My hands tremble more
I’ll lose my focus shortly

I looked down onto my hands, trembling violently in the realization of what I had done. The tangy smell of iron filled my nostrils, hands covered in a sticky red substance. Blood. My head pounds. Let go of me! Yong Junhyung! Let go now! It hurts! Your voice echoed in my head.

Face beaded with cold sweat, hair tousled as if a hurricane had hit you, your trembling gaze locked with mine for a second, and the only thing that I could sense from your eyes : fear. Your beautiful lips, which I had once loved to kiss so much, was bleeding. Those eyes which I had loved to look into, was now bloodshot, tears streaming down your once jovial face. I had once promised you that I would never hurt you. But I’m afraid I can’t keep that promise much longer.

Why my broken legs are standing here
I can’t even remember, I become scared
Where are you, who has laughing until just now

I collapse to the ground. My head thrashes wildly. I looked around, scared. Where am I? What am I doing here? My legs hurt, like a bullet had went through it. Your laughing face enters my mind, and I start to panic. Where are you?

Help!!! You start to thrash wildly in my grip, legs kicking the air frantically. I slap you. Hard. A bruise forms on your flawless skin. “Please, Jun. This isn’t you. Seek help, please.” You choke out, wheezing after every word. A cold smirk forms on my face, your sincere words taking no effect on my hardened heart. I drag your struggling body along the cold, hard cement floor, scraping your knees heartlessly. In a futile attempt to weaken my grip around your wrists, you use the heels of your shoes to jab into my shin. I howl in pain, my cries echoing off the walls of the abandoned building.

Why have fun noises left me? You’re far away
Why is it getting dim? These scars are like shackles

The lights are dim in a random room of the building. Soft whimpers fill the lonely room. Just at the corner, hiding in the shadows, is you. My one and only love. Your wrists and ankles were in shackles, chained to the wall. Your once beautiful face, was filled with scars and burns. You look up at me with hatred and something else in your eyes – hurt. So now you know how to feel hurt? After all you had done to me? Eyes glassy, you beg me over and over again with your hoarse voice. Let me go. Just for a split second, I was brought back to reality, and I slowly shuffled over to free you. But then he took control again. The monster within me. I fisted your hair and yanked you upwards so I could caress your face. Your expression softened for a second, but then you felt the pain in your scalp, and started yelping helplessly.

Curse me, curse me for letting go
Don’t leave me, my collapsed heart
Don’t leave me alone, I’m screaming

I still remember, as if it was only yesterday, when you were cursing me for letting go of you. But I clearly remember… it was you who left me… You let go of my hand. You pushed me away. It was all you. But why were your eyes telling me otherwise?

I brandished the electric rod, earning a frightened look from you.

“Jun… Why are you doing this? Please, come back to your senses. This isn’t you!”

I cackled. “Of course it’s me, sweetie. Who else would it be?”

“And, why am I doing this? Why, I’m doing this because I love you.”

“This I not the way to show your love, Jun!” You yelled, gesturing to your shackles and the electric rod.

“And moreover,” Tears started welling up in your eyes. “You left me. You told me that you didn’t love me anymore, so why have you suddenly decided to show your love to me?”

I narrowed my eyes. “No, YOU are the one who left me.”

You shook your head. “Junnie, whatever you remember, it’s wrong. Please, believe me. You were the one who left me.”

“No!” I snapped. I pressed the electric rod to your thigh, earning a high-pitched scream.

“YOU left ME!” I snarled, pushing the rod against your beautiful flawless face, leaving burn marks and earning more screams.

“Don’t think that you can lie your way out of this!” I brandished the whip and harshly brought it down to your back, digging into the flesh.

You yelped, fresh blood flowing from the wound.

I brought it down once again, yelling out an insult before every hit. You were crying, but that wasn’t the only thing flowing.

The blood from your back had flown to the floor, forming a puddle. I smirked.

Want you, I want you like crazy
Your lips that left me shouldn’t love
Don’t love me, I threw you away

Or was it me all along, who wanted you, so much that I was going crazy? Jun, don’t leave me. Please. We can go through this together, your sickness. Let me help. Your voice echoed in my mind, a lost memory surfacing. I had a sickness? What kind of sickness? I leaned nearer to you, my lips ghosting over yours. I smiled, and they met. It was a soft kiss, unlike the others we shared. But it was filled with a passion stronger than anything. Love.

I used my fingers to lift your chin, so we could make eye contact. “I’m doing this because I love you. Never forget that.” Your pale lips lifted into a bitter smile. “If this is love, why did you throw me away in the first place?” 

All I wanted was simply to give you an endless love
I had no idea that more excessive love would strangle you

I took you from your home to prove my love to you, to keep you by my side always. But you refused. You struggled. So I had to chain you. I thought you would understand, but all you did was cry, and question me, asking me if I knew the true meaning of love.

Even the reason I love became a sin
The deep wounds slowly
Burnt up and turned to ash

I stormed into the room. Today will be the day where it all ends. Watching your sleeping figure, chained up on the other side of the room, I got angrier. How dare you choose sleep over spending time with me? I strode forward, grabbing you by the metal collar I had put around you, abruptly waking you up.

Your beautiful doe eyes, hooded with fatigue, looked up at me.

“J-Jun?” Your voice sounded scared. Why do you sound scared, Seungie-ah? I’m here. I’m here to protect you.

“You filthy-“, I slapped your cheek, “little-“, I slapped it again, “liar.” I slapped you yet again, effectively bruising you.

You looked at me, a wronged expression on your face. “Please, Jun. S-stop. What did I do?”

“You should know!” I spat.

“You lied about loving me. You said you loved me more than anything.” My voice was filled with hatred.

“I do.” You said gently.

“But no. You chose to sleep, rather than to spend time with me. You lied. “ I growled.

“Jun, it’s been five days. I can’t go five days without sleeping. Please Jun, try to understand.” You softly tried to reason with me.

“Why should I understand, when all you’ve done is lie to me?”

“I didn’t lie to you! I love you Jun. I always have, and always will.”

I shook my head in denial. “No. No. You’re a liar!”

“Jun, listen to me! Don’t let your sickness get the best of you. Please! I know you can fight him.” You pleaded, gripping onto the hem of my shirt.

A crazed laugh escaped my lips, which once used to whisper nothing but sweet nothings.

“You’re lying. Again. It seems like I can’t trust you anymore, can I, Seung?

“No, please Jun. I’m not lying. You have to trust me.”

I shook my head, with an evil gleam in my eye. “You’re a liar, Jang Hyunseung. And for that, you’ll have to be punished.”

I brandished the sharpened blade from my pocket, running my fingers along the edge, only to up the blood that oozed out.

You started trembling, eyes watering as you scrambled as far back as the chains would allow you.

“Please, I beg you. Don’t do this.”

“Why are you running, Seungie? Don’t be scared.” I strolled up to you and caressed your face.

“Please…” You let out a hoarse whisper.

“Remember, I’m doing this because I love you.” I leaned in to capture your lips in mine. Your lips, once sweet, were salty from the tears you were shedding. Without a second thought, I plunged the blade deep into your abdomen. I smiled as I heard you wheeze and gasp for breath. Your beautiful eyes looks at me with hurt. I kissed your forehead once more as  I dragged the blade upwards, hearing a sickening ripping sound coming from you.

“Jun… I love you.” You breathed your last breath as you closed your eyes, and never opened them again.

But to forget will be more painful than to lose it
As I kill my breath, I’m going to die
From the agony of goodbye
Bring it back to that moment
No… no. My hands trembled violently, staring at the blood that stained it, and then back to your motionless, bloodied body.

“NO!” I screamed in agony and regret, crouching down to your body, shaking you vigorously.

“Wake up, Seung. Wake up, please.” I started to sob, at the realization of my mistake.

I had killed the one I loved.

The only person I loved, and the only person who loved me.

“Seung, baby. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I whispered, caressing your still face, leaning down to kiss those beautiful lips of yours once again.

“You promised that you would never leave me…” I your hair.

I knew what to do.

You were my reason for living.

And since you’re gone, I have to reason to live anymore.

I clutched the blade, your blood still dripping from it.

I scooted over to crouch next to you, and plunged the blade deep into my abdomen, stabbing myself countless times, until I collapsed on the floor, gasping for breath, as you did. I lay next to you, feeling my life slip away from me just like that, before muttering my final words.

I’m coming. Wait for me.

Don’t throw me away

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Hi guys!

If you all didn't understand this, it's actually saying that Junhyung has a mental illness, something like bipolar disorder, and he had actually left Hyunseung, or rather, his impulsive side left him. But what he remembers was that Seung was the one who left him, which isn't the case. So he becomes really unreasonable and whatnot, but he isn't strong enough to suppress the monster within him. Therefore resulting in Seung getting hurt.

Please support my ongoing fic!

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/92039/paradise

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Or at least let me know how i did!

I have other oneshots, mainly beast's junseung, so please check them out!

Thanks!