[1/1]

Saving Grace

Jaehwan’s eyes snap open, and he manages to sit upright as he heaves for breath, coughing as softly as he can to leave Hongbin’s sleep undisturbed. His hand travels up to the center of his chest to grasp his shirt tightly, as he struggles to form coherent thoughts, thoughts separate from the fear he is plagued with.

No one knows what he is going through, and Jaehwan plans to keep it that way. The last thing he needs is to make the members panic.

He hears the sound of shifting covers, and panics when he can make out Hongbin blinking sleepily at him.

“Hyung?” He mumbles dazedly, “What’re you doing?”

Jaehwan tries to smile reassuringly, and it comes easily to him after a month of lies.

“Don’t worry, Hongbin-ah. Go to sleep.”

The younger squints at him, biting his lip, and shrugs.

“M’Kay,” He says, before promptly falling asleep.

Jaehwan chuckles, despite the choking hold his thoughts have on him, before shaking his head softly. Despite Hongbin’s protests that he is ‘so not cute’ and ’totally y’ he still does things like this which should constitute as an entirely different brand of aegyo.

Still, the humorous thought is not enough to distract him from the matter at hand. Despite the voice in his head that tells him no, don’t do this, Jaehwan reaches a shaky hand to the bedside table on which he knows his phone rests.

 

[11:01 PM] Are you sleeping well, babe? See you tomorrow ;)

 

That message seems so innocent, but every time Jaehwan sees it, he can hardly prevent the tears from leaking out of the corners of his eyes, and he shoves his hand into his mouth to prevent his sobs from being too loud.

It’s been happening for almost a month or two; the first few messages are somewhat normal but as they progress, they’re getting much more obsessive, to the point that Jaehwan’s beginning to get scared. He doesn’t know how they keep tracking him; he has no schedules tomorrow, but they clearly seem to know that they’re going to see him. He doesn’t understand.

And he is so, so terrified.

He puts the phone back on his bead, rests his head on his fluffy white pillow, and closes his eyes. Sleep will come to him eventually, he is sure.

Jaehwan falls asleep hours later.

 

When he wakes up, he’s prepared for the newest message. And he is not disappointed (though he really, really wishes he were) when he sees the message notification on his phone.

“Oh, Jaehwan-ah!” His head snaps up, and he immediately slips his phone into the pocket of his flannel pajamas, before he stands up to face Hakyeon with a smile adorning his face, as usual. “You’re awake! I got a little worried when you didn’t get up at the usual time, you know.”

“Usual time,” Jaehwan says slowly, before his head snaps up, “What’s the time?”

Hakyeon blinks at him, clearly baffled by the urgency in his voice, before looking at his watch.

“It’s almost noon,” The leader informs him, and it takes all of Jaehwan’s willpower not to wail. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Jaehwan smiles for the umpteenth time, “I forgot that we’ve got a free day today for a second.”

“That’s weird,” Hakyeon frowns, and Jaehwan’s throat squeezes as he tries not to panic. “You were so excited about it yesterday!”

“Yeah, I think it’s weird too.” Jaehwan shrugs, before grinning and bounding over to Hakyeon, “At least we’ve still got half the day to enjoy ourselves!”

He talks with his hyung for a bit, before going to the bathroom to wash that god-awful taste out of his mouth. He closes the bathroom door behind him, and it’s when he reaches for his toothpaste that he notices the bathroom window. Almost immediately, panic leaps into his chest, and he scrambles around for something, anything. He finally stumbles upon a thin plastic sheet, and he wastes no time in covering up the window.

His curtains are drawn shut too, right?

His phone buzzes then, and he startles.

The message from the morning is somewhat bearable to look at:

 

[8:56 AM] Good morning baby.

 

When he sees the second message though, he can’t breathe.

 

[12:07 PM] Are you hiding from me babe? Don’t be shy.

He feels the room closing up on him, feel’s the breath gushing out of his chest as he sits on the closed lid of the toilet, knees drawn up to his chest, because the person is right outside their dorms.

Breathe in, breathe out. He tells himself this, repeating it like a broken record.

“Hyung?” A knock at the door startles him, and he nearly drops his phone. “Are you done yet? I wanna go out!”

It’s Sanghyuk, Jaehwan realizes, as he steadies his breathing and prepares himself to answer.

“Hyung is almost done, Hyukkie!” He calls, before turning on the water tap to disguise the tremors in his voice. “Why don’t you figure out where you’re going to go?”

“Okay Hyung!” He hears the footsteps, and assumes his dongsaeng has left.

To be frank, Jaehwan doesn’t want to go outside anymore, not when he is so sure that his stalker is nearby. But, at the same time, he doesn’t want to upset the other members, and being the only person staying back at the dorms would be counted as being a party-pooper. Plus, it was really risky.

Barely stifling a yawn, Jaehwan sighs, resigning himself to using mouthwash instead.

 

“You’re finally out.” Jaehwan is caught mid-yawn by Taekwoon, who is perched on the couch in a position expected from a feline. “What took you so long?”

Jaehwan laughs nervously, because this is Taekwoon and it’s so hard to lie to him.

“It’s nothing, Hyung,” He smiles, scratching his head, “I just kept forgetting my clothes and stuff, as usual. Silly me!”

As soon as the words leave his mouth, he inwardly cringes. That is, perhaps, the worst lie he has ever told anyone.

Taekwoon’s eyes narrow, but he says nothing, and just nods at the door. Jaehwan takes that as a sign to leave, and he waits for Taekwoon in the hall as the latter locks the door. He’s told that the others are already outside with the manager, and he can’t help the fear that spikes up at the thought that there is only one another person with him.

He is, luckily, known to be really clingy, so he gets away with hanging off Taekwoon’s arm until they reach the others. He calls first dibs on the backseat (after all, isn’t any other seat too risky?), and is squished in with Wonsik; Hyukkie, Hongbin and Taekwoon take the middle, while Hakyeon’s at shotgun.

“So, where’re we going?” Jaehwan does his best to act cheerful, and it seems to work, because Sanghyuk replies that he wants to go eat pizza, and Hongbin throws in his consent, while Hakyeon expresses his disapproval, because they could just eat it in the dorms, couldn’t they?

It’s after a while that Jaehwan notices that neither Taekwoon nor Wonsik have said a word. Taekwoon not speaking is a normal occurrence, but Wonsik not saying a word is strange. He might not be the most talkative member, but he’s never held himself back either.

When Jaehwan looks at him, though, he’s surprised to find the black-haired man staring at him, worry evident in his eyes.

“Are you okay?” Wonsik asks, and Jaehwan prepares himself to lie to the fifth member of VIXX today, when Wonsik continues, “And don’t tell me it’s nothing, Hyung. You haven’t been very fine lately.”

And Jaehwan can’t help the wide-eyed look on his face; he knows he must be doing the perfect imitation of the deer in the headlights because Wonsik furrows his eyebrows, a sign that he’s getting more concerned.

“What’s wrong, Hyung?”

“Ah, nothing Wonsik-ah.” Jaehwan smiles as gently as possible, “I’ve just been really stressed these days, with the MV shootings and everything. I’ll just need to sleep it off.”

Wonsik doesn’t look very convinced, but nods anyway, and Jaehwan really, really wants too blurt out everything to his dongsaeng, to get everything off his chest. But he stays silent.

Wonsik doesn’t deserve it.

“So, where are we going hyung?” Sanghyuk crosses his arms and huffs, and Jaehwan watches as Hakyeon reaches out to smack Sanghyuk on the head, saying that there is absolutely no way that they’re going for pizza of all things.

 

They’re sitting in the pizza parlor, waiting for their order (one large margarita, because cheese is the best) when Jaehwan’s phone, which is lying on the table, buzzes.

“Who is it, Hyung?” Hongbin, ever the curious one, asks earnestly, eyes interested.

Jaehwan checks his phone, swallows when he sees that familiar number, and smiles. “No one important Binnie. Why don’t you go join Hyukkie in that karaoke contest thing?”

“You should go, Hyung!” Wonsik cheers, and all Jaehwan can think is oh god no, because his stalker’s got to be around here somewhere if he got a text. Jaehwan’s... he’s terrified.

“Nah thanks.” He grins at Wonsik, “I’m getting a sore throat, you know?”

His phone buzzes again, but he ignores it in favor of telling Wonsik to go supervise Sanghyuk and Hongbin. Hakyeon and Taekwoon are at the table too, but they’re engaged in a mostly one-sided conversation about promotional activities, so Jaehwan figures that it’s okay to check the messages. His brain says no, but his eyes can’t help but scan over the words.

 

[2:02 PM] Cheese pizza? That’s so cute.

 

[2:04 PM] You don’t think I’m important, baby? I’m hurt. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll make up for it later.

 

That last one makes Jaehwan’s throat close up. This person, whoever he or she is, is getting much more creepy. He keeps staring at the text, keeps staring as his vision swims, and his breaths grow shorter, and why does everything sound so muffled?

“-Jaehwan!” Hakyeon is shaking him, he realizes, and Taekwoon is-

Jaehwan’s heart plummets.

Taekwoon is looking at his phone. His eyebrows are furrowed, mouth set in a line, as he sees everything that Jaehwan has been trying to contain. He doesn’t even remember when the blonde took it.

“Hyung,” He whispers in shock, “Hyung, please, give me my phone back.”

Taekwoon doesn’t answer, just continues looking at the texts, scrolling up to find a month’s worth of messages. Hakyeon seems to understand that something is going on, because he tries to look over Taekwoon’s shoulder.

Tears spring into Jaehwan’s eyes, and he hastily scrubs at his eyes because he can’t look weak in front of everyone. He gets up, intending to swipe his phone back from Taekwoon, but can’t because he’s being blocked by the taller man.

“How long has this been going on?” Taekwoon asks, a deep crease between his eyebrows, and Jaehwan wants to the sink to the ground and bawl his eyes out, “How long have you been hiding this from us?”

Just then, his phone begins to ring, and Jaehwan’s eyes widen when he sees the caller ID, because he’s never been called by that number before, just texted. Taekwoon seems surprised, because Jaehwan manages to snatch the phone from his grasp and, despite every part of him against the idea, his finger automatically swipes to accept the call.

Oh good, you picked up.” It’s a female, Jaehwan realizes with a start, “You didn’t tell anyone about me then, Jaehwannie? That’s so mean of you, you know!”

The female laughs, high-pitched and plain cruel, “It’s okay though. I’ve been waiting so long to see you properly Jaehwannie, and I’m glad I can finally do it. You see,”

The voice lowers, gets even more terrifying, “You’re mine, Lee Jaehwan. No matter what you, or anyone else, say, every fiber of your being belongs to me.”

The phone drops out of his hand, and Jaehwan’s feeling so light-headed and tiny and fragile when Hakyeon gathers him into his arms, while Taekwoon answers the phone instead.

Jaehwan could faintly hear him say something angrily into the phone, before ending the call, and can barely focus on Hakyeon’s words; he can only feel his hands rubbing along his back.

“What’s going on?” He hears someone say (Hongbin, he registers faintly) as Hakyeon helps him up.

“We’re leaving now.” Hakyeon doesn’t answer and gives the order as he drags Jaehwan out by his arm. Jaehwan tries his best to keep his head down and walk; partly to hide his tears, and also to escape.

He feels himself get shoved inside the car, and his body moves on autopilot as it arranges itself in the backseat. This time, Hakyeon squeezes beside him and Wonsik takes shotgun.

“What’s happening?” He can see Hyuk’s face, pale and drawn, and almost immediately, Jaehwan feels the guilt tightly coil around his heart, squeezing it to the point he thinks it might burst. None of the members deserve this.

“It’s just a small problem, Hyuk-ah,” He feels Hakyeon shift to make himself comfortable, as the car moves. “You don’t need to worry.”

“Then why is Hyung like this?” He hears the ferocity in Hongbin’s voice, and a small, tiny part of him coils back at that, at the rage he can feel. He doesn’t want Hongbin to be mad at him, but he knows it’s his fault anyway.

“I’m sorry,” In the quiet of the car, the words that accidently escape his mouth seem to cut through the tension.

“Why’re you sorry hyung?” Wonsik calls, as Hakyeon tightens his arms around Jaehwan.

“It’s my fault,” Jaehwan forces himself to look up, forces himself to look at what he’s done to s, sees how he’s made them so rattled.

He can see Taekwoon drumming his fingers against the car window silently, a habit he’s developed that is, perhaps, the only annoying trait he possesses; he can see Hyuk and Hongbin pressed close to each other in an attempt to obtain a level of comfort. Wonsik is starting right at him, and Hakyeon…Hakyeon is looking through the rear window, alarm growing in his dark brown eyes.

“Manager-hyung!” He yells, shocking everyone because Hakyeon never yells at them, ever, not even when he sees Hyuk steal his favorite book, not even when Taekwoon ‘borrows’ his hair products, not when Jaehwan forces him out of bed on an off day…it’s never happened.

“What is it?” Their manager asks calmly, switching lanes.

Hakyeon’s eyes never leave the rear window as he answers, “We’re being followed!”

Almost immediately, their manager swears and hits the accelerator. Jaehwan can’t help the tears that stream down his face as he cranes his head to see a silver car behind them. Inside, he can faintly make out two females, obviously foreigners.

“H-hyung,” He sobs, burrowing into Hakyeon’s embrace, “I’m scared, Hyung. What if- what if-“

He can’t finish his sentence because Hyuk interrupts, his eyes wide as saucers.

“Saesang…” He breathes out, just as Hongbin exclaims, “Hyung, you’ve got a stalker?!”

Jaehwan forces himself to nod, forces the words out of his mouth.

“It’s been happening for more than a month,” He whispers, clutching at Hakyeon when the car swerves again, jostling him, “I’m sorry.”

“You should’ve told management,” The manager says angrily, mouth pressed in a thin line, “None of this would’ve happened if you had told me; we’ll be having a talk after this is over.”

Jaehwan can only make a small noise through his tears. As the car swerves to the left, Taekwoon speaks softly, as he usually does:

“Next time, you need to tell us what’s going on.” Taekwoon’s eyes are dark, and Jaehwan’s mouth runs dry, “We’re here for a reason, Jaehwan-ah.”

“Yeah,” Hongbin says, uncomfortable because he usually hates doing things like this, “We’re gonna help you, don’t worry.”

“I want to see the messages.”

It’s Hyuk who says that, and Jaehwan can’t help the sense of alarm that rockets through him when he sees Taekwoon hand his phone over. He doesn’t think; he just lunges for the phone, failing as Hyuk holds it at arm’s length. The worst part is that he knows the phone’s password; everyone in VIXX shares their passwords with each other as a sign of trust, and Jaehwan was too stupid to change it.

He sees Hyuk’s face go pale as a sheet of paper, a sign that he is both terrified and enraged. Jaehwan can’t help but shrink back, and he feels a wave of self-loathing crash over him as he realizes just how much he resembles an animal backed into a corner.

“I’m going to kill this ,” Hyuk snarls, and Hakyeon feebly tells him to mind his language, but it’s obvious that he feels similarly. It’s then that Jaehwan realizes, with a painful exhilaration, that they care about him, that they don’t mind his stupidity for getting them into this situation.

And once again, the tears spring forth.

“Could you stop crying, Hyung?” Wonsik requests uncomfortably, as the car screeches to a halt in front of their dorms, “It’s kind of awkward.”

Jaehwan can only sob some more, in relief.

 

For the next week, VIXX is instructed not to leave the dorms; they’ve got body guards stationed outside just in case anyone drops in unexpectedly. Jaehwan is only allowed to call his family once- and when he does, the entire call is filled with whispered assurances and muffled whimpers- before his phone is taken away for safety purposes. The only one who gets to keep his phone is Hakyeon, and just to keep in touch with Jellyfish. Jaehwan would normally feel pressured, being constrained inside the dorms, but the members of VIXX are always around him, keeping him happy and comfortable.

When he feels down, he can always look for Hongbin’s shy smiles, Hakyeon’s comforting words, Wonsik’s hilarity, Hyuk’s cheerfulness and Taekwoon’s insights, he realizes. He realizes something that he feels has been so, so obvious since the beginning. And when they are finally told that they have caught Jaehwan’s stalker, s envelop him in a group hug as the tension leaves his body that enforces his idea.

They are his saving grace.


I don't know how this happened, but it did, heh heh...

Yay or nay? Please don't hesitate to let me know!

~beingawesome123

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Ixaralee #1
Chapter 1: I rarely get to read fic with him as the main.. i sure hope to find this kind of fic in the future.. i love this..
mystification1220
#2
Chapter 1: Awww Jaehwanie. This was written so well. It nearly brought me to tears.
Uvichan1 #3
Chapter 1: Yay, for sure. At first I thought the stalker might be wonshiki but then I thought that would be too wierd.
I wonder if things like this actually happen to them..?