want me to know. Do you think there was a person like that?”

Jinki paused, unsure of how to respond, before shrugging unconvincingly. He knew that one day she’d find out, but he didn’t know it’d be this soon. He hadn’t even had the chance to think about how he’d face her; up until recently, any thought of her was tinged in a dull, throbbing, mind-numbing pain—bordering even annoying, like a mosquito bite that he kept scratching at, but would just become itchier and more bothersome.

“I don’t know,” he said, lamely, “But it sounds like you already know the answer.” Taehyun pursed her lips, cocking her head sideways. She imitated his flimsy shrug.

“I don’t know,” she repeated, “But it sounds like you already know the answer.”

“You’re waiting for an explanation, right?” Jinki asked, and with the look on Taehyun’s face, he got an immediate answer.

“There isn’t some long, complicated story to it, Tae,” he said, putting his hands in his pockets, “You left me; we were both in a lot of pain. I didn’t wanna make it any worse for you.”

“Weren’t you the one who sang about ‘having each other’s backs’?” Taehyun questioned, “Honestly speaking, I’d gladly suffer some more if it meant that you’d breathe a little easier.” Jinki’s mouth fell ajar, as if meaning to say something, but not a whisper escaped his lips.

“I was just stating a fact, okay,” Taehyun quickly added, “Don’t let it get to your head.”

“I’m a modest guy,” Jinki bragged.

There was a period of silence before Taehyun opened her arms, stretching them wide.

“Come here,” she said. Jinki didn’t need to be told twice. He took her into her arms, and immediately felt like he was simultaneously melting into her and solidifying at the core. He felt so comfortable, he’s held her so many times before and this time was no different. He remembered this feeling, the indescribable comfort she made him feel. He sighed, his breath coming out shakily.

“You went through a hard time,” Taehyun said, lowly, “And I wasn’t there for you. I’m sorry.” He held her tighter, allowing a few tears to fall. He remembered the immense weight of his father’s passing. He’d never felt such a sharp pain. He couldn’t, and still can’t, wrap his head around why. Why he suddenly had to leave, why he felt the need to go, why he was taken from him. It was all a mystery to him. A mystery he’d rather leave at that than solve.

Jinki hid his sadness, kept his tears from falling, because people needed him. Among everyone, his mother needed him the most. He was her pillar, and he had no intentions of tumbling down before her.

“No one expected it,” he choked, “He just… He just—” Jinki was at a sudden loss for words; overwhelmed by long suppressed emotions. Taehyun shushed him, allowing him to cry.

Everyone admired Jinki for his strength. He rooted himself into the ground, and carried on. He didn’t allow anyone to see him in pieces, because he didn’t want anyone to think he needed to be put back together. His pride told him that he wasn’t broken, that he didn’t need fixing. Absurd societal norms forcefully, blindly imbedded into him, forced him to ‘man up’, ‘ it up’ because ‘he was a man’ and ‘men didn’t cry’.

Well, if you didn’t already know, humans cry. It’s the natural, universal expression of intense emotion, pain, or distress.

Pain, sorrow, grief, sadness. They are emotions that scream into your ear for your attention, poke you with the shards of your own broken heart; forever taut and disfigured with their own cruelty. A good sob, whether it be loud, full of screams and curses, with your voice cracking and ending up hoarse, or quiet, hot tears that stream down without end, helps release any pain; helps with the healing process.

After a while, she spoke up.

“I think he lived his life well,” Taehyun said, certainly, “Sure, he spent most of it working, but when the day was over, he went back home to his loving family. I’m jealous.” Jinki found it within him to smile. Taehyun pulled away, wanting to meet his eyes. She brushed a tear away, and smiled sadly.

“I never met him,” she began, “But I’m sure he would’ve liked me.” Jinki laughed.

You probably know that feeling, right? When someone makes you laugh right after you’ve cried your eyeballs out? It’s a sharp happiness that cuts your sorrow in half. If you can, dispose of that sadness then and there. Don’t put half of that sorrow into your back pocket as a reserve.

“I don’t know about that,” Jinki joked, wiping away a stray tear. “You might’ve scared him.”

“Even better,” Taehyun commented, grinning.

“Can we visit him soon?” she added, “I have a lot to report back to him. ‘Sir, did you know that your son tagged along for karaoke and sang, like, one song. And it was a breakup song, too. What a downer.’.”

“Like you didn’t!” Jinki exclaimed, feigning feeling wronged. “I clearly remember hearing something along the lines of ‘I want to wash down my pain with alcohol, my sadness with laughter, and I did.’. I’m one hundred percent sure, someone sang that. ‘Don’t listen to her, dad. She’s such a downer.’.”

“Wow, alright—,” Taehyun sputtered, “No, no, no, ‘Dad, you gotta hear this. Jinki has this kink for goose feathers or something—‘—”

“My dad doesn’t need to know that!”

“Wait, so you’re admitting to it?”

“Ya!”