*DING DONG*

"I'll get it, honey!" Jimin shouts from the living room. He goes to the door to see who rang their doorbell.

To his surprise, it was his best friend in high school. None other than Kim Taehyung, whom he hasn't been in touch with for years.

Well, isn't this familiar. Jimin thought.

"Hi, Jimin!" Taehyung greeted with a slight shrug. "It's been a while."

"Taehyung? Is that you? Oh my god. It's been so long!" Jimin exclaimed happily. "What brings you here?"

Taehyung smiled at him bitterly, but did not answer.

"Um, you don't look too good. Do you want to come in first?" Jimin offered worriedly. Taehyung nodded immediately and entered the cozy little house. 

Him and Jimin sat across each other in the couch.

"So? Gonna tell me what you went here for?" Jimin asks.

Taehyung looked at him with a frown. He let out a sigh. "The truth is, I-"

"Papa, who's that?"

Jimin turned around to see his son gaping his mouth at the 'stranger'. Jimin chuckled when he realized Taehyung was doing the same thing. 

"Oh right, you haven't met each other yet. This is your uncle Taehyung. He's Papa's bestfriend! Taehyung, this is..." There was a pause.

"...M-my son." Jimin stuttered.

The child's doe eyes lightened up and he clapped his hands in glee. "Nice to mweet you Uncle Twaehyung." The child offered his hand to Taehyung. "I'm Kwookie and I'm fwive years old!"

Taehyung seemed baffled for a moment. His expression was unreadable, but to put it simply, he was shocked.

"Kookie? Like, Jungkook?" Taehyung blinked his eyes doubtedly at the child, then to Jimin, and back to the child.

Kookie nodded. "Wow, papa, he knew my real name even if I didn't tell him yet!" he giggled. Jimin laughed nervously.

"Yeah... You know what, Kookie? Um, why don't you play with that new toy I bought for you? It's hidden behind your bookshelf. I think it's about time you should play with it."

The little boy gasped in awe. "Really, Papa? Thwank you! I will!" Kookie ran towards his room, but he stopped and waved at Taehyung. "Later, Uncle Twaehyung."

With Kookie gone, there was a painful awkward silence between the two best friends.

"What a cute kid. He resembles you a lot, you know." Taehyung spoke up cheerfully. He cleared his throat. "So his name's Jungkook, huh."

Jimin scratched his head. "Yes, it is. Just thought it was cute." he mumbled inaudibly.

"I see." Taehyung replied shakily. "I see..."

Again, silence filled the room.

"Where's Yewon? How is she?" Taehyung asked, changing the unwanted topic.

"She's fine. Also, she's just upstairs in our room." Jimin smiled. "She's awfully shy, especially around good-looking guys like you. I doubt she'll come see you."

Taehyung, for the first time since he stepped foot in the house, let out a laugh. "Jimin, she's your wife."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean she doesn't know a handsome man when she sees one!" Jimin joked.

Taehyung wrapped his arm around Jimin's shoulder. "Ah, what was I so nervous about? You haven't changed a bit, Park Jiminie!"

"Right back at you, TaeTae." Jimin teased playfully.

Taehyung harshly tousled Jimin's hair. "Aish, seriously. No one has called me that painful nickname in eons. It feels good to see you again, bro."

Jimin sighed. "Yeah, it does. I missed you so much." He was grinning from ear to ear. How he missed his highschool days. 

Those days when he and Taehyung cut class just to watch the latest Avengers movie. Those days when Hoseok laughed so hard, orange juice (with pulp) came out of his nose. Those days when Seokjin ate a plate full of nothing but wasabi as punishment. Those days when he walked on Namjoon trying on a y, backless dress. Those days when Yoongi cursed at the teacher and blamed it on him, but both of them were sent to detention anyway. Those days when they were wild and had no regrets.

Those days when he was still with him.

He brushed off his wandering thoughts and turned to look at his old friend, but then he saw how Taehyung's expression suddenly changed. So did the atmosphere.

"Taehyung?"

"Look, Jimin. About what I came here for." Taehyung said in his deep voice in such a serious manner that Jimin felt scared for a moment.

"Right...What was it about, again?" he asks warily.

Taehyung gulped and looked like he was about to explode. He sighed heavily. "It's about Jungkook."

"Oh." Jimin's smile suddenly turned into a thin line. "What about him? Can you just say it quickly? Because I've got some things I ha-"

"I don't know how to tell you this, but... He's dead." Taehyung covered his face with both hands. "Jimin, Jungkook... Jungkook is gone."

Jimin's sight instantly blackened at the sudden words. His heart felt like it was being squeezed to a pulp. His eyes were on fire, and he wanted to throw up.

Jungkook? Dead? Those two words just don't belong together. He couldn't register his thoughts clearly and felt extremely and uncomfortably dizzy.

Jimin chuckled in disbelief. "I-I must have heard it wrong. Jungkook is what now?"

"Jimin, Jungkook was found dead in his apartment this week." Taehyung took a deep breath. "A-Apparently he's been dead longer than that, but the police only discovered his body four days ago when they decided to break into his place. They said he died because of too much use of-"

Taehyung kept on talking on and on about details on Jungkook's death, but Jimin wasn't hearing anything of it. It wasn't true. Jungkook can't be dead. He was so talented and handsome and young and full of life. How can he give up his life like that? It made no sense. It wasn't true. It wasn't real. It's not possible. It's all a lie.

"-and we found this letter. He was holding onto it, even when he was already dead." Taehyung's tears were on the verge of falling, but he kept them in. "And for some reason, I think it's for you, Jimin."

"I don't want it." Jimin remarked blankly.

"Hey, it's-"

"I don't want it!" Jimin stood up and raised his unstable voice.

Taehyung couldn't hold them in anymore. His tears fell down his cheeks like waterfalls. They wouldn't stop flowing. "Look, Jimin, our friend wrote this for you and held onto it til his last breath! Are you sure as hell that you don't want to read it?!" He shook Jimin's shoulders forcibly.

"I don't want it because he's not dead!" Jimin shouted, pushing Taehyung away from him. "He's not dead, okay? Stop telling me that. He's perfectly fine. You'll see. He's with his girlfriend and they're-"

Taehyung gritted his teeth. "Jimin, Jungkook broke up with her a long time ago. It's been four years. You didn't hear?"

Now, Jimin's world just started spinning. He had to sit down and breathe. "Wh-what? But, but why didn't he tell me?" Images of Jungkook showing up on his front door on a winter night years ago came running back to him. "Wait, he came to me four years ago too... I-I could've helped him. If only he told everything to me that night. If only..."

Taehyung bit his lip as he watched Jimin with pity.

Jimin, after a few moments of just staring into nothing, broke into miserable laughter. "It's my fault, isn't it? It's my fault he's dead."

"Jimin, no. I told you, didn't I? Jungkook died because of-"

Jimin grabbed Taehyung by his collar. "Oh, please. Don't say things like that! You know what I'm talking about. I killed him. I killed him slowly. I killed him! I-I killed Jungkook! I'm-"

That was it. Taehyung slapped Jimin across the face. "You're being delusional, that's what you are! Are you hearing yourself? Get it together and stop living in the past, man! Jungkook wouldn't want to see you like this."

Jimin smiled crookedly. "If he didn't want to see me like this, then he wouldn't have done that to himself in the first place."

Taehyung was at his wit's end. Unlike Yoongi, he wasn't very good at convincing people with roughness, and unlike Seokjin, he wasn't good at using calming and gentle words to comfort people.

"Hey, just, just read the letter. I know it hurts like hell, but maybe it'll provide some kind of closure between the two of you, you know? Take it." Taehyung looked at Jimin in the eye with sincerity. "Please."

Jimin lifted an eyebrow at the envelope and crumpled it. He threw it, and it safely landed on top of the table. "I said, I'm not reading it! Thanks for the time though. Are you done now?" he snorted.

Taehyung sighed sadly and felt bad seeing his beloved friend like this. "Jimin..." He opened his arms wide to give Jimin a hug, but Jimin refused.

"Okay." he huffed. "Okay. Fine. If that's what you want. I'll be going then. To Jungkook's funeral. All 6 of us wil be there later. It's in this address." Taehyung scoffed, leaving a small piece of paper on the table. "I'll see you there, best-friend."

Taehyung stormed out of the now messed-up little house, took one last look at Jimin, and slammed the door shut.

Jimin quietly began to put the things to where they were before. He arranged the couch and table as if nothing happened, but as he did, a crumpled piece of paper fell on the floor. 

"Jungkook's letter, huh." Jimin muttered to himself. His voice sounded nothing like him. It was so... broken.

After his little fight with Taehyung, he still found himself uselessly picking up the letter.

I'm a fool. Jimin thought.

Jimin held back his tears and choked up as he straightened out the crumpled envelope.

"To My One and Only" it read at the back of the envelope, in bold letters and in Jungkook's perfect handwriting. Below it was a squiggly drawing of a chibi Jimin holding a heart, which made Jimin smile ridiculously. Looking at it more closely, it looked like it was once a blue envelope, but the color has faded into a lonely shade of grey.

Feeling nostalgic, nervous, confused, and weak all at the same time, he opened it with trembling fingers. He began reading it slowly, so he can take all of his first love's unsaid words in.

Hey, Jimin. It's me.

I don't even know why I'm writing this, and I don't know if this letter will even reach you, but here goes.

First of all, I just wanted to say that I hate myself. I hate myself for saying those things to you. I hate myself because we could've been together now, but I was such an idiot. I hate myself because I'm too late to realize all this. I hate myself because all I ever did was ruin your life. Now I can't even be by your side anymore. I was with her all this time when I could've been with you. But it's not her fault at all. I let you slip away from me, and instead, I chose to stay miserable with her while I wore a pathetic fake smile on my face, because I thought it would make me normal. 

But you know what, Jimin? Later on, I realized you were the only normal thing in my life.

Everything would've been different if I just stopped being a coward. I chose not to go to you or even show my face to you all these years because I was scared. I was scared of not being able to stay true to my own filthy words and make a fool out of myself, but guess what? I'm already a fool. I've always been a hopeless fool. I was just refusing to admit it. And maybe I was scared with the thought of you hating me, but that was the least of my problems because I know you don't have the heart to. What I was afraid of the most was myself. I just wouldn't be able to handle it if I came to see you after all those things I said to you, and so I never did, and it was all because of my stupid ego. 

So yeah, everything is my fault. 

Don't you find it ironic? I kicked you out of my life, and later I find myself knocking on you and your wife's front door. You were right, I've turned into an , and a very stupid one at that. I'm too late, and there's nothing I can do about it. Maybe we could have fixed us earlier. Or if that incident never even happened, we could've been together in a small house just like yours, cuddling in the sofa while binge-watching all 3 seasons of Kuroko no Basuke with a bowl of soggy choco cereal on our hands. You're right, we were perfect. But now we're pointless.

How I wish there's still the two of us. How I wish to go back to those days when we were young and reckless and passionate, but that's what they all are now. Memories left in the past which I still held on to.

Now there's just me. I'm alone and cold and I made myself like this. You didn't deserve all the pain I made you go through. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Jimin.

You don't have to forgive me. I just want to convey how sorry I am for being an .

I don't blame you for not showing yourself to me because that was exactly what I told you to do. But I was wrong. I thought not seeing you would make me forget all about us, but it only made my heart long for you even more. I guess the old saying is true: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. You know why? Because there was never a day you didn't cross my mind. I always wondered what you were up to. If you've been crying over some lame thing, or if you were taking too much time in the shower, or if you let the dog chew on your boxers again, or if you forgot to set up your alarm for the nth time.

Then I remember: I don't have a say in whatever the hell you do anymore because you were no longer mine, and it's all because of me, and meanwhile I was with a girl I never truly loved. She made me feel a lot of things, but nothing made me feel like you do. 

Whenever I talked with her, I heard your sweet little voice. When I kissed her, all I could taste were your lips. When she hugged me, chills ran through my body as I remember your touch. All this time, my heart had been helplessly screaming for you, that I wanted you, and that I was wrong. I was so wrong. But did I listen to it? I didn't. Of course I didn't. I regret not doing so, because if I did, we would have had another chance. Instead, I hurt you and at the same time I hurt her. You deserve all the good things in this world, and I deserve this kind of ending to such a bad life. I won't even whine about how unfair all of this is, because it's only fair that I don't get the happy ending in the story. Still, I want to thank you. Thank you, Jimin, because you made it worthwhile. My life had some kind of meaning because you were part of it.

Even if I wasn't deeply aware, you - or rather - the memories we shared together were the only thing that kept me going, because you were all that I am. You left a part of yourself in me which couldn't be erased no matter how hard I tried. Your stubbornness brushed off on me, you know. I clung to the past like a baby, like you did once. Heck, maybe even more than you did.

How the tables have turned. Look at you. You're no longer a baby; you're a dad to a baby. That's awesome. At least one of us led a happy life.

But, to think that you named him after me... Very original, Jimin. Not to assume but, I'm pretty darn certain I am the only Jungkook in your life. 

Well, was.

It's cheesy, yes. But knowing how incredibly lame you are, it seemed just like something you would do. Alhough I'm embarrassed and flustered, I really, really appreciate it. I hope Park Jungkook doesn't grow up as a complete failure like me though, so take good care of him. I know you will.

Let me tell you something that has been bugging me to no end. It's funny how all this time I believed I was running away from you, when in fact, I always ended up walking just an inch closer to you. But by the time I was finally in front of you, things just couldn't go back to the way they were before. Life sure is cruel. But, you can't deny we've been cruel ourselves, right? So I guess life finally got even with us.

Lastly, I hope the time you'll have to read this would never come, because if you are reading this right now, then it means I already gave up. I gave up on you, me, and on life, which is not good, because by the end of this letter, you'd probably be drowning in tears and snot and sitting there thinking it's your fault.

I'm right, aren't I? Man, I can't believe I made you cry again. I'm such a jerk, even when I'm already gone. Look, it's not your fault, Jimin. Like I said, all of this is my fault. I did this to myself. 

Oh, and don't think of me that much. I don't deserve it, and I'm gonna be too happy if you do think of me. In fact, I want you to live on like we didn't happen. I've brought you too much pain already, so get over me. I'm not worth remembering, anyways. Besides, you're the one who needs to be happy, not me. Knowing that you have a family of your very own is enough for me.

I can feel it. You'll be successful, and rich, and famous, and loved... All the things I weren't. So live on with a smile on your face. Promise me, okay? Promise me that you will never lose that smile of yours. It's a promise, then. You never break promises. What a shame. :)

You were the best mistake in my life, Park Jimin. I hope I was yours too.

Goodbye. For now.

Yours and yours only, 

Jeon Jungkook

Jimin held the letter tightly to his heart and closed his eyes, letting tears of regret fall one by one while reminiscing all his memories left of Jungkook. He broke into quiet, stifled sobs and didn't stop, not even when he could no longer breathe properly.

"Goodbye, my one and only." Jimin whispers.

And he smiled.

A/N: Hi there!

I just wanted to say thanks to all of you who read this. I didn't expect this many people to read it because I just started to write this out of the blue at 3am and then published it right after I finished writing it.

Anyways, I hope you liked it even if I'm not good in writing angst, or just writing in general 😂

I'll try to make more stories for you guys, and I'll strive to become a better author... though I'm not professional in any way lol.

Again, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE GREAT FEEDBACK. All of your comments really make me happy! (although reading this made you sad)

Word count: 3197 words

Edited on 06/04/2016