The patterns in the pool made his head spin.

 

The soft glow from the streetlight bounced off the pale pink of the tiled floor, creating a real life hologram.

 

 Funny, Jungkook thought. Jimin's lips are the same colour.

 

His feet were tingling from the amount of time they had been in the water.

The white pills in his palm stared back at him almost challengingly.

 

 You're going to try to stop?

 

Jungkook wanted to stop.

He really did.

For Jimin.

 

Maybe that was it.

 

Jimin created such a pandemonium in his mind that he wanted, no, needed these to keep him grounded.

It would be so easy to just lose himself in Jimin.

 

Lose himself in the way he laughed.

 

Lose himself in the way he smiled.

 

Lose himself in the way he called Jungkook's name, writhing under him, begging.

 

He loves you, his clouded mind snickered. So much.

 

Jungkook lied down, his legs still inside the water. The bottle of pills slid easily from his hand, rolling and stopping somewhere Jungkook could care less about. The familiar burning sensation crept its way into his eyes, releasing whatever emotion he had left in him.

 

It was easy to believe that beautiful lie.

 

_

 

 

I.

 

'Kook! The car is so warm.' Jimin giggled as he struggled to climb on the bonnet of Jungkook's red Impala.

Jungkook walked outside the convenience store, his hand balancing a can of soda and a popsicle.

 

'We just turned the engine off, princess.' He smiled as Jimin's eyes lit up, catching sight of what Jungkook had in his hands.

 

'Orange Candy! You're the best Kookie.' Jimin rubbed his hands in anticipation.

 

'I know. Now calm down, we still have to unwrap it.' Jungkook chuckled, looking at Jimin, who looked as though he was going to pounce on the popsicle.

 

Jungkook placed his soda can on the bonnet next to Jimin and carefully unwrapped the treat for Jimin. He handed it to the orange-haired boy who immediately took to eating it. Jungkook quickly got on to the bonnet and pulled Jimin by his waist until he was nearly on top of the younger male.

 

Jimin hummed and held out his popsicle. Jungkook took one swipe and smirked.

 

'Tastes like you.' He winked.

 

Jimin blushed. 'That's not the only thing that tastes like me,' he whispered, before capturing Jungkook's lips with his own.

 

Jungkook pulled away while pointing, 'Yellow car!' He slightly pinched the older.

Jimin recoiled.

 

'Ow! Red car.' Jimin said, pinching Jungkook harder.  

 

Jungkook needed his pills.

 

_

 

 

If you must come my way, I will put you back in place.

 

_

 

II.   

 

'Is it the theatre?' Jungkook shook his head.

 

Jimin's voice went an octave higher in horror. 'Are we having high tea?' Jungkook laughed out loud, the sound causing the car to vibrate. 'Lord, no!'

 

'Kook! Were you part of the army for the World War? And now you need test subjects for shooting. I knew it!' Jimin hollered, amusement lacing his voice.

 

'Maybe. Also, you have a wonderful imagination. Ever thought about being an author?' Jungkook smiled, turning briefly to look at Jimin. The older boy had his legs propped up on the dashboard, worn out shoes in contrast to the sleek black. Jungkook still wondered how someone could look so effortlessly good in a simple t-shirt and jeans combo.

 

'I have, actually. But I'd like to keep my job as a singer, thank you very much.'

 

Jungkook chuckled. 'Oh really? Who would you write about?'

 

Jimin looked straight ahead and answered as seriously as he possibly could, 'I'd write about a buffalo, named Jungkook. This buffalo is so annoying that he leaves his clothes all over the house and always finds a way out of doing the dishes.'

 

Jungkook looked at him, positively mortified. 'You do know that it's the same buffalo who literally gives you so much love that you can bathe in it, three times a day, everyday, for the next millennium.'

 

'Oh, I forgot to mention. And then, a beautiful prince named Jimin would kiss this buffalo and magically, Jungkook would turn into this very, very handsome man.'

 

'That Jimin loves?'

 

'That Jimin loves.'

 

//

 

The car finally came to a stop. Jungkook rushed out side the door and pulled Jimin's door open.

'Well, thank you. What a gentleman. Or should I say, gentle buffalo?' Jimin cracked up, laughing until he had tears in his eyes.

 

'Funny.' Jungkook replied, not the least bit amused. 'Hurry up, orangie.'

 

Jimin ran up to him. 'Watch it! My hair is my asset.' Jungkook hit Jimin's bum and the older boy squealed. 'That's not your only one.'

 

They walked through a small lane, lined with shops selling trinkets of all kinds. Jimin got himself a delicate silver ring and one more for Jungkook.

 

'I give you this ring;

 Which you part from, lose or give away,

Let it presage the ruin of your love,

And be my vantage to exclaim on you.' Jimin drawled out, dramatically covering his eyes with his hands as he spoke.

 

'Enough, my mini Shakespeare. Time to go.' Jungkook chuckled.

 

'That's all I get? After that speech?' Jimin huffed.

 

'Fine. I'm no Shakespeare but,' Jungkook leaned close to Jimin's ear. 'All I know is that every time I see you, you rob me of all my words. My veins feel constricted with the amount of love that flows in them. And the rest of the world doesn't matter, fades into a haze, because all I see is you, all I want is you.'

 

Jimin stood, stunned. Jungkook, the boy who had never been able to express emotions, no matter what kind, just spoke to him about how much he loved him.

 

Jimin turned to hug him and sighed. He didn't need nor want anything else.

 

//

 

'Can I look now?' Jimin was almost about to explode with excitement and somewhere in the corner of his brain, fear.

 

'Wait for a moment. I'm having second thoughts now.' Jungkook didn't laugh but you could tell that he was joking.

 In one way, Jimin didn't want Jungkook to remove his hands from the older boy's eyes. They were warm and inhumanly soft and everything about them reminded him of home.

The other way, he wanted to just have a look, a tiny peak to see what Jungkook was planning.

 

It was pretty dark by now, the sun just setting, making the sky blush an exotic purple.

 

'You can...now.' Jungkook removed his hands, painfully slow. The light felt a little foreign to Jimin's eyes but it took them less than a second to focus themselves on the sight in front of him.

 

A surprised puff of air fell out of Jimin's lips. This was not what he was expecting. At all.

 

The familiar stone amphitheatre was covered in lights, painstakingly done by hand. The purple of the sky and the yellow of the miniature bulbs caused a kind of swirling in Jimin's chest, warming his entire body.

 

'Kook...' He was at a loss of words. He really wanted to shout and scream in joy. Hug Jungkook so tight that he wouldn't be able to breathe, and kiss him, let him know how much he meant to him.

 

Jimin couldn't believe Jungkook had brought him back to the place where he first performed. Where it all began.

 Where the two of them had met.

 

Jungkook came behind him, wrapping him in a hug, chin resting on the other's shoulder.

 

'Go on, perform. Let me feel like it's the first time, princess.' Jungkook gently nudged Jimin. The older, still in a daze, slowly walked towards the stage. Jungkook followed.

 

Jimin stood on stage and sighed. He'd never been this happy before.

 

Jimin let the words flow out. They felt so foreign yet so familiar. It felt like two completely different people having a deja vu.

 

 

I wish that I had known in

That first minute we met

The unpayable debt

That I owed you

'Cause you'd been abused

By the bone that refused

You and you hired me

To make up for that

And walking in that room

When you had tubes in your arms

Those singing morphine alarms

Out of tune

They had you sleeping and eating and

And I didn't believe them

When they called you a hurricane thunderclap

When I was checking vitals

I suggested a smile

You didn't talk for a while

You were freezing

You said you hated my tone

It made you feel so alone

So you told me I had to be leaving

But something kept me standing

By that hospital bed

I should have quit but instead

I took care of you

You made me sleep and uneven

And I didn't believe them

When they told me that there

Was no saving you.

 

Jungkook let out the breath he didn't know he was holding.

 He missed Jimin's voice.

One pill, two pills. A few pills isn't going to kill him.

_

III.

The dust rose around the Impala, the paint now peeling. Jimin felt as though his trachea was positively going to be clogged the next day. He hesitantly raised the tips of his fingers into the desert air. Slowly but surely, he let his entire hand out, savoring the feeling of the warm air.

Jungkook smiled. The car came to a stop at a petrol pump, Jungkook in desperate need of some food.

'Want something?' Jungkook asked, while unbuckling himself. 'Those sweet things you get in the giraffe bottle?' Jimin replied, still too busy with trying to get the dust off his pants.

Jungkook walked as quickly as he could, paid for his items and walked out just as quick. He walked towards the car door, his hand slipping into the handle, when he heard a crack of pills against plastic. His hands involuntarily slipped into his jean pocket, fishing out the sickening yellow bottle of what was Jungkook's ambrosia.

The pills were begging him.

One pill isn't too bad, right? Two?

He quickly slipped a few into his mouth, dry swallowing before getting into the car, seemingly normal as ever.

_

'Kook. Were you even listening?' Jimin asked.

'Huh? I'm a little distracted. We haven't booked a hotel, have we?' Jungkook easily lied, hiding the fact that the pills were gradually working their haze into his brain.

'Baby, don't worry. We'll be just fine. I just want to spend time with you.' Jimin smiled while looking out. Jungkook felt the snake of guilt swirl in his stomach. He didn't reply.

When it happened, Jungkook could barely register what was happening. It wasn't beautiful or tragic as the movies and books thought them out to be. The world around you didn't slow down. It was fast, head-on and searing.

The Impala swerved trying to avoid the oncoming truck only to be met with an enormous rock, buried in the sand on the side of the road. Jimin was screaming, he was crying for him to slow down, stop. But Jungkook couldn't do anything. A small voice was whispering in his ear to keep going.

It wasn't until a few seconds later, that they crashed into the steady rock. Solid and waiting. The impact was instant, a sickening sound of bending metal and shattering glass. The car toppled, the old car screeching in agony. Jimin covered his eyes, tears lacing them. His mouth was open in a silent scream. But the rest, for Jimin, was a void. A less than blissful oblivion.

Jungkook climbed out of the deformed car, his senses finally having come to hit him. He hoped and prayed to anyone who would hear him that Jimin was safe. That Jimin wasn't bruised. Jimin. Jimin. Jimin.

He opened the passenger's side, blood immediately flowing on to the dry sand and empty tarmac. He pulled Jimin out with a sense of urgency. A need to know if he was alright. Jungkook never liked to be wrong. This time, he was.

He held Jimin to his chest and cried, the least he could after having shouted his lungs out for help.

Truth be told, Jungkook stopped crying after a while, a numb pain taking over his body.

His fingers were bloody but his mind was clear. His heart was hurting but his eyes, free of tears. He whispers I love you and hoped that Jimin hears.

_

The porcelain figure sat on the worn out garden chair, his fingers raking through the slender palm leaves. The wind was loud, leaves floating down.

This version of Jimin closed his eyes.

_

Jungkook walked with Jimin into the store. Jimin couldn't see, a blue sheet of blindness fitting snugly over his eyes. Jungkook pushed the trolley while he guided Jimin with the other hand, careful not to bump into anything.

Jungkook let him stand in the middle of the aisle while the former went to pick out the food required for them.

One drop of blood. Two drops of blood. The white linoleum was bound to get stained. This Jimin didn't feel anything. He simply slumped backward and Jungkook ran to catch him. He slowly dragged him out of the store, cursing under his breath.

This was the seventh attempt that had failed.

As soon as he got home, he wrapped the lifeless, Jungkook laughed at the word, body in plastic and threw it in the tent. The plastic scrunched sickeningly as it landed on the other six bodies. All of Jimin. All had failed.

He just had to try again tomorrow.

_

The yellow light hurt Jungkook's eyes yet he stayed put. Hands moving swiftly across the pages, lines and diagrams crawled around the paper. He had to find a way to breathe life into Jimin.

Since Jimin, his Jimin, had left him alone on the hot tarmac, sand staining his clothes, Jungkook started something new. For Jimin.

He started to create mutations of Jimin. Each one looking exactly like him, but none, him.

Either they were blind, or couldn't hear. They couldn't speak, they couldn't move.

But Jungkook kept trying. Everyday a new one. Everyday he failed.

The bottle of pills sat on his table, Jungkook not having touched it once since-

Since.

He threw his pen, hitting the bottle pills. It toppled onto the floor and Jungkook smiled. He slowly got up, the muscles of his back cracking. Turning around, he caught sight of the large aquarium like tanks, each filled with a different version of Jimin floating in a liquid.

His eyes burned but he couldn't do anything now.

He just had to try again tomorrow.

_

But you never came around, never came around, never came around.

_  

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