NOTE: Written Circa 2013

Aches and Pains

Kyuhyun had a headache.

 A dangerous, endless throbbing in the base of his skull that refused to go away no matter what he did.

 It had been hours and it had been getting progressively worst. By this time he sat upon his bed washed and changed, phone clenched in his hands, so tight that he thought he would the other covering, back pressed against the wall, waiting and waiting. His eyes flutter close ever so open, the muscles about his body taunt and painful, the tiredness seeping in rapidly.

Sungmin had rubbed his thighs for him earlier, the poor man having to give most of them massages even in his tired state, the aches and pains just too much. A full length concert was never a joke and they had all worked hard, some much harder than they should if they had any sense. If some people had any sense at all they would have just stayed backstage and rested and not cause their ‘ whatever Kyuhyun was’ to worry about them and get a headache and lose sleep and clench his phone so tightly that he would probably break it and need a new one.

 Clearly some people had no sense and Kyuhyun had no taste.

Why on earth would he decide not to just date but be stupidly irrevocably in love with the most stubborn jackass in existence? If Kyuhyun had any sense for that matter, he would have run for the hills the first time that coffee cinnamon invaded his nostrils and never looked back. He would have avoided the warmth of miniature fingers and save his soul.

Instead what did he do?

He drove right in and got himself hopelessly endlessly attached to the most frustratingly annoying human being on the planet. Not only was the bastard infinitely stubborn and nonsensical, he was by his very nature clumsy as hell. The idiot would trip on thin air and hurt those precious little fingers of his and Kyuhyun would feel like his insides were churning. And if that was not enough, he would have to be a wilful jackass and insist on coming out to perform even when he knew he was not supposed to.

Kyuhyun didn’t know what he would do with him, but the way his mind worked, he strongly suspected that he would rip the idiot’s head off and be done with it. He would lock him in a cell or better yet lock him in his arms where he could protect him even from himself and those clumsy feet and that horrible balance. He would keep him away from clingy dongsaengs and dangerous stages, away from everything and everyone.

He would hold him close like the precious thing he was and take care of him, hide him from anything and everything that could hurt him, keep him away from that blasted enlistment that he insists on talking about when he had told him a thousand times that he didn’t want to hear him talk about that until he was ready and as it was, he sure as hell, wasn’t close to being ready at any point in time.

The bastard!!

Kyuhyun glaring at his phone as if he thought it would be afraid of him and just ring. The phone didn’t ring but he heard the outer casing crunch a bit, his fingers hurting from the idiotic action but he didn’t care. The pain in his fingers was much easier to deal with than the pain in his mind, pain in his heart, the pain of worry.

He supposed that he had not been sitting there long or not very long by regular standards but every second felt like a lifetime as he waited for his phone to ring, as he waited for that so important phone call.

 It had been hours already…okay…it had only been an hour and a half, but still!

That was much too long to have him in such a state. He hadn’t taken a breath properly since he had watched him leave and was sure his headache was nearing migraine level, his patience at its limits and his ability to stay calm in the given situation was being severely tested.

Vaguely he knew it wasn’t life or death, but when you had to leave some you love, and have them tell you they were going to the hospital things always seemed a little more tense than they should have been.

He could still remember squeezing his fingers and asking him to let him come with him, the older man shaking his head in a final denial, Kyuhyun displeased as to be expected but not in a position to defy the older man without a sure fight and really…it was no time for a fight, especially with the fact that he was in essence sending him off to the hospital.

Why couldn’t he just let him come with him?

He wasn’t even much of a nuisance he didn’t think.  The others were a lot more clingy than he was as it was. They attached themselves so tightly that he had to force himself to even get close and he finally managed to get in close proximity after what felt like forever, he was told that he would have to leave his side and return to the dorms without him.

Watching Yesung leave for the hospital, was one of the most stressful things he had to endure that day.

The aches and pains in his muscles and the rigorous strains of the sometimes impossibly annoying dance routines and the continuous jumping around the stage that he had done during the day. Being told to let go of his hand, so that he could go to the hospital without him was hard, simply for the fact that it went against everything that was him.

How was he supposed to do that?

He didn’t want to leave him for a second, especially now that he finally had him to himself for a few minutes to check on him properly and kick him for being a stubborn fool and kiss away whatever of the pain that he could manage. He only managed to wrap his arms around him once, to feel his small hands pressed against his back one time, inhale his perfect scent for a few seconds before he was asked to let him leave his side for however long.

It had been a painfully long day Kyuhyun decided.

It started with a hectic concert and struggles to fit into his costumes and ended with a headache and a pained heart and mind. It was nothing short of hell and with Yesung’s enlistment in the air and his decided want to ignore all things connected to that event, he had been stressed throughout the morning. First concert jitters were annoying as hell, since so many things could go wrong and then he had a song in English to worry about.

Worrying about English lyrics and not messing up always took a toll on him.

 Backstage was crazy as to be expected, everyone having a million things to do, Donghae taking most of the stylist time to get those fake tattoos on, Yesung trying to get himself organized and dealing with his own emotions. He had tried to comfort him, but Yesung would insist that was fine and it was just a little overwhelming for him.

 Kyuhyun wanted to tell him that it was even more overwhelming for him but he supposed Yesung didn’t need to be burdened with his thoughts as well.

 He hated the thought of letting him go soon and wanted Yesung to promise not to say it, but he couldn’t force him to do it and it was not as Yesung had a choice. He would make him feel guilty for something that he couldn’t control. He therefore tried his best to be cheerful and add to the concert atmosphere rather than take away from it, immersing himself in all the craziness.

He was therefore rather caught up in their performance of Rockstar, a stage that was foreign to them and had never been attempted before. It was always weird when they performed songs live for the first time. It was even harder to perform Club No. 1, not something they had to do live before. It didn’t help he was awkward as hell with the relatively y dance moves required and midway he was panting from tiredness and not due to any excitement that may have come from the scantily clad dancers that they performed with as Kangin had been insisting to Yesung, perhaps trying to rile the older man up.

Kangin perhaps didn’t realize that Kyuhyun had done the same thing during rehearsals, loudly proclaiming how much fun he had grabbing the dancers thighs and all his inappropriate actions, hoping to make the older man’s blood boil and force him into a possessive display.

Kyuhyun really didn’t mind being slammed into a wall and shown who he belonged to, thoroughly and completely, the idea of Yesung roughly possessing him seemingly coming to him like some strange fantasy.

All he got for his posturing however was Yesung rolling his eyes at him and telling him not to hurt his back when he slid between her legs and also don’t look up…whether he wanted to or not. He may find himself in some hot water with their fans if they caught him. He was decidedly displeased.

Why didn’t the idiot ever get jealous?

Kyuhyun knew for a fact he would have combust if Yesung had to do things like that with those girls. Just the idea of them touching him, watching him, moving with him was enough for him to see red.

At the end he was the one that stalked Yesung into the one of the empty changing rooms at the arena and kissed him senseless, Yesung flustered and confused, especially when Kyuhyun just hugged him close and told him he was glad that he was old and had a bad back. Those were the reasons Yesung gave for insisting that he didn’t care to perform that song, especially when the others insisted that since his time was limited he should perform as much as possible.  Yesung was clear that he was in no shape to learn that choreography and it would be too stressful for him.

Kyuhyun wanted to rip Eunhyuk’s head off when he insisted that he could teach him. Didn’t any of those fools realize that watching Yesung do something like that would drive him insane? He much preferred Yesung rest backstage, away from roaming hands and over bounding . He was exceptionally thankful the older man had a bad back and was maybe just thankful that he was a clutz. Anything to keep him away from dangerous things like that or at least things that was dangerous for Kyuhyun’s sanity.

Yesung eventually figured out why Kyuhyun was so thankful for his aging, and laughed his head off, Kyuhyun glaring at him, but it was swiftly cleared away when Yesung kissed him sweetly and said Kyuhyun was hopeless. Kyuhyun would have protested but Yesung hugged him tightly and he didn’t ever have much of a backbone when things like that happened.

He wasn’t even able to complain when he told him to try and not embarrass himself with the dance, since he was already so awkward. He just hugged him closer and listened to his amused chuckles, savouring every second with him. Whether he admitted it or not, time was short and he wasn’t wasting a second of it. He was therefore not surprised that Yesung just chuckled when Kangin made his erroneous report, the older man’s eyes flashing in amusement when he told Kyuhyun that they should make him diet again. Kyuhyun did pull a face at that one, to which Yesung only laughed as to be expected.

Kyuhyun was therefore rather focused on their routine for Rockstar , every bone in his body feeling awkward at the strange movements. He had always been an awkward guy. It was built into his personality and formed part of his existence and perhaps maybe it was his charm. Yesung had said so once, but Kyuhyun was clinging to him and he was sleepily pressing kisses to Kyuhyun’s hair, one of their frequent quiet nights together where they would curl up in bed together after long days or short days and just hold on to each other, a mixture of teasing words and affection gestures.

Kyuhyun sometimes thought he would drown in those memories and now that was all he wanted to do.

 They didn’t have much moments for that to happen now, especially since Yesung was making ‘preparations’ as he so termed it. Kyuhyun was perhaps childish but he had ensured that he still got to spend at least two nights a week with him like that, having no shame when he threw the required tantrums now and then. He didn’t know what Yesung told his parents, probably that he was watching movies at the dorms, but on those nights he was Kyuhyun’s and Kyuhyun’s alone. He ensured that the older man was locked in his arms and in his scent in his nostrils.

They weren’t especially intimate nor did they do anything particularly active.

 Sometimes they would just tell each other about their day or the things they had seen. Sometimes Yesung would make him watch a movie with him, cashing in on that birthday gift he had given him, or sometimes Yesung would just hold his hand whilst he read his comics and planned designs or looked over figures for the café and the shop whilst Kyuhyun read scripts for Radio Star or played games. Yet it was time that he enjoyed immensely and ensured that he had. With the enlistment date unknown, Kyuhyun was intent on being a selfish brat. He didn’t care what Yesung said. He was going to hold him close and taste his sweet skin as much as possible and more importantly he was going to protect him for as long as possible.

It was therefore a stab to his heart and his pride when he failed to do so.

He was so caught up in trying not to be awkward and put on a good performance for their fans in their first concert of the tour, he failed to take care of the person he claimed to love. He had checked in with him a few times, eyes glancing in Yesung’s direction at different intervals, a habit he had developed a long time ago, during their previous concert tour and had stayed with him since them. He had seen him having a good time so he ignored it.

When he glanced at him and saw him on the floor, he was ashamed to say that his first instinct was to laugh.

In his mind, he just thought Yesung had tried a weird move and had fell for his troubles. The idiot was always clumsy and prone to fails. It was endearing generally. He was ready to just laugh at the older man’s antics and later about his constant fails. He did not think he was hurt badly. When he realized that Yesung had not gotten up though, he was a little more concerned, trying to get to him to ensure that he was okay. He really thought that it was just old age and embarrassment that was keeping rooted to the ground, Ryeowook at his side as well. 

He and Siwon, really..why?...but yeah…He and Siwon had made their way over and looked him over.

Kyuhyun could kick himself now for not paying more attention to Yesung. When he asked if he was okay, Yesung had said yes. It did not register to him that Yesung had bitten out the words and was just referring to his default response. The music was still playing and he was flustered, mind worrying about the performance and the fact that so many of them were so still. He really thought that Yesung was okay when he helped him up, missing the grimace the older man had on his face.

Kyuhyun’s eyes were trained on the crowd, trying to reassure them that Yesung was okay and not actually paying attention to the man himself. He saw him stay with Ryeowook, but he knew they were supposed to be on the other side of the stage, continuing with the performance. He was worried about the performance and a lot more concerned with getting it right. He figured that Ryeowook just wanted to make sure that Yesung was alright.

Ryeowook had always been exceedingly protective of the older man and tended to coddle whenever he thought Yesung was hurt or upset. Kyuhyun for his part was not upset or ashamed. He knew that sometimes he was not the one that was appropriate to take care of Yesung.

 He loved the ground the man walked on but he also knew his limits.

He tried his hardest to take care of Yesung, to do right by the older man and protect him, to be someone that he could reply on and trust wholeheartedly but he also knew that Ryeowook was much better at gauging injuries and healing wounds than he was. He trusted his friend and his brother to take care of the man they both loved and would do anything to protect. Sometimes he wished he was better at things like that but then Yesung always said that he wanted him exactly as he was and he thought that had to mean something. Yesung would be okay under Ryeowook’s care for sure, and he would be near as well.

When he saw Yesung resuming the choreography, he thought he was better, so carried on.

When Siwon frantically whispered to him that Yesung had left the stage he had begun to worry a little, but truly thought that Yesung just wanted to catch his breath for a few minutes. The spill didn’t seem particularly bad but Yesung may have needed just a breather to find his bearings and continue with the dance routine. He didn’t fall and he felt a little light headed as it was. He was sure Yesung would just take a drink and maybe change his shoes and come back, positive that he would be alright.

When the next song hit, after an extended wait period and Yesung not returned then he started to worry significantly. Yesung was not one that missed performances when he could help it. Kyuhyun spent some time glancing at the various members trying to figure out if anyone knew anything, just being told that Yesung was resting backstage.

By the time, he finally had a chance to see him, it was clear that Yesung was hurt a lot more than he had anticipated.

Yesung’s eyes red and looking upset, standing gingerly on his feet, making it clear that all was not right. Kyuhyun only then feeling a little panicked. Yesung didn’t look so good and grimaced with every step, face withdrawn and clearly unhappy. Kyuhyun didn’t know what to do. Donghae and Ryeowook were crowding around him and Yesung was insisting that it would be okay, just that his chest hurt something terribly and his legs felt even worst. Kyuhyun was in the midst of being styled for the ballad portion of the concert but couldn’t pull his eyes away from him. Yesung only smiling at him sadly in response to his unasked questioned.

He hated himself for dismissing Yesung’s injuries earlier, wishing he had done something to protect him, to stop it from happening. Yesung was already very emotional with the concert being is last one in Korea before his enlistment and Kyuhyun knew he wanted everything to be perfect. It would hurt him if things weren’t. Kyuhyun felt helpless as he watched the others comfort Yesung, not even knowing what he was supposed to say to make it better, each pained expression like a stab to his stomach. He only managed to speak to him as the made their way for the KRY stage, Yesung brushing his fingers against his and insisting that he would be fine, that he was just a little groggy from the fall.

Kyuhyun was desperate to trust his words, sitting there listening to his voice and wondering how one person can sound so heavenly even whilst biting back the pain. Kyuhyun’s heart hurt when there was nothing he could do for him, waiting for the others to join them for the ballad medley. Kyuhyun wished he could tell him to go backstage and rest but he also knew it was impossible for them to sing those songs without him. He was grateful for the production staff for ensuring that Yesung was at least kept seated. Kyuhyun didn’t want to think about how much pain those high notes would have caused his chest either.

Kyuhyun only had a few minutes to see him backstage, Yesung still insisting on coming out to perform.

Kyuhyun was positive he would rip his head off for it but Yesung would only look at him with those sad eyes and he was hopeless. He knew what those stages meant to Yesung and he couldn’t take it away from him, no matter how much he wanted to. He wanted to just steal him away and take care of him but insist his temper flared and he glared at the bastard’s stubbornness.

He could barely walk and he still insisted on coming out for their cosplay. Kyuhyun was intent on doing a good job for both their sakes, thrilled to say he was pleased when Yesung retreated backstage soon thereafter, but it was also a reminder that Yesung was very hurt and unable to participate. He was sad that Yesung still had to sing from backstage but at least he told himself it meant that he was not on stage trying to work around with that foot of his in such a condition.  He could be grateful for small mercies.

He was a little annoyed that Yesung insisted on coming out for Marry You but he supposed that if it was any stage that the older man would feel compelled to come out for it would be that one. It was something that was sentimental to them all, especially after the first Super Show. It broke his heart to see him limp around the stage and it was even more painful that he couldn’t be at his side then. He wanted to, but he knew Ryeowook would be better at comforting him then he could. He couldn’t coddle him the same way Ryeowook could but when he saw those tears he was desperate to cheer him up.

Yesung never cries.

 It was not in his nature to do so, but Kyuhyun guessed with the circumstances as they were, the emotions were just too volatile to stop the onslaught of tears. Even he felt saddened by everything. Yesung worked too hard and would miss the stage too much for that to happen to him, for him to be so deprived of that moment of glory. He couldn’t help but admire the determination of the older man to be where he belonged, to show their fans his love and appreciation. Kyuhyun himself felt weak and unworthy in his presence. Ryeowook was better than he was in that moment.

 He couldn’t see the tears and not react though, teasing the older man to get him to smile. He never dealt well with crying people and didn’t know what to do. He therefore did the only thing he seemed to know how to do, and that was to tease and hug him. Yesung was rather depressed and he wished to hold on to him for a long time, but the others were just as desperate as he was to help their hyung and for the first time in a long time he was able to cease his selfish thoughts.

Even Siwon’s hugs and soothing words didn’t bother him.

He was glad Yesung was being showered with love. He wanted him to know that he was adorned by everyone that he had ever met, that he was cherished by his dongsaengs and revered by their fans. It wasn’t a time to be selfish. Yesung needed their support and he needed Yesung to be okay. That was as simple as it got to him. He could live with anything, once Yesung was alright. Kangin hugged him tight and he kept a close eye on him. Yesung’s eyes were already puffy and he hated it but he also knew Yesung needed to get it out of his heart and out of his mind.

He hated when Yesung kept the pain in his heart.

If he could express it for their fans then Kyuhyun was happy at least for that. It was hard to accept that he couldn’t understand what Yesung was feeling. He still a good few years until he had to enlist and had to leave the stage that they both lived and died on. Kangin knew what he felt though and for the first time Kyuhyun was jealous of his hyung. He wanted to be someone that could understand Yesung’s heart that way, but he knew in that moment that he couldn’t.

It wasn’t something he would appreciate until he felt it.

It was hard to let others do what he felt was his job but Yesung always came first with him. He did however ensure he stayed at his side at the earliest chance that he got, Yesung smiling at him in that way that made Kyuhyun’s heart tug and sink all at the same time, voice low and husky as he insisted that he was fine and they were being dramatic and tug on Kyuhyun’s jacket and menacingly told him to sing his parts properly in Sorry Sorry or he would kick him in the head. Kyuhyun couldn’t help laugh at that, wanting very much to make them both proud, promising that he would do it so well that he would overshadow Yesung and make the lines his. Yesung only laughed and told him to try his best…and Yesung said he was the arrogant one.

By the end of it and by the time Yesung had made his way to the stage for the encore stage, limping leg and warm smiles, Kyuhyun was no longer mad at him, just feeling a warmth in his chest at the true brilliance of the man before him. Yesung was so strong willed and determined that Kyuhyun’s admiration could only grow for him. He looked at him as if he were in awe and perhaps he was. Tired and in awe, was how he spend the final moments of their concert, when he was not teasing Yesung.

The man would fall into those lapses of sadness that he couldn’t stand, Kyuhyun insisting that he was forced to because of them. He couldn’t be sweet and caring in that way, but he was sure he could get Yesung to smile when no one else could. He could get him to roll his eyes at him and call him a brat and smile in that way of his. He was positive he was successful when Yesung laughed at his demonstration of his fall and poked fun at his small hands, sad that those precious little fingers were hurt. He left Ryeowook to cheer him up on stage and left him to have his moment on stage for the last time. He knew he needed that, just as Kyuhyun needed him in his arms the second they were backstage and the concert was over.

It was chaos as to be expected, stylist and production staff running around the place, their brothers exhausted and flustered, Yesung tired and hurt. Kyuhyun carefully laced their fingers and led Yesung to one of the less populated change rooms, lifting the small bandaged fingers and inspecting them, wondering how he could hurt his fingers as well, Yesung smiling sheepishly as he looked at him, Kyuhyun pressing soft soothing kisses to them, causing Yesung to laugh heartily at his cheesiness.

It would have been fine, but then Yesung coughed and he groaned when his chest constricted, Kyuhyun panicking, Yesung only wrapping his arms around Kyuhyun’s waist and resting his head on his chest. With eyes closed and a wrinkled nose when he informed Kyuhyun that he smelt awful and was sweaty, he snuggled closer, Kyuhyun afraid to touch him, least he hurt him in any way, Yesung didn’t seem to mind, only telling Kyuhyun that he had to go to the hospital to get checked out and he expected Kyuhyun to return to the dorms and get some rest.

Kyuhyun offered repeatedly to go with him but the idiot insisted that Kyuhyun was tired and needed the sleep. Kyuhyun watched as the others fussed over him and pampered him and sighed in resignation, though he was willing to admit that he grinned like when Siwon was told the same thing that he was, walking with him to the last point he allowed, bandaged fingers brushing Kyuhyun’s cheeks when he asked him not to worry and promised to call him later, Kyuhyun forced to only watch as he limped away.

It was an awful feeling but realistically there was nothing Kyuhyun could do. If Yesung did not want him at the hospital, he had no choice therefore but to listen to him. He couldn’t have Yesung mad at him on top of all his sadness. He knew that Yesung would feel better eventually, that the emotions had to occur, that the older man was experiencing a natural loss and filled with true gratitude.

Kyuhyun knew there was nothing he could do to stop that pain, which made him hate everything about it. He could have stopped the physical pain if he paid more attention to him or if he had smacked him hard after his last spill on stage, so that he would be more careful. He was rather intent to tear into him the next time he wasn’t grimacing so much. He would kill him for being such so goddamned clumsy all the time.

 He hated everything about that fact, positive that Yesung would be the cause of his ulcers.

He didn’t worry about the never ending schedules or the constant strain on his body as much as he worried about his stubborn clumsy beloved. Yesung would send him to an early grave he was sure. Even then with  his head pounding and his limbs aching, he couldn’t find sleep.

He was much too worried about Yesung and he knew for a fact that Yesung’s hospital visit would have been over already, so the idiot was just leaving him there to suffer. He was so annoyed and worried and frustrated that he could throw his phone at the wall and watch it shatter. That would be irrational however and he was always a rational person, contrary to what Yesung seemed to want to do to him, the insane idiot.

He glanced at the phone once more, his eyes blurry as his head throbbed, head slamming back against the wall as he closed his eyes, taking a few deep breathes, reminding himself that Yesung was not dying and would be okay. It was just some small injuries. They would give him some painkillers and he would be okay. He only needed Yesung to tell him that now.

He is rather ashamed to admit that he actually flinched when his phone rang, throwing the device that he was holding onto as if it were his lifeline, praying that it was who he had been expecting.

It wasn’t.

Changmin had called to congratulate him on the concert and apologize for not being there. He was rather excited for them and proud of Super Junior but Kyuhyun was sorry to say that he didn’t give his friend the time of day. He was blatantly short with him and perhaps a little rude, wanting the line cleared as soon as possible.

In a bit of guilt he supposed, he only uttered Yesung’s name when Changmin asked what was wrong with him.

Changmin figured it out from there, surprisingly not teasing as Kyuhyun expected, only asking if the older man was okay. Kyuhyun only stated that he fell and hurt himself and was very disappointed about how things turned out. Changmin gathered the rest that was unsaid, asking Kyuhyun to tell Yesung he asked after him and for Kyuhyun to get some rest and stop worrying, since clearly Yesung was alright and he was just stressing himself out for nothing. Changmin promised to check in with him later and ended the call with a promise to give him hell when they were sure Yesung was much better.

Kyuhyun glared at the phone but was still glad for Changmin’s words.

He haven’t ever admitted the relationship he and Yesung shared to anyone, not even Changmin, but he knew that Changmin knew about it. He probably shouldn’t have said anything but he supposed he just wanted to hear someone say he was overreacting. He didn’t want to go wake the other sleeping members, who were just as tired as he was and they even had a schedule in China soon after. They needed the rest and he needed to be told he was being ridiculous. Changmin was the best one for the task, though now he supposed he opened himself up to significant teasing later.

When the phone rang the second time, he was much less enthusiastic, figuring it was just another friend wanting to congratulate him. He would be grateful for their sentiments as to be expected but he really just wanted to hear Yesung’s voice. It was therefore the reason he was thrilled when he answered on the phone on the fourth ring, dragging the contraption to his ear sleepily.

“Go to sleep brat. I'm fine” Yesung’s voice floated through the receiver.

 Kyuhyun hearing the tiredness and the strain but he heard the gentle affection when he said the word brat as well, Yesung’s seemingly appropriate endearment for him he seems to think. He is exceedingly grateful for the tone as it seemed to ease his heart a little, though the worry still seemed to be locked into his core.

“Are you sure? What did the doctor say?” Kyuhyun still questioned, ignoring the instruction that was posed to him.

He couldn’t sleep until he was sure Yesung was fine and even then he didn’t think it would come to him that easily. Yesung had to be in his arms for that to happen and he still would have probably just watched him sleep rather than get any rest himself. He had to be sure that Yesung was not just saying that he was okay to appease Kyuhyun as he so often did in the course of their relationship.

He supposed Yesung could just lie to him, but the idiot was never a good liar and Kyuhyun had a good sense when it came to reading Yesung that made it hard for the older man to ever deceive him. Right then he was rather interested in what the doctors said. He was aware that it was a mild injury but he still needed to make the appropriate inquiries, if nothing else, to ease his own heart and mind.

“It’s nothing serious. I bruised my shins and my chest. He said it will be sore for a couple of days but they gave me painkillers. My finger hurts though” Yesung whine the last part and Kyuhyun just knew he was pouting at his tiny little cutely bandaged fingers.

For some reason that was the injury that upset him the most, Kyuhyun so tempted to laugh as he complained about his fingers. He wasn’t pleased to hear about the soreness or the fact that he had bruising about the body, but at least he was given something for the pain. Now that he knew that he was, he would most certainly make it his business to ensure that the medication was taken as often as it was prescribed and he would set Ryeowook on his case for sure. There was no way he would get away without taking it easy.

 Kyuhyun often lost his patience with Yesung’s numerous clingy dongsaengs, but he was always grateful that it ensured that Yesung was well taken care of at all times. As much as Siwon grated on his nerves, he was always pleased that Siwon was nearly rigid when it came to Yesung’s health and general wellbeing.

Even when he disliked the older man for his inexplicable need to forever touch his Yesung hyung, he always respected his dedication when it came to safeguarding what was important to him, including Yesung. He was positive Yesung would be asked if he was alright a million times the following day and forced to swallow those painkillers whether he wanted to or not. The finger injury, Kyuhyun would take care of.

“If you came to the dorms like I told you to, then I would have made it all better for you” Kyuhyun suggested with enough sweetness in his voice that Yesung knew without a doubt what he was referring to.

Kyuhyun was sure he could kiss it all better for him, as ridiculous as that seemed to sound.

It was deadly cheesy and more than likely ineffective but he was sure he would enjoy doing it quite a lot and it helped keep his mind from the fact that he was forced to wait for Yesung like an idiot to call him when the man could just be smothered in his arms and hold him close, get lost in his sweet scent and let Yesung’s warmth wash away his aches and pains and ease his mind. It didn’t happen that way though, instead left to hold his phone like a freaking lifeline and hang on every word.

“You are so cheesy” Yesung giggled into the phone, back pressed on his mattress, lights off, waiting for sleep to claim him after a day from hell.

He just wanted to forget it all and remember every second of it in equal parts.

He did however found great comfort in the sweetness of his young beloved. Kyuhyun was a teasing brat but he knew he loved him a lot, and he loved the snarky demon just as much, even when he was being so damn cheesy. He was sorry he couldn’t be a better person for him.

“Besides, I couldn’t leave my mom. She was very worried about me” Yesung explained into the phone, making his reasons for dismissing Kyuhyun’s instructions to return to the dorm after he left the hospital.

Kyuhyun had insisted that if he couldn’t come with him then he should come to the dorms after, but he had declined. He hoped Kyuhyun understood. His mother was really worried about him and her eyes were even puffier than his. There was no way he could leave her in that moment. She had stayed even closer to him as a result.

His mother had actually tucked him in and insisted that he slept, not having granted him a second by himself since he had left the hospital. She had even tried to feed him after his father’s touch made him yelp. She was exceedingly overbearing and he loved her endlessly for it. No one loved him as much as she did, save and except Kyuhyun perhaps, and he was especially grateful for her care.

He didn’t know what he would do without her really.

He supposed that was why he was always so afraid now, afraid about what he would do when she told her about Kyuhyun, if he ever had the strength to say it to her. He had to find it though. He couldn’t live without her and he knew he couldn’t live without Kyuhyun either. It was always a hard place to be in. He rather not think of that sorry state of things though, much too tired and emotional to add to the pain. He was only sorry that her hovering meant that he didn’t have the opportunity to call Kyuhyun at all during that time.

He supposed he could have made a cursory call but he didn’t want to do that to Kyuhyun. He knew the younger deserved a proper phone call and a heartfelt thank you for staying at his side throughout the day. Even though he was bombarded with sweet words from everyone and in every direction, he was still grateful for Kyuhyun’s soft eyes and his patience. He knew the day would have been hard on Kyuhyun as well but the younger man took it all very well. He was grateful for his silent care and his teasing words and the soft kiss to his finger. Whilst the pain didn’t go away really, the thought and the accompanying memories gave him sweet flutters in his belly.

Kyuhyun however had to withhold the rather bitter words that were at the tip of his tongue, eating his insides and clawing at him. He had to go home because his mother was worried about him.

 So….Kyuhyun’s worry meant nothing?

His aches and pains and stress and sleeplessness meant nothing to him? He was so mad at Yesung and even more pissed at his own self. He was being selfish and unfair. He knew he was. He shouldn’t even want to ask Yesung to do something like that, but the feeling was there and it was bitter and painful.

He always felt as if Yesung would abandon him if he was asked to by his mother.

It was something that hunted his nightmares and plagued his thoughts on those days he spent drinking heavily. It was a weight on his chest that suffocated him. It was hard to get rid of it. Yesung loved his mother more than anything else and with good reason. The mother that had nurtured him and protected him , long before Kyuhyun was ever involved.

She was a brilliant person and Kyuhyun admired her for various reasons, but he couldn’t help think that she would be the one person that could really and truly steal Yesung away from him. He supposed that was why he was so quick to anger when Yesung had instantly thought about her and not him and mad at himself for even feeling that way to begin with. He should never make it difficult for Yesung but it hurt a little.

“Oh okay” Kyuhyun responded to kill the silence developing, the awkwardness clearly sitting between.

 Kyuhyun wished he was less obvious and he wished that Yesung would just know he had to reassure him but the idiot was often oblivious with things like that. He had nothing else he could say on the matter and just wanted the feeling to go away. He was working hard to forget about it all, wanting to only focus on Yesung.

“I scraped my knees as well…were you going to kiss those better too?” Yesung asked, somewhat randomly, the words tainted with humour and a teasing laugh, internally panicking.

He knew he had said something wrong earlier and truly didn’t know what to do to fix it. He had heard something in Kyuhyun’s voice that he didn’t like and was instantly desperate to change the topic into something less awkward. He supposed Kyuhyun was maybe upset that he didn’t come to see him and he felt a measure of guilt.

He knew what it was like to worry and feel sick with that need to see for yourself that the person you loved was alright. He had experienced it enough time with Kyuhyun to know that it was painful and even more stressful, and was instantly apologetic to Kyuhyun. There was nothing he could do however but try and change the topic and tease the younger man a little.

“Seems like you want me to Hyung” Kyuhyun teased in response, smiling despite himself, grateful that Yesung had taken the initiative to ease the tension that was forming.

He knew he was overreacting but feelings were just something that defied logic.

He was a little hurt but sensible enough to know that he shouldn’t hold it against Yesung. It was a tough position to be in and as it were, he also cause Yesung a fair share of hurt feelings as well. At least Yesung was trying to make him feel better and he could appreciate the effort and the awful joke…though, if Yesung wanted he didn’t think he would mind kissing his scraped knee better or any other part of him for that matter.

“Maybe you want me to kiss away the pain on your chest as well….seems you are a little sly” Kyuhyun continued to tease, face twisting into a smirk as Yesung coughed into the phone, twisting the man’s words and intentions into suggestive innuendo that made the older man choke on air, Kyuhyun chuckling at the sound of it all.

He supposed he shouldn’t tease but maybe it was the perfect revenge for his hurt feelings.

When he played with Yesung he always felt better and now his chest was filled with the flutters of his amusement and the images of a red Yesung gasping for breath. He rather think of it all like that than focus on the bad things.  And to be truthful he was rather taken with the idea of kissing it all better for him, infinitely aware that Yesung had the most tempting line of skin along his chest and stomach, soft ridges of abs that suited him well and tempted Kyuhyun even more, the reason he was always trying to slip his fingers past Yesung’s t-shirts, enjoying the feel of the smooth skin against his finger tips, having rather enjoyed his rare opportunities to taste the skin in that area. He honestly wouldn’t have minded kissing it all away but in essence he was just teasing, enjoying the indignant stuttering.

“I said no such thing!...You brat!” Yesung protested vehemently, face a burning red and his heart thumping erratically in his chest, the words spoken a breathy denial that made Kyuhyun laugh out loud at his indignation.

 Yesung wanted to make it quite clear that he had no such intention at any point in time.

Kyuhyun was twisting his words. Why was it that he could never win with the brat? Just the very idea of Kyuhyun doing that made him blush burgundy, his hand rubbing at the lightly bandaged skin at his chest, feeling a light electricity resonating, pulling his fingers away in a rush, feeling even more shy and Kyuhyun, that bastard, won’t stop laughing at him. He was so mad and shy and his face was so damn hot! Lips naturally formed into a pout.

“You’re pouting aren’t you?” Kyuhyun continued to tease, pulling himself up the bed as he chuckled at the image in his mind, sure that Yesung was blushing and stuttering and pouting and just sorry he wasn’t there to kiss those adorable pouty lips, smiling at the warmth in his heart, pulling himself to lie flat on his mattress, cold sheets that could have benefited from the warmth of anyone body, but Kyuhyun knew he had to endure, his back grateful for the softness to rest against, his head pleased to be against his soft pillow, chuckling still at Yesung.

“Whatever” Yesung dismissed, deliberately pulling his face from the pout, only for it to revert to it the second he stopped forcibly controlling the muscles on his face, twisting his face in displeasure and scoffing as Kyuhyun just continued to laugh at him.

“I shouldn’t have called you. You’re mean” Yesung complained rather cutely in Kyuhyun’s opinion, his voice low and whiny, the sort that he would mock him for later, Kyuhyun laughing at the sigh that Yesung released, wanting desperately to be there with him and gaze upon his frustrated face and back into his arms and kiss those adorable bruised fingers, the laughter dying as the longing grew stronger, closing his eyes as he sighed.

“Didn’t you know that already?” Kyuhyun commented easily, smiling bitterly as he kept the banter up, happy to hear Yesung’s voice in his ear, tiredness hurting his body, the worry over Yesung at least subsiding a little the more the older man bantered with him. He was lucky to have Yesung.

“ I did” spoken  fondly, rather than with the bite that Kyuhyun expected, clear to him that the mood was changing, his eyes going wide as he waited for Yesung to continue, aware that he would after he heard the resolved sigh uttered by the older man.

“Thanks for being there with me today Kyuhyun ah” Yesung said seriously, twisting on his bed, the pull of his chest a dull ache, cradling the phone against his ear, the other hand wrapped around his purple plushie, a poor substitute for the apple scented body of the person he loved, but it was all he had, grateful for Kyuhyun’s voice on the other end of the call and even more thankful for his presence in his life.

It was a stressful painful day for him, both literally and figuratively and he was exceedingly grateful towards all his band mates for their support. Ryeowook had made it easier for him and Kangin and Siwon and just everyone helped him heal his troubled heart. He was grateful to each and every one of them, and especially his little brat that made the day bearable for him.

He knew it would have been a bad day for Kyuhyun as well.

The younger man hated when he talked about the army, but he had endured and stayed strong and by doing so he helped him be strong. He was thankful for the affectionate gazes and the soft words, the nervous hands. He was thankful for the strength that Kyuhyun’s presence gave him, a silent pillar that he knew he could always rely on. He never had a good time with expressing emotions like that but he tried it for Kyuhyun’s sake. The younger had to know that he relied on him for strength and he was grateful towards him.

“Ryeowookie did more than I did” Kyuhyun protested mildly, dismissing the thanks, but couldn’t get rid of the mild redness on his cheeks and the stirrings in his heart and the bubbles in his stomach.

It was strange hearing things like that, especially when he didn’t think he deserved to be thanked. He was awful at comforting people, even worse at comforting Yesung. The older man made his heart ache at the mere sight of him. He never could handle Yesung’s tears. It was too hard to watch and the feeling of helplessness ripped at his insides, aware that he was not the one that offered Yesung the comfort that he needed, but still selfishly happy at the words and the emotion expressed to him, even if he didn’t think he deserved it.

“Thank you for being yourself, Brat” Yesung reiterated in a manner that Kyuhyun could perhaps understand better, voice less solemn and more light but the emotion remained the same.

He knew Kyuhyun wasn’t good with tears and had a hard time overcoming his natural awkwardness to comfort anyone. He knew Kyuhyun would have a hard time with certain things and in a way was grateful for Kyuhyun’s brand of affection. His perfectly timed distractions and teasing words reminded him that it was not as awful as it seemed and he had Kyuhyun beside him no matter what happen. It was a different feeling compared to everyone else and he was thankful to Kyuhyun for being his brat. He felt his affection grow anymore and didn’t care to fight it, wanting to love Kyuhyun more each day, yawning a lightly.

“Do don’t have to thank me for things like that but you do have to go to sleep” Kyuhyun instructed, suddenly feeling like a parent, wondering if that was how Yesung felt when he had to force him to sleep ever so often.

He did however mean it. Yesung’s yawn reminded him that the older man had a long stressful day and he needed to rest as much as possible. It also didn’t help that Yesung would have to come and do it all over again in just a few hours, injuries and all. Kyuhyun didn’t like the thought of that at all, almost as much as he hated the idea of Yesung thinking he had to thank him for something that was his duty to do, and he had not even done a good job.

Yesung always just loved him too much, but didn’t think he would ever have reason to complain over something like that. With Kyuhyun positive that Yesung would be insistent on performing anyway, even if he managed to get him exempted from some performances or dance routines, he knew that Yesung would insist on performing anyway, so his best bet was to ask him to get some rest. He didn’t seem likely to complain, yawning a couples times in the time Kyuhyun spoke.

“I will but you have to do the same. Get some rest Kyu ah. Today was hard on you too. Don’t worry about me either. Just get some sleep” Yesung encouraged, twisting to make himself comfortable, wanting to speak to Kyuhyun but truthfully he was tired.

His head hurt and the rest of his body felt sore, despite the painkillers. Even his fingers hurt from holding the phone so long. He wanted to speak to Kyuhyun more but figured they both really needed the sleep and he would just see him in the morning anyway, so was willing to turn in, once Kyuhyun did the same, his eyelids heavy now that he entertained the idea of sleep.

“I will Hyung. Take it ease and don’t be stubborn. Do whatever the doctor told you to do. I will see you tomorrow” Kyuhyun informed, setting aside all the formalities and the reassurances that were required.

His body tired and finally able to ease himself onto his bed, pulling back his covers to slide in, aware that Yesung got mad when he slept in a way that would allow him to catch colds, settling into his head, ready to sleep now that his mind was at ease. He was still worried about Yesung as to be expected but now that he spoke to him, he was assured that Yesung was alright and was only then that he could entertain the thought of sleep, something that he thought he loved more than anything. It seems that some things were a lot more valuable, eyes fluttering as he waited for the response.

“See you then. Good night BabyKyu” the words cooed at Kyuhyun in a cute sleepy voice, making the younger man chuckle a little bit, humming his response as Yesung hung up, saying one last time that he shouldn’t worry.

Kyuhyun didn’t seem to understand why Yesung thought it was even possible for him to not worry about him, but atleast he could ease his heart a little, mumbling ‘Good night’ as Yesung hung up, finally releasing the phone that he had been gripping on so tightly before, disconnecting and setting it aside, snuggling into the comforter, missing the smell of coffee and cinnamon, but instead of sulking, closing his eyes and saying a little pray, asking the heavens above to protect Yesung and make it easier for him, to help with his sorrows and to give Kyuhyun the strength to be a pillar for the said man, a soft whispered amen, a final thought to Yesung’s wellbeing and the promise to remember to ensure he took all his tablets the following day, Kyuhyun let the darkness claim him, falling into a dreamless deep slumber, the hope to see Yesung then the last thought in his mind right then.

A/N :This was written on the day of that incident, in March 2013. Some of you might remember it. We have been getting a lot of Kyusung moments recently. Its nice. Makes me want to return to this continuum. We will see I guess.