In true honesty, I have never been one to be lucky at this whole love thing.
 

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“You’re cute when you’re cheesy, Stephanie.” He chuckled and kissed my nose. “I think I might like you very much too.”

I seem to keep running around in circles – getting trapped in empty promises of forever and hollow I love yous - to always end up right back where I started: alone and confused.

“He cheated on me! He ing cheated, Tae! Again! What did I do to deserve this?”

“It’s not your fault, Fany.”
 

Then, there’s you; and I thought I knew everything about you, when in fact I knew nothing simply because I was too busy navigating through meaningless relationships to notice.

“Fany, can we talk?”

“Of course, shoot.” I kept munching on the popcorn half absentmindedly; and even though it was so obvious how nervous you were, it seemed to pass right through me then.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about whether I should say this or not, because I don’t want it to affect our friendship; but I also need to do this for myself.” You kept playing with your phone, shifting it from hand to hand until you looked me in the eyes for a split second as you spoke. “I’m in love with you.”

In that moment, I knew things wouldn’t be the same again; but so did you – how hard must it have been to relay your feelings like that knowing I wouldn’t feel the same? You were always the brave one between the two of us, weren’t you?

“How long are you staying in the States?”

“I don’t know. A month? Two?”

As always I ran away – I ran from bar to bar; from bed to bed – until there was nowhere left to run to and I was right back at the start: alone and confused – so I ran back knowing that you’d still be there like you always had been; because you’d always be there, wouldn’t you?

“F-Fany?! You’re back?! When did you get back? Why didn’t you call?!”

“I just arrived like an hour ago – I came straight to see you. Do you still have room for me?”

You wrapped me in your arms again; yet I only felt guilt swallowing me – for a moment, I thought I wasn’t as self-seeking as I had thought; but that was denial. I just didn’t want to feel as much of an as I in fact were.
 

“How was Cali? Did you have fun these past few months?”

“Yeah, it was good spending time with my family.” You helped me carry the bags back to my bedroom – the one you kept clean and intact all those months. “I feel like I can keep going again.”

“I’m happy to see you reinvigorated yourself.”

Your smile was always so sincere – regardless of how much pain I’d cause you.

“So, anything new on your end?”

“Y-yeah, sort of – I found someone.” You blushed and I felt a discomforting sensation settling at the bottom of my stomach. “We’ve been on dates these past few weeks and I think I really like her.”

Even you laughed at my dumbfounded expression and I don’t blame you – I really was self-centered to the point of thinking you had been sulking around waiting for me. I really was a sad laughable character, wasn’t I? I think deep down I still am.

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting that. I’m really happy for you!”

“Yeah, me too. She really is great.”

You gave me a reassuring smile as if to tell me that you were okay – that you had moved on and everything could go back to the way it had always been between us. The way you looked at me was apologetic, even though I should have been the one apologizing – yet not a single apology left my lips.

“Enough of my love life. Settle in, I’m going to buy some alcohol so we can celebrate having you back.” You seemed to hesitate for a second and your voice came out low. “I missed you, Fany.”


I knew every corner of that house like the palm of my hand; and even though you hadn’t change anything it all felt so foreigner – from the couch to the sheets, nothing felt right: it’s funny how long it took me to realize that you were my home, isn’t it?
 

“Where are you going, Tae? You look nervous.”

“I’m going on a date tonight and I bought her a present, but I’m not sure if she’ll like it.”

“Since you bought it, I’m sure she’ll love it. Don’t stress about it. Good luck and have fun!”

Those words never came out of my mouth with sincerity; nor was my smile effortlessly honest – I was getting consumed by jealousy without knowing it. How did you do it? How did you endure all this without going insane?
 

“Back already? How did it go?”

“It went great! She loved the present!” The smile on your face was so painful to look at. “And…”

“And what? Did you get lucky?” I chuckled but there was nothing of happy in the sound that came out of my mouth – it sounded more like a forced grunt which was exactly what it had been.

“I suppose; just not how you’re thinking.” You blushed as you bit your lower lip. “She said she loved me and then we kissed.”

“Really? How cute!” My facial muscles had started to hurt from the strength I had to do to contradict the frown that wanted to settle in.

“This is really stupid. I feel like I’m 13 and I’m living my first love all over again.”

For as weird as it may sound, somewhere deep within me I truly believed that you still loved me; that a part of you would always love me - what right did I have to think that way? None, but I just had to be that selfish, didn’t I?

“You had a homely date?”

“Yeah and a hot one.” You gave me a knowing smile that I tried as best as I could to reciprocate. “I think I’m going to make it official next week – it will be exactly a month since our first date and I got us some matching bracelets for the occasion. I’m not overdoing it and being creepy, right?”

“No, you’re being sweet – the borderline creepiness is just a small price to pay for it really.” You threw me a pillow and I stuck out my tongue.
 

Her smell was filling your bedroom, lingering in the air – her perfume stuck on the sheets; still clinging onto you – and my heart tightened as the tears clogged in my eyes started to fall. There I was right back at the start: only this time, your arms wouldn't be my heartbreak hotel – the place I came to cry and heal; just to check-out in the end and repeat it all over again.


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A/N: So... I made Tiffany's P.O.V/sequel and decided to turn this into a series to be casually updated whenever I feel inspired to write for it. This is the result of my sleep-deprived mind, so sleep kids @___@

P.s: I will probably be adding my two one-shots for TaeNy and MoonSun "Garçom" here, because I think they fit well with the theme of the series ~