“If you were fine before he happened, then you will definitely be just as well without him.”

Joohyun was red and slumping wasted in her seat when she declared it. Had she been sober, she would never spoke upon those words.

For clearly she knew, there was never time in Chaewon’s life that Heo Joon was not around.

He was there when she was born, clutching his mother hand in the corridor of the hospital as her mother struggled between life and death.

“Has the little baby come out?”

It was his eleventh question that dawn.

A crying voice rang out from the delivery room, and his mother finally turned to him with a joyful smile.

“Yes, Dear Son.”

Her father ran in at seven in the morning and was welcomed by his excited exclamation and rushing small hands pulling him toward the nursery room.

“Samchun! Samchun! Look! There she is, the pretty little sister!”

“Yes, Joon-ah, and her name will be Chaewon.”

Since then, there were never days where he did not speak of her name. Three years old Heo Joon woke up with question of whether he could meet little Chaewon immediately. Three years old Heo Joon went to bed telling his mother the plans he wanted to do with the infant for the next morning.

Her early childhood memories consisted of her parents, grandparents and Heo Joon together with his family. One of the images that she could obtain clearly was her four years old self crying tantrum because Joon was getting into elementary school and she wanted to follow.

She was an only child, furthermore one that had been waited to arrive for a long time. She was spoiled at that time, her wishes were bounded to be fulfilled.

Her father moved her to a preschool next to Joon’s elementary school. The little boy waited for her to go together in the morning, seek for her in his break time and took her back home safely. She followed him around, into the same elementary school, middle school and high school. In summary, they always stuck around each other.

The first time she realized her feeling for him was in high school. She was in the end of her freshman year and he was in his third year of high school (she was born early in the year that was why she got to get into school earlier than the people that were born in the same year). His graduation was followed by a prom party and he appeared with one of his classmate in a blue dress. They danced together, stayed together through the night, laughing, whispering closely.

She was standing a few feet away, as a part of the school committee organizing the event, sensing her tears threatening to come out. The night she understand that Heo Joon was not just a brother to her was also the night she knew the feeling was not mutual. Because the look he shared to that girl was different from the way he looked at her. Also, because for the first time in her life, Heo Joon failed to notice her being around.

Heo Joon said she was being strange after that day. When he went over to her house the morning after the prom, she didn’t come out from her room like she usually did. Assuming that she was tired from all the work she had to do in preparation of the event, he left just like that.

But, around a month later, he grasped that something was out of its place. He was busy with the college entrance before it took him so long to be aware of her ceasing messages. She used to bother him day and night with random messages and requests. As he checked his flipped phone, it stopped right on the afternoon before the prom party. He thought about it and realized they had not seen each other outside the family dinners.

It was Sunday and she was out with her friends. He waited in the front yard and the look on her face when she saw him as she came in through the gate confirmed it for him that they were not fine.

“Chaewon-ah, do you want to get some ice cream with me?”

She was silent the whole time as they walked in the neighborhood heading for the convenience store on the next block. She still didn’t say a thing even as they walked back eating the cold sweets.

“Chaewon-ah, is there something bothering you?”

He finally asked nearing her house, and got a shake of the head as an answer.

“Then why are you not talking to me?”

She stopped in her place and looked back at him.

“Oppa, are you going out with Yeonhee Unnie?”

Heo Joon looked a little bit startled by the sudden question, but the quickly it changed into a spread of smile. An idea was clicking in his head.

“Eyy, don’t tell me you’re jealous of her? Is that why you have not talked to me at all for the past month? Aigoo, you cute little thing, still acting like a kid when you are already this big. You don’t have to worry, Yeonhee knows that you are my precious little sister. She won’t steal me away from you.”

Chaewon swallowed hard the urge to tell him the truth, to confess her real thoughts and feeling. It was at the tip of her tongue for a second until a voice screamed in fright inside her head. She thought wouldn’t be able to deal with the consequence.

It was buried just like that. She tried to act normal around him and soon, he was moving to Seoul to start his high education life.

She was twenty five at the moment, and Joon was a groom-to-be at twenty eight. He was marrying Yeonhee, his high school sweetheart after almost nine years of on and off relationship.

It was just as she had predicted. She knew it would come to the point somewhere along the line. Joon was loyal. He had never had anyone before Yeonhee, and he never had any other girl during their breakups.

Chaewon inhaled a deep breath. It was less painful now, she even helped him with the marriage preparation. Just, the feeling was still there, the silent wish to stand in Yeonhee’s place.

Chaewon repeated Joohyun’s words in her head, with an adjustment.

If I was able to pull through these nine years just fine, I will be just alright for the rest of mylife.

“He will be a married man by tomorrow, and I won’t be silly enough to bear a hidden feeling for someone’s husband.”

She had chanted, to the reflection in her bedroom mirror.

.

Joongki smiled sheepishly, at the bouquet in his hand. It happened just like that, in between all the euphoria someone pushed him to the crowd and out of nowhere, the bride’s bouquet was in his hand.

There were grumbles, whines, someone curse just a little bit loud and his friends cheering.

“Guys, we’ll get to see the womanizer walk down the aisle anytime soon!” Inkyung announced as he got back to the table.

“Ya! Watch your words, people will think it’s real.”

“I’m just telling the truth, Man!”

“I only take what’s given to me. They are the ones who throw themselves at me, as a gentleman I am, I should receive it gratefully.”

He threw the bouquet upon his laughing friend.

“So, Lee Inkyung-ssi, you can take the bouquet and I will go get some drink and probably the girls.”

He strolled to the side of the garden where food and beverages were laid out neatly. Not really feeling the food, he went for the champagne.

A bundle of pink dress knocked him in the leg causing the liquor in his hand to spill. Some of it spattered on the table and some dampened his shirt.

“Jinkyung-ah, aigoo, that’s okay but next time be more careful, okay?”

He looked down to the source of the voice. A woman in peach dress was kneeling in front of the bundle of pink dress that was actually a little girl around the age of two or three.

The woman looked up and their eyes met in a passing second. She smiled at him, holding the little girl closer, trying to appease.

“I’m really sorry,” she said, turning the toddler around, “Jinkyung, say sorry to the uncle here. Uncle, I’m really sorry.”

He didn’t like wet clothes but he would never fume to a child, above all when she looked like a ball of cotton candy with chubby cheeks.

“That’s okay.”

She stood up bringing the girl Jinkyung into her arms, her eyes inspecting the wet spot on his shirt.

“I will pay for the dry cleaning expense, just leave me your contact details,” she offered sincerely. It didn’t look like a cheap one he was wearing.

He dismissed it though.

“Nah, there’s no need.”

She gave him a grateful smile for not making a big deal out of it (because some crazy people did it these days). She conveyed an appreciation and left with the little girl afterwards.

It would be just a random coincidence with no meaning in his life if he didn’t see her again later that day. The bride was his colleague at work and they were taking group pictures with all the people from the office when he noticed her across them staring at the groom in a way that was too familiar for him not to notice. He got it often from some of his past flings when he told them they couldn’t go any further.

Just, they were most often emotional, while this woman strangely gave off a somewhat too calm atmosphere for a broken hearted one.

As he approached her that afternoon, he told his self, he was just being curious and he would think about the consequence of trying to play around with a broken soul later.

“Sorry, Miss, I think I need the dry cleaning offer.”

.

She thought it was a bit weird of him to go back on his own words, but, well, there was nothing wrong with him asking for it. It was indeed her fault in the first place, for not keeping a better care of Jinkyung.

“Just let me pay for it,” Minyoung, Jinkyung’s mother, Heo Joon’s cousin told her.

“That’s okay, unless he charges me with a big amount, I’ll pass it to you then,” she joked.

He did charge her with some ridiculous amount though, not money, but her time. At that time, she didn’t know that it was just an excuse. He asked her to drive him somewhere because he didn’t bring his own car. She agreed because it was on the same direction to her next destination, but then he told her to wait as he dealt with some matter. She thought maybe he wouldn’t be long and he was going somewhere in the same direction again, so she obediently did as she was told. When he got back inside the car again, she was expecting him to tell her that she just had to drop him nearby and it would be the end, but he said he was starving and wanting her to grab a meal together.

“Excuse me, you know you’re being unreasonable, right? This might sound rude but our issue was done the minute I paid for the bill. Why am I being drag around like this?”

“I still have an issue though, Moon Chaewon-ssi,” he trailed, the name was written on the business card she handed him on that wedding part, and he just liked how it rolled smoothly on his tongue. “I’m attracted to you.”

It wouldn’t be easy, he was well aware of it. She might be angry, she might be telling him off, she might think he was a psycho or she might even do some harm to him.

But, out of all things, she was laughing. It was not loud, just her quiet breath and shaking shoulders. She was bending until her forehead touched the steering wheel, and when she looked at him again, her eyes were misty and her lips curled up in a sarcastic manner.

“That is so lame. You’re going too far to milk it out just from a small mistake. You don’t look like someone who would take a benefit out of the situation.”

“Watch out, that’s a bunch of assumption and judgment.”

He watched amused at her ability to conclude that he was after her money. Why asked for a mere meal if it was his intention?

“I’m serious. You caught my attention on that day, and I’ve been thinking of you since then. This is my effort to make a move on you.”

She was at loss of words. In that moment of shock, she just looked at him silently and he enjoyed the opportunity to take a good look at the woman in front of him.

She was pretty, he decided. Not exceptionally pretty though. There were a lot of girls that went out with him in the past that were far prettier than her; but her look was not that boring one, not that same sculpted face he found in the street. Her nose was not high, but the proportion was just right for her whole feature. Her eyes shaped like an arc even when she was not smiling. The edge of showed that it must be smiling a lot in daily basis.

She was pretty, he restated in his mind.

“I never tried to catch anyone’s attention that day, and I don’t think I like that move you’re making,” she finally made a word.

“You’ll never know if you don’t try,” he countered.

“I don’t think I want to try.”

“I want to.”

She ran a hand through her hair, frustrated at the man she barely knew.

“Look, I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing right now and I don’t want to know or get involved in it. So, you can leave my car right now and I hope we don’t have to see each other again.”

He smiled defeated, but still with no intention to back down.

“If you change your mind, you know my number, just leave me a message. I’m looking forward to seeing you again, Chaewon-ssi.”

.

Heo Joon called her over to his newlywed house a week after that incident. She was going to come up with an excuse but the man beat her first.

“Chaewon-ah, you’re not working on the weekend and I know your parents are going hiking that day so you won’t be going back to Daegu. I’m not accepting ‘no’ as an answer.”

So, she went over.

Yeonhee showered her with gifts they got from their honeymoon in Maldives. They were half through the pictures and Yeonhee was showing her the summer dress they got for her when the bell rang. Heo Joon got to the door and went back in with the face she saw right a week ago.

“Sunbae-nim,” Yeonhee stood up, reaching for the documents the man had brought, “thank you so much. I didn’t know how I would survive if I really lost these.”

She was deeply deliberating whether to pretend like that was their first time meeting each other, but he was grinning from ear to ear. Not to Yeonhee’s direction, but to hers.

“We meet again, Chaewon-ssi.”

Yeonhee and Heo Joon stopped in their track to the kitchen, looking at each other questioningly at the casualty of his tone.

Chaewon felt like burrying her face inside her palms, but she held in.

“Do you guys know each other?” Heo Joon asked in a doubtful manner. He knew each of friends Chaewon had, and as long as he remembered, she knew no one from his wife’s workplace.

Maybe she had gone crazy, but Joongki seemed like he was beaming even brighter.

“Yes, we met at your wedding. Is she your sister?”

Heo Joon smiled warmly at the mention of it.

“She is. I changed her diaper when I was four years old.”

“You don’t look alike though?”

He laughed.

“Of course, we don’t. Our parents are best friends. They live next to each other, and we basically grew up together. Chaewon is an only child, and I myself only have an older brother. She is our precious one and only little sister.”

Chaewon squirmed in her place, wishing a hole would appear on the floor and swallowed her.

“Oppa, why are spilling my personal story without my consent?”

“Ya, is that yours only? That is mine too. Aigoo, she’s just really stubborn at times, you see.”

Joongki chuckled and Chaewon felt like punching him on the face.

“Yes, I get what you mean,” he sneered.

.

“You like him.”

It took her around three seconds to fully digest the words she just heard before she turned to him fast and sharp. She could feel her escalating heart beat and the fear that crept up inside her head.

“Why are you being so surprised? With the way you stare at him all the time, it’s a wonder how he and Yeonhee fail to notice it.”

The heavy breath she let out was shaky as her gaze shifted to her lap. From the corner of her eyes, she caught a glimpse of the couple walking back towards their table.

“That’s none of your business, so just keep your mouth shut.”

She groggily reached for the glass of water in an attempt to ease herself.

“Go out with me. I’ll make you forget about him.”

Her reflex worked faster than her brain and in a swift moment he was wet from head to his lap. The water in her glass was gone.

Heo Joon and Yeonhee who just arrived from the buffet tables to get more food gasped loudly at the sight. Chaewon too was taken aback at her own action, not believing she actually had the nerve for that. Then, the embarrassment built up. She was not proud of her emotional act. Gathering her stuffs, she fled the scene, not once looking back.

Heo Joon was going to run after her, but Joongki caught his hand.

“I’m really sorry,” he shared a look at Yeonhee, “I said something that offended her. Let me take care of it.”

He lost her just by a few seconds though. She was already inside the elevator going down when he got out of the restaurant. Her car sped by him when he reached the parking lot.

She cursed her self over and over again on the way back to her flat. Him being Mr. Know It All irked her so much, also adding the fact that he acted and talked whatever way he wanted. She was edgy when he stated the truth, and turned furious at how arrogant his words were.

Who was he to bargain on her heart?

However, tossing water at him was not a good choice. It shouldn’t be on the option at all. Now, she had the obligation to see Heo Joon and Yeonhee, to explain, and him, to apologize.

.

She had called the couple the night of the incident day, explaining shortly that she had some issue with him and that their previous meeting was not a pleasant one. She tried not to lie, so she left out the details they didn’t have to know.

She was sorting out some way to settle the issue with him, weighing the right time to carry it out. But he was faster than her this time, seeing how he stood in front of her office the next afternoon when she got off work.

Oh crap, she forgot he had her business card that contained her office address.

“I’m sorry for offending you with my words.”

He outdid her once again as they sat across each other on the coffee shop a few blocks away from her office.

“Do you even know the mistake you’ve made?”

Yes, she was wrong for making a scene, but he was not right either. She was being cynical because he didn’t look like he regretted what he said.

“I’m not dense,” he countered, “but I meant every words I said. Go out with me.”

She knew better, not to touch her cup of latte, instead she was gripping hard at the arm of her seat.

“Mister, if you usually get women’s attention by being a jerk, I’m telling you it’s not working on me.”

She thought of leaving but he foresaw it and commanded her to stay seated, which strangely she obeyed again like the last time when he told her to wait.

He bended forward, eyes piercing at her brown beads.

“First, I never tried anything to get women’s attention. They come to me on their own will without me having to do anything. Second, I’m not being a jerk. It’s my way of talking, I just hate beating around the bush. So, I’m telling you once again, go out with me.”

She sat stunned on her seat, dumbfounded at how the man in front of her could be more annoying than he already was.

That moment, she decided, she hated his overflowing confidence and controlling drift.

Suddenly, she felt her energy draining out of her body. This ridiculous situation that happened because of one small coincidence.

 Chaewon heaved a sigh, looking at him straight in the eyes.

“Look, I’m sorry that my niece made you spilled the champagne on your clothes, but as we agreed on, I paid for the bill and I apologized, so it should have been settled. Also, I’m sorry for throwing water at you, which is wrong of me even though I was angry I shouldn’t resort to that kind of action.”

She paused, taking a rest, before continuing.

“You don’t know me at all, you have no right telling me what to do in relation to my personal situation that does not involve you. You can’t force your way to someone just because you feel like it. I’m not some toys you can play with just because you are bored and-”

“I’m not bored, I’ve told you, I’m attracted to you,” he cut in, making her frustration pent up even more inside.

“And what is the reason? Why are attracted to me, a stranger you saw once on someone’s wedding? Why is it me and not someone else? Why?”

It was shown to her how the confidence on his face disappeared slowly and swiftly, he looked lost, not finding the answer for the questions she brought up. He himself hadn’t think about it, in fact, he had never thought about it even once in his life. Why do you have to have reason or explanation to like someone?

Chaewon scoffed at his silence after a moment passed them by.

“See? You don’t even know the reason why, and how could you expect me to believe this is not just some game to you?”

Joongki swallowed hard. For the first time, he was at loss for words because of a woman.

“I guess this is the end. I hope we don’t have to see each other again in the future. I’ll be going.”

She gave him a small nod as a salute before rising from the chair, leaving him staring at her back that shifted further away.

.

His night was restless and his dream was full of her.

Inkyung said that he didn’t look like himself, like a dark cloud was hanging above him, and he had been rejecting the invitation to go clubbing.

.

Ten days passed and everything was back to its place for her. Joohyun was back to bugging her to go on a blind date, or to meet some men she knew, telling her it was the time to move on and never looked back. She was still the same though, saying that she liked her work the most now and she had no time for men.

On the afternoon of the eleventh day, a call came from the front office of her workplace, stating someone called Song Joongki was looking for her.

She told the receptionist, she knew no one that went by the name.

But he came again the next afternoon, and the next day on the lunch break, and the next day again and again. He kept coming until the security gave up sending him away and just left him standing alone in the lobby.

“I heard that a man has been waiting for you every day in the lobby. What is this? A secret affair I haven’t heard?”

Chaewon stopped spooning her soup, raising her head to look at Joohyun.

“How do you know?”

The woman snorted mockingly, flipping her long black hair.

“Darling, everyone in the office is talking about it. He has been doing that for two weeks already and you expect people not to know about it?”

Chaewon cursed silently.

“I don’t know your issue with him, but please solve it quietly between you two. If you intend to humiliate him, he got enough embarrassment for the rest of his life already. No one would be able to do what he’s doing unless they are genuine, you know.”

.

“How could you always come before the office hour ends? Don’t you have work to do?”

Joongki snapped from his reverie and looked up. Her off white blouse first came into contact with his eyes, followed by her shoulder length black locks and then her tired face.

Her eyes were friendly, no anger, no annoyance, just a hint of wonder.

“Well, our law firm doesn’t run as late as your office,” he answered.

She turned around and started walking towards the entrance, muttering things about him being a lawyer.

He left the wall he had been leaning in and followed her close behind. She greeted the security with an apologetic smile and they exited the building. They kept walking until some point near the guest parking lot, she stopped and told him,

“You can stop doing that.”

She found him hanging his head low, taking a moment, before meeting her eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

It didn’t match the image of him that she portrayed in her head after their short meeting. He was supposed to be confident, going around with so much sense of pride and ego. Instead, the man in front of her was diffident, looking uncomfortable. She knew it must have taken so much for him to put his pride aside.

“I know. If not, you won’t be waiting there for these past weeks.”

“I’m not going back on my words though, I like you and I want you to be with me.”

Her crack of laugh that followed after was wary, but also unguarded in a way. As expected of him, she thought.

“Have you found the reason?” she asked. Her eyes that were looking at him were gleaming with amusement.

“Yes, I have.”

A few of her colleagues passed by them and were obviously staring at the two people that had been a hot issue in the office. But, she didn’t care, because this man in front of her was funny in an odd way, and she had started to get curious.

“I can’t tell you right now though,” he continued.

Chaewon raised an eyebrow at him, strangely not doubting but still trying to check.

“Not because you haven’t found the reason?”

He denied right away.

“No, really, I might be brazen but I don’t lie. Go out with me and I’ll tell you when the right time comes.”

She squeezed her eyes in disbelief, at him and more at her own self because deep inside she could feel her self being swayed.

“Joongki-ssi, you know you’re being weird right? Normal people don’t do things this way. They usually go slowly, getting to know each other then asking each other to be committed.”

“I know, but it would waste so much time.”

She was thunderstruck.

“Mr. Lawyer, you really are making me speechless.”

“Go out with me,” he stated once again.

He was not even asking, he was demanding her. And she was starting to get really curious, how would this persistent man affect her life?

She already made her mind up as she threw him the last question.

“You’ll keep asking even if I say no, right?”

“Then, would you say yes?” he asked back.

She stared at him, purposely prolonging the silence, wanting to see his expression while he waited.

She took a deep breath, putting a straight face.

“Okay, yes! Just so you can see for yourself that this is not the right thing to do.”

But Joongki looked back at her with a poised beam and sparkling eyes.

“No, I’m going to show you this is the right thing to do. Even, this will be the best decision in your life.”

.

The news about the progress of their relationship status spread faster than she predicted. Two weeks later, Heo Joon called her as per Yeonhee’s request.

“You’re a grown up now, not that I can tell you what to do and what not, but I still hope you’ll be more careful. He is a man with lots of women around him.”

Chaewon laughed silently at her own self, mocking her heart that still swelled at the thought of his interest. But, then, she remembered Yeonhee, how kind she had been to her, and the feeling died down slowly.

“Thank you, Oppa, and you can tell unnie she doesn’t have to worry. We’re just getting to know each other, it’s nothing serious.”

It’s nothing serious.

She kept using that one sentence when someone close touched the topic. She said to Heo Joon, to Yeonhee, Joohyun and her mother who visited one night and caught her getting down from his car. 

Just, Joongki didn’t think the same.

He was invited by his past client to a launching party and he brought her with him. The moment they stepped inside the venue, she could feel eyes on them, many of it. Women’s stares. They were looking at him ecstatic, but soon their eyes turned into daggers when they spotted her next to him. It worsened as he scooted her closer, one hand resting on her waist.

“Are you trying to get me killed?” she whispered. Her voice sounded funny because she was talking without moving her lips.

“What?”

“Your aficionados and probably some past flings are murdering me with their eyes now.”

He chuckled.

“I’ll die in your place if they try anything funny.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Funny, Mr. Sweet Talker, and they’ll skin me alive after that.”

In between her insecurity about his devotees and her ego trying to prove that he was after all just a random playboy and she was his current play thing, she came to a realization instead. He was treating her just like how he always did, as they mingled with the other guests. But, she never knew he was always that attentive.

He never left her side for the whole night. He kept checking on her if anything made her uncomfortable and made sure she didn’t feel left out as he chatted casually with his colleagues. He looked at her eyes when they talked to each other, and lowered his head to listen to her better.

And, whoever they met, he introduced her as his girlfriend.

She failed to grasp it before because they hadn’t been in a similar situation before. They mostly spent the time with just the two of them, so she thought it was a given that he looked at her all the time as they conversed. And, oh, yes, they could actually talk to each other, real talking and not just some small chat.

Then it hit her, it was not nothing serious for him.

It was overwhelming, yet she felt something sneaking in, a warm feeling she hadn’t experienced in a long while.

When he dropped her by the door of her flat that night, she hesitantly stepped closer and ended up hugging him tight for a long time. The look on his face after she let go didn’t do her any good though, as his worried eyes searched her face and his considerate question threw her even further away.

“Hey, you okay? Want to talk?”

Chaewon was doomed.

.

“Yeonhee asked us to grab lunch together this weekend, want to go?”

The night breeze swayed her shoulder length hair softly. She raised her face up, enjoying the cold sensation of the spring air.

“Hmmm, do you realize that you have become less and less brazen these days? In the past you would always decided first and forcing your way with me, but now you keep asking for my opinion first.”

He sniffed at her ability to jump on topics.

“It’s because you rarely say yes to me. No, let’s just say you’ve trained me well.”

She opened her eyes and scratched his chin like he was some kind of puppy. He stopped her, catching the hand and naturally they were holding hands now.

“I’m totally okay with it, but we don’t have to go if you‘re not comfortable seeing your first love and his wife.”

He was not being cynical, she knew it and had gotten used to it.

“No, I’m alright. Tell them we’re coming.”

.

“She really can’t cook,” Heo Joon chirped, flipping the meat on the barbecue grill.

Chaewon snickered from her place, downing the cooked meat on the table.

“He knows,” she stated.

“It’s alright, I have enough money to hire a cook for our house later.”

The woman shot him a dirty look but it still wouldn’t stop the smile to form on her lips. While, Heo Joon and Yeonhee shared a meaningful look, alerted.

She cleared .

“Sunbae-nim, could you help with this? We need to get more meat from the fridge.”

Joongki rose up from his seat beside her and the couple walked off with Yeonhee pulling Heo Joon by the elbow.

“We still have a lot here though,” Joongki commented.

Chaewon tiptoed behind him, taking a peek at the row of beef turning brown.

“I’m not going to complain, the more the better,” she said, grinning.

He looked over his shoulder, meeting her eyes with affection.

“Aigoo, you pig, pretty pig.”

It earned him a slap on the back. She had never met someone as blunt as him, a person who made her stomach churned that she felt like squealing all the time. She didn’t hate it, but it just felt funny.

“Knock it off already!”

“What?”

“Those kind of words!”

“But you are pretty!”

Chaewon shuddered, giving him a ‘whatever look’ before she marched away.

“I’m getting some water,” she announced and ran away inside the house with a half-filled jug.

Heo Joon and Yeonhee’s newlywed house was lovely. It was not that big, with two bedrooms which was not too spacious but just enough for them to move around freely around the furniture. If you walked from the front door, a small corridor would lead you up to the living room and the kitchen across of it. Since Yeonhee loved gardening, they chose a house with a large front yard where they did barbecue that day in between Yeonhee’s blooming flowers.

Chaewon stepped inside, taking her flat shoes off and changed into the slippers. She walked leisurely now that she was out of Joongki’s sight, feeling her cheeks heated up from the remembrance.

“It’s been four months, it’s taking longer than my prediction. I don’t know, I still think it’s risky, it’s making me wary.”

She was really close to turn into the kitchen when she heard it. Yeonhee’s voice sounded intense that she stopped immediately on her spot. It didn’t seem the right time for her to appear, so she was considering leaving but her next words made her froze.

“Chaewon looks at him almost in the same way she looked at you. What if she really falls for him yet he is just playing with her? I’ve told you I haven’t seen him in a serious relationship before-”

The rest of Yeonhee’s words disappeared in the background as Chaewon’s mind went blank. It was as if someone dumped a bucket of ice water on her, but the coldness spread from her feet instead, to her stomach and finally her neck. Her hands gripping at the water jug hard until her knuckles turned white.

For all these time, she thought they didn’t know. She thought she was good at hiding it. But, they knew, they both knew about her one sided love toward him.

With extra effort, she forced her self to walk outside, trying not to make any sound. Joongki saw her closing the door and was waiting with a smile on his lips and another tease on his tongue, but she was pale and stiff.

She put the jug on the table and snatched her sling bag from the chair.

“Hey, what’s-”

“Please, take me away from here.”

From her voice and the look in her eyes, he knew she was holding back her tears. There was no more word needed, he could tell something must had happened for her to act like that.

“Wait in the car, I’ll them I have something urgent came up.”

When he got inside the car, she was leaning in the seat with her eyes closed. He put her seatbelt on and started the engine. First and most, they had to get away from there.

“Do you want me to get you back home?” he asked after they drove off for ten minutes in silence.

She was still leaning in her seat, but with her face siding to the window this time. She didn’t give him an answer for a long time, so he wordlessly brought her hand inside his as his way to tell her to take the time she needed.

“I don’t want to be alone,” she finally spoke, her voice sounded so small.

He tightened his holding hand, reassuring her, “I’ll stay with you.”

.

As he said, he brought her home and stayed with her. She sat on the couch and he moved around as if he was a frequent there, taking some water from the kitchen for her to drink so it would help her calmed down.

“I heard something I shouldn’t,” she started, closing her eyes again.

Joongki reached her hand and that was when she broke down with tears streamed down her face.

“They know, I don’t know for how long, but they know. Heo Joon Oppa and Yeonhee Unnie know that I loved him. They know yet they acted like they didn’t. They turn me into a fool.”

Joongki scooted closer and brought her into his arms, holding her really tight. Strangely, he understood what she felt at that moment as his heart squeezed for her, for the painful look on her face.

She cried without any noise, but her sob was making her shoulder shook.  

“This is so unfair, they should have acted like they know so I can put some distance. Yet, they treated me like a fool while I secretly enjoyed every chance to see him even with her being around.”

“I feel angry, yet I’m not sure if I should be angry. I hate the fact that they fooled me but on the other hand I know he would do this instead of revealing everything and putting our twenty years of sibling like relationship on the back burner.”

She pulled apart and leaned on the couch again. Her tears still run down her cheeks like a stream.

Joongki didn’t like the sight in front of him; that she was crying over some other man, but mostly because she was crying miserably. But, he let her and waited patiently until her sobs died down while patting on her back. When she finally stopped, she opened her eyes and looked at him sadly.

“This is really embarrassing.”

He reached for her face and wiped the strain of tears that felt sticky in her cheeks and some that was still wetting her eyelashes.

“You’re ruining such a pretty face,” he said.

She tilted her head, her left hand grabbing his right one to squeeze.

“I should be comforting you but no, I’m gonna be selfish and talk about myself. Do you know how jealous I am right now? I am here in front of you, I’ve been here for you for a while but it’s still hard for you to relax around him and you still shed your tears over something related to him. I’m jealous of that lucky bastard who gets to be with you for twenty five years and stole your heart on top of it.”

Chaewon swallowed a lump from his confession. It was not like she was totally blind about his feeling. She was unsure of what it was, but after being with him for some time, she had come to believe his words, that he was not playing around.

The apologetic look she gave him was the only thing she could do for now. Because, she was too unsure of her own. Him making his way around her life was something she appreciated these days, but her feelings for Heo Joon hadn’t disappeared completely. At this point, she thought to herself, was it right for her to receive his affection like that?

“Do you remember, you once asked me the reason why I was attracted to you just because of that short encounter on the wedding?”

She raised her eyebrows, waiting for him to continue.

“I found out a little bit later, as the image of you staring at him from a far reappeared in my head again and again. You looked really beautiful at that time, heartbroken yet in love,” he paused, drawing a small smile.

“You make me, for the first time, wishing for a woman to look at me in a certain way, in the way you looked at him. I’ll admit, at first, my motive was mixed up with the pride to prove that I could make this woman like me and forget her pain. But, now, I sincerely want to make you happy, and I believe it will make me happy too. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I won’t be jealous of any other men alive, not even Heo Joon. Because, at least, I’ll get to love you for the next fifty years ahead.”

Chaewon was at loss for words to say and any sound to produce. She knew, there was not even one word that he just stated that was not genuine. She could feel her heart bloomed at that, she should be happy, but it was also painful somehow.

She stared at him for a long time without saying anything. She took a look at his features; his high nose, sharp jaw, thin lips and arc eyes; swallowing every detail.

Then, all of sudden, she closed the gap between them and put her lips above his. Her eyes were closing as she gave him a peck before her hands found its way to cup his face. She kissed him softly, caressing her lips with him in a gentle way. When he finally snapped out of his shock, he accepted her readily, grasping her waist as he kissed her back.

Their lips moved against each other in a slow pace. Both of them lost in the moment, savoring every second of their first kiss. He nibbled on her lower lips, biting it lightly in turn. She sneaked her hands circling his neck, bringing them incredibly closer. The sound they made was ringing loudly in the room as they continued to crush each other lips.

At some point, they stopped and pulled apart, catching their breath. He opened his eyes and found her staring back. The confession blurted out without him knowing.

“I love you.”

Once again, they were back lips to lips. Their kisses grew more intense, their hands restlessly wandered around each other’s body. They stumbled on to the floor with her above him. It must had hurt when his back touch the solid material but why would he care with her inside his embrace, kissing him back with as much passion as his.

In between everything; her weight that rested on him and their tongue that danced together; the thought popped inside his mind. He didn’t want to have a life without her inside it. He couldn’t have the life without this woman with him.

“Chaewon-ah, marry me,” he declared, hands holding her face a few inch apart.

Her clouded eyes turned clear at the proposal, and she was pulled back to reality. He watched the look on her face changed, and immediately he knew the answer wouldn’t be one he liked.

She rose up from him, separating their bodies which a second ago were sticking to each other like her favorite rice cake. He followed her shortly after that.

They sat side by side on the cold floor.

“How cruel you are, attacking me with your kiss then rejecting my heart. Tell me, how are you gonna take responsibility?” he joked dryly, and as always, it never failed to bring a smile on her face.

“I was happy,” she started, “the time I spent getting to know you are like a ride full of thrill. Earlier, when you told me you love me, I got greedy. I thought to myself, ‘I like this man and I believe he will be able to make me happy’. But, I’m not confident if I can make you happy in return. For a moment, I wanted to be selfish and cling on to you, but that’s not the right thing to do when I haven’t sort out the feeling I have for someone else. So, let’s start over as friends.”

Joongki purposely let out a noisy breath.

“You’ve made up your mind and whatever I say won’t change it, right? Okay, let’s be friends,” he paused, “for now.”

“Joongki-sii-”

“What?” he cut in, “you can decide on the thing that you think is the right one for this situation, but I also have the right to decide about my own heart.”

She showed him a pleading look, but he was not buying it.

“Now, friend, let me ask you a question. Was your first kiss with him?”

Chaewon sighed, he was out to get a revenge on her. The stubborn force in him let her know he wouldn’t stop until she gave him the answer. She decided to just save her energy.

“No, just so you won’t bug me, we never did anything more than hug and kisses on the cheek when we were young.”

He smiled satisfyingly, for a short moment.

“Then, who was it?”

“My prom date, third year senior high school.”

“How was it?”

The question made her glared at him.

“You really are something.”

He only shrugged, playing indifferent.

“You know me already, I’m a lawyer, and I always get my questions answered.”

“It was weird because I kept thinking I’m doing something wrong and I was worried if Heo Joon would ever find out about it. Satisfied?!”

“Not yet. How about ours? Did you think about him?”

She was silenced, staring at his rigid face.

“It’s...a secret,” she decided.

Yet, it was enough to make him smiled smugly.

“I know,” he said, “yes, let’s be friends, for now.”

She felt like hiding.

.

Around one and half year later.

His right hand fumbled around the bed right as he stirred from his sleep. He groaned when found nothing but pillows.

“Honey?” he called his voice hoarse.

But he got no answer. The room was quiet.

He dragged his body to move and rise. The blanket slipped down revealing his bare torso. He looked around for the clothes he left scattered around the room last night, but it was no longer there. Sluggishly, he went to the closet and took a pair of trousers and t-shirt.

It was nine in the morning, as shown by the clock on the bedside. He went out of the room, intending to check the kitchen but was greeted by the cold living room. He turned to the side, the door to the balcony was opened.

And she was standing there, wrapped in a thick scarf and sweater.

“You’ll catch cold like this,” he spoke.

His hands circled her waist from behind, leaving a peck on the crown of her head.

She looked up.

“Good morning, Sleepyhead,” she said.

He made a clicking sound with his tongue.

“Who told you to be so beautiful last night, making me losing my sleep?”

She slapped his hand resting on her belly.

“Please refrain from using your for the next thirty weeks. I don’t want my child to get a bad influence so early.”

Yes, she was five weeks into her pregnancy. She just found out the day before, going to the doctor without telling him because she thought it was just fatigue.

“Hey, that’s my child too! Our child.”

Chaewon smiled at the tender tone he was using.

“Do you think it will be a boy or girl?” she asked.

Joongki tightened his hold on her trying to steal some of her heat as he pondered. She took her scarf off and wrapped it on both of their neck.

“Boy or girl, I will still love them as much. But if she is a girl, I want her to stay away from Yeonhee’s son.”

She chuckled.

“Why? You’re afraid she would fall for him just like how her mother fell for his father? You told me you will never be jealous, but what is this? You’re going to be a father and still acting like a child.”

“Well, just in case.”

She broke free from his hug.

“Let’s get back inside, you’ll catch cold.”

They marched along, closing the door behind. Joongki felt he could live again as his feet made contact with the warm floor.

“Now, wifey, what do you want for breakfast?”

She looked like a child as she answered him with a sheepish smile.

“Anything with meat?”

Joongki nodded, tightening his lips in a mocking manner.

“As expected of my pretty pig wife, feasting on meat right from the morning.”

“Hey, it’s your child’s appetite.”

“As if. If it’s my child’s appetite, I must have so many child by now already.”

She grinned.

“Hubby, I love you.”

He glared at her in return.

“That’s a cheat! I love you too, Wife.”

But, he smiled anyway and started moving to cook.

“Honey, let’s go to the doctor again later this afternoon,” he told her, waiting for the pan to get heated.

“Why? To get a full check up?”

“No, we need to consult on safe positions to make love while you’re pregnant. I was holding back myself too much last night, I think I might break my back.”

Chaewon felt like throwing the bowl of grape she was holding.

“Oppa, really!”

.

Author's note :

Hello. Hi. Hola!

I miss writing them so I cut my sleeping time to write this. I'm still on a business trip, it's taking longer than it should be so I deeply apologize that I still haven't updated The Progress of Love and The Changing Tune. I hope this story could be a help for you guys in waiting for my next update.