dedicated to PattyCake325 because she is such a wonderful person ; u ;

~*~*~

“Where is Yoona?” Jongsuk hastily asks a nurse from the station on where his wife his. He just finished a surgery on a patient of his and luckily, he is able to survive from the tumor that could have ended his life. Things are going well for him today, but it is different for his wife.

“She just finished her rounds today so I guess she’d be at the coffee shop.” He mutters a silent ‘thank you’ as he takes off his robe and rushes to his office to gather his belongings. As soon as he finishes, preparing himself, he dashes off the hospital to go to the place where Yoona often goes.

He enters the café and the aroma of coffee enters his nostril. As much as he wants to order one, his agendum to find his wife is more important than a cup of coffee.

“There you are, baby.” He sees Yoona, who is sitting at her usual spot, staring at the window with sadness in her eyes. He kisses her forehead before taking a seat beside her. “It’s okay, Yoong. It isn’t your fault.” He takes her hand and tightens his grip on it, before placing a peck on top of it.

Yoona heaves a deep sigh. Today, another patient died on her table. It is a common sight for doctors, they say. But in her two and a half-year of residency, their conditions still haunt her and she could not stop herself from being depressed.

Jongsuk knows that it will take awhile before Yoona will finally say a word. In times like this, no one has to say a thing since he knows that she’s lost in her own little world. He just hopes that her globe is a bit brighter than this.

The Yoona that he knew has changed. They’ve been married for more than 3 years and Jongsuk watched as the spark in her eyes died down and she became more exhausted than ever. He was starting to see his old self in her: sad, broken, and hopeless.

Her love for Medicine is starting to die now, but God knows how thankful he is that she’s not falling out of love of him. Yet. He doesn’t want that to happen so he tries his best to stay at her side and comfort her during that times that she was at her low. After all, they vowed to be with one another despite the incoming obstacles, right?

“I wish he had gone to another hospital, gotten a more experience cardiologist, and survived until now.” Her voice was small and it breaks his heart how wrecked she is right now. “I’m a failure, Jongsuk. Maybe I should just –“

Before she could even utter another word, he leans to peck her lips and that didn’t stop a smile from coming out of . However, the temporary bliss she is feeling immediately dies down and before she knows it, she is a crying mess on his arms.

The same old routine. Jongsuk searching everywhere to find her broken like this. Way back then, she used to lock herself in a bathroom stall and Jongsuk had to climb his way up to console her. He is the only one who could make her heart at ease, but that doesn’t mean that the nightmares would stop coming.

She remembers everything. She remembers their dying wishes, the genuine smile on their faces, and the stories they used to share with her. Doctors like her aren’t supposed to be too attached to their patient because it can only damage them once they’re gone. But being Yoona, she cannot help but be fond of her patients.

The most painful goodbye she has ever had was Jinri, a 6-year-old girl with a con heart disease. They thought she could survive if she continuously drank her prescribed drugs and possibly reach the old age. But one night, when Yoona was having her rounds on her patients, Jinri indirectly said her goodbye to her favorite doctor.

“Yoona-unnie, if I ever die young, I want you to be happy like you always are. I hope that my absence wouldn’t affect your life because I like seeing the pretty smile on your face! Make lots of babies with Jongsuk-oppa, okay? Also, don’t blame yourself if your patients die. You did your best but God decides that it’s for us to be back home. I love you!”

And at exactly 12 midnight, she’s gone.

“Baby, I can’t do this anymore.” She sobbed as he hold her closer, but she could never be broken than ever. “I can’t have my patients continuously dying on me because it just shows how useless I am!” He caresses her hair and it pains him to see his lovely in such a state.

He holds her face and wipes the tears the stain her beautiful cheeks. “Look at me, baby.” Yoona’s gaze landed on him, and he sees how much she’s hurting. “You’re not giving up on the dream we both worked hard for, okay? There are times like this but it’ll pass. It’ll get better. You’ll be well again and continue saving lives with me.”

She shakes her head as she shuts her eyes. “You don’t understand my pain! You don’t know how many sleepless nights I’ve got because their last words echo in my head! You won’t ever know the ache I’m feeling because no one has died on your table yet!”

This time, she is hitting his chest so hard that it could break his ribcage. But he stays silent, and she hates how patient Jongsuk can be with her.

“I hate you, I hate you! Why are you still with me!? Why are you still with a woman who does nothing right in her life!?” She wants to push him away but he hugs her tighter and it somehow soothes her.

“Shh, listen baby. You are one of the most precious things I have ever had and will have and I’m not letting you go. Not ever. Hit me all you want, but this stubborn young man called your husband will be staying with you no matter what. You’re worth everything, Yoona. Stop degrading yourself.”

His speech makes her sob harder. What did she do to deserve this kind of man in her life? What good did she do in her past life to be ever loved by Lee Jongsuk?

*

“Alright Yoona, stop whining and get your in here.” He rolls his eyes as he ends the call. It has been a month since she broken down in front of him and luckily, none of her patients are dying yet but he doesn’t understand the mood swings and tantrums she has been throwing at him.

He checks the whole café once again: most of their colleagues have come to help him for his surprise. He wants Yoona to know that she’s loved by everyone and she’s doing her best to be one of the hospital’s most promising cardiologists.

“Oh come on, Jongsuk. Please tell your wife to stop having her mood swings! Everyone in our department are on edge because we don’t when she’s in a good mood!” Jinki cries out, making his fellow residents nod at his statement.

“Wait, shh! She’s here!” Jessica warns everyone and they all try their best to act normal. They have rented the whole café without Yoona’s knowledge and when she enters, she finally raises an eyebrow. “Hey, doe!”

“Almost everyone’s here?” She asks, and they all look away. She shrugs and goes to her dearest husband who is sitting near the television. “Why aren’t you in our usual spot? I don’t like lighting in here.” She squints her eyes and glares at the lights. “Stupid lamps.”

Jongsuk chuckles and motions for her to take a seat. She obeys, though she is obviously in a sour mood.

“Oh come on, don’t be mad at the lamps! Yesterday, you were mad at the doormat because it wasn’t on its proper place!” He exclaims and Yoona glares at him, making him gulp.

“It’s on my way okay! What if I slip and –“ Before she can even utter a statement, her attention is on the television which is now showing some stolen pictures of her. “What the hell is wrong with this stupid television? Why is everything so dumb these days!”

The doctors try their best not to laugh at the childish outburst of the latter and confuses on the slideshow instead.

“Hey Joe, the television’s being weird…” Her voice falters as she sees the pictures of her patients: the ones who are finally at peace. Tears threaten to fall from her eyes but she tries her best not to cry, not after all her efforts to be okay.

Jongsuk notices the change in her behavior and reaches out to hold her hand. She doesn’t say a word and continues to look at the slideshow which is now showing the late nights she spent at the hospital to finish their research paper.

“Hello, Yoona!” Yuri’s face appears on the screen and she cannot help but chuckle at her messy state. “I’m sorry that I had no time to fix myself. Your husband grabbed me out of nowhere to make me say a message to you!” She complains, but soon composes herself. “Anyway, Yoong, throughout these years, you are one of the most talented cardiologists that I ever know. Your research has been requested to be presented abroad and I could not be more than proud of you!”

Kwon Yuri. Yoona’s soul sister and someone she has always confided on. She is actually a year ahead of her but that doesn’t stop the two from being good friends. Some even say that they look alike now because they are practically inseparable.

“I know that there are times when you feel like you’ve not done enough for your patient, but you’re wrong. You’re one heck of a hardworking lady and Jongsuk’s so lucky to have you.” She chuckles. “We can’t stop people from dying, Yoona. All of us have expiration dates sealed on us and it accidentally happens that we witness some close their eyes for eternity. But that doesn’t mean that you’re a failure, Yoong. Always keep in mind that you’ve done the best that you could. I love you, soul sis!”

She wipes a tear from her cheek and looks around to find the brown-haired lady who waves at her. She chuckles and looks at the television once again, and she tries her best not to break down while some of her fellow residents and some interns say their message to her.

Yuri, Jessica, Hyejin, Xiao Xiao, Minho, and even her sunbaes – they all believe in her capabilities. They all think that she’s an extraordinary person for bringing happiness in their lives. They are all thankful because they have met her, the always wonderful resident of the Cardiology deparment.

Once the video ends, she turns her gaze on her husband and smiles lovingly. “You did this, right?” She asks, and he grins. “Stupid Jongsuk.” She laughs silently as she stands up to sit on his lap. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

They rest their foreheads against one another, with a smile plastered on their faces. “I told you, I will not. Ever. I love you.” The doctors in the café cooed at the cuteness of the two, some are even taking pictures of the scene.

The two of them stayed silent for a moment, up until Yoona placed Jongsuk’s hand on her stomach. She stares at him before giving a light peck on his lips and soon delivers the message.

“I’m pregnant.”

It takes a moment for Jongsuk to realize what she has just said and it is soon his turn to be surprised. Yoona just chuckles at her husband’s reaction and showers his face with light kisses as he stares into space.

Jongsuk then bursts into peals of laughter and carried Yoona on a bridal style.

“I’m going to be a father!” He exclaims and the residents cheer louder.

Yoona nuzzles her face on the crook of his neck and smiles to herself. She has been on edge for the past few years, but never did Jongsuk leave her. She might have lied about telling him that she’s done nothing right in her life because loving him is the best decision she will ever make.