If it rains on the day you break up, her mother would say, you will have bad luck the rest of your life. Chaerin’s mother believed in that kind of stuff, good and bad luck, which signs and blood types should be together and which were doomed to be. And if it rains the day you meet the one you’ve never dreamed of, that one is who you’ll spend forever with. Chaerin always let her mother talk her nonsense, never giving into it. She was stuck in some really old ways, but she meant well. But she didn’t know anything.

  She had Kwon Jiyong, and they were destined to be together. Forever. Rain or no rain. 

   But out of habit, as she got ready to meet with him, Chaerin pulled back her curtains to check the weather. The sun was glaring gold in the center of a baby blue sky. Not a single cloud hung above, nor a single sign of rain. Come to think of it, Chaerin couldn’t remember there being a single day it rained when she’d met with her GD. That’s how perfect they were, that everything, down to the weather agreed with them being together. Chaerin wouldn’t argue with nature, rather she’d cooperate with it.

Because her and Jiyong would be together forever.

    There was no other one for her. Jiyong was the one.
    After the MADE promotions had finished, Jiyong had promised that they would spend a whole day together with absolutely no distractions. No schedules, no training, no rehearsal. Just the two of them. But the promotions had ended months ago, and they’d still been so busy. Chaerin tried to be cooperative, but she was growing desperate from missing him. It drove her crazy that she even had to go a full day without even so much as a text from him. She’d been waiting for this date for what’s felt like forever.
    Oppa, are you waiting for me? Chaerin texted, adding a cute cat with heart eyes. 
    She put her phone down, determined not to be one of those girlfriends who wouldn’t even breathe until their boyfriends texted back, and went back into her closet. Admittedly, her ears were pricked, waiting for the notification of his reply as she fumbled through her shirts for the thousandth time. Chaerin had no clue what to wear. What would Jiyong like her in? How many seconds had it been since she’d sent that text message?
    Finally, after a century having crawled by, her phone chimed where she’d thrown it on the bed. Chaerin launched herself across the room and flopped down on her bed, fumbling through the pattern lock to get inside and read the text. Already, she was smiling like an idiot. She’d promised herself to never change for any man, but Kwon Jiyong had made her into a fool. 
Waiting. Meet me at the Han Bridge in fifteen minutes. There’s something I need to tell you.
The message was so cut and dry. No heart eye emojis or kissy faces or winks. No squiggly lines or doodles. Chaerin felt her heart deflate for a second, but perked up immediately after, chasing the foreboding away as quickly as it came. At least she got to see her Jiyong-ie. 
Refusing to spend a second longer debating what to wear, Chaerin decided on a white crop top and black high and low skirt over gold gladiator sandals. It was already July in Seoul, and it was hot. Really hot. She whipped her hair up into a perfect messy bun and put in some big gold hoop earrings that glanced her neck whenever she moved her head. She sprayed lightly on her wrists the perfume that Jiyong had given for their one year anniversary, then walked out of the house.
She should have thrown an umbrella in her bag…
    Jiyong was waiting for her at Han Bridge just like he said he was. He was dressed in grey jeans that were ripped at the knees and shins, a red tank top and black commander boots. His head was shaved. The last time she’d seen him, his hair was like cotton candy, pink at the roots, blue at the tips. It was odd seeing his hair like this now. He loved change, hating to hold to one trend. A shaved head seemed so permanent in a way. Chaerin became nervous and she couldn’t understand why.
    “Oppa!” She called over the traffic behind her. Jiyong turned his back to the bridge and leaned against it. His lips just barely formed a smile when his gaze found her's. “Were you waiting for me very long?”
    “Not at all.” He said as she threw her arms around his neck, pressing close enough to be inside of him.
    Something was off.
    Whenever Chaerin had embraced him in the past, Jiyong would always loop his long arms around her waist, squeezing her until she thought she’d might burst in his arms. If she could be inside of him and he inside of her with one embrace, they would be. But now, something was different. As Chaerin squeezed him close, Jiyong’s hands barely brushed her waist. He was barely hanging on to her. She pulled back just enough to look him in the face. His dark eyes were cloudy. “Oppa, what’s the matter?” She demanded. “Are you sick?”
    He looked down at their shoes, and shook his head. “Chaerin-ah, I need to tell you something.”
    With her arms still around his neck, she nodded, urging him on. “Okay, tell me now. What do you need to tell me?”
    “Chaerin-ah,” he called. He finally looked up at her, and the man behind his gaze, Chaerin didn’t recognize. Furthermore, she didn’t want to know him, because it wasn’t the man she loved. She was scared of the man behind these eyes. “I think…Let’s break up.”
    It was as if her heart and her lungs had exploded inside her all at once, the boom deafening her. The words broke her from the inside out, and she was surprised that she was even still standing. Maybe it was because she’d tied her arms around her neck. Maybe it was because she didn’t want to let go. Even so, she felt her arms slide out from around him, falling heavily to her side. Where was she? What did say? Everything was a mess and she couldn’t think straight. Her head began to spin.
    She looked up at him, finally. “What did you just say?”
    “I want to break up.”
    Blink. Blink. “Why? Why do you want to break up? Did I do something wrong?” she demanded. “Tell me, oppa, and I’ll fix it.”
    “Chaerin, there’s nothing to fix,” Jiyong said, stubbornly. “I’m enlisting in the military. I’ve extended my draft as far as I can, so I have to go. I want to cut all my loose ends before I leave.”
    “Loose ends?” Chaerin felt anger bloom in her already broken heart. “Am I a loose end? Go into the military. I always knew that someday you would have to go. So, go. I’ll wait for you. I’ll be here when you get back.”
    “Am I asking you to wait for me, Chaerin-ah?” Jiyong bit out. “I don’t want you to wait for me. I don’t you here when I get back.”
    “Why? Tell me why? You can’t just cut me off without even an explanation?” Her voice had become shrill now. Chaerin could hear it in her own ears, but what could she do? Tears were stinging the back of her eyes, and it was just so damn hot out here. “Why?”
    Jiyong looked down at her, and just this one time, she discovered what true hate felt like because she hated him. She hated that he was looking down at her like she was stupid, like she should see why things were over. She hated that he could say these things and his voice still sounded so steady, like his heart wasn’t wavering at all. 
    “Chaerin-nie, this year was fun and all, but it wasn’t going to last. I knew that, didn’t you? You know how crazy our world is. How could we have possibly made it work?” he demanded. “We had some good times together, but now it's time to move on. Don’t you think?”
    “Good times? Move on?” Chaerin wanted to run away, but only after having killed him and thrown his worthless body in the river where no one in the world would ever think to look for him. “Did I know it wasn’t going to last? No, I didn’t. I didn’t know at all, because for me, we were forever. How could I be so stupid?”
    “Don’t say it like that,” Jiyong pleaded, reaching for her hand, holding it firm. He neither pulled her forward or pushed her away. “You’re not stupid. I don’t think you’re stupid.”
    “I must be. Because this whole year, you’ve played me like a fool.” Chaerin ripped her hand free from his grasp. “Geokjeonghajima, Kwon Jiyong. This good time we had? I’m ready for it to be over. Consider this loose end cut.”
    It was over? Fine. They were through. Chaerin wouldn’t waste another minute, another second on him. Her time was precious, and he obviously had no care for it. So, on her heel, she turned her back to him, and walked away. She didn’t once turn back, because it was over, and she didn’t want him to see her cry. As much as she didn’t want to cry, she couldn’t pretend that the last year of loving him hadn’t happened. Was she nothing more than a good time for him in between promotions and schedules? The thought hurt her.
    “Yah, Lee Chaerin!” Jiyong yelled out after her. She didn’t stop, only kept walking. She didn’t have a particular destination in mind. She only knew she had to get away from him, away from this place. “Lee Chaerin!”
    He called for her, but he didn’t run after her. He didn’t try to hang on to her.
    That’s right, Chaerin-ah, she thought to herself. It’s really over.
    So she kept walking, and walking. And when he stopped calling for her, the sky opened up and rained like it was the end of the world. And in a way it was the end of the world, her world. Now that she thought of it, Chaerin had pathetically let Kwon Jiyong become her everything. Now that he was out of her life, she had nothing. And she had no one but herself to blame for not saving even a little bit for herself.
    
After a while, she didn’t even know how long she’d been walking, or where she was, or where she was going. Tears fell from her face incessantly, but she felt nothing, as she was already numb. Good time? Loose ends? The words replayed over and over in her mind, and she wished everything would go quiet so that she could think.     
    She ended up in a busy market square, cars whizzing by at every which angle. She pressed the button at the cross walk, waiting for the little man to appear for her to walk across, but she grew impatient. Chaerin dared a car to hit and kill her. Her blood would be on Jiyong’s hands. She wanted guilt to eat him alive, consume him until he couldn’t make music, until he couldn’t perform, until he couldn’t live because of what he’d done to her.
    So, she crossed the road. Still she didn’t know where she was going. Hopefully nowhere, because one of these cars were bound to hit her. She’d die and she’d be free from this all consuming pain pummeling her heart. Chaerin heard the blare of the horns, heard the screeching of tires, heard the cursing of irate drivers, yet she blocked it all out. All she heard was Jiyong. Good times and loose ends. 
    A door opened, slammed. Then someone grabbed her wrist, shaking her to a stop. Chaerin was faced with a pair of intense black eyes and a deeper then deep voice. She knew him from somewhere, didn’t she? Right now, she didn’t know anyone. 
    “Yah, do you want to die?”