Hi. I’m trash for RS and for the idea of hanahaki byou.

The first time the flowers appear is the night Eric tells you and the members that he’s dating Park Si-yeon. They are red spider lilies and all you can remember is the sound of your heart breaking.

You keep it a secret from everyone because you know what it is and you know why it’s happening and you don’t want to explain.

You’re always on edge that someone will find out because of all the constant coughing but at least they buy your lies of “Oh I just have a mild cold” or “My throat is sore”. But things never turn out in your favor as you’re recording for the new Shinhwa album, you just can’t stop coughing and this time the flowers appear and Minwoo sees them.

“Hyesung...how long?”

“A few weeks”

“Who is it?”

“I’m not telling you, just keep it a secret. Please Minwoo, please.”

“Fine.”

You’re lucky it was only Minwoo who found out that you have hanahaki byou but you have a feeling that all the effort to conceal it was going to go down the drain. Minwoo, Dongwan, and you are recording the last bits for the new album when you pass out suddenly. You find yourself waking up in the hospital and you’re relieved to hear from Minwoo that none of the other members besides Dongwan know you’re in the hospital.

“Hyesung-ah, why didn’t you tell me? I wouldn’t have told anyone”

“I’m sorry Dongwan and Minwoo, it’s always been Eric.”

Three months have passed and you’re thankful that you haven’t had many interactions with Eric since the start. Just the occasional text of “How are you?” and “I’m fine”. But it’s all coming to an end when Junjin and Andy are over and the coughing fit starts and the flowers come out. Shocked looks come from the two youngest and silence creeps in until you break the ice and tell them that you’re sorry for not telling them and that it’s not killing you at all but in reality it is. Junjin and Andy are now protecting your secret and they won’t know why until the very end.

You are now permanently hospitalized because the coughing won’t stop and the members, including the clueless Eric, are all worried about you. Every morning you wake up to a plethora of flowers on your pillow, you clean them all up before morning visiting hour and you know your time is coming to an end soon unless you confess and by some miracle, Eric reciprocates your love.

You’ve messed up and now he knows. You woke up a little bit later than usual and while you’re getting rid of the flowers you’ve coughed up in the night and currently coughing up, he walks in and time comes to a standstill. He questions you relentlessly and you’re done with all of this and you spill out everything.

“You know what? I’ll tell you why. It’s because I’m in love you with you! I’ve been in love with you for more than 2 years and you know how this ends Eric. I’m going to die anyways, I know you don’t love me like how I love you.”

Eric breaks up with Si-yeon after 6 months. You feel happy and sad at the same time.

Minwoo and Junjin are there visiting you and you can barely process what they’re trying to tell you because all you can think about is how pitiful you are. Your strength is fading and so does your vision. Both of them doesn’t realize this but you do and you know it’s all about to end.

“...And so Eric decided to break it off with her because he felt confused about you confessing to him…”

The second right after you eyes close, the heart monitor shows that your heart beat is failing and the last thing you hear is Minwoo panicking, screaming your name while shaking you, and Junjin yelling for a doctor.

Let’s just pretend Eric dated PSY for only 6 months for the sake of this story lmao

Any comments/feedback would be nice! ( ´ ▽ ` )