I slumped over the table letting out an exasperated sigh. This is pathetic. I don’t even know why I’m upset. I just feel so unsettled.

“Agh!” I let out an aggravated yell, but it didn’t help. I pulled myself off the kitchen table and lazily dragged my eyes over the room. Nothing seemed interesting, nothing entertaining. Nothing to keep my mind off this feeling of pure annoyance with the world.

“Hyung? Are you okay? I heard a scream, or something from in here.” I moved my eyes off the boringly-white ceiling above me to a confused Taemin standing in the door way.

“Yeah, fine.” I muttered and looked back to the ceiling. I heard him shuffle towards me, without moving my head; I gave him a side glance.

“Hyung, are you drunk? Your eyes look tired and glassy.” I sat up a bit straighter and shook my head at him.

“No! I’m not ing drunk.” I sighed again, I looked at him with an apologetic smile, or what I hoped was one. “I’m just not feeling well right now.”

“Is it your time of the month hyung?” Taemin said raising an eyebrow. I gave him an incredulous look. He raised his hands in defense.

“It’s the full moon moron.” Minho grumbled as he passed the kitchen door. Then crossed back over holding a chicken-leg stuffed toy – it’s actually a dog toy… they don’t make chicken toys for humans.

“Taemin, go give your tofu of a boyfriend this thing, he’s having a mental relapse.” Minho said is a tired tone, holding out the toy towards us with an impatient look, shaking it a few times to show he meant right now.

“Oh! Sure, yeah, okay. You take care of Kibum-hyung then okay?” Taemin took the toy from Minho and gave a big smile at the both of us.

“What’s wrong with you?” Minho asked leaning against the door frame, raising an eye brow. I’m so not in the mood. I turn my vision towards him giving him a sweet death glare. He wasn’t fazed.

“Not in the mood Minho.” I stated and turned back towards my ceiling.

“Well sorry.” He said, I heard the chair next to me scrape against the floor. “So, tell me, what’s wrong?” he said in a semi-nicer tone. I lifted my head off the back of the chair to look at him with tired eyes.

“I don’t know.” I said, he just stared at me. “! Minho, god! I don’t know!” I yelled, slamming my hands against the table standing up. I shuffled my way over to the counter and stared at the tiled wall below the cupboards. “I don’t know.” I whispered again. I looked at him over my shoulder, and he just sighed.

“Where’s Jjong-hyung?” he asked, my eye twitched. For some reason I wanted to hit something, but I settled for chucking a pot that was in the sink at the wall behind me. It smashed against the now-dented white wall, clanging to the floor, the silenced that followed was deafening.

“Ahh, I see.” Was all he said as I slumped to the floor, fighting back tears.

“Where is he?” he asked again, I looked up at him, squinting through the water threatening to spill.

“He’s out.” was all I could say. He knelt down beside me.

“What does that mean Kibum?” Minho asked rolling his eyes. I stood up.

“I don’t ing know Minho!” I yelled back at him. He didn’t blink. He just stood up and opened the cupboard pulling a blue box out. He shoved it against my chest and walked towards the door.

“Eat that, and shut up.” He called over his shoulders before exiting the room.

I looked down at the box in my hand, it was mac and cheese. Ha, ha. Very funny. I shrugged though, couldn’t hurt, I don’t think I’ve eaten in about a day anyway.

---

Before I knew it, I was sitting in front of the stove, leaning my back against the oven door shoving piles of mac and cheese into my mouth right out of the pot. Taemin had tried to come in and help me up, but I just threw a spoon at him and he gave up.

“Hyung, thank god!” I heard a muffled shout from outside the walls of the kitchen. “You’ve got to do something! I don’t know what wrong with him, I think he broke.” I figured it was Taemin yelling at Jinki about me. I stuck my tongue out at the general direction of where his voice was coming from. Bite me. I’m not moving.

“He’s not a toy Taemin, he can’t break.” I heard Minho say sarcastically back, the voices were louder now and I’m assuming they’re outside the kitchen doors. The knocked lightly.

“Kibum? We’re coming in.” Minho called through the door. I chuckled.

“Good luck with that.” I smiled to myself; I had barricaded the door with the table and chairs. I attempted to move the fridge, but that was too much work. They got the door open about an inch before the realized it wasn’t going to move and farther.

“What the f-” I heard someone grumbled before it clicked.

“Kibum-hyung? Kibum!! Kibum OPEN THE DOOR!” I could practically hear the frantic hand motions Taemin was doing while he yelled this. I laughed loudly.

“Leave me and my cheese alone!” I said; my voice in hysterics. All of a sudden everything was ing hilarious.

“Someone bust this damn door down!” Taemin screamed at whoever was with him. Someone banged on the door again. I shoveled another spoon full into my mouth.

“Why? Just let him be. He’ll come out in the morning.” I realized then that I had no idea what time it was.

“What time is it?” I hollered to them.

“It’s one A.M. hyung!” Taemin shouted back at me, then in a slightly lower voice he said; “Hyungs, do you realize we have a semi-psychotic Kibum in a room full of fully sharpened knives?” I giggled. Yeah, I’m so going to chop my off or something.

“Taemin, you’re over reacting.” Someone sighed, I couldn’t place the voice.

“Who’s outside my castle doors?” I yelled shoving another spoon into my mouth. It was cold by now, and I had no more in the cupboard. I had already eaten the other two. I chucked the spoon and pot into the sink, I’ll clean it later. I walked over to the door, or as close as I could get to it. I moved a chair out of the way to sit on the table, I needed more mac and cheese.

“Who’s outside my castle doors? Could they get me more mac and cheese?” I yelled again.

“Minho, Jinki-hyung, Jonghyun-hyung and me.” Taemin replied. I froze, blinked a few times, and started to move the chairs out of the way. Jonghyun was home?

I stopped myself, the only thing holding the door shut was the table now. I fixed my shirt, and hair then composed my face in a blank stare. I suddenly didn’t want to see them. I wasn’t in the mood. I was about to start moving the chairs back when the door started to crack open.

“He moved the chairs out of the way guys!” Jinki yelled. “Give me a hand!” suddenly the table started to slide towards me as they all started to push on the door.

I backed away in a panic; soon my back was against the fridge. I had nowhere to go. I didn’t want to face them anymore. I frantically looked around the room for a place to hide. I saw the window above the sink. I moved towards it then stopped, we where three floors up. Yeah, I’m so going to land that. Even though there is snow… No, no, I’m not risking my neck for this. But that gave me another idea.

I went to the window and opened it as wide as it would go and popped the screen off. I threw the screen out the window to make it look like I had jumped out. It thudded against the snow-covered streets, creating a white cloud above it for a few seconds. I turned around to see the door half-opened; they were going to get in any second. I lurched toward the cupboards across from the sink and squeezed myself inside.

I heard the table shove off and hit the fridge as they all stumbled in.

“Where the did he go!?” Taemin shouted.

“Omo! The window!” Jinki yelled; I presume they ran towards the sink.

“That son of a .” Minho mumbled in disbelief. Yeah, because I’d so totally jump to my death out a window. I’m just that cool. I cover my mouth with my hand, holding back giggles.

“He couldn’t have gone far, let’s go find him.” I heard three sets of feet run out of the room. One set was missing; I couldn’t place them in the room though. Suddenly the missing feet were walking towards my cupboard. I pressed myself as far back as I could to the wall, and swallowed hard. The door creaked open, and my eyes widened.

“Peek-a-boo.” I squeaked. In front of me was a disappointed-looking Jonghyun, staring at me in disbelief. He grabbed a hold of my arms and yanked me out of my hiding place. He held my arms at my sides in a tight grip.

“What the  Kibum! What the hell are you thinking?” he yelled in my face. My blood started to boil; I didn’t need this from him. I pulled free from his grip.

“Oh shut up Jonghyun!” I shouted back at him, he just glared back. “I’m so fed up with your !” I was flaming now, I swear, if it were possible, I’d have steam coming out of my ears.

“What the hell have you been doing all day!?” we were both yelling now, no holding back. “I’ll tell you what, you’ve been cooped up in this damn dorm, sitting in this kitchen like a psychotic lunatic!” I stared at him.

“Yeah! And you’ve been around town all day with some that called you at ing nine in the morning!” I was right in his face now; he could probably see that I was on the brink of tears. I sniffed; he stalled, and composed his face.

“I wasn’t around town all day Kibum. I was out with a friend, who needed my help, and we hung out afterwards.” He said, letting out a breath. I exhaled too.

“Then why did you just get home? It’s freaking one thirty in the morning!” my voice started to rise again.

“Did I not just say we hung out after wards?” his expression unchanged.

“Until one in the morning?” I asked raising an eye brow.

“I was with her and her father until dinner, and then we went shopping to clear her head, and then went to a late show. Sorry, I didn’t know I had a curfew.” He rolled his eyes at his last sentence. My brain wires snapped, I couldn’t take it. I walked right up to him and slapped him hard across the face. He recoiled and pressed his hand over the red mark mine had made.

I looked at his face, he expression I’m sure was a mirror of mine; pure shock. I can’t believe I hit him.

“I’m so sorry.” I whispered stepping back, trying to separate myself from myself. “I’m so, so, so, sorry.” I said again, even softer. He walked up to me, I walked backwards until I was pressed to the wall, and he was almost pressed against me. I turn my head away from him, squeezing my eyes shut in anticipation, when I received no smack in the face; I opened one eye slightly to see him staring at me, his face full of an emotion I couldn’t name.

“Look at me.” He said his voice strangely calm. I closed my eyes again; I couldn’t look at him right now. “Look. At. Me.” He repeated, more as a command than the time before. I didn’t move once again. He held my chin and forced my face towards him. I opened my eyes in shock. I stared into his eyes, unable to look anywhere else. They scanned over my face as if he was reading a book. He was looking for something.

 I suddenly wanted to cry, but I hoped I had more pride than that, enough to hold it in. I had no right to cry over him, he was never mine, never will be. But still, in my eyes, I was his, and he never cared to notice. He had every right to go parading around town with a pretty girl on his arm. I had no right to say anything to him. I sighed, closing my eyes, seeing no other way for our staring contest to end. He let go of my chin, but didn’t move. I hung my head; I had no strength in me to keep it up any longer.

“I’m sorry Jjong.” I said, before lightly pushing against his chest, trying to escape. He put his hand on the wall behind me, creating a cage around me. I looked at him, he eyes were blank, I couldn’t read them.

“You,” he began, “are a real idiot.”

He suddenly seemed closer than before. I could feel his breath brush against my cheeks.

“Jjong what are you doing?” I asked in a quiet voice, unable to get to a normal volume. He leaned closer – if that was even possible.

“I’m going to show you that what you’re thinking is wrong.”

And with that he kissed me. That’s right, on the lips, a full out kiss. It was soft, almost hesitant. I let my eyes close and I leaned into it a bit more, slightly, I didn’t want him to pull away, I just wanted more of him. He leaned into me, deepening the kiss, moving his lips against mine in a harmony.

I gripped the collar of his dress shirt, pulling him even closer. He moved his hands to the small of my back, holding me firm against his chest. I swung my arms around his neck, weaving my fingers into his hair. He pulled away; I let out a shaky breath, realizing what just happened. I looked down at the floor, my arms still around his neck, and his hands still on my back. Suddenly our shoes were very interesting.

“Don’t worry Kibum.” I raised my vision up to his lips, refusing to look him I the eyes. “You’re still my number one.” I went back on my word and stared him in the eyes. My mind went blank and I suddenly lost the use of my mouth.

“Don’t you ever think again that there is someone out there more important than you okay?” I my lips, trying to get them to move. “This wasn’t the way I wanted to tell you this, but you know, I love you.” My mouth fell open. I don’t even know what expression I was making. “More than a friend. Hope you don’t mind.” My brain went into over drive, and I smashed my lips against his again.

The heat in the room was suffocating me, but I didn’t care, I pressed myself closer to him, trying to get as close as humanly possible. I needed him. I needed him more than anything right now. I just needed him and I would be okay. Everything would be okay.

“I love you too.” I said between kisses. He chuckled.

“Yeah I figured.” I kissed him one last time before pulling away.

“How did this happen?” I asked breathing out, resting my head on his shoulders. he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me close.

“Well, I went out with a friend, you had a mental break down over mac and cheese, and I gave you a kiss to make it better.” He said with a cheeky smile. I hit him up-side the head.

“I meant, how did we end up falling for each other.” I clarified.

“Hey, best friends fall in love all the time. No matter how improbable, love always finds a way.”

“That was cheesy as hell Jjong.” I giggled, and lifted my head to look at him. “But I liked it.” He gave a lingering kiss, so sweet and soft. He had the sweetest taste.

“Speaking of cheese,” I said, pulling away before I got too carried away, “we’re out of mac and cheese. And I’m hungry.” I said pointing to the three empty boxes on the counter, “and unless you want me to eat you, I think we should go to the store.” He seemed to contemplate what I had just said.

“Well, if you ate me I couldn’t do this again.” He kissed me again. I smiled like an idiot.

“You,” I began, leaning my head against his, “are so cheesy.”