I still remember that day when we first meet, it were our trainees day. Thinking of that I'm laughing because you called me hyung, you thought I was elder than you...hehehe, I was shocked, I thought you’re not Korean, due to your big eyes & small face, I was staring at you &  didn’t give you any reaction but you just smiled at me. Actually to be honest I was really get impressed by you,  I knew that I just fell for you.

From that day I started to check you, sometimes we talked but mostly you were there away with others. You were most pampered kid by those all hyungs now they are suju members & why not??  you were the  most energetic, outgoing, handsome kid as well as  dorky, funny, cute.  A friendly person like you able to make quick friends, I really envied you back then or now also. Slowly I started to know you, you were also going back & forth  to school & then come to practice like me so I could relate you most.

           I liked your innocence, sporty nature, cute face & expressive big eyes. 
When we became as team "shinee", I was so happy to have you in my team. You were maknae before me came into team but you took care of me most though your place was taken by me. May be it was the little age distance between us or you are such a sweet heart that time also.

      I was just 14 & you were 16, we both were so innocent & very much unknown about the showbizz. Whenever I cried or I missed my home, you were there first to wipe my tears. Whenever I stumbled on the way of that new world you were there to hold me.
 

You became my best friend, buddy my second home. Other hyungs were good & loves me lot, Onew hyung helped me in vocals, Jonghyun hyung was always supportive, Key hyung was like my umma but I always seek for your presence, I felt comfortable with you.

     You always tried so hard to make me happy, making funny face, taking my burden on your shoulder, giving me encouragement & support. Remember on that radio show you said you cared about me, I was moved due to your words. Why did you take care of me so much? Why you loved me ? Actually you spoiled me a lot, I'm still not used to be myself sometime.

                There were arguments & fights too but you always taken a back though sometimes I was on fault. You said I'm elder than you & I have to take care of you but you know it was hurt me sometimes. I wanted to share these things with you, I didn’t want any problem to you, I wanted to be your reason for smile.

 Whenever you ruffled my hairs, hold me tight or smiled at me I felt loved. It was like warm energy which gives me wings to fly high. You were so simple yet cool for me; I wanted to follow you everywhere. I hate to see you sad but I did experience this & it was heartbreaking for me. It was such a hash days before & after debut, especially for us to balance between our studies & practice with so many schedules. We just tried to do what company or our supervisor told us to do. Actually we all suffered so much & you were most humble, follow all rule kid that’s why you were favourite to them.

      I felt sad when some people commented on your talent, I wanted to punch them, did they know how hard work you took?  Did they listen your soft voice which touches heart, did they hear your rap? which actually burning with passion, you actually wrote all of them, I saw how devotedly you made it & they didn’t even appreciated it, did they ever watch your dance carefully with all those emotions & energy which was radiating its glory?. Sometimes I made mistakes but then I looked at you because I knew you are always correct. Did they ever understand how big hearted person you are? You wrote lyrics, acted best, won all spots..... But they still acted like blind !!  I had one question in my mind what they actually want from you?

    I wanted to scream all this things to them but you always stopped me. You said just ignored it, do more better work & never give up. How could you say that? I got hyper some time but you cooled me with your smile.

     But you know something though you still think I’m kid, I knew you get hurt because of that silly critic comments,  I  could see that sadness which you tried to hide behind your cute smile, I could see that pain which you masked behind your calmness. After that you became so quite, rarely faced any camera questions, avoid talking, tried focus out from all that glamour.

    Why you always bottled down your all emotions? You also rarely cried, you said it could make us weak so I did the same but I can't hide my emotions ......I'm not good actor like you.
It's been 10 years now, we know each other very well , things changed little, now people appreciate your talent & they have tbh ...I became more matured... I think...hehehe, now don't like to take part in your or other hyungs silly things but I still enjoys it so don't stop it.

I wanted to say you so many things, just don’t know how to start with or what to say ? there are so many moments I enjoyed being with you......are you listening hyung? Can you hear my feelings? I want to say you something very special........hyung!!!

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hello friends, 

little chapter ri8? but I will add more ....plz comment hw it is? & you can also suggest me some moments so I will write about them in each chapter .

thank you & love you ^^