I was cleaning out the room only thinking of her. Only thinking of Minoh. How could she leave me like that? All of the sudden! She didn’t say a word and now she’s gone. I’m alone. I’m all alone. She was the only one that accepted me as I truly am. It broke my heart seeing her dressed in white. Oh how she hated that color. It reminded her of purity and innocence. She was neither most of the time. She was my little rebellious jagiya. Always causing trouble and making everyone laugh in the end. She had her moments when she’d look at me with her big brown eyes like nothing was wrong. When in fact almost every night she’d talk about how the world would end and she’d always love me. She’d question everything. She’d even question my love sometimes because when she was little she was always bullied and lied to. She never really trusted anyone. She said that when she met me she hated me at first but over time she said she watched herself fall in love with the most perfect man she’s ever met. Me. I’m not perfect though. I’m broken. She said she saw my cracks and scars. That’s what made me perfect to her. My family never saw me as a talented person but when she heard me rap she thought I was the best rapper ever. She encouraged me to auditioned for companies. I have my first audition for BigHit Entertainment in a few weeks. I wish she was with me. Minoh why did you leave me…. I was cleaning our room we shared together. I was packing her things. I came across an old radio we used to mess around with. I smiled as I thought of her. She’d play some songs and sing and dance along. Her singing was so beautiful. I told her to audition with me but she said the idol life was not for her. God she was so beautiful. I wish I could hold her in my arms one last time. I miss her big brown eyes, her pale skin and rosy cheeks, her little freckles on her nose, her pink lips that are so soft and everytime I kissed them it feels like the first time ever. The first time… I made it as special as I could. I found this little garden near the river we played at. I invited her for a picnic date and we stayed till it was really late at night. I looked into her eyes and kissed her lips gently. Why did you lie to me Minoh. Why did you leave me. My smile I had was now gone and replaced with a straight line. Tears escaped my eyes and ran down my cheeks. God how much I missed her. I grabbed the radio and noticed there was a little cassette in it. “For my Yoongi” The label read. It was her writing. I put it in and clicked play. At first it was static noise then it became clear. “Oppa!!! It’s me! It’s your Jagiya. It’s Minoh.” It was her voice. At that moment I broke down and fell to my knees crying. It was her voice. She was talking to me. “Oppa please don’t be sad. If you’re hearing this I am already gone. I’m so sorry my precious Yoongi. I love you so much I’m so sorry. Words can’t explain how sad I am because you’re sad. What’s worse is that I’m talking right now and I feel like breaking down and you know how much I hate crying.” She never cried. Only when it was really serious. I always held her as she cried cause she’d only cry in front of me. I could tell her voice was cracking that she was breaking down as she spoke. “Yoongi I love you. God I love you. Words can’t explain how much I love you and how much you mean to me. I’m sorry I never told you about my illness. I couldn’t. I didn’t want you to leave me or be angry with me but I assume not telling you made it worse. When I told you about how sick I was you were so mad at me and I’m sorry. I’m sorry Min Yoongi.” She was crying. I could hear her cry. I wanted to hold her like I did all those other times. A few months ago she told me she was sick and didn’t have much time to live. I was so mad because she hid the truth from me. After a few sniffles she started speaking again. “I want you…I want you to keep my Kumamon toy to remember me. I know how much you hate it because he looks stupid but the reason I keep it is because he reminds me of you. No not because you look stupid its because you’re so cute and cuddly like Kumamon and I just love you so much. Please don’t be mad at me Yoongi. Please don’t be mad or upset or depressed. I’m gone but I will wait for you.” My anger left as I heard her talk. She wanted it so I’d be in less pain. She didn’t want to see me suffer or watch her die. After she told me about her illness I took her everywhere I could. Then she was hospitalized and I got even angrier. “I want you to move on Yoongi. Please don’t let me hold you back from anything. I want you to try hard for your audition! I will always watch you and cheer you on. Remember I’m your biggest fan!! And when that time comes when you meet another girl. Treat her like you treated me. Because that girl is going to be very special and very lucky. But don’t forget me Yoongi oppa. I wish I could be there right now and kiss you and tell you everything’s alright. Because it is. I’m looking down at you with a big smile... or looking up from down under I mean remember that one New Years Eve when we were alone on the rooftop... Hahaha!! Yoongi oppa, I love you so much. I promise I will see you again! I love you Yoongi. Don’t forget me you . I love you I love you I love you! I’ll see you soon oppa. I know I’ve said it a million times already but I love you. I will always love you Yoongi.” The recording ended after that. I stood up and smiled. I’m going to miss her so much. Her service was a few days ago and a few people showed up. Her family that she always said didn’t care, my family that loved her like she was a part of the family, and 3 old friends of hers. She was dressed in a white lace dress. Her short hair that I loved putting my hands through was in her face. I gently pushed it back and saw her closed eyes. Her cold skin just made her passing that much more real. I’ll always think of the way she laughed and the way she smiled. I’ll always think of our happy memories. She was perfect. She was my butterfly.

Min Yoongi joined Bangtan Sonyeondan (BTS) and is known as Suga, the badass rapper with a cute side, potty mouth, attitude, and obsession with Kumamon. He wrote “Butterfly” in honor of his first love. Nobody ever knew that story because he never told anyone. The only people that knew was him and her. He worked so hard because he knew she was watching. In fact, most of the songs he wrote were about her. Most of the songs he rapped he thought of her. He became the person he is today because of her. Because Minoh… She was his butterfly.