"Mino, lets break up."

It was exactly last year, right before Christmas, Mino’s girlfriend broke up with him. Mino asks himself, why was he remembering all of this now?

"It’s not you, it’s me, and I’m sorry Mino."

Mino knows he was the main reason for the break up. He knows for sure his ex-girlfriend found someone new, someone who can give her what she wanted. Clearly Mino was the total opposite. He worked as a programmer for a small game company that just paid enough to let him have three meals a day and to pay for his apartment’s rent. He can never give her the things she wanted in life. To make everything worse, the company he was working for went bankrupt. Just great.

His life right now was similar to the dramas his girlfriend, now ex, used to watch. The only difference is that he won’t have a happy ending like those he sees in the drama, where he would kiss his girl under the rain and live happily ever after with five kids.

Mino ruffled his hair in annoyance and sighs. He was single, jobless, cold and alone.

“Way to spend Christmas Eve.” Mino says to himself as he sighs again and walks alone in the snowy streets. Mino sits by a bench in a nearby park from his apartment and lit up a cigarette for a smoke. Mino observes the Christmas lights on a few buildings and exhales his smoke with another sigh.

“You look like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.” Someone beside him says, who Mino didn’t notice have sat down on the corner of the bench while he was in the middle of his thoughts.

“Rough day.” Mino replies and took a quick glance at the stranger. The stranger had a scarf covering half of his face but Mino could still slightly see the stranger’s prominent cheek bones and the Christmas lights that was reflected in his eyes.

“Same.” The stranger lets out a long deep sigh, he looks like he is the one who was carrying the world on his shoulders. Mino extends his hand, offering the stranger a stick from his pack of cigarettes but the stranger refuses the cigarette, “No thank you, I don’t smoke. I’m a doctor you see…” he paused for a bit, thinking of how to continue his sentence.

“Well, I was supposed to be a doctor.” The stranger says with obvious sadness in his eyes.

“What does that mean?” Mino asks, his curiosity taking over him.

“I failed my medical license exam.” The stranger replies.

“Well it’s better than having your girlfriend break up with you and losing your job and your apartment’s rent is due by the end of the month.” Mino replied with a weak laugh realizing how pathetic he sounds at the moment.

The stranger’s eyes forms a straight line and he extends his arm to Mino, “It is nice to meet you fellow my-life-before-Christmas-is-. My name is Seunghoon.”

“I’m Mino. It is nice to meet a fellow -my-life-where-did-i-go-wrong-i-don’t-deserve-this too.” Mino says earning a laugh from Seunghoon. He shakes Seunghoon’s hand which was warm, completely opposite of the weather and for the first time that day Mino felt that he was not alone anymore.

Mino celebrates his Christmas Eve with Seunghoon over soju, gimbap and tteokbokki in a nearby tented street stall. Mino can’t keep track on how many times Seunghoon made him laugh and how many times he almost choked on his soju from Seunghoon’s various antics.

“Its 12AM! Merry Christmas Mino-ssi, as a present I offer you half of my gimbap.” Seunghoon cutely says to Mino after checking his watch.

“Thank you Seunghoon-ssi, but that gimbap is mine and you already ate yours.”

Mino cannot remember the last time he laughed like this – really, honestly laughed.

Seunghoon was already half-drunk when he told Mino how he witnessed the love of his life kissing another man the day he decided to confess his feelings for him and Seunghoon emphasized that it happened the day before he learned he failed his license exam.

They both toast to the love they lost that day and to their careers.

Mino doesn’t know if it was the alcohol or Seunghoon has this weird effect on him, Mino can feel his whole body heating up whenever their eyes met. Maybe it was when their legs would accidentally brush with each other’s or maybe the way Seunghoon would stare at him for a long time and Mino would just drown in Seunghoon’s dark deep eyes.





Mino sleeps with Seunghoon, their bodies entwined to the sweet allurement of the night’s aroma. Mino doesn’t remember how or when they ended up on a bed but he remembers pulling Seunghoon for a kiss when he bid farewell earlier. If this would be the last time he would see Seunghoon, at least he should make their meeting and their Christmas worthwhile. Mino wants this, he wants to forget everything even just for a night.

They both collapsed on bed, sheen with sweat and breathing heavily. Mino sees Seunghoon’s sheepishly good-looking smile for the last time that night before succumbing to sleep.

Mino wakes up with his lower body aching on an empty bed in a hotel room. He sees a mug filled with cold coffee on the desk beside the bed and assumes that Seunghoon had already left a long time ago. Beside the mug were painkillers and a piece of paper with Seunghoon’s contact number messily scribbled on it.



Mino didn’t call Seunghoon.


 

I know, it took me quite a while
I needed time to figure out
Why and how
It was like a roller coaster ride
Of never ending questions
And it still is

The second time Mino and Seunghoon meets was when rose quartz petals filled the pathways of a park. Mino sat under a cherry blossom tree with a half-eaten sandwich and a sketchbook on his lap. Mino had his earphones on, trying to ignore the people around him and trying his best to focus on his drawing of the cherry blossom trees that surrounded him. But some sort of mysterious force let him spot Seunghoon just a few feet away from him. Seunghoon was good-looking as Mino always remembered, his high cheekbones was prominent as ever and that eye smile that Mino will surely never forget.

Mino's heart sunk a little when he sees that Seunghoon wasn't alone. Seunghoon had his arms around a guy – the guy was relatively smaller than Seunghoon. He was pretty – very pretty, his large deer eyes were easily seen from afar, Mino sees the guy laughs and playfully hits Seunghoon on his shoulder whenever Seunghoon whispers something to him. They look happy. Seunghoon looks happy.

Mino's heart skips a beat when he saw Seunghoon looks at his direction, but Mino thinks it was just his imagination. He was wearing glasses and has his hair down today, completely opposite of what he looked like when he met Seunghoon for the first time. He goes back to sketching but he can't seem to concentrate on his drawing anymore.

When he takes a peek at Seunghoon's direction again, Mino sees a guy with droopy eyebrows arriving at the scene. The deer eyed guy with Seunghoon quickly unwrapped himself from Seunghoon’s arms and ran straight to the droopy eyebrow guy, meeting him with a kiss. He sees the two guys bid Seunghoon farewell before walking away hand in hand. Despite Seunghoon being a few feet away from him, he can clearly see Seunghoon's wrecked expression when the couple was out of his sight. That was him, the love of Seunghoon’s life.

Mino's heart has now sunken deep and probably Seunghoon's too, he feels sad for Seunghoon. Mino went back to his sketchbook and just stared at a blank page losing track of the time and his will to draw. When he takes a look again at Seunghoon’s direction, Seunghoon was already gone.

Mino was about to fix his things and call it a day when someone pats his shoulder from behind.

“Holy you scared me.” Mino says with his surprised hamster expression.

It was Seunghoon.

“Nice to see you too Mino-ssi.” Seunghoon smiles at Mino. Mino felt like his whole existence melted right in front of Seunghoon. What was Seunghoon doing here?

“Are you alone? Can I sit with you for a bit?” Mino sees Seunghoon taking a short look at his sketchbook.

Mino only nods, “how did you know I was here?” He asks.

“I can see your handsome face from afar.” Seunghoon said while he lays down, not sitting, beside Mino under the cherry blossom tree.

Did Seunghoon just say he was handsome? Mino blushes and he goes back to his sketchbook, pretending to continue his cherry blossom drawing.

“Your drawing looks nice. You should sell that or open an exhibit.” Seunghoon says, laying down with his eyes closed and hands under his head.

“Thanks, but drawing is only a hobby for me and I don’t see myself doing art professionally.” Mino says, he hears Seunghoon hums and silence fell upon them, the only thing Mino hears was the spring breeze and children’s laughter from the distance.

He takes a peek at Seunghoon who was sleeping peacefully beside him, there was a cherry blossom petal on Seunghoon’s bangs and it was taking a lot of Mino’s patience not to brush it of off Seunghoon’s hair.

Suddenly a strong gust of spring breeze blew which caused the pages of Mino’s sketchbook to flip. It opens to a page of one of his old sketches he did way back in college and Mino doesn’t know how many times his heart will sink that day. It was an old sketch of a very familiar guy with plump lips that was red as cherries. He was Mino’s first love and he was also Mino’s first heartbreak.

Mino closes his sketchbook and sighs, he takes another peek at Seunghoon beside him, who was now sitting down and staring at his closed sketchbook.

“Who’s he?” Seunghoon asks him.

So he saw, Mino says to himself.

“He was my childhood friend whom I loved dearly.” Mino calmly says to Seunghoon. “We were together till we graduated college then I confessed before he went overseas to pursue a career in music, but I wasn’t enough to make him stay here. And in the end I let him go.” Mino feels comfortable sharing everything with Seunghoon, it is only the second time they met but he feels like he knows Seunghoon for a long time already.

Seunghoon was looking at him with a lot of melancholy in his eyes. “But that was a long time ago, I’ve gotten over it.” Mino added.

They were both silent for a while, Mino sees Seunghoon was deep in his thoughts

“Maybe I should have done something like what you did. Maybe everything could have been different right now,” Seunghoon said breaking the silence.

“I was with him earlier… the guy I love, my best friend… I saw him walk away with my closest frien