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The group was practicing hard for their next comeback, going over every step and move to the new dance they were learning. After a couple hours of going hard in their practice they decided to take a break to rest up before going back at it. During their break, five of the members decided to leave the room to use the bathroom and such, leaving the two eldest of the group alone in the practice room. It was just the two boyfriends resting up now.
After noticing how Hoseok's attitude imensely affected the team's rhythm, Hyunwoo decided to finally confront him about his behavior. As Hoseok was drinking water, Hyunwoo came up to him, "Hoseok, we need to talk about something..."
Hoseok rose a brow and nodded, waiting for him to continue, "I'm tired of how you've been acting lately. I know you're better than this, Hoseok. Why are you doing this?"
Hoseok looked to his boyfriend and leader of the group, expecting just more discussion about the dances and choreo for their comeback but not this. He put his water bottle down and looked up to him, rolling his eyes a bit as he let out a small scoff, "you really don't know, do you, Hyunwoo?" Maybe this was the time he could finally let out all he was feeling ever since they debuted. His jealousy, anger, and sadness that was bottled up for so long.
Hyunwoo only looked confused at his words and scoffed, "if there's something I should know, it better be important, Hoseok."
Hoseok let out spiteful laugh before he started going off at his lover, "do you remember how excited I was to debut with you guys? How happy I was that I was going to be the leader of our group? But that slipped right through my fingers because I'm just too damn emotional. The day before we debuted they offered you the spot and you took it with no hesitation when you knew how much being the leader meant to me!" He was starting to tear up as he yelled at the other, though he felt some relief from finally getting it out, "I wanted to be happy for you, I really did but do you know how hard that was for me?!" He wanted to let it on him lightly but it was just finally all coming out.
Hyunwoo clicked his tongue and eyed Hoseok, "just how selfish and idiotic can you be Hoseok?" He kept sighing and rolling his eyes before talking. "You and I are practically the leaders of this group and you basically have the role as a leader already. Does your desperate little self really need the title to feel better? " He couldn't believe this was the reason why Hoseok was acting the way he was for the past few months. What more can Monsta X give to Hoseok to make him fully content?
Hyunwoo then laughed to himself, "and you wonder why they gave the role as the leader to me. I KNOW HOW TO CONTROL MYSELF UNLIKE YOU! I'M NOT SELFISH EITHER"
Hoseok honestly felt hurt. The tears that welled up in his eyes finally spilling from his eyes as he flinched slightly from the other's words. He felt speechless and not knowing what to say back to him. The emotions in him now were unable to be shown through words more so through the loud echo of his hand coming in contact with the taller male's face. His voice was broken when he said he last few words before he stormed out of the practice room, "then I'm guessing you wouldn't want some uncontrollable brat as your boyfriend either.."
The slap to his face had him silenced right away, his hand reaching up to touch the now hot skin of his face. It took him a moment to process his boyfriend's response before it hit him, "...you're kidding right...?" His expression changed from anger to a more regretful one, "right...?"
Hoseok stopped right at the doorway, barely turning to look at him, his heart heavy as he shrugged a bit, "that's what I'm hearing from you.. I'm too much of a perfectionist to be satisfied. I'm too selfish and idiotic, just like you said.. " he spoke lowly before he finally left the room to find somewhere for him to sulk, quickly running by the 5 members who left the room before their fight. He kept his head low so the other's wouldn't see his tears. The members just shrugged him off since it just seemed like he needed to just really go to the bathroom.
Hyunwoo immediately regretted what he said. After realizing all the things he mindlessly yelled out, he forgot how easily Hoseok can be triggered into these type of things. Especially having pointed out the insecurities Hoseok had in the back of his head. He began to panic. The 5 members finally came back from the break, clueless of the incident.
Minhyuk cheered, "Alright everyone, let's all do our best again!-" He panned over to Hyunwoo, immediately changing the tone of his voice. "Hyung? Are you okay? Where's Hoseok hyung?" Hyunwoo's whole-being was not the same. He didn't know what he was saying and/or how he felt. All that took over his body was pure panic and anxiety. Hyungwon put his hand on Hyunwoo's shoulder, "Hyunwoo hyung?" Hyunwoo immediately took off the male's arm away from his shoulder. He muttered to himself, "I ed up.... I have to fix this.." repetitively. The other members were confused but silent. He got up and quickly ran out of the room to find Hoseok. This was never his intent. All he wanted was to make Hoseok feel more flexible and confident while working with the group. Never did he want this to become an outcome. If anything, this was the last thing Hyunwoo had in mind.
Hoseok had found an empty room that seemed to be left untouched for so long, it was the best place for him to just let it out. He walked inside the dark room and closed the door behind him, forgetting to lock it. He sat down against the wall and pulled his knees up to his chest, burying his face into his arms as he just sobbed. To him, all those things Hyunwoo said about him was right. He was just dragging the team down because of his own selfish reasons.
Hyunwoo never felt so much guilt and internal pain before. All he wanted right now was to apologize to Hoseok. As he searched for Hoseok, he stumbled upon a closed room, faint noises of sobbing was heard from the other side of it and without any hesitation, Hyunwoo opened it. There, in front of him was a sobbing Hoseok, not even flinching after Hyunwoo opened the door so loudly. All he heard Hoseok saying was that it was his fault and that Hyunwoo was right about everything he said. He did this to his boyfriend and he felt so terrible andd guilty. This was a whole new pain that beat any phyiscal injuries he's experienced in the past.
Hoseok only curled up close to himself, his words muffled as he only cried into his arms. He hadn't noticed the other come in as he was just too hurt to focus on anything else but his boyfriend's words continuously ringing in his ears. Selfish. Idiotic. Desperate.
Hyunwoo couldn't stand the fact that he made Hoseok break like this. He slowly walked up to him and kneeled in front of Hoseok. The guilt that weighed heavily on him made tears well up in his eyes, "Hoseok..." He reached in to lift his head up and cup his face into his hands. A broken couple they were. Inflicted by their own problems that they've never noticed could easily trigger one another. He sniffled and wiped his tears, taking a breath, he slowly put his arms around Hoseok.
He looked up when he felt the other's presence. He was still crying. He didn't know if he should be mad at Hyunwoo or not. All he could do was cling onto him and sob into his shirt. It hurt seeing Hyunwoo break down in such way as Hoseok knew Hyunwoo wasn't easy to show emotion to anyone. Hoseok mumbled small apologies as he let out what tears he had left, "I'm so sorry... You were right, Hyunwoo.."
Hyunwoo hesitated, "No, there's no need to apologize, this was all caused by my ignorance, I'm.. I'm sorry..." He held Hoseok close too him. Despite the argument they had, the only remedy they needed was each other.
Hoseok nuzzled his face close into his chest, his heavy breathing slowly calming down to an even pace. He realized at this time that he just needed Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo was the one to keep him up and strong. He was his rock. The one that made him content and sane despite the past few months of himself not listening and doing his own thing. He wouldn't be able to manage without Hyunwoo.
He backed up and put his hands around Hoseok's head, his eyes taking in every feature of his face. Despite Hoseok crying for so long, his face was absolutely breathe taking. He took a small breath before he started speaking again, "we need to start opening up to each other more.. I don't want this to happen ever again." He raised his left hand and fisted his chest, "I've never felt so much pain before, Hoseok. I don't want you or I to feel this way again." He gulped and kept his eyes connected to his lover's own, "let's forget about what happened.. We should work together as leaders of our group." He faintly smiled, "Right?"
Hoseok sniffled a bit and looked up at him, wiping his own tears off of his face. He stared at the elder's features before he reached up to wipe his off his cheeks. Hoseok only nodded in agreement at his words. He sniffled away what tears were still threatening to fall from his eyes, "I'm still really sorry.. I should've told you how i felt sooner.."
Hyunwoo frowned a bit and shook his head, "there's no need to apologize, baby.." He reached up and brushed Hoseok's bangs out of his face, "now that I know how you feel, I think we can move on to greater things." He was stillsniffling just a bit as he asked, "do you think you can move on after telling me this?"
Hoseok looked up at him, leaning into his touch before nodding at his words, "yeah we can.. Just as long as I can co-lead with you, Hyunwoo-ah~ even if I dont have the title, we'll know. " A refreshing feeling this was for Hyunwoo after hearing the exactly what he wanted to hear. He sighed in relief, "Of course we will. Anyways, handling the boys is a handful. I'd need some help with someone i know can settle them down."
He let out a small giggle at him, his words making it seem like they were parents. He cuddled close to him and held one of his hands in his own, "does this mean we aren't breaking up..?"
"Of course it does, that wasn't supposed to happen in the first place!" He held him tight for one last moment and decided it was time to go back to practice. He stood up and let out his hand gesturing to pick him up. "Let's start off fresh shall we co-leader? Let's prepare ourselves for the questions the others might ask." He chuckled.
He smiled softly at him and nodded, pecking his lips before he stood up, walking out as he held his hand.
And within that moment, their bond became much stronger. The others immeadiately asked what happened once they entered the room. Both explained their parts comfortably and continued their practice. As they danced, the two kept making eye contact and laughed at themselves. After months and months of practicing, with a successful comeback, Monsta X finally had their first win. Hoseok and Hyunwoo were the ones who cried the most.
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