I was flopped rather unattractively on top of my bed, holding my phone up over my face while music played from the wireless speaker box on my nightstand. I dropped my phone a couple of times on my face, but I kept scrolling through the posts with mild interest. I had nothing better to do, and I wasn’t up for playing video games on my own. I wasn’t bored yet, but I was getting close to choosing sleep as an option for something to do.

My phone gave a little chime that echoed from the wireless speaker, and I saw the visual notification of my new message. My eyes narrowed fractionally as I clicked on the white box on my screen.

I’d expected a message from Jihoon, but he was following his trend of ignoring me. The one to have messaged me was actually a younger boy, with talent in regards to music (and virtually everything he attempted). Surprise ran rampant, and then my heart started thudding excitedly.

Trying to play it cool although I was by myself, I smothered my smile.

I’ve got new music to listen to. Meet me at the river, noona

I bit my bottom lip and jumped off of my bed to get ready.

I kept on my comfy clothes, a red sweatshirt and black pants, but I did fix my makeup a teeny bit and brushed my hair. I may have also sprayed a little perfume on, but that was only because I felt like smelling nice for myself.

Right.

Jungkook was already sitting down on the bench we’d used last time, sitting with his legs out in front of him. He was wearing Timberlands, black jeans, and a black sweatshirt with the hood drawn up. His handsome appearance pulled at my heartstrings, and then his smile made my breathing hitch ever so slightly. I smiled in return at him and dropped down next to him, my eyebrows up.

“Well? What’s up, man?”

He laughed at my casual use of the word man, and started playing a song on his phone immediately. I stilled, listening, and then started to smile big. “Wow. I like it already.”

“Told you,” he said smugly, and scooted closer to show me the info. “She’s a new artist, and a lot of her songs are really good. They remind me of you.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Me? They remind you of me?”

He nodded quickly, scrolling through the play list. “Yeah. The songs sound sweet and innocent at first, and then they punch you in the stomach.”

Taken aback, I jerked away from him. “Excuse you.”

Jungkook laughed without remorse, pulling me closer again. “In a good way, noona, in a good way,” he assured me.

Rolling my eyes and letting him do whatever he wanted, I stayed close again, looking at the song list. I narrowed my eyes on one and pointed without touching the phone’s screen. “What’s that one about?”

His eyes left my face and looked at the phone too. “Which one? ‘Lonely’?” When I nodded he averted his gaze. “That’s a dirty song, noona…”

My eyes widened and I turned my eyes down quickly. “Oh. Never mind. Um, that one?” I pointed at another track, hoping the name of the song would be a better indication of the song’s content.

Jungkook looked at the screen again and his cheeks gained a pretty red color. “That’s a love song. It’s not dirty.”

Glancing briefly at him, I pressed my fingertip to the phone’s screen, starting up the song. The female artist’s voice was sweet and melodic, but it sounded sad too. As the song continued to progress, and she recounted her story through the verses and the chorus, I recognized that her tale was rather similar to mine. My heart ached because the song didn’t have a happy ending, but I still loved it to death. I pulled out my phone to write down the artist’s name and the song’s title while Jungkook watched on triumphantly. I stored my phone again with a little sigh, hating that our musical taste was quite similar, as opposed to my black-and-white comparison to Jihoon’s tastes. Yet, I was also kind of happy to know there was someone who was actually a lot like me. It made me feel a little less lonely.

But not like the dirty song “Lonely”. I didn’t feel that kind of lonely at all, okay?

Jungkook looked at me curiously, blinking his eyes slowly as he stared. I raised my eyebrow at him, wondering why he was staring at me so openly all of a sudden. Just as I was about to say something to get him to quit because I was starting to feel self-conscious, he lifted his hand and brushed his fingertips over my cheek. My face started to heat up immensely, my heart unable to handle the sudden shock, but I wasn’t about to let him know that. He leaned away a little, his own face pink. “There was an eyelash,” he explained, and I nodded, pretending I hadn’t been affected at all. I looked down at my leg, which happened to be right next to his. The difference in our thighs was huge; his was all muscle, and mine… Well, mine was not.

After a while more of listening to his artist’s songs, he nudged my leg with his, knocking our knees together. I looked at him again, and that was enough of a go ahead for him to ask the question he wanted to ask me. “Have you broken up with your boyfriend yet?”

Frowning because I didn’t really want to talk about Jihoon, I shook my head anyway. “No, I haven’t gotten the opportunity.” I hadn’t been actively seeking one, either.

I think he noticed because he narrowed his eyes. “Stop putting it off, noona, it’s not fair.”

I sighed, rolling my shoulders. “It’s not like you have to do it. You have no idea how stressful the idea itself is.”

He rolled his eyes. “Now you sound like a big baby.”

I grunted childishly. “So what if I am?”

He burst out laughing and reached over to bop me on the head lightly. “Aish, stop it.”

I swatted his hand away and stuck my tongue out at him, and we both ended up laughing as he continued to try and bop my head again and I kept on batting his hand away. We ended up leaning on each other, our arms pressed together. My head was against his shoulder and his head was resting on top of mine, the music on his cell phone providing some excellent background music to go with the amazing view in front of us. It was a truly relaxing moment, and I felt at peace the entire time we sat together.

After a moment of silence, Jungkook mumbled, “You really are a big baby, though.”

That earned him a hard smack on his thigh, and he burst out laughing.

“You’re going to get me fired,” I muttered, busily preparing the meat while he ate his rice happily across from me at the restaurant.

He shook his head quickly, some of his hair falling forward as he did so. I took the liberty of reaching forward to brush it away, since I was pretty much used to doing so every time at work, and he only watched my wrist while I did. When I took my hand back, he resumed grabbing some of the cooked meat from the plate I had set aside, and ate it together with some rice with a smile on his face. It was satisfying to see him so happy, and I smiled to myself too, content with the moment.

“You’re not going to get fired,” he promised after he finished chewing what he’d stuffed into his mouth. He looked at the meat with greed in his eyes, handsome face mischievous. “No one will ever suspect that it’s your fault I’m gaining so much weight.”

Narrowing my eyes, I pointed the tongs at him. “Hey. You better not let them notice. You have to lift even more weights and gain muscle so you can keep me safe from getting fired.”

He laughed and nodded. “Okay, I’ll do my best. Hurry,” he urged, gesturing at the meat with a grin.

Shaking my head with a smirk, I continued to grill the beef we’d ordered, amazed by how easily I listened to him. He’d had the idea to get some food, and I had agreed all too readily. I was absolutely hopeless in his presence, and I wondered if he didn’t know it already.

After I was finished grilling, I started eating in earnest too, although I hadn’t been very hungry originally. Watching him eat gave me the munchies, so I ended up eating because of the delicious way he ate in front of me. He kept on giving me food to try from his set, and so I also shared mine, and he kept on praising how I’d grilled the meat, which made me laugh because he was being rather adorable. Spending time with him felt natural and comfortable for me, and my life seemed simple once again.

“Where do you see yourself in a few years?” Jungkook asked me right after I had asked him what his favorite colors were, the two of us having decided to play a question game.

Thinking about it, I shrugged my shoulders uncertainly. “I don’t know, to be honest. I mean, I want to see myself owning my own shop, and maybe beside the love of my life…” I blushed a little at the last part of my answer, not originally intending to reveal that bit of truth. I shrugged again. “I want to be known as a really great stylist around the world, and I want really famous people to come to Korea just to get their hair done by me.”

Jungkook smiled at me, nodding with satisfaction. “That’s a good dream. It’s got just the right amount of greed, and even more selflessness.” He laughed. “Good job, noona.”

Rolling my eyes but still smiling, I nodded at him this time. “Well? What about you, huh?”

Without even hesitating, he answered, “Making music with my best friends.” He looked down shyly despite his immediate response, and my heart was tickled. “I’m never going to give up music… I don’t know what else will happen.” He smirked a little at me. “Maybe I’ll have the love of my life beside me.”

Red in the face, I shrugged, hiding by taking a drink of my water. That only got him to laugh some more, pleased with himself for embarrassing me with his teasing.

“Big baby,” he teased further, and I glared mildly at him, about ready to throw my chopsticks at him.

All in all, it was a really good night.

I stopped in front of my apartment building. I turned to look at Jungkook shyly, too embarrassed to even think about showing him my place. “Well. I guess this is goodnight.”

He raised his eyebrows. “I’m walking you all the way home. What if you get kidnapped on the way up to your apartment? What if while you’re unlocking the door, someone just comes up behind you and—gah!” he shouted suddenly, not quite making me jump, but I did blink because he’d yelled pretty close to my face. I ended up laughing while he grinned. “To your door and back," he said, "because it’s already late. Don’t waste any more time arguing, because I insist.”

Huffing, I knew he wasn’t going to budge, and he had a point about it being so late already. From what he’d told me back at the restaurant, he was only out and about because he was sneaky, but if they caught him, he was dead meat. I started to walk quickly towards the building’s entrance, but his longer legs ate up the distance quicker and he beat me to the door, opening it for me smugly. With a light laugh, I zipped by him and walked towards the elevator. He had no difficulty catching up to me again.

We rode up in silence while he looked around in the elevator car. When the doors finally opened on my floor, I stepped out, and he followed. I kept on going until I stopped right outside my door, and I looked up at him with a small smile. “Okay. Go home safely now.”

He scoffed. “We got this far, noona. Now I want to see what your place looks like, even if it’s only from the doorway.” He smirked. “Or is it too messy?”

I glared openly at him now. “It’s not. Go home safely now.”

He sighed with exaggeration. “It’s getting so, so late…”

Swallowing my impatience with the younger guy, I typed in my code and opened the door wide. He quickly leaned around me to look inside, his eyes wide with wonder.

My place wasn’t huge, but it wasn’t disappointing. He would be able to see the small bit of my kitchen, the little living area, and if he really peeled his eyes, he’d see the foot of my bed. Everything was neat and orderly, simple but classy if not pretty. I wasn’t much for girly things, but I was a fan of crystals and glass, so there were enough decorations like that to add a touch of femininity; I was also relieved to catch the scent of my votive candles, afraid that it would smell weird for some reason.

Jungkook grinned at me. “I like it.” He backed away, waving already. “Goodnight, noona, see you tomorrow.”

I laughed as I watched him go, amazed with his behavior. I leaned against the door frame as he went, still staring after him. When he stepped into the elevator and saw me across the hallway, I lifted my hand and fluttered my fingers at him. “Go safely, Jungkook. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight,” he repeated, demanding a response to that one word.

I grinned. “Goodnight, Jungkook,” I complied, just before the doors closed on his handsome face.

Chewing on my bottom lip to pretend I wasn’t grinning like an idiot, I entered my apartment and closed the door behind me, my heart still fluttering in my chest. My life wasn’t so complicated after all.

I liked Jeon Jungkook, simple as that.

It was a rather productive day for me. I sent Jihoon a message telling him I wanted to meet up, I got to work on time, I had my stuff ready to get down to business, and I was looking pretty dang stylish the whole time. I was still going with subtlety, and I wasn’t aiming for anything flashy, but my hair smelled and looked great, my natural makeup was fresh, and my outfit was on point. I also remembered to wear my favorite perfume, just because.

Well, just because Jungkook, if I was to be honest, but that was beside the point.

When the boys arrived to get ready, I had Jungkook’s outfit held out for him to go change, which he took with an amused smirk, and then I was standing over a patient Namjoon. As I finished with his hair and began to apply his makeup base, he smiled up at me.

“You’re looking rather fresh today,” he complimented, and I grinned.

“You think so? Thanks, homie,” I replied, making him laugh with amusement. I felt good, to be truthful, and I was glad to be useful.

He patted my arm, nodding with a grin. “You’re cool, man, you’re cool.”

It was my turn to laugh, and I was even happier as I applied his makeup. I was also hurrying up because, well, Jungkook was up next.

Once it came time for the boys to trade places, I pretended to be annoyed. I groaned and shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut. “Why? Why do I have to do this kid’s hair and makeup? Jiminnie, save noona.”

Jimin beamed over from his chair. “Come here, noona, I’ll save—!”

Solmi pressed down on his shoulders, keeping him down because he’d started to stand up. “You will sit still now, young man! I am the only noona you save.”

Taehyung laughed, pointing at Jimin with a huge grin. “You’re screwed.”

Jungkook glared at me while still maintaining a wry smile. “You just enjoy causing pain for this poor kid, don’t you?”

I looked over at Jimin. “What? No, he’s in great hands.”

“I was talking about me,” Jungkook half-barked, and I ran away laughing when he lifted himself from the chair, ready to kick me.

I held both my hands out in front of me, feigning terror. “Please don’t hurt me anymore, I’ll be good now, I promise!”

Walking over, Yoongi raised his eyebrow at Jungkook. “Hey, kid. You’re picking on Melomelo, too? You just don’t know when to quit, do you?”

Jimin piped up, “She needs to be saved, hyung! She needs help!”

Hoseok came running over. “What she needs is hope!”

Yoongi his heel, rubbing his head tiredly. “Aish. You got too rowdy again, Hobie.”

I waved my hands around. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I know how to tame the beast.”

Jungkook gaped at me. “Hey! Who are you calling a beast?”

“Hey, kids, get back over here,” Hyori suddenly called, and Yoongi and Hoseok were forced to go back to her station to finish getting ready, although I knew that the reason she called them back was also because they were close to me.

I looked at her quietly for a second, sobering up from our playing, and after accepting the fact that she was going to be ticked off at me most likely for forever, I got to fixing up Jungkook’s hair.

He was watching me through the vanity mirror again, and he spoke up at last. “You got into a fight with Hyori-noona, didn’t you?”

Pausing my hands, I leaned around to look at Jungkook. “You be quiet,” I said lightly, sounding playful only because I didn’t want him to ask why. I didn’t know if I could lie to him anymore.

He remained quiet for a little while, but he wasn’t one to give up. He asked, “Did you do something to make her upset?”

Frowning, I stared at him through the mirror. “Yes,” I admitted, because it was true, and then refocused on his hair like I was supposed to.

Seriously not one to give up, he continued to probe; “Did you eat her last strawberry? Yoongi-hyung did that once.”

I gave the guy a look, my eyebrows raised. “You really think it’s over a strawberry?”

His expression split into a handsome grin and he shook his head. “No, but I’m having fun guessing.”

With that alone, he disarmed me. I squeezed my eyes shut and stepped behind him, hiding as best I could even though he’d still be able to see me because of my reflection in the mirror in front of us. I was positive that my affection for him was written plainly across my face now, my feelings getting way ahead of me. It was a miracle I wasn’t fired already considering how obvious it was that I liked him.

After another moment of silence, he guessed again, “Did you break her cell phone? Namjoon-hyung did that, and she didn’t talk to him for a couple of days.”

I dropped my arms to my side. “Jungkook. No.” He laughed again, and I stared at him in the mirror. “Why are you so weird, huh?” I asked him this time, starting to smile again because of the way he was emanating his own happiness.

He shrugged his shoulders, linking his hands in his lap. “If it makes you quit frowning, I think it’s worth it to be weird.”

Blushing, I looked down. “You’re so weird,” I mumbled, and he laughed again.

I can’t make it tonight, I promised the boss to stay late. Tomorrow?

Rubbing the back of my neck, I stared down at my phone’s screen. I was finally prepared to breakup with him, and now he was avoiding me after nagging me about not having time for him. I wanted to throw my phone, but it had my music, and that was really the only thing keeping me from hurling it at the wall. Frustrated beyond normal standards, I walked over to the exit that would take me to the elevators to get me out of the company building, and when I pulled the door open, there stood a Jimin and a Taehyung.

Frozen in my spot, I stared at them without blinking, looking back and forth between the 95ers. They exchanged a quick look, and then turned to face me again with twin smiles. My eyebrow twitched as I watched them, reminded of a horror movie out of the blue. My suspicions arose. “What are you two doing? Weren’t you supposed to be on the van back home by now?”

Jimin raised his hand when he spoke. “Actually, we were going to stay behind to practice a little more. Yeah, to practice!”

“To practice!” Taehyung shouted, raising his own hand to speak.

I had started to smile, thinking they were so cute and so hardworking to stay behind, but then they made it weird again. That, and it quickly became obvious that Jimin had just thought of his explanation on the spot.

Leaning forward to look up and down the hallway, my suspicions grew even more. I looked at them, standing with my hands on my hips. “Okay. So just you two are hanging back to practice. You two. Alone.”

Jimin looked to Taehyung for help on this one, his eyes super wide. Taehyung blanked, staring to the side, and then he held his hand up again with a brilliant smile. “Oh my gosh, we want to show you!”

I held my hands up. “Why are you yelling?”

Taehyung lunged at me and grabbed my wrist, and Jimin followed suit. Pretty soon, I was being dragged away from the coordis room, unable to resist the 95ers’ strength. I was practically sprinting after them, their hurried steps too much for my shorter strides.

We finally ended up at the door to room P28, and I was breathing quickly from the race. I stared at them, just about ready to tear their heads off. I looked back and forth between them. “What. The. Heck.”

Jimin held his hand up, touched his index finger to his lips, and then reached around me to open the door to the room. As soon as it was open, he pushed me gently through, and I looked around. There were mirrors, the floor was wooden and springy, and there were speakers. However, there was no one else in the room other than Jimin, Taehyung, and myself. I glowered at them, demanding answers with my look.

Taehyung took that cue and ran over to the sound system, and played a very random song that was definitely not by BTS. He ran over again, dragged Jimin to the center of the room, and they both started dancing. They were not in sync, and I knew it was not choreographed. Their freestyle dancing was comical, but I was too flabbergasted to laugh.

Raising my eyebrows at them, folding my arms across my chest to appear intimidating this time, I waited for them to realize that I was not a happy camper. I don’t like being confused, and they were seriously befuddling my brain. When they finally took note of my displeasure, Jimin went over to the sound system and stopped the music, panting from how chaotically he’d been dancing with Taehyung. Meanwhile, the second 95er fell to the floor, gasping for air, absolutely exhausted from his odd hopping-twisting-jerking-twirling-wiggling freestyle dancing.

Holding up his hands in a placating gesture, Jimin tried appealing to me. “Noona. Before you get angrier, let me just say this.”

I narrowed my eyes some more. “Say what?”

Then he broke into song.

I whipped around and started to march towards the door. “Goodnight, kids, go home safely!”

They raced over and jerked me back, grabbing me by my arms. I started fighting, grunting as I tried to break free, but they were guys and worked out and I hadn’t been to the gym in weeks if not months already. I ended up watching my own dragging feet, muttering unhappily.

Setting me down beside the sound system, they looked down at me while I crisscrossed my legs and folded my arms tightly, unhappy.

With an angelic smile, Jimin pleaded, “Just listen to me sing, noona, please?”

“I’ve heard you sing eight times today, Jiminnie,” I reminded him, thrown off by his behavior, which was odder than normal.

He paused, then grinned. “Well, then listen to Taehyunggie this time.”

Taehyung beamed, nodding. “Yeah! Please, noona?”

Knowing I had no hope whatsoever, I nodded slowly at last. “Okay. Go ahead. Sing for me.”

Ready for sleepy time after the boys’ bizarre behavior, I rode the elevator up to my floor in silence. I was starving, I was exhausted, and I was dying to crawl into bed to rest my aching calves. Once I made it to my door, I keyed in the code, and threw my door open to dash inside, forgetting that I was hungry and choosing instead to just go to bed.

My plans were dashed when I made it to the living area, however. I stared down at my center table, surprised to find that there was a beautiful arrangement of roses in a crystalline vase. There was a single white rose among the violently-bright red, and in between the fragrant flowers was a card. My heart beating fast, completely unprepared for this gesture, I stepped forward and plucked the small piece of paper, taking a moment to bring it to my nose. It smelled like the roses as I’d suspected, and I started to smile without realizing it. Unfolding the card, I read its contents slowly once, and then twice.

The thought of you makes me smile. Keep working hard
—Your secret admirer