So I wrote this one on my phone and I'm planning on updating a second chapter /hence the name 1/2) so.... enjoy :)

He tries to enter the dorm as quiet as possible but nothing seems to escape the eldest hyung's ears and he's caught trying to untie his shoes in the hallway, "Where have you been?" Asks Jinhwan as he looks Chanwoo up and down in wonder. 

Chanwoo freezes in his place and has to lean against the wall to stop himself from falling over, "I was...eh, out for a walk" he says quietly because he knows he's a bad liar and if he doesn't tell the truth Jinhwan will see through his lies anyway. 

"A walk. At this hour?" Jinhwan sounds frantic and Chanwoo understands why, it's a Wednesday, well Thursday now, and 2 in the morning, he'd think something was wrong if Jinhwan didn't sound worried. But he had just needed some fresh air, he hadn't meant to be out so late. 

"I was just feeling a bit weird, I needed some space" he settles for a simple explanation that isn't totally true but not a lie either, Jinhwan seems to accept it because he nods after a few seconds and sighs deeply, "go get dressed and go to bed" he mumbles but it's soft and doesn't sound angry at all, just very tired. And Chanwoo doesn't want to torture his hyung with any more of his problems so he just nods and makes haste for the bathroom. 

While inside he strips off his clothes and throws them in the laundry basket, he washes his face and brushes his teeth before exiting and going to his room. Junhwe's asleep when he enters which he thanks whatever lord is watching for, he crawls underneath his covers and draws then up to his neck, almost covering his face. 

He falls sleep relatively quickly with a lot on his mind, but he's at least a bit more at peace now than he was a few hours ago. 

-

The next day is not much better, he awakes to Junhwe's annoying Bang Bang Bang alarm and stubs his toe on the side of his desk when he tries to stand up. His arms tangle up in his shirt as he dresses himself and his face feels puffy, in conclusion, it's a day. 

Vocal practice goes alright, his voice doesn't crack embarrassingly and he doesn't miss any major keys, but it's by far not one of his good days. Dance practice is worse and Hanbin refuses to let up on his scolding, his left ring finger twitches at the wrong time, his ear moves a millimeter, he blinks too noticeably during Junhwe's part in Apology, you name it. Anything Hanbin can find he points out, Chanwoo knows he's a perfectionist, so is he himself, but this is on a whole 'nother level. 

"Chanwoo, there's a clear Bang where you're supposed to put your foot down, have you gotten no rhythm? You do? Then why is your foot a second early huh?" Chanwoo is so tired and exhausted and wants nothing more than to sink down into the floor and curl up in a ball, a ball of sadness and teenage angst and whatever he's feeling. He hates making the others disappointed, and even though they tell him it's alright he knows how mad they get when they have to do the dance again because he misses one step. 

"I'm sorry, hyung" he mumbles as he gets back in his place, ready to start the dance all per again, they've been at it for 6 hours and everyone's exhausted and hungry and just about ready to fall asleep but Chanwoo can't give up, he just can't. 

"Let's end it here, it's good enough" Hanbin says but Chanwoo can hear the disappointment as clearly as he can see the sun on a cloudless day, it puts a weight on his shoulders that he knows he won't be able to just shake off by taking a shower and eating something home cooked. He needs to take a walk. 

"I'll stay for a while, hyung" he says and the silence that meets it is even worse than any answer he could imagine, Hanbin doesn't even look at him as he packs his bag and grabs his phone, it makes Chanwoo's heart  sink to his feet. Jinhwan gives him a tired smile but at least he makes an effort. Chanwoo smiles back and waves a little, "don't stay too long."

And then they're gone, leaving Chanwoo alone in the practice room. He lets himself just breathe for a a few minutes before he too starts to pack his bag and grab his water bottle, he turns the lights off and locks the door. 

He needs a breather. 

-

He takes the same walk as the day before, out on the streets with his eyes turned downwards (not that many would recognize HIM) and his head hung. It takes him a good 20 minutes to get to the bridge and as soon as he's on it he instantly feels more relived. He thinks the name helps, The bridge of life. It has calming effect on him and he relaxes his tense body as he walks along the railing, "have you eaten?" And "how are you?" Lights up as he walks past and it puts a smile on his face. He's not there to jump, has never been, he's only there to relax, to wind down. But a little comfort, even if it is not meant for him, is greatly appreciated. 

When he gets to the middle of the bridge he pauses and leans against the railing, he looks out over the water as a few cars can be heard driving past behind him. Except for the cars the bridge is relatively empty, which gives him great comfort, knowing that he can enjoy some alone time. 

His enjoyment is short lived though as a hand lands on his shoulder, he turns around quickly ready to punch his way out if necessary but the blinding orange vest stops him.  "Are you alright?" The man asks calmly but doesn't let go of him, his brows are furrowed and he looks like he's ready to take Chanwoo on if he tries anything. That's when he realizes what this must look like, a lonely boy at night wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and a hoodie with a backpack on his back, leaning against the railing (and have been for quite some time) just looking. The man must think he's there to jump. 

"I'm fine" he manages to say and the man's face almost looks even more troubled, maybe he's heard many people say they're fine but then not meant it and jumped, Chanwoo thinks. "Really, I'm not here to jump, I'm just...relaxing" he settles for and the man'a hand slips off his shoulder. 

"Weird place to relax at" he says and Chanwoo chuckles, "it's calm here, I needed that" he mumbles and the man nods but doesn't move, he looks like he's not completely convinced just yet. "Can I call someone for you?" He asks and Chanwoo is about to say no when he realizes just how cold he is and how desperately he wants to go home, and there's a long way home from where he's standing. 

So instead of saying no, he nods. It's small but the man notices and his face seems to soften, he grabs his phone out of his pocket, "tell me a number" he says as Chanwoo contemplates on whom he should call. In the end he realizes that  it doesn't matter who he calls because everyone will find out anyway, he settles for Jinhwan, because he assumes he'll be the most calm. 

He says the numbers and the man types them into his phone, then there's a silence that stretches for a bit as they wait for Jinhwan to pick up. Chanwoo doesn't hear Jinhwan's side of he conversation but he seems petty upset judging by how many times the man has to reassure him that "Chanwoo's alright" and "he's standing right here". 

The conversation's over in a few minutes and Chanwoo pulls his sleeves down further as the man ends the call, "he said they're on their way, so if you don't mind, I think I'll stay with you until they get here" Chanwoo knows it's because he's afraid he'll jump even after he said it's not the reason he's there, but he appreciates the company anyways. And so they stand there in the cold and wait for his hyungs to show up, at home point he turns back to the water to look out and a second later the hand is back on his shoulder, "not gonna jump" he says but the hand doesn't move. 

He doesn't say anything after that and neither does the man, they stand like that in silence until a car pulls up on the side of the road. He recognizes it as their manager's car and he steps away from the railing to go greet the worried looking Jinhwan that sprints out of the car. 

"Oh my god what were you thinking?" It sounds like he's crying and Chanwoo feels a bit guilty for causing it, it seems that Jinhwan jumped to the same conclusion as the man, that he was there to take his life. 

"Hyung, I went for a walk" he says and Jinhwan hugs him tight, "to this bridge?! You know what it's famous for, right?" He asks with his face buried in Chanwoo's shoulder and Chanwoo nods, he does, he realizes that maybe he should have explained his walks a bit more, to avoid something like this. 

"That's not why I'm here, hyung" he says quietly and Jinhwan tries to laugh but it sounds quite broken, "god, I hope not,"

He lets go of Chanwoo but keeps a firm hand on his back, he turns towards the man and reaches out with his right hand, "thank you for calling" he says and the man shakes his hand, "take care of him" is the only thing he says and Jinhwan nods in return and then he's dragging Chanwoo towards the car driven by their manager who seems quite agitated in his driver's seat. 

"We are gonna talk about this tomorrow" he says as soon as Chanwoo's strapped in and secure in the back seat, Jinhwan nods his agreement and grabs Chanwoo's hand, Chanwoo really doesn't want to talk about anything because there's nothing to talk about but he knows that they need answers. Answers that only he has, he knows that they need reassurance that he wasn't  there to so anything stupid. 

"I wasn't gonna kill myself" he says quietly and he can almost hear Jinhwan hold his breath, "I really just went for a walk, I swear" he adds quietly and Jinhwan's grip on his hand tightens. "There are other places to walk to" he says sternly but Chanwoo can hear that he isn't  mad at him, only worried and scared. "The water is peaceful" Chanwoo says and he hears their manager sigh in the front, "then we'll take you to the ocean next time we're in Busan, or walk along the shore of the river. But please, not the bridge" he says and he almost sounds like he's begging, Chanwoo can't help but agree. 

"Okay, hyung, a walk along the shore sounds nice." 

Jinhwan's grip on his hand tightens. 

So I hope you enjoyed that, stay tuned for the next part <3

Have a lovely day/night/morning/afternoon :)