To say that Seulgi felt pathetic would be putting it lightly. She doesn’t know what mistakes or wrong choices she’s made to have to come to such predicament.

Here she was, in a restroom stall, hiding and crying because her good friend, who happens to be her boss, had asked her to organize an office party to celebrate his engagement with Soojung from the human resource department.

Seulgi, although she’d never admit it out loud, especially now that the situation is more complicated, has been in love with Jongin for the past 2 years and a half. She never thought she’d commit the biggest cliché in the history of clichés and fall in love with her boss. She’s been Jongin’s secretary ever since she had her practicum at the company; around the same time, he succeeded his father.

Unlike everyone else, Seulgi was the one who believed in Jongin the most. This led to a deeper relationship between the two of them. She knew that beyond that cold exterior was a man yearning for understanding, support, and love. She saw that right from the start. They’re as good as best friends, some would say. It was the only reason she stayed in the company. With her skillset she could do more than just be a secretary. But somehow she felt that she needed to be by his side. Seulgi has always been the only one Jongin allowed to break through his barriers. Or at least she thought she was.

It came as a shock to Seulgi when one afternoon that she entered Jongin’s office, she saw Soojung sitting on his lap and playing tonsil hockey with him. Seulgi quickly told Jongin that he had a meeting at the Shilla Hotel and then she all but ran out of there. That was the first time she cried in the restroom.

Perhaps she was meant to see that, perhaps she wasn’t. Either way, that sight left Seulgi broken and raw.

Four months later, to this day exactly, Jongin called her into his office. She recognized from his tone that he wasn’t asking as a superior but as a friend instead. He asked her to prepare the engagement party since they, him and Soojung, wanted to celebrate with everyone.

It took everything in Seulgi to hold her tears back and not break down in front on Jongin. She thought that she already mastered the art of hiding her pain. But hearing him and looking at his face as he talked about the engagement was like reality slapping her in the face. The reality that she was no longer the reason for Jongin’s smiles and laughs weighed heavily in Seulgi’s heart and mind.

But she has no choice. It’s her duty as his friend and secretary to do as he asked. And so, with a heavy heart, she fixed herself up, eliminating all traces of the sobbing she’d been doing just now; all traces of pain pushed aside.

Seulgi noticed eyes watching her as she walked back to her desk. When she was at her computer, soft pings sounded off. She felt a little relief tug at her heart. She knew it was her friends. The news of the engagement has probably spread throughout the company.

jh_bae: seul, are you okay?

ty_lee: heard what happened. wanna drink it out later?

ww_jeon: he’s dimwitted!!!

sy_park: u can still confess. NOW!!!!

jh_yoon: oblivious fckr!!!!!!!

sw_son: sad movie marathon later to cry it out of your system?

ww_jeon: @jh_yoon @sw_son stop using each other’s accounts

sy_park: that prank got old right after the first time you did it.

bear_kang: guys… i’m fine

bear_kang: i’m in charge of the party anyway. i can just spend his money aimlessly to make it up to myself

Seulgi didn’t actually mean it. But for the sake of her pride, she has to hold her head up high despite everything.

As she typed her next message, Soojung passed by her desk, the corners of her lips upturned into a smirk. Seulgi doesn’t know if it was just her emotions or if Soojung really did mean to send her the ‘ for you’ message with that smirk. They were never really close to begin with. It was hard for Seulgi to be in the same room with her after the day she witnessed them kissing. Said woman disappeared behind the door of Jongin’s office.

 It was after hours and the party was well underway. Seulgi had about a few glasses of wine but her friends thought that for the occasion, she might need something a little stronger so they spiked all her drinks with some other thing Seungwan brought.

Unfortunately for them their other coworkers had managed to force Seulgi up the mini stage to sing a song. If they’d known, they wouldn’t have done what they did.

Jongin looked towards where he heard most of the partygoers cheer on. He was pleasantly surprised to see Seulgi being dragged to the mini stage. Seulgi was well known in the office for having a very nice voice. He knew how talented she is after all and so he clapped, all too eager to hear her sing. Soojung was around somewhere, probably showing off her ring or telling people about how he proposed to her.

What surprised Jongin, and everyone who was listening was the song Seulgi chose. For an engagement party, she picked a really sad song. She started singing “I Have Nothing” which kind of brought the mood down.

He noticed that she seemed a little bit intoxicated when she slurred over a word. Probably more intoxicated than she’d care to admit. He also saw how the vocalist of the band that was invited to be the party’s entertainer was taking advantage of Seulgi’s state and was touching her too much.

He should probably get up there and put an end to this. He doesn’t like what’s happening. But something in the back of his mind was stopping him. He could only breathe a sigh of relief when he sees Joohyun and Sooyoung get up to break-off the inappropriate touching.

In all honesty, Jongin knows Seulgi more than he lets on. Of course not enough to know her feelings for him, but he knew enough to know that Seulgi would never let herself go like that at a time like this. This is still after all an event she organized. If she did that, Seulgi must be carrying something pretty big.

Jongin was pacing in front of the locked restroom near his office. He went off to look for Seulgi after he saw her ran off when her friends were consoling her, after escorting her from the mini stage. He looked everywhere and he was pretty sure she was inside this one. Was she really crying? Why? More importantly, why hasn’t she said anything to him?

The door suddenly opened and Jongin was about to step in when Seulgi bumped onto his chest. He caught her by her elbows reflexively.

“Are you okay?” His voice was hoarse from the worrying. “Has something happened? Why didn’t you tell me anything?”

“Why are you here, Jongin?”

“That doesn't answer my questions.” He knew far too well the tone Seulgi’s voice had taken.

Seulgi sighed. People don’t say Jongin is stubborn for nothing. “Which question would you like me to answer first then?”

Jongin looked at her, clearly not buying the sarcasm.

“This is not the time nor the place for this discussion. Go back to the party, Jongin.” Seulgi sounded half stern and half pleading.

He stared at her face, her eyes were red, obviously from crying. He will absolutely not let this rest. Without another word, he dragged her off to his office. The noise of the party a floor down from where they are at was muffled with the closing of the door.

“Start talking. And don’t bother lying.”

“It’s the booze, okay. Haven’t you heard of women getting emotional after drinking?”

“What did I just tell you about giving me some bull reason?”

“Fine!” It’s partly due to the booze, but for the most part, Seulgi’s exhaustion from the secrecy has finally caught up to her. “I’m what’s wrong. I thought I could will it away but I can’t. I love you, Jongin. I’ve loved you from the start.” Just like that, Seulgi was crying again.

Jongin was rendered speechless by the sudden confession. What’s more alarming is being this close to Seulgi as she cried. Seulgi has always been someone Jongin gained strength from. She did so much for him; and for that, he thought that the least he could do was keep her safe and happy. He thought he’s been doing a decent job at that. How could he not have noticed her feelings for him? He even asked her to plan this whole thing for him. He can’t imagine how she must be feeling right now.

Jongin cupped her face in his hands, thumbs swiping away her tears. “I’m sorry.” Was all he could say. He didn’t know what he was apologizing for, but he thought it was a start. “I’m sorry.” He repeated.

Seulgi closed shut her eyes tight as he apologized. More tears poured from her closed eyes. This was it. Everything was out in the open now.

Jongin wasn’t sure what urged him on, but he couldn’t stand seeing Seulgi shed more tears. So he did what he never thought he could do, he kissed her.

One kiss led to another, and another, and before either of them could stop and rationalize everything they were on Jongin’s couch, him on top of her. Their clothing articles formed a trail from the center of the room where they were previously standing, to the couch.

The only sounds that came from the couple tangled on the couch were moans. Jongin and Seulgi let their touches, their kisses, say all the things left unsaid between them.

Note:

This chapter is as raw as Seulgi's feelings here. It's unedited so if you notice anything wrong, feel free to point it out. Also, if you have questions, just ask away. :)